Chapter 20 ~ Sofie Von Bayern

 

Lukas had gone off to fight with the Tirolers. They were the same ones that Frederick told me would want his crown. They were claiming that their villagers were reliving old feuds, but I guessed differently. I was certain that they were the ones causing the problems. I was sure of it.

Sadly, my husband didn’t listen to my worries. He told me not to worry because he was very capable of taking care of himself.

I had been in a sour mood since he left because I realized that I was being spied on by several people. Some of my ladies were ladies that I had met at Werdenfels. They were the ones who tried to explain to me about why the Lion could never be a good husband.

I wasn’t certain, but I feared that they had guessed about Lukas. I had the feeling that they had wanted my father to hear the rumors and deny the Lion when he asked for my hand. It was a coincidence that Lukas did indeed like to use women roughly.

I pictured myself tied down to the punishment horse with Lukas fucking me. A wave of pleasure flushed through my body, making me wet between my legs as I thought about him tying me down and doing what he wanted with me.

I peeked around the sewing room, wondering if anyone knew what was going through my mind.

There was a crack of thunder outside. It was getting too dark to work on my needlework. The weather was reflecting my mood. It was as cold and gloomy as I was feeling. Summer was over.

I was tired and in a bad mood. I wasn’t certain if I was hungry or if I shouldn’t eat. My stomach was bothering me. Over and over, I told myself not to worry, but I did to the point that my health was starting to suffer.

I thought about what Marcus had said to me when he helped me on my horse the day that I went riding with my husband. He told me that he would help me if I ever needed him to. I assured him that I was fine.

My mind drifted off to what happened later that day. I had made love with my husband in the clearing. I wanted Lukas to come home and enjoy the winter’s rest with me. This was the time that he should be here and be getting me with child. I needed to give him an heir.

The last thing I needed was to be a widow again and not have given my husband an heir before he died. I would have to bend to the will of whatever man would have me.

Another problem was that I seemed to get too attached to my husbands. I had fallen in love with Frederick in the span of a night. With Lukas, it had taken longer, but I had the feeling that I loved him too.

I missed him.

“Your lord husband needs someone he can trust who is living in Tirol. Someone who knows the area and the people,” Lady Adelheid told me.

“Your husband is such a man?” I asked her. She and her husband hadn’t been at my wedding to Frederick because they had joined forces with Lukas, in spite of Frederick being their cousin. “If so, he should approach my husband and tell him that. Men are more apt to listen to other men.”

She nodded at me, but I could tell that she was disappointed. I’d wager that her husband instructed her to fill my ear with such words so I would do the same with Lukas.

“I will, my lady.”

The door to the sewing room flew open, and a servant girl came in and bowed to us. “The men have returned.” A moment later, I heard the trumpets sounding.

“Thank you,” I said to her. “Tell the kitchen to prepare a meal quickly, and afterwards they should heat water for baths.” I rose to my feet and went to my chamber to put away my sewing box.

When I opened the door, I saw my husband. “Sofie, are you well?” he asked me the moment he laid eyes on me.

“Yes, I am, Lukas.” I bowed to him.

He grinned as I said his name. “I spoke with the maids. They said that you have been picky about eating, especially in the mornings.”

“The colder weather doesn’t suit me.”

“The maids also told me that you haven’t had your courses.” He stared at me for a moment.

He had been gone almost a whole month, and I hadn’t had my courses and hadn’t had them before either. I thought constantly about having a baby, but I felt so off lately that I hadn’t thought twice about not getting my courses. They were often late.

“I’m not sure. We need to wait a few more weeks to be certain,” I told him.

“I’ve already called a midwife to have a look at you,” he told me.

My jaw dropped. “As you wish, Lukas,” I responded.

“I wish it so. If you are expecting, I’ll have reason to pamper you and feed you and to put you to bed more often.”

I blushed at him. He was a changed man. He wanted a child, and I hoped that I could give him one. I rushed into his arms.

He hugged me fiercely and spun me in a circle. “I missed you. As soon as the midwife leaves, I want you on your back.”

I giggled like a little girl upon hearing him say that. “You need a bath first,” I told him, sounding like a wife and not like a prisoner. I held still for a moment as I waited to see how he would react to that slip of the tongue. I was seldom playful with him.

“You’re right. I’ll call for the tub now so I don’t have to wait too long to be inside of you.”

My blush deepened. This banter between us felt good. It was good for my soul.

The servants brought in the tub and the warm water as we waited for the midwife. Lukas was out of the tub and had a meal sent up to us, ready to be eaten when the midwife arrived.

She reached under my skirt and felt my belly to the point that it hurt me, and I had to be sick. Lukas held the chamber pot under me while I was sick in it. He grinned from ear to ear as the midwife told him that it was a sure sign that I was with child.

When the midwife left, Lukas picked me up and brought me to bed, treating me as if I were a small girl.

He laid down in bed alongside me and told me about the things he wanted to show our son when he was older. He told me about the cradle that he’d already started, and I drifted off to sleep in his arms.

~

The next day, everyone at the castle knew that I was expecting a baby. They blessed me and the child I carried inside of me. I finally felt as if I had a true reason to be here.

There was only one problem. When Lukas and I made love, I never enjoyed it to the point that I had my little death. I didn’t even come close. Lukas was getting frustrated. He tried several things, but none worked.

I asked him to be a little rough, but he refused because of the child.

~

Lukas was often gone because of the feuds. They wouldn’t stop, and people came to him wanting him to stop them. I carefully shared my fears with my husband, but he insisted that I was wrong. He refused to believe that my father hadn’t been the one to start the war.

Lukas was gone for long periods of time, sometimes he was gone for weeks at a time. I was alone with his court and his adviser.

Because I had been accepted by him and his court, I had to care for the squabbles of the court. With the weather turning colder each day, people got out less, and they had more time to get in each other’s way or feel offended.

I had to make tough decisions that weren’t always popular with everyone. I did what I felt was right, and when Lukas came home, he reviewed and agreed with all of my decisions.

I was glad when I started to show. It was first then that I believed that I was truly expecting a baby. I loved my child with all of my heart, and when I was alone, I talked to the baby.

I knew that we would grow to be the best of friends.