Anastasia by A. Marie

Anastasia

Ifound myself trying hard to be with Mr. Romano as much as I could. It was getting pretty obvious how much I liked him, even though it wasn’t the most logical thing in the world to feel that way.

In the past couple of weeks, he always seemed to be gone. He even stopped talking to me as much. I had to teach my heart that I didn’t need the presence of anyone to be happy. Even if that presence was a six-foot-three, black-haired, sexy Italian with delicious abs who knew how to keep me on my toes.

One time, I recalled seeing him walk down the hall with a woman beside him. She had blonde hair and was very tall. Her legs seemed to last forever, and it made me gaze down at my own short legs. The woman was very slim, while my body had some weight in areas. She had a smile to die for, but I could only offer a frown. The woman was gorgeous, but I was far from it.

After that day, I realized that nothing would ever happen between me and Valentino. I learned to avoid him as much as I could. It was easy because he seemed to avoid me too.

Once I let him out of my thoughts, I began to spend most of my time at the strip club, trying to make as much money as possible to be able to move out. My homelessness was probably enough to turn Valentino’s interest away. It was the only explanation that made sense.

“Hey, Janice,” I said softly as I walked up to her. She was sitting at her station, applying the finishing touches to her white eyeliner.

She looked at me through the mirror and let out a sigh. My shoulders fell in guilt as I watched her lightly set the eyeliner down onto her table.

“I never actually apologized for the way I acted that night. I was just hurt, and what I did felt like the only way to solve everything…I was wrong,” I apologized.

She spun around in her chair to face me. A small smile danced on her lips. “I know, and I was only going to give you the petty silent treatment until you actually grew the balls to come to talk to me.” She chuckled. “Listen, I never lost someone as close to me as you were to your little sister. If I did, I’m sure I would’ve acted out in more ways than you did. I’m only looking out for what’s best for you because I see you, and I see someone who’s lost, but once they’re found, the world better prepare for the amount of shit they can do.”

I smiled at her words before pulling her in for a hug. She immediately responded by laughing as she wrapped her arms around me.

Once I pulled away, I walked over to the job schedule to see that I was going to be on the floor today while Janice would take the stage. I hated being on the floor, where I had to keep the people who weren’t watching the show entertained. Sometimes, that meant lap dances, other times, that meant private dances.

“Looks like you’re the star of the night.” I winked at her.

“Yeah, yeah.” She playfully rolled her eyes.

Together, we exited the back room, ready to do what we had to do. When we got to the entrance of the stage, we bid our goodbyes before separating. I walked out to the floor with a loud sigh. The bright LED lights were blinding and everyone’s loud conversations became more prominent.

As soon as the music started and Janice stepped out, men were on their feet, throwing their money at her without giving her the chance to do anything. She wasn’t lying when she said that the men loved her.

I headed over to the back, where the secluded people sat in groups. The moment I got there, my heart dropped down to my feet. My sister’s doctor was there, laughing with his friends, a drink perched in his hand. I didn’t know if I should run or hide, but the options quickly flew out the window when his friend pointed toward me with a smirk.

When the doctor’s eyes met mine, his eyes widened as he took in my appearance.

I hurriedly turned around and began to walk away, but he was too quick. His hand hurriedly latched onto my wrist gently.

“Anastasia?”

“Shit,” I whispered very quietly to myself.

Slowly, I turned around, allowing my embarrassment to be clear on my expression. Recognition immediately made its way onto his face as he looked down my entire body. I understood the temptation in his eyes. My extra small top did a great job of squeezing my breasts to the point that it allowed underboob to make an appearance under the bra. My bottoms were a simple leather thong and the pink boots that were my trademark look only added to the erotic appeal.

“Dr. Flores,” I returned.

My gaze wandered over to the group of friends he was with. They seemed to all have been smirking at us.

“Uh, yeah,” he muttered, looking over at his friends before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m here for a bachelor party. I didn’t know you worked here. How are you?”

“I’m sorry, but I have to go, okay?” I muttered softly before attempting to turn away from him again, but he wouldn’t let go of my wrist. “What do you want from me, a dance or something? I said I gotta go!”

Harshly, I snatched my wrist from his hold. I could tell that he was taken aback by my words, but he nodded his head in understanding. I did feel bad, but the last thing I wanted was anyone judging me. Especially someone who knew Alexandria, and who knew she would never support what I was doing.

I quickly walked off, trying to hold back my tears. In a battle of crying my heart out or continue working as if nothing was happening, my tears were on the verge of winning.

Abruptly, I bumped into a very familiar Italian. His scent hugged me, whispering in my ear that everything would be okay. “Who was that, Bambolina?”

“Who?” I asked, playing dumb before speedily walking right past him. I knew he was following me, but I no longer cared. My body wanted him near me at all times, but my logic was fully aware that he had been avoiding me. It hurt knowing that he wasn’t there when I needed him most.

“You know who,” he seethed.

I turned around to face him, glaring with narrowed eyes. “A client. Just like there are clients everywhere in this club. I’m not sure if you’ve forgotten, but I do work at a strip club.”

He was looking at me with doubt clear in his expression, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about his toxicity. I had just seen him with a woman, followed by another one. He had no right to judge me.

“You know better than to―”

“To what? What are you going to do, Mr. Romano? I am one hundred percent sure that nothing you could ever say or do would make me feel any worse than what I feel right now!” I retorted, choking back a sob.

Storming past him, I walked right into the girls’ restroom, a place where I knew I was free from everyone.

The moment I saw my eyes in the mirror, I almost broke down. I couldn’t shake the feeling as if I were suffocating. It was like my lungs were screaming for air, but no matter how hard I tried to fight—water surrounded me.

A sob ripped out of my throat, followed by another until I found myself just breaking down. I couldn’t stand feeling this unfathomable pain, but it was the only way my heart seemed to know how to survive. My heart hurt, and there was no escaping that. No alcohol, no boy, no person could ever heal me in the way Alex could.

“I should be ashamed of myself,” I whispered pathetically.

Careful not to ruin my makeup, I used the pad of my fingertips to wipe away the mascara running down my cheeks. I had to take many calming breaths to rid myself of the need to cry again.

Suddenly, my phone began to ring out of nowhere, leaving me to jump in fright. I quickly unzipped my boot and pulled my cell phone out. Just before pressing accept, I made sure that I had sobered up all my tears before putting my phone against my ear.

“Nana,” my mum cried into the phone.

Running a hand through my hair, I already knew what was going to happen. She was preparing to tell me that she needed money because of some made-up excuse.

“What?” I huffed out.

A sniffle escaped me before I had a chance to stop it, but of course, she didn’t even notice. Even if she did notice it, she didn’t bother mentioning it because she didn’t want the conversation straying away from her.

“I need help,” she sobbed.

My brows pulled together at the desperation in her voice. She’d never sounded so panicked before and it left me worried.

“What? Where are you?” I asked.

I quickly walked out of the restroom before making my way toward the back, where I grabbed my keys and slid on a pair of sweatpants as she told me where to find her. I then exited the club and hurriedly made my way to my car, making her promise to stay on the phone. It was bad for me to leave in the middle of my shift, but I knew I couldn’t leave my mother all alone.

I didn’t waste any time―just drove off to find her. She informed me that she was outside a small local pet store that she used to take me and Alex to all of the time. The owner once let us play with the pets while our mother went to do whatever it was that she did. I always had the best memories of that place.

My mum was still crying heavily into the phone while I drove, so I pushed on the gas a little harder.

* * *

A long drive later,I pulled up to the shop and quickly got out. Since my mum didn’t give me any specifics about her location other than she was outside our favorite pet shop, it made it hard to find her. It wasn’t until I saw a woman lying down in a dark alley, strung out, that I knew it was her.

“What the hell happened?” I asked in shock as I kneeled beside her quivering body. Mum turned to face me, but she looked so drained.

“Nana, I missed you so much. I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Please, don’t hate me. You are all I have left,” she sobbed. Pulling her against me, I didn’t know what to say or do. I just cradled her in my arms, attempting to warm her from the freezing weather.

“Can you stand up?” I asked. She nodded her head before grasping my hand. I got her up and assisted her to my car. When she was slumped against the passenger seat with her seatbelt spread across her body, I got into the driver’s side.

“I need help. I’m ready to get help. I’ll do anything to be a better mother for you, okay? I’m fucked up, Anastasia. I thought I could get better when I brought you and Alex here away from your dad, but he is always here!” she exclaimed. I started up my car and spared her a sad glance before driving off toward her apartment.

“You never told me what he did to you,” I said softly. There was a tug on my heart when the entire atmosphere in the car shifted. My mother didn’t respond immediately, almost as if she were taking the time to open permanently sealed doors.

“I went to high school with him. Believe it or not, I was not the type to socialize. My head was always in a book and I learned to be happy with the words I found there,” she reminisced. “I met him one night at a party where he got me drunk, and the last thing I remembered was him dragging me up the steps. When I woke up, he was on top of me.”

My eyes began to water but I shook it away. I never knew she had to go through so much. It pained me to know that she was living with such trauma and I never had a single clue. How could I have been so blind?

“The next day at school, he pretended as if he hadn’t done a thing. I tried to tell my mom, but she wouldn’t believe me. When I got pregnant, she thought I wasn’t worthy of being her daughter. She kicked me out and I had to go from empty house to empty house all on my own,” she sniffled. “Years later, I met Alex’s dad and he was everything I wanted. He was so kind, and he treated me better than anyone I had ever met. I don’t know what happened, but one night, he just left.”

Tears dripped down my cheeks, but I continued to drive. Just like life, I had to fight through the tears so I could make it home.