Where We Found Our Home by Natasha Bishop

 

Ciara

What is wrong with me?

I’m about to come out of my skin with want. This war between my head and my heart is about to split me in half, and I don’t think I’ll survive the aftermath.

I’m about to force my legs to carry me through my routine when there’s a knock on my door.

Is he…?

I stop to check the peephole because I will never blindly open a door again, and there he is. He’s too gorgeous for his own good. I want to rip his shirt off and lick each one of his abs.

“I can hear your heart pounding, Angel.” He groans, and I bite my lip at the sound.

I open the door, and he’s standing with both arms up against my doorway, eyes staring into my soul.

“Lincoln.”

“Question time. Don’t think, just answer.”

I nod.

“Am I crazy? For feeling this heat between us?” he rasps.

“No.” I waste no time answering. He looks up at me with a look that flays me wide open. It’s a look of danger and unbridled passion, but also a look of relief. I’ve made him doubt that I want him as much as he wants me. I shouldn’t feel bad about that since it was my plan all along, but I do. I want him—no, I need him—more than I need my next breath, and I feel like shit that I’ve made him feel like he’s alone in this.

“Do you want me to kiss you, Ciara?”

“Yes.” The word has been out of my mouth for half a second before his lips crash into mine. There’s nothing gentle about this kiss. It’s almost punishing, and it’s gloriously painful. He traces his tongue against my bottom lip, and I immediately open for him. I’m matching his intensity stroke for stroke, we’re taking turns giving and taking control, and I swear I could come right here from this kiss alone. I bite his bottom lip, and he groans before pulling away.

“Tell me no, Angel. Tell me to stop, and I’ll leave right now. We can forget it ever happened or we can slow it down. But if you tell me yes—if you tell me you want me—I’m going to carry you to your bedroom and worship your body from head to toe until you scream my name and then I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you, you’ll still feel me there tomorrow.”

Did I say I almost came from that kiss? No, it was right now. This moment.

I’m not strong enough to deny this heat anymore. I want to get lost in him.

“Don’t stop, Linc. I want you.”

He growls, and next thing I know my legs are wrapped around his waist and he’s carrying me through my living room, never taking his lips off of mine.

The locks. He sucks on my neck.

The end table. He squeezes my ass.

The knife. He runs his hand through my hair.

The room checks. He nibbles on my ear.

My head is too loud, and I can’t ignore the pounding in my chest anymore. My breath catches, and Lincoln pulls away from me, eyes wide with concern.

“Ciara? Are you okay?” He slowly lowers me down, and the feel of my body sliding down his has me cursing myself for my paranoia.

“I’m sorry, it’s not you. I just…have these security checks I do for myself every time I come home, and I didn’t get to do them yet. I tried to ignore it because I want you so badly, but I’m kind of freaking out, honestly.” I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud. I look away from him, not wanting to see the confusion and pity that I’m sure will be in his eyes. He doesn’t give me a chance, though, before he lifts his finger beneath my chin and tips my head up to meet his gaze.

His eyes soften but it’s with adoration, not pity. He grabs my hand. “Show me.”

“What?”

“Show me the routine. I’ll do it with you.”

“You’re serious?”

He glares at me like he can’t believe I would ask him such a thing. “Angel. Nothing is more important to me than your safety. If you need this to feel comfortable, let me give it to you. I wanna be the only thought on your brain when I sink inside you.”

This man.

He never lets my hand go as I walk him through my routine of double-checking both locks on the door, sliding the end table in front of the door, grabbing the chef’s knife from the kitchen, and checking every room and door for anything out of order. I don’t even feel self-conscious doing it. I feel…safe. Lincoln makes me feel safe. And cherished. He doesn’t even ask to take the knife from me. I think he senses that I need the control.

“That’s it.”

“Okay. How do you feel?”

Like I might die if you don’t fuck me. Soon. “Good. Really good.” He smiles, and the heat is right back in his gaze. “Do you want to ask me about that?” I absolutely do not want to talk about it. What I want is for him to fuck me senseless until I forget any of that just happened, but if he wants to ask I won’t shy away from it. I owe him that much.

“Do you want to tell me about that?”

Never, but definitely not tonight. Talk about a mood killer. “Not tonight.”

“Then I don’t want to ask tonight. When you’re ready.” Relief washes through me at his statement. I need his hands on me.

“Linc?”

“Yeah, Ci?”

“Take me to bed.”

“Thank fuck.”

His lips crash against mine again, and he carries me the final feet to my bedroom, tossing me onto the bed. He rips his shirt over his head and peels my shirt off of me in seconds. I unclasp my bra, and he immediately takes a nipple in his mouth. He’s licking and sucking with so much intensity while massaging and pinching the other one. I moan right in his ear.

He unbuckles my pants and slides them down my legs, then takes a pause to admire my near naked body.

“Fuck, you are gorgeous.”

I squirm under his appreciation. I’ve never been shy about my body, but I haven’t been with anyone since my life turned upside down. No one has seen the raised scar on my torso up close. No one has touched the scarring beneath my tattoos in such an intimate way. I’m completely exposed to him, and he looks like he’s just unwrapped an amazing gift. Fuck, it feels good to be wanted like this. I needed this reminder that I am more than what that asshole did to me. “Lincoln, please.”

He slides my panties off my ass, and I kick them off, giving him full access. He traces his hands down my body before sliding a finger into my heat, and my back arches off of the bed.

“So beautiful. You’re so wet already.”

He removes his finger, and I mourn the loss. He crawls up the bed toward my headboard and lies on his back. “Climb up, Angel.”

Wait, what?

“Umm, what?”

“I need to taste you. Come here.”

“You want me to…sit on your face?”

He chuckles. This is not a laughing matter, sir. “Yes.”

“Have you seen my thighs? I’m not exactly light.” My thighs are the product of good eating and strength training. I’ve always been strong because I rock climb for fun, but after everything happened to me I dove into self-defense training too. To strengthen my mind and my body. I also have a very passionate relationship with food, so my thighs, though they are strong, they are not light. Not in the slightest.

“Believe me, Ci. I’ve seen your thighs, and there’s nothing I want more than to have them on both sides of my ears.”

“I might suffocate you!”

He sticks his tongue out to wet his bottom lip. His eyes are locked onto said thighs for a long, torturous moment before he looks up and pins me with his unwavering stare. “If I die between your thighs, I’d die a happy man. Put it on my headstone: he died worshipping a goddess.”

Well, when you put it like that. I climb up his body and settle my thighs on either side of his ears.

“Grab the headboard,” he orders.

I do as he says right as he puts his hands under my ass and slides his tongue between my folds.

“Oh, shit,” I cry out. He laps at me like a starving man, sending shivers up my spine. My hips start moving on their own, riding his tongue like it’s my job. His tongue dives so deep I feel like I’m floating. He squeezes my ass and presses a finger against my hole as he sucks on my clit, and a deep guttural moan escapes my body. I never thought that would be something I’d be into, but he’s driving me crazy in the best way. I arch myself harder against his finger. He rewards me with even more pressure. I never knew it could be like this. I’m far from inexperienced, but he’s manipulating my body in delicious ways. He’s reading my body like a book and giving me what I need before I even know what that is. I’m gripping the headboard so hard, my knuckles have turned white. I’m pretty sure I’m about to crush his skull between my thighs with how hard I’m squeezing, but that only seems to spur him to suck harder so I can’t bring myself to care.

“Fuck!” I scream, and suddenly I’m in the air. In a split second I’ve gone from on my knees to flat on my back with Lincoln towering above me. I knew he could toss me around.

“You taste better than I imagined. I need more. I want you to rain down on my tongue.” He lifts my legs over his shoulders and brings his mouth right back to my clit. He slips two fingers inside me along with his tongue. My back arches, and my hands fly into his hair. I leave one hand in his hair and trace the other one up to my puckered nipple. I’m biting my lip so hard I think I draw blood.

“Come for me, Ciara.” This is not a request. This is a demand by a man on a mission, and my soul wants to give him his every desire. To deliver to him his every desire on a silver platter created from my own body. I come with his name on my lips. He peppers kisses and gentle bites against my thighs as I come down from my orgasm.

I can see his erection pressing against his jeans, and I lick my lips at the thought of finally seeing his shaft.

“I need you inside me. Now,” I pant, reaching for his jeans and flicking the button open.

He pushes his jeans and briefs down his legs, letting his erection spring free, and my eyes bulge out of my head as he tears open the condom he grabbed out of his pocket. My first thought is “that thang is thangin,” and I have to fight to hold back my laugh at that stupid thought because I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate laughter after he whips his dick out. But goddamn…that thang is thangin!

Fuck, I laughed!

He sheaths his third leg in the condom and strokes himself twice as he settles between my thighs. “Something funny, Ci?”

Just trying to figure out how the fuck that thing is fitting inside me. I’m going to have fun finding out though. “Nope, nothing.”

He traces his length through my folds, teasing me. “You sure about that? I like to laugh.”

“Jesus.”

“Nope. Just me, Lincoln.” A laugh bursts from my lips, but it quickly turns into a moan when he traces my folds again. I’m aching for him. I reach for his erection, but he grabs my wrists and pins them above my head. His cock, thick with need, pokes me in the stomach.

“I don’t know if it’s gonna fit,” I pant.

He smiles down at me.

“It’ll fit, baby.” He raises two fingers to my lips, and without a second thought, I suck them into my mouth until he groans. He slips those fingers inside me, and I’m rising high once again. Right before my second orgasm hits, he pulls his fingers out and then slips them into his own mouth. “I just prepped you for it.”

Oh. My. God. I’m basically dripping at this point. “Fuck, Lincoln. Please.”

“Please what? Tell me what you want, Ciara.”

Fuck it. Call me TLC because I ain’t too proud to beg. This commanding side of him has me craving him in ways I never imagined. “Please fuck me!” That’s all it takes. He thrusts home and I see stars. Fucking stars. He stills, giving me a chance to get used to the feel of him.

“Fuck, you feel so good. Your pussy is choking my dick. I love it.” My hips start moving and he springs into action, pulling almost completely out before thrusting in again. Our moans and groans fill the room, and I’m meeting him thrust for thrust. Giving and taking control.

He runs his tongue from the base of my ear down the column of my neck and between the dip of my breasts. Each trace permanently marks me. There should be a study done on the things he can do with that tongue. It’s a work of art, and I’m his canvas. I moan his name when that talented tool circles my nipple before sucking it into his mouth. My arms fly around his neck when he bites down on it. It’s so deliciously painful I need more. I look down to where our bodies are connected, and I’m mesmerized by the sight. That push and pull between us. My body making room for him to fill me completely. When I look back up at him, the heat that I see there sets me on fire. He loves that I love watching.

My nails scratch their way down his back, and his eyes roll in the back of his head. I’m leaving my mark on him too. What’s happening between us right now is more than sex. It’s a possession. We own each other. The marks we’re leaving will fade physically, but we’ve embedded a piece of our souls within each other, and I know already that it can never be undone.

The heels of my feet press into his ass forcing him to go so deep I can’t tell where he ends and I begin. My nails dig into his lower back and an ass cheek, and a low groan rumbles from his chest as he latches his mouth onto my neck. He’s everywhere. I feel him everywhere. My senses are overwhelmed, and I let them drag me under.

He presses his thumb against my clit, and I shatter around him as he swallows my cry with his kiss. He pumps three more times before I feel him let go of his release. “Fuck, Ciara!” He slumps against me but catches himself before his full weight lands on top of me.

He rolls over to the side and pulls me against his chest before laying a sweet kiss on the top of my head.

“Holy. Fucking…”

“Shit.” He finishes my sentence.

“That was amazing. No. Amazing doesn’t do that justice.”

“That was life-changing,” he murmurs on an exhale.

“Exactly.”

He gets up to dispose of the condom, then comes back and pulls me under the covers with him.

Life-changing.

That’s a perfect word for what we just did, because there’s no way we can ever come back from this. And I can only hope that when I tell him about my past he doesn’t regret it.

I wake to find an empty bed. I stretch and smile when I still feel him between my legs. I’m bone tired. There was not a lot of sleeping done last night. I woke Lincoln up with his dick deep down my throat, and he thanked me by flipping me on my stomach and sinking into my heat from behind.

I find the button-down shirt he wore last night and slip it on with nothing else and head out to the kitchen. I lean against the entryway and admire the sight in front of me. He’s scrambling eggs and frying up sausage, and he looks so right in my kitchen. So at home. It feels domestic as fuck, but the thought doesn’t scare me like it did that morning at Sasha’s house. I don’t want to walk through life with everyone at arm’s length. I want to lean into Lincoln and hold each other up.

“Good morning.”

He turns around with a smile, but his eyes darken the minute he sees what I’m wearing.

“Good morning, gorgeous. Come eat breakfast.” I saunter into the kitchen as the bagels pop out of the toaster.

“Can I help with anything?”

He shakes his head, pointing to the chair he’s already pulled out for me. “You can sit that pretty ass down and let me serve you.”

“Oh, you served me plenty last night.”

“And that’s just the beginning.” He slides a plate in front of me and grabs a mug of coffee for each of us before sitting down. I pour a healthy serving of cream and sugar in my coffee, and he wrinkles his nose. “Do you want any coffee with your cream?”

I playfully roll my eyes. “Yes, I like cream and sugar in my coffee because I love myself. I can’t help it that you weren’t hugged enough as a child and started drinking straight bean juice.”

He throws his head back in laughter then plants a soft kiss on my lips. I bite his bottom lip in response, and he growls.

“Fuck, Angel. I was trying to provide us with some sustenance, but I might just eat you for breakfast instead.”

“You’ll hear no complaints from me.” His eyes darken, and he pulls me onto his lap. His eyes widen when his fingers reach my core.

“Where the fuck are your panties?”

“I guess I forgot them,” I tease with a shrug.

Play time is over. He spreads my folds and dives inside, and the laugh that was on the tip of my tongue fades into a deep moan. His fingers curl inside me, and my head tips back in ecstasy. My hips start rocking forward, chasing my release. He takes his other hand and rips open the shirt, exposing my breasts. Buttons fly everywhere. I’m pretty sure one just landed in my coffee, but I couldn’t care less right now.

He pulls me in for a heated kiss, and I can’t help but moan into his mouth.

“Fuck, you’re so responsive,” he breathes out as his lips make their way to my needy breasts. My hips start moving faster as I grab the back of his head and hold it tight against my nipple. He takes my cue and bites down right where I need him. Fuck, why does everything about this man set me on fire?

He looks me in the eyes as his thumb presses against my clit, and my pussy clenches his hand as my eyes slam shut. “Look at me when you come on my hand, Ciara.” Oh my God. I shatter and slouch into his chest. He sucks his fingers into his mouth, and if I wasn’t already spent I’d come again.

Breakfast is a little cold when we get back to it, but it was so worth it.

Hours later I walk into Sasha’s and spot Nina sitting in our usual booth. I’m not even fully seated before I’m accosted. “Oh shit, you and Lincoln fucked!” Nina shouts, and I look around nervously.

“Shit. You wanna shout out more of my business? I don’t think the kids in the back heard you.”

“I mean I can. Oh shit…” She gears up to shout again, and I kick her right in the shin. She doubles over in pain, and I feel no sympathy.

“You definitely have the ‘thoroughly fucked’ glow going on.” Sasha smirks as she slides my caramel brulee macchiato in front of me.

“Isn’t this weird to talk about considering he’s your brother?” I ask.

“Oh, I definitely don’t want the nitty-gritty details, but I know he’s not a virgin. And you guys were sucking all the air out of the room with your sexual tension last night, so I’m glad it finally happened.”

“Well, I definitely do want the nitty-gritty details, so you’ll have to tell me at work tonight.”

Just thinking about last night and this morning has a smile threatening to take over my entire face. But if Nina thinks she can dish the heat and not take it, she is sorely mistaken. “Ugh, nosey bitches. Anyway, since I’m not sharing details right now, let’s talk about another Cole brother, shall we? You and Isaiah seemed to be having a heated discussion last night. What was that about?”

Nina’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. “Oh. Nothing.” Mm-hmm. Right.

“Oh shit. Are both of my friends dating my brothers?” Sasha leans forward, ready to pounce on this nugget of tea.

Nina scoffs. “Definitely not. Isaiah and I are not dating and we never will be. He’s cute, and he’s funny, and sure, I’d love to jump his bones, but he doesn’t take shit seriously, and I just don’t have time or patience for games. So no dice.”

“Damn.” Sasha actually looks disappointed at that, and I love her for it. She loves us so much she wants us to be with her brothers for the chance that we’ll eventually become her official family.

Nina’s phone rings, and she answers it right away.

“Hey, Logan, what’s up? … No, I haven’t heard from Mom and Dad, why? What’s wrong?” She lets out a frustrated sigh at his response. “Okay, you okay to pack a bag for you and Jada? … Okay. … No you don’t have to walk, I’ll come get you in a minute. … See you soon. … Love you too.”

She hangs up and lowers her head into her hands. Sasha rubs her back, and I grab her hand.

“Your parents left on another trip?” Sasha asks.

“Apparently. They just forgot to give any of us a heads-up this time. They left a note by the door that Logan didn’t see until he called.”

Poor Logan and Jada. I get that their parents had them later in life and now want to enjoy their retirement years, but Logan and Jada didn’t ask to be born. They shouldn’t have to suffer. And Nina shouldn’t have to take on the responsibility her parents rejected.

I feel a chill down my spine, and my eyes jerk around. I don’t see anyone in the shop looking at me. I look out the window and don’t notice anyone out in the street watching me either.

When will I stop feeling like this?