Gray by Shaw Hart

Five

Gray

No funeral isa happy event but my father’s is especially depressing.

It’s just Nora, Jasper, and I in the pews as the preacher begins the sermon. We’re all dressed in black, the stark white bandages on Jasper’s left side standing out like a sore thumb.

It’s awkward in the small church as the preacher goes on about my dad being in a better place and walking with Jesus now. I don’t know how to tell him that there’s no way in hell my dad made it to Heaven.

It’s an open casket and I was shocked when I saw my dad for the first time in over five years. He had seemed smaller, thinner than I remember. The drugs and alcohol had really aged him in the last few years. I’ll admit, it was strange seeing the monster from my childhood look so, well, human.

Nora holds my hand, her dainty fingers wrapped tight around mine. We haven’t spoken about the way that we spooned all last night. I hadn’t been surprised when I woke up this morning wrapped around her. There was no way that I could resist her soft curves in the same bed as me all night long.

I know that Rosewood doesn’t hold many fond memories for either of us and it means a lot to me that Nora was willing to come back to support me. Driving through town last night had been strange.

Nothing much had really changed. Main Street was still the same old shops, the diner down on Fourth Street is still the popular hangout with the high school kids, and I still wanted nothing to do with any of it.

Nora squeezes my hand and I jolt out of my thoughts. The funeral is over and it’s time for us to head over to the burial. Jasper rode with us this morning so he slides into the back seat and we drive around the block, following the hearse.

We pass by some new nursery, the flowers blooming in so many different colors and I’m surprised to see Evangeline moving some of the flower pots around. When I look in the rearview mirror, I see that Jasper has also caught sight of her.

None of us thought to bring flowers and his headstone seems bare next to the big ones on either side of him. The preacher says a quick prayer and then we watch silently as he’s lowered into the ground.

Nora leans against my side and I can see her watching me, worry clouding her eyes.

“I’m alright. I promise,” I whisper to her and she nods, grabbing my hand in hers once more.

“Did you want a minute?” Jasper asks, nodding toward the casket in the ground and I shake my head.

“Do you?”

“No.”

Just like that, the funeral is over.

My father is dead and I should feel something, but all that’s left is relief. We’ve never had much of a relationship, haven’t spoken in the last five years, and even before then, we rarely talked about anything besides if Jasper had sent the monthly money for rent and food.

“I need to go by the house. See how bad it is,” Jasper says as he tugs at his tie.

“We’ll go with you, but maybe we should change first,” Nora suggests and Jasper nods, taking one last look at the headstone before he turns and walks away.

We follow after him and I tug Nora into my side.

“Thank you,” I whisper and she nods, squeezing me back.

“Anytime.”

We pile back into the rental car and drive back across town to the hotel. It’s still just as dead as it was when we got here last night.

“Meet back down here in twenty?” Jasper asks as we ride up to his floor.

“Sounds good.”

He steps off and we ride up to our floor in silence.

“Did you want to shower or anything?” I ask Nora and she shakes her head.

“No, I just need to get out of these clothes.”

I try to keep my mind off of the image of me helping her do just that. I can’t stop thinking about how soft she was last night, how she had moaned as I pulled her back against me. She had felt so right in my arms and now I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to sleep alone again.

“Me too,” I say, shrugging out of my suit jacket and hanging it back up on the hanger. “I’ll let you use the bathroom first.”

“Thanks.”

Nora heads into the bathroom with some more casual clothes under her arm and I collapse back onto the bed. It still smells like Nora and I take a deep breath, letting my eyes fall shut.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out to see that Rooney has sent another picture of Moose and Marley. He’s been doing this about every hour and calling them proof of life. I think he was nervous about watching them but I didn’t know anyone who would be able to keep up with them as well as Rooney.

“Is this alright?” Nora asks, coming out in a pair of jeans and a plain pink T-shirt.

“Yeah, you look great,” I say honestly, then because I can feel the sexual tension starting to grow in the room, I show her my phone. “Rooney says that the kids are great.”

Nora laughs, smiling as she takes my phone from me. I leave it with her, heading into the bathroom to change out of my suit.

“Where did you want to go for lunch? Jasper just texted to ask,” Nora says through the door and I try to think of restaurants in town.

“Let’s just grab Wendy’s or something,” I suggest.

I have a feeling that neither Nora or I really want to run into anyone from town so fast food seems like the best choice.

“Sounds good,” she says and I tug my shirt over my head.

I head back out to the room. We have one more night to sleep here since I wasn’t sure what Jasper would need help with. I wonder if we can get everything done this afternoon and I can move our flights up.

I’m not sure that I can handle the temptation of sleeping next to Nora again.

“Ready to go?” Nora asks and I nod.

Her jeans are molded to her thighs and ass and I try to look anywhere but at it as we head back to the elevator.

We really need to go home tonight. I know that I won’t be able to resist Nora again.

If I’m honest with myself, I don’t think that I want to.

I’ve been holding myself back from Nora for decades and it’s starting to break through. I’m not sure how much longer I can hide how much I love her.