Never by Blue Saffire
Chapter 34
My Baby Girl
King
I saw my father when he stormed out of the club like a bat out of hell. I’d gone to follow him until Mix stopped me, told me to let it go. I almost didn’t until I saw Rose staring after Dad with worry on her face.
“Do you know what happened?” Rose says from the seat beside me in my truck.
“Not sure,” I reply, but it’s a lie. Mix told me Dad had a conversation with Gutter.
“He looked so angry. Do you think he went to the house?”
I can’t help the smile that comes to my face. Rose is worried about Dad. That’s a good thing.
I’m hopeful for my dad. He loves this woman. I take my eyes off the road to glance at her.
“He just might be. I’ll stay around until he shows up if not,” I say.
“You don’t have to but thank you.”
“It’s not a problem. We used to hang out a lot. You would bake and cook and shit. You also kept me from being a knucklehead.”
“What about the girls? Did they spend that time with us?”
“Not Sal so much as Eva. Sal was away at school most of the time.”
I catch her nod as I look away from the road. The confusion in her expression makes my chest tight. She’s trying so hard to remember. It’s written all over her face.
“Why would I send my child away? That doesn’t feel like me.”
“Oh, you were against it. Dad had the hardest time showing you it was the best thing for Sal. I think you guys took more trips to visit Sal at school than anything.
“In the end, you agreed it was right for her. She’s so damn smart and the schools around here weren’t doing much to keep her interested,” I explain.
“That would make sense, but Eva seems to be very smart, too. Why not send them both? They would’ve protected each other.”
I shake my head. “Eva is different. Sal was fine…” I trail off as it hits me how much of a lie that is. She wasn’t fine, at least not in college. That’s when things changed.
“Eva is always in her own bubble. Sal has this thing. She’s recording everything around her even when she and everyone else think she’s not. It’s a hell of a survival skill.
“I think Dad saw that as a protection mechanism. Something to help Sal adapt and handle herself,” I share.
“She’s not adapting now,” Rose says matter-of-factly. “I don’t remember her well, but I sense something is wrong or… off, maybe.”
“A mother always knows.” I give her a sad smile.
“All of you guys are close to Cage? I mean, he seems like a good father. He has been good to my girls?” I hear the real question in her voice and the defensiveness of a mother.
“Rose, when my daddy was chasing you, I wasn’t that much younger than you. I thought he was crazy. I was even angry for a bit.
“I got over it and we became real friends. Now, when it comes to my daddy and your girls. He has always been the father they needed and would put a motherfucker to ground for thinking of hurting one of them.
“I may know where a few bodies are. Trust, there were a few who wanted to test the theory, and Daddy made good on his word every time. Eva and Sal think Cage hangs the moon, because for them he would. They are always safe with him,” I say.
She blows out a breath. “I feel safer with him at the house than not. I hope he’s there.”
The smile returns to my lips. Yeah, there’s hope for my pops. I think the old Rose is somewhere in there.
It’s not possible to forget a love like theirs. She’ll come around. We all need to give it time.
I pull up into the massive driveway and Cage’s bike comes into view. Lights are on throughout the house. One of the garage doors is open.
“You want me to come in with you?”
She stares out the windshield. “Um, no. You go home to that pretty girl of yours.”
“You need me, call. I’m always here for you and Dad. No matter what the problem is.”
“Thank you, King. I hope we can be friends again.”
“We are that and more. You never tried to replace my mama or disrespect her memory. I have a deep respect for you because of that.”
“When we respect what was before us. It makes us care for what we have,” she says the words so easily, I would swear she remembers saying them to me a million times.
However, the way she turns so nonchalantly to get out of my truck, I know she’s only saying them as a reflex. Again, I’m hopeful. It will all come back.
Cage
I crouch in front of the bike I’m trying to work on in the garage of my home, shredded to pieces. I’ve walked every inch of this home, remembering when I kept my girls safe. When I had no doubts about every detail of their lives.
I played this all wrong. In hindsight, I see everything I could’ve done differently. My baby girl was raped.
“Son of a bitch. Why?” I growl brokenly as I tug at my hair.
I knew it from the look in her eyes. However, hearing Gutter rundown what happened, I feel like I failed my baby girl. I failed Rose.
I haven’t felt like this since I thought I would lose Rose to that accident, but this is a different kind of hurt. I promised Rose I would protect her and our girls.
I never should have hid away. Six years was too long. King had so much on his shoulders. Sending Salalia to school was my idea. I kept an eye on her studies and boarding every school year.
I would have done the same when she went off to College. I’ve always been so protective of my girls. Sal is tough, but she’s always been so innocent and trusting, too.
“Cage?” Rose’s soft voice breaks through my thoughts.
I pull my shit together and stand to my full height. She takes a step back out of the garage door. I release a long breath.
I wish she would stop flinching away from me. I would never hurt her. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.
“Are… are you all right?” she asks cautiously.
I nod my head and swipe at the moisture in the corners of my eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
Rage fills me as I think of all the ways I plan to make those motherfuckers suffer. Especially the one who put his hands on Sal. When I notice Rose shrinking back, I reel it in.
I look around. “We have a bunch of photo albums in here. The ones I was telling you about. Would you like to sit with me to look through them?” I pause and redirect. “Or I can get them out and you can have a look at them.”
She makes her way farther into the garage. “No, no. We can look together. I probably would be lost looking at them by myself.”
I nod and wave her over. “Come on over, we’ll take a few books inside.” I lift my chin toward the house.
She comes over as I move to the cabinets holding the albums and pull a few out. I hand her two and take out another four to carry in myself.
Rose settles on the couch once we get into the living room area. I sit beside her and place my stack of albums on the coffee table. Cautiously, I reach for the one on top of the two in her lap and flip it open. Rose looks up at me for a long moment.
I hold my breath, hoping she remembers something about me. After a few beats, she shakes her head and looks down at the photos. She reaches to run a finger over one photo.
It’s of the girls. My heart breaks as I look at Sal’s bright open smile. She looks so innocent and happy.
She moves her hand to a picture of all the girls dressed in Lost Souls softball uniforms. Eva, Sal, Misty, Erica and Sugar are all filthy, with smiles on their faces. I remember that game. People are always underestimating those girls.
They are fierce in their own right, but together they are an unexpected force. They made me proud that day. Rose releases a breath, pulling me from my musing.
“I wish I could remember them like this. They played softball?”
“Sure did. We coached them. You swing a mean bat yourself.” I wink at her. “If you check the front closet in the foyer, you’ll find your slugger.”
“I’ll have to check that out.” She gives a soft smile and looks back at the photos. I watch as she chews on her lip, waiting for her to ask the question I see swimming in her eyes. “I… um. You’re not their father, are you?”
“No, not biologically, but in every other way, I’ve been their daddy for years.”
She nods and looks up at me. “Do you know what happened to their father?”
“Yes. I’ll tell you, but can we hold off on that? It’s been a long night.”
She reaches to cup the smooth side of my face. I hold stock-still. I don’t want to send her running for the hills.
Rose searches my face with her pretty brown ones. It takes the strength of God, his angels and all the disciplines to keep my ass from taking her lips. I miss my wife so fucking much.
“Whatever’s hurting you, it has to get better,” she says. “You seem like such a strong man.”
I grasp her hand and turn my face slowly. That startled look comes to her eyes and I think better of kissing her palm. I smile and turn my attention back to the photos as I release her hand.
While we look through our past, I vow to right everything that has happened in the gap in between all of those good memories and the painful ones I wasn’t around to prevent.