Anastasia by A. Marie

Anastasia

“Good morning!” I chirped. “I made you some breakfast.”

I was carrying a tray full of food that I had prepared for my mother. It was finally the day everything would change in a positive way for once. My mother had finally accepted that she needed help. That was the first step to recovery, and today would be the next since she would officially be going to rehab.

Her eyes were still shut, and the blanket was slightly pulled down, resting at her waist. Sitting the tray of food down on the nightstand, I began to shake her until her body began to shake wildly of its own accord.

“Mum!” I shouted frightenedly.

She just wouldn’t stop and I quickly realized that she was having a seizure. After moving her onto her side, I grabbed my phone and frantically dialed 911. My hands were shaking as I spoke to the operator. The lady was speaking but it sounded like gibberish as I I was trying my best not to panic because I knew she needed me to be strong. As we waited for an ambulance to arrive, my mother’s seizure finally stopped. She still remained unresponsive, and her heartbeat was faint. I held her against my chest, rocking her back and forth, hoping she wouldn’t die on me.

Moments later, the ambulance arrived. They must’ve only taken minutes, but to me, it felt like hours. Every minute that they took, my mother’s heartbeat grew weaker. They quickly placed my mum’s almost lifeless body onto a stretcher before rolling her into the truck. I tried hard to bite back my tears; I prayed to whoever would listen that my mother was okay.

I couldn’t lose her too. I would be without anyone in the world, and I just couldn’t let that be. I’d rather have a mother who behaved like a child than a world full of darkness and no one to hold my hand through it all.

I followed closely behind the ambulance all the way to the same hospital where I shared my last moments with my sister.

“Hi, I’m here for Olivia Smith,” I immediately said, walking up to the receptionist’s desk.

She made me write down my name before telling me to wait in the seating area. Smiling at her, I turned and sat down in a chair. I was tapping my foot against the tile flooring as I patiently waited.

When I came to the realization that it was the same chair I had sat in while they gave me the news of Alex’s passing, I shook my head and moved to the seat across.

Moments later, Dr. Flores walked in with a nurse, who was writing things down. His eyes met mine and then he went to tell her something before she nodded her head and walked off. I was praying to whoever would listen that he would just walk away.

Of course, with my terrible luck, he sat down in the chair right beside me instead. My cheeks were a tint of pink as I nervously glanced over at him.

“Anastasia, what brings you here?” he asked.

I turned to look at him and exhaled a long breath that I didn’t know I was holding. The whole situation was awkward. He was acting as if he hadn’t just practically seen me naked at the strip club.

“My mum had a seizure,” I answered honestly.

He nodded his head slowly before a sad look made its way onto his face. I was sure that in his head, he was thinking about how fucked up my life must’ve been.

“Don’t judge me, okay? I don’t need your pity for my stripping, my sister, or my mother. I’m fine,” I said, running my hand through my hair and crossing one leg over the other.

He didn’t say anything, which took me by surprise. When I glanced over at him, he was just looking up at the television broadcasting the news channel.

“That’s where you’re wrong. I only pity you for the fact that you pity yourself. I’d have to say you are the strongest woman I’ve ever met, yet you’re here with your head held down as if the strongest warriors don’t face the biggest challenges,” he said.

I couldn’t say anything as I just stared at him. He seemed like such a great man, but I had been so cruel to him at the club.

“Let me go check on your mother, and I’ll let you know what her doctor says. What’s her name?”

A wave of relief flowed through me. Finally, he turned to face me, leaving me to blush for having been caught staring at him. I quickly turned away and faced the television with a blush coating my cheeks.

“Olivia. Olivia Smith,” I answered.

He nodded his head with a breathtaking smile on his face. “All right, I’ll be right back.”

I studied him as he pushed past the doors to the medical section. Every woman’s eyes seemed to follow him when he left. He was the pretty kind of guy but just didn’t know it.

* * *

“Anastasia,”Dr. Flores called out as he gently began to shake me awake. “Wake up.”

I could feel my eyelids pulling apart, only for Dr. Flores to enter my sight. His facial expression was what struck my heart in the same way it did when I heard about Alex. I shot up from my seat and gazed at him behind wide eyes, praying that he wasn’t going to deliver any more bad news. The last time I fell asleep and was abruptly awoken was the day I lost Alex.

He sighed. “Did you know she uses drugs?”

“Why?” I questioned, suddenly growing defensive.

He let out a huff of air before continuing. “She overdosed. Her doctor, Dr. Reynolds, predicted it was sometime between seven and nine this morning. There was a high dosage of cocaine in her system.”

My mother succeeded once again, manipulating me into lowering my defenses for her. She always came through in the end, proving why I shouldn’t trust her. I bet she just needed a ride home, and she used me as a pawn with all her lies and sob stories.

“Is she alive? Is she okay?” I pleaded, hating myself for how much I even cared.

“I’m not sure, I wasn’t allowed to see her. He was in a rush, but all he said was that she had high dosage of cocaine in her system,” he explained.

I was trying my best not to break down again. Tears were something that became part of my everyday ritual. I was so tired of crying my eyes out.

“This is the challenge, huh? How many more challenges do I have to go through just to be left alone? Why do I have to be the strong one?” I protested. “She should be the strong one! She is my mother!”

I didn’t bother to wait for a reaction. Everyone in that hospital probably thought I was insane, and maybe I was. So, I got up and walked out of the hospital, ready to just disappear like my mother had done many times.

When I arrived at my car, I was grabbed by the wrist. Tension enveloped my body, but it was quick to ease when I saw it was Dr. Flores. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay? Look, none of this is fair, and I know that. Think about Alexandria, and what she would want you to do. I truly mean it when I say I see a lot of strength in you, Anastasia.”

I didn’t know what to say or do. I knew he was right about everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge that. I knew Alex would want me to stay and feed into my mother’s lies, but I couldn’t. I was suffocating, and I wanted to go somewhere that would allow me to breathe.

So, just like that, I turned around and got into my car. I didn’t bother to spare him a single glance as I took off.

I continued to drive until I made it to the mansion, where I practically ran into the house, ignoring Sarah, who looked worried at my appearance. There was no one I wanted to hear from. She seemed to pick up on the fact that I didn’t want to talk because she didn’t say a word as I made my way to my room.

There was nothing in the world that I hated more than the thought of being alone. It was my biggest fear, one that lodged itself into my every thought. I was weak. Dr. Flores could lie and say there was strength in me, but he was wrong. He wasn’t aware of the many times I cried myself to sleep. That man had no clue how many memories would surface in my brain of the loving family I once had before everything fell apart. Dr. Flores didn’t know me well enough to assume there was even the slightest bit of strength in me when my strength relied on the people I loved. Those same people either died, or they were destroying me.

A sob burst out of me as my shoulders moved to accommodate every sharp inhale. It confused me to say that I hated my mum to the point that I couldn’t hate her at all. I wanted her to be okay just as much as I craved for her to suffer just like she had been forcing me to do for many years.

“Anastasia?” Mr. Romano’s voice asked as he carefully entered my room. I didn’t even realize he was home, but there he was, Valentino Romano. I gazed up into his beautiful blue eyes, forgetting about the tears still rolling down my cheek.

He grabbed onto my hands and pulled me into his chest. When he pressed his soft lips to the top of my head, I could just feel myself shutting my eyes. I didn’t say anything, he just held me. I found myself crying in his arms as he ran his hand through my hair.

“What tore my Bambolinaapart?” he asked, sounding deeply concerned. His words only seemed to make me cry harder. I didn’t know if he actually cared, or if he was just asking to be considerate. All I knew was that with his arms around me, I’d never felt more secure.

Valentino patiently waited for me to stop crying. I was grateful for his patience. He just continued to stroke my hair while his other hand moved up and down my back. Valentino was comforting me in a way that I never wanted to let go.

“I lost my baby sister to cancer not too long ago,” I tested, pausing to see if Valentino would stop me, or tell me that he didn’t care about my life. When he didn’t say a word, I continued. “I thought that it would change my mum for the better, but it didn’t. She’s still the same woman who ruined my life, and now she’s in the hospital, and I can’t stop caring even though I know she never even bothered to think about Alex.”

Moments passed. Valentino never stopped his hand that moved against my back, and I was grateful for that.

“I know what it feels like to lose a mother and a sister,” he said softly. My brows pulled together as I gazed at him. There was an extra thump to my heart at the sound of him finally opening up to me.

“What happened?” I asked, needing to know more about him

He let out a loud sigh, his eyes going blank as if he were thinking about a distant memory. Just when I thought he was going to share a piece of his heart that he kept locked away, he shook his head and gazed out in the distance. “Doesn’t matter. I was young when I realized that happiness only belonged in fairytales.”

“I guess so,” I whispered, disappointed, allowing my hand to fall from his grasp. He was never going to open up to me. .

He cleared his throat. “I will be gone for a few weeks. I wanted to stop by and let you know. See you soon, Bambolina.”

“See you soon.” I smiled even though my heart called for him to stay.