Not His Omega To Love by GS Holmes
24Ethan
All day at work,I’d watched the clock for the time to arrive for me to leave. That had never happened before, and the asshole that Sal was, he kept ribbing me about it. By the time I finally pulled out of the parking lot, I was sorry I’d confided in him that Cody and I were fully bonded. He’d confessed he’d suspected the direction we were going anyway and had told Cody not to wait on me to make the first move.
For that, I owed him. He’d been right. No way in hell would I have made my feelings known to Cody first.
The fact that Reggie’s car wasn’t parked in the driveway, or the garage filled me with joy. Not a second later, guilt gnawed at me. I’d shifted so much of my focus from Reggie to Cody since Cody came to live with us. We hadn’t gone out or done anything together in a while, and I needed to change that. He didn’t stop being my son because Cody came into my life, and even though as a young adult male, he preferred spending most of his time with his friends, some nights we would catch a movie together or watch a game.
As soon as I stepped through the front door, the sweet aroma of food hit me. Cody was cooking. I stank, and my hands could use a good scrub to remove the oil from under my fingernails, but I made a beeline for the kitchen.
He was wearing a green tank top that draped over his cute belly and stretchy tights. He glanced up from whatever sauce he was making.
“You’re home!”
“Yeah, I need a shower and—”
He left the spoon in the pot, rushed over to me, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I thought nothing of it until he placed his head on my chest, his shoulders shaking.
“Hey, you okay? What’s wrong?”
He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s nothing. I just needed that all day.”
“Did something happen?”
“I-it’s nothing.” His nothing ended on a sob. Alarmed, I took him over to the chair I’d placed in the kitchen since he’d complained about the stools being too high for him. I sat and pulled him down onto my lap.
“Now don’t lie to me. I need to know what’s made you upset?”
He sniffled. “It’s okay. Reggie handled it.”
“Reggie? What’d he do?”
He shook his head. “Nothing wrong. He was great. Stopped his friends from bullying me.”
“You were being bullied?”
“They were terribly mean, said some awful things about me sleeping with both you and Reggie, so he got upset and told them to knock it off.”
“Did you report it?” Heat surged through me. I wanted to find those responsible for making him cry and knock their heads together.
“I didn’t, although Piper said I should have. But I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble when graduation is so close.”
“I don’t care, Cody. The school doesn’t allow bullying, and if you’re being bullied, it needs to be reported.”
“It’s okay. I don’t think they’ll bother me anymore. Reggie was great.”
I tucked him under my chin and kissed the top of his head. I hated seeing him crying. Reggie had dealt with it today. Had Reggie changed his mind about Cody and the baby? Did that mean Cody didn’t need me anymore?
Cody wiped at his eyes with his fists. “You smell musky.”
I groaned. “I was helping out with truck maintenance today. Spent a lot of time out in the sun with my hands full of grease.”
“No, don’t apologize. I like it.”
I sighed. Where to go from here?
“I shouldn’t have told you,” he said. “Now you’re upset.”
“Not upset. I feel helpless that I can’t do anything about other kids picking on you. If they were adults, I’d know what to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything.”
I boosted him out of my lap gently. “I know because Reggie took care of it. I should go up and take a shower.”
“Ethan?”
Keep walking. Don’t look back.
“Yes?” I turned to him.
“What’s wrong? Something’s wrong.”
Trust and honesty. Those two things were important in a relationship, right? But how could I tell him what was wrong without sounding like a jealous ass? How pathetic was I to be jealous of my own son?
“Please tell me.”
“You said Reggie interfered.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “But he’s never been really supportive before. It makes me wonder, that’s all.”
“Wonder what?”
“Whether he changed his mind about you and wants to be with you and the baby after all.”
“What? That’s crazy.”
“It’s not so crazy when you think about it, and you two would suit better than you and me.”
He hurried over to me and took my left hand in his. “I don’t think Reggie has changed his mind. He said he intervened because I was now family. Because I’m married to you. He has no feelings for me, and neither do I have any for him. Besides, it hardly matters if he does because I’m completely in love with you. You’re the one I want to be with.”
“So, if he wanted the baby and you, you would still choose me?”
“Of course. Did you miss the part where I didn’t like kissing him?” He slid his hands up to my chest. “Now kiss me, why don’t you? Or have you forgotten how much I do love kissing you?”
“If we keep this up, one day we’re going to get caught.” But I kissed him, cupping the small of his back. I couldn’t resist running my hands down his ass and squeezing. We’d had sex every single day since we bonded, and I still wanted him something awful.
“Are you convinced yet?” he asked. “Or do I have to take you upstairs and show you how into you I am?”
Before I could answer, a car pulled into the driveway. Reggie was home. I squeezed his hand and released it. “I think we should tell him now. I get it that we want the perfect graduation for you two, but I don’t like lying to him, and I want to be able to kiss you and touch you whenever I want.”
“Maybe you’re right. Do we do it now or over dinner?”
“I was thinking that I should talk to him alone about it. If that’s okay with you?”
“Of course. I understand.”
“Good.” I pecked him on his lips, and he returned to the stove, muttering about being distracted.
The front door opened, and footsteps echoed in the hall. Reggie paused at the entrance of the kitchen and eyed me.
“Dad, you’re home early.”
“Cody made dinner.” Did that answer the question? “I mean, I wanted us to have a family dinner together.”
“Sorry, can’t. Going out.”
He backed out and headed for the stairs.
“Good luck,” Cody said. “I’m nervous for you.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
I wasn’t sure at all, but reassuring Cody was important. I went after Reggie, taking the stairs two at a time. The door was open. Still, I rapped on the doorframe.
“Reggie, can I come in?”
“Sure, Dad, but I’m not hanging around for long.”
“That’s fine.” I stepped into his bedroom. His bed was made. His bedroom was the neatest it had been since he moved in.
“Is this about what happened to Cody at school?” he asked, pulling his T-shirt over his head. He picked up his deodorant and sprayed way too much under his armpits. “Because it’s cool. They’ll not bother him again.”
“That’s a part of it.” I closed the door behind me. “Thanks for sticking up for him. I know with peer pressure and them being your friends, it couldn’t have been an easy decision for you to make.”
He shook his head. “You must think I’m an asshole, don’t you?”
“Of course not.”
He snorted. “Doesn’t seem like it.”
“I don’t, but, Reggie, you have to admit you haven’t been making the best decisions lately. I’ve come not to expect much from you, but maybe that’s my fault. That I should’ve had higher expectations.”
“Or maybe I would’ve disappointed you had you set those higher expectations?”
I pulled his chair from around his computer desk and sat, then pointed at his bed. “Sit.”
“I told you I’m going out.”
“Not until we have this overdue conversation. Sit down, Reggie. Nobody is leaving this room until we figure out what the hell went wrong between us.”
“You have to ask,” he scoffed but plopped down on the bed. “We were fine until I messed this up by getting Cody pregnant.”
“Come on. You don’t believe that. We weren’t fine long before Cody. I worked a lot, took projects out of state, and left you on your own too often.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I’m a kid. I can take care of myself.”
“It doesn’t matter. You love to act as if you’re tough, but you still need a parent. You haven’t figured it all out. Hell, I’d be glad if my parents were still alive. I’d talk to them all the time, even when I was married to your dad.”
“This year was just an epic clusterfuck.” He jumped to his feet, his hands in tight fists. “I’ve barely scraped by enough grades to graduate. Cody gets all the top grades as usual. I’m having second thoughts about that football scholarship. What if I can’t be the player they expect me to be? What if I disappoint the team the way I disappoint you?”
“You think you’re a disappointment to me?”
“Aren’t I?”
“The hell you are.” I got up and grabbed him by the shoulders. “I’m damn proud of you. So, what if you don’t have the same aptitude for studying as Cody does? You’re two different people, and I’d never compare you to him. You lived two different childhoods. You’ve had to deal with divorce, not to mention moving twice. Sure, you made some bad decisions I’m disappointed about, but I’m not disappointed in you, son. Besides, you’re a damn good footballer, and the college will be lucky to have you on their team.”
He bowed his head, and I clasped him to me in a hug. At first, he resisted, but then his whole body lost its tension, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, his head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry about the whole Cody situation.” His voice was muffled against my shirt. “I know I haven’t treated him the best since he’s been here, and I promise I’ll do better.”
His words were acidic to my stomach. “You’ve changed your mind about him and the baby?”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t want to be a father, but I still don’t have the right to treat Cody like he’s wrong for wanting to keep the baby.”
I dropped my arms from around him. “That’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
“What?” He rubbed at his nose.
“I want to legally adopt Cody’s baby as mine.”
He furrowed his brows. “Why would you want to do that? Isn’t it bad enough that you had to marry him to make things easier for him? That’s asking too much of you.”
“Nobody is asking me to do it. I want to do it.”
“But why would…” He stared at me, his face pale. “You and Cody? Are you for real?”
“Yes, we’ve grown close since he’s been living here, and we want to make our relationship long term,” I answered, holding his gaze. “It wasn’t the original plan, but it’s what we both want.”
“You mean you like him or something?”
“I love him.” I’d thought it would sound awkward to admit that to him, but the words rolled off my tongue so easily. “I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of him and that baby. I want to be his security and his comfort. We haven’t talked about this yet, but I just might want to have more babies with him one day. We’re fully bonded.”
He sat back down heavily on the bed. “I should’ve known. That explains a whole lot. How long have you and he been getting it on?”
“Just on our honeymoon. There was nothing even the slightest bit going on before that point.”
“And this is what you want? To be with him? And he with you? He’s so young, and you’re old. Like his dad’s age or something.”
I chuckled. If that was his only complaint, this was going better than I thought it would have. “We make it work. Cody and I are fine romantically, but how do you feel about all this?”
“It’s going to be a little weird. Today one of the guys called him my stepdad, but I didn’t really think anything of it because I knew you’d be divorced, and you didn’t bond for the reasons they thought, but now you really are.”
“I doubt Cody’s interested in parenting you, Reggie.”
“Of course not. He’s my age.” He scowled at me. “So, I guess I’m having another little brother or sister?”
The hard part. “I hope that won’t be a problem for you.”
“Why should it be?”
“Because this baby will be a part of your life now, even though you’ll sign away your parental rights.”
He shrugged. “That’s fine by me. I don’t mind a brother or a sister. That might even be cool, but I don’t want to be a father to a kid. I mean, it might be my sperm, but that’s not what makes a father, right?” He grinned at me. “You can count it as a free donation.”
The little shit. “Get out of here with that. But seriously, it doesn’t bother you?”
“Seriously, it doesn’t. How is it any different if Cody had decided that he’d give the baby up to another family for adoption? He wouldn’t still be the father, would he? Just a carrier.”
“And you’re sure?”
“I’m positive, Dad.” He made a face. “I’m more worried about seeing Cody and thinking about what you two are doing than this baby. Oh god, I don’t want to think about that. Though he’s hot in bed.”
I pinned him with a glare. “We’re not talking about that. Ever.”
“I’m just joking anyway. Well, not about him being hot in bed, but—”
“Reggie,” I gritted through clenched teeth. “So help me if you don’t stop bringing that up.”
“Okay, I’ll stop, but you deserve to be a little uncomfortable too. I can’t be the only awkward one in this.”
“That’s fair enough. So, we’re good?”
He nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.”
“One more thing.”
“Geez, you have a lot of demands today, Dad.”
“Don’t be a wiseass. It would mean a lot to Cody and me if you have dinner with us tonight.”
“Are you going to make me?”
“I can’t make you, but I’d like it if you do.”
He sighed. “Fine.”
“Maybe a movie after?”
“Don’t push it.”
I chuckled and stepped back toward the door to give Cody the good news. “Fine, dinner for now. I’ll find out at what time dinner will be ready. And thanks for not freaking out about this.”