Never by Blue Saffire
Chapter 7
Clear Things Up
Gutter
She looks at me with a pained expression and scoffs at my last words. “Your filthy past? You have no idea what I’m running from. I’m not talking about the reason King sent you for me. I’m talking about what sent me running to live all alone in New York in the first place.”
Her eyes fill with tears, but she blinks them away. She draws in a breath and shudders. “I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this. I have never told anyone. Not King, not even Eva.
“Computers and gadgets have always been more interesting to me than people. I spent so many hours working on my next great idea. My teachers called me a prodigy.
“My first year in college, I had one professor who took a little extra interest in me. I soaked it up. He had access to publications, labs, and technology no one else had. To a geek like me, he was a god.”
She pauses and her lips tremble. I get the feeling she’s reliving the memory. “He offered me a spot on a developmental team that went to London for the summer. I was so naïve. I didn’t see what was going on.
“Once we were in London, something conveniently happened to my apartment. There were five others, and everything went smoothly for them. My professor promised it would be straightened out in a matter of days. He offered to let me stay at his flat for that time.
“I… I didn’t think… he had a wife. She was due to join him a few weeks after we arrived. I never paid attention to the way he looked at me. I dismissed his occasional flirting. I ignored his light touches. I missed it all, until it was too late,” her words come out brokenly as the tears spill over onto her cheeks.
“He was a gentleman the first two nights. We stayed up late each night, drinking wine and laughing like old friends. I had no reason not to feel safe. That all changed the third night.
“I had gone out with some of the other students to sightsee. I came in a little late and… he’d been drinking. He was in a jealous rage. He accused me of sleeping with one of the male students. I can still hear him shouting, calling me a whore.
“He went on and on about how I had led him on to get a spot on the team. How I was just there to whore around for the summer. I was stunned. No one had ever talked to me that way,” Sal chokes. She stops talking and swallows hard.
“One minute, I was trying to pack my things to leave. The next, I was on my back blinking away tears as he breathed his hot breath in my face. I felt so stupid lying there. While it was happening, I could see everything I had missed before.
“The next morning, I was informed that all of my paperwork fell through and I would have to return home while it was straightened out. I came home, but I didn’t go back to school.
“I made up some bullshit to tell King and asked him to get me away. I knew King would kill him. I wanted him dead, but I didn’t want King to go to jail because of me.” She folds her arms across her middle.
“I can’t stand the touch of a man. You’re the first I have allowed to touch me. I was a young, naïve virgin when I went to London. I came back something… someone else. So, you can’t make me filthy with your past, Gutter. I’m already dirty,” she whispers the end.
I growl and I growl deep. I cup her sweet face in my hands and look her in the eyes. “It took me a long time to see what those motherfuckers did wasn’t my fault. The shit I chose was the shit I chose, but the things forced on us, baby… that shit ain’t on us.
“You’re not dirty, Salalia,” I say through clenched teeth. “And I don’t ever want to hear you say that shit again.”
Before I can say another word, her lips are pressed to mine and her fingers are locked in my hair. I reach for her hips and deepen the kiss as my cock comes back to life. I had gone soft the moment I thought of my past.
The hunger I had for Sal earlier comes back with a vengeance. I kiss her hard and ravenously. I lift her shirt over her head and try my best to push my demons to the back of my mind.
I want this. I want her. I squeeze my eyes shut as the voices in my head rise. I guess that’s the wrong fucking thing to do. Sweat breaks out on my forehead as images of the women and their men fill my vision.
I pull my lips away from Sal’s and place my forehead to hers. “Fuck,” I grunt.
She cups my face with her small hands. “Look at me, Pierson,” she whispers.
My eyes fly open at the sound of my real name. It has been so long since I’ve heard it. Melody had pet names for us. She wouldn’t call me and Terry by our names. I remember my mom being the last woman to call me Pierson.
“It’s okay. We don’t have to rush. I’m just as scared as you are. We can take our time. I’m yours, just as I promised, so we have all the time in the world.”
I nod and reach to wipe her tears from her cheeks. We’re one fucked-up pair, two lost souls for real, but she’s right. We can take our time. I don’t want to hurt her with my demons and lack of control of my shit. I pinch her chin and bring her face to mine to softly kiss her lips.
“I’m sorry, baby. Just give me a little time. I want you. I just need to deal with the shit in my head,” I say.
“You and me both.” She gives me a shy smile. “Don’t be sorry.”
I move back on the bed, bringing her body with mine. I lie down and cradle her against my chest. “Salalia.”
“Yes, Pierson.” She releases a tiny laugh.
“I want his name. It’s not a request, baby girl. I want his name and you’re going to give it to me,” I say with finality.
“Yeah, I figured that.” She sighs, but says no more.
We don’t say anything else as the room falls silent except for our breathing. That crazy ass fucker, Grim, has been trying to get me to meditate for months. I was resistant at first, but knowing him and Reap the way I do, I figure if it works for them, then it could work for me.
Grim and Reap have done and seen some shit as club enforcers and in their brief military careers. I’m willing to try anything that may have chased away their demons. I’ve been working at it for the last month or so, and right now seems like one of the best times to try it.
I focus on clearing my mind, allowing Sal’s breathing to guide me to clear thoughts. Her soft body against mine pulls me deeper into the peace I’m chasing. When I inhale, her sweet scent becomes a lullaby.
All the bullshit evaporates, and I am here in this room. For the first time in a long time, I am in the moment, something that is very hard for a man like me.
Sal shifts to my side and snuggles in close. My peace isn’t broken with the move. Instead, I start to lazily run my hands up and down her side as if she’s my anchor, tethering me to the here and now. Her warm brown skin is the softest I’ve ever touched.
This is the most peaceful I’ve ever felt. I stare up at the ceiling and my mind drifts to how this could be my life. A woman who’s mine by my side.
It’s only when Sal giggles that I bring my gaze from the ceiling and look down at her.
“What?” I grunt as she turns that beautiful face up at me. “What’s so funny?”
“Well, first, you’re tickling me.” She giggles again and squirms against my side.
I still my hand and lift a brow at her. She gives me a breathtaking smile, then she lowers her lashes and bites her lip. I reach for her face, lifting her chin so her eyes meet mine.
She takes the cue and responds. “I’ve never been this horny. I mean, I’m really turned on by just being in your arms,” she says softly.
The blood in my veins catches fire. I slip my hand to the back of her neck and drag her up to my lips. The kiss is every bit as hungry as the others from earlier, maybe more so. I want to devour her whole.
She whimpers into my mouth. I swallow the sound like my last meal. She tastes so good and refreshing. Salalia tastes like the home I’ve never known.
She draws back much too soon, breaking the kiss. She looks me in the eyes. There is passion mixed with caution in her gaze. I’m sure she sees the same within my own eyes.
“Maybe we could start with where we’re both comfortable,” Sal whispers, as her eyes drop down to my cock standing at attention. She drags her gaze back up to mine as she licks her lips. “If it’s too much for either of us, we can stop, but maybe we can start off slow. Just do something to take the edge off.”
I nearly growl but draw it back in before it escapes my chest. I want a taste of her so bad, I’m ready to come out of my skin. I nod my head, not sure of what words will sound like at the moment and not wanting to scare her off.
Sal looks at my mouth and this time I lick my own lips. I finally find my voice and say to her. “Come sit on my face, baby girl.”
Sal hesitates for a few seconds, long enough for me to consider she may not be ready for this much. Then she lifts to her knees and crawls up to straddle my face. I lock my hands on her thighs before she can settle in. Lifting my face, I inhale her sweetness and take my first lick.
I groan deep in my throat. She tastes better than I could ever have imagined. I’m gentle, letting her get used to my touch and easy strokes. When she starts to rock her hips against my face, I let my restraint slip a little.
My head is still clear, thank fuck, because I don’t ever want to stop eating her pussy. The scent of leather clings to her thighs, and I don’t know why it turns me on so much. It makes me want to have her on the back of my bike with my brand on her in the worst way.
“Mmm,” I moan into her sweet heat as I buck my hips up off the bed at the feel of her first lick of the tip of my cock.
I nearly come on the spot. When she wraps her lips around the crown and slides down slowly, I roll my eyes in my head. I clench my jaw to keep from embarrassing myself.
When I have control of my body once again, I return to eating her pussy with vigor as she humps the shit out of my face. I slip two fingers inside her, finding that sweet spot. Circling my tongue around her clit, I work her toward the edge.
When I know I have her right there, I clamp down on her nub and suck, hard.
My cock pops from her lips and she cries out into the room. Her whole body trembles with her release. She slumps to the side.
I’m sure her legs are jelly. Sal covers her face as she tries to catch her breath. I watch her roll onto her back and stare up at the ceiling, blinking.
I still taste her on my lips. I lick them, wanting more. Slowly, I climb over to her, moving between her thighs as I scoot her body down the mattress, before I settle my big body between her long brown legs.
Before she can catch up to what I have planned, I have my mouth on her pussy, lapping at her juices and sucking her pussy lips into my mouth. First the right lip, then the left, before I twirl my tongue into her heat.
I grunt and groan into her as my mouth fills with her juices. She tastes so good. I close my eyes to savor her flavor, wrong move, once again. As soon as I close my eyes, Sal moans into the room and I’m thrown back in time.
My body tenses as the first of the images assaults me. I grip the covers, trying to shove the memories back. It doesn’t help. I’m drowning and drowning fast.
“Gutter,” Sal calls my name, just barely breaking through the raging voices and visions. “Gutter, babe, look at me. Come on, babe. It’s me. Your baby, Salalia.” My eyes fly open and I look up at her. “No one else is here. No one can hurt us. It’s me and you. Just keep your eyes on me.”
My mind reels back. Did she just say she’s my baby?What is this woman doing to me? My need to claim her possesses me.
I climb her body and crush my lips to hers. Her juices are still clinging to my face. Sal stuns me when she licks them from my chin and lips. I groan into her mouth.
We reconnect our lips. I reach for my aching cock and line myself up with her entrance and pause as I look into her eyes. As hard as it will be, I will stop if she wants me to. We lock gazes and there’s something unspoken that passes between us. I nod my understanding, while I slide slowly into her tight heaven.
This is right. I feel it with everything in me. The look of trust in her eyes proves it. I couldn’t ask for more.
Feeling her trust and trusting her goes a long way to balm my aching soul. Her entire body arches into me. I wrap my arm around her back and hold her to me as I move in and out of her, creating a safe place for both of us. She’s so slick and tight. I nip at her full lips as my name falls off of them.
“My baby,” I mutter. She was so right. She is mine. No one can change that or take it away, and no one will ever keep me from enjoying her in this way ever again. “My Salalia. Mine forever. I’m never letting you go.”
“Good, because I won’t leave you,” she whispers back.
I capture her lips, but neither of us closes our eyes. I don’t think we can. Not yet.
I move in and out of her with care, until her heels dig into my ass, urging me to move deeper. I give her what she wants, rocking into her long, hard, and deep.
I’m completely lost. I was once drowning in my past, but now I’m drowning in my woman. The woman I want to be my future. I just pray I don’t fuck this up.
Sal
I have never experienced anything like it. It’s like Gutter is sucking the life out of me through my core. I wanted to finish what I started earlier, but I couldn’t stay upright on my shaky legs. I didn’t expect him to go down on me again.
When he freaked, I felt the moment I was losing him. My thoughts scrambled for a way to bring him back. I knew we could do this, please each other and slay our demons. All we had to do was try.
I just wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t expect Gutter to make love to me. It may be a little rough as he holds me to him and rocks into me hard and deep, but he’s making love to me. That’s the only way I can describe this.
I pull my legs back and open wider for him. He moans and cups one of my ass cheeks in his huge palm. His warm hand sends a shock of electricity through me. I look deep into his eyes and nearly fall apart. I never thought I would experience this or would even want to.
So much has changed in such a short amount of time. I know we said we would take things slow, but I know neither of us would’ve been satisfied with anything less.
“Baby girl, I need you to get there,” he grunts as he squeezes my ass and drags his thick dick through my folds and over my nub. “Give it to me, baby. I’m gonna come.”
“Please,” I whimper, not knowing what I’m begging for.
He loosens his hold on me, reaching between us. He cups one of my breasts and dips his head. Keeping his eyes on me, he latches his lips onto my nipple and sucks. Apparently, one of us knows just what I need.
I come apart. My juices gush around him. Not too long after, two more strokes and he spills into me with a heavy grunt of my name.
We cling to each other as we catch our breath. After a few moments, Gutter cups my face in one hand and searches my eyes. “Thank you, baby,” he murmurs. All he doesn’t say crosses his face and passes through his eyes.