Chapter 22 ~ Lukas Von Bayern

 

I was greeted by my adviser. He gave me the bad news, telling me that my daughter was gone before she had even come into this world, and that Princess Sofie refused to let go of our baby’s dead body.

A rage filled my heart. I went into the castle and knocked down everything that I saw.

When my men tried to stop me, I drew my sword, and they saw that I was serious. I didn’t care what broke. I proved it by hacking away at whatever furniture stood between me and my wife as I marched up to our bedchamber.

I opened the door and saw my wife in bed, holding our baby in her arms. She looked so sweet and innocent.

“Sofie.” That was all that I could say. I was speechless as I looked at her heartbroken in bed, holding onto the child that she had so dearly wanted.

She looked like the virgin Mary, holding her baby. But our baby was dead. I needed to take the child away from my wife.

I knelt down as I would before a statue of the virgin. I was powerless as I looked into Sofie’s eyes.

“She’s dead,” Sofie told me, turning away slightly, signaling that she wouldn’t release the child she was holding so tightly.

I lifted my hands towards the baby, my dead daughter. A child we had both wanted so much. “Let me hold her for a moment.” I wanted to see the baby.

“No,” Sofie snapped, backing away from me.

“She’s my daughter too.” It was my right to hold her too.

“No. You promised me that no one would ever take a baby out of my arms. You promised.”

She was right. Those had been my exact words. If I had known that something like this would happen, I never would have uttered them. I hung my head in shame. I should have thought about this possibility. Why hadn’t I?

I was filled with such sorrow that I couldn’t breathe. Tears spilled from my eyes as if I were a young boy. I could no longer hold up my head. I rested it on the bed beside Sofie. I could feel her warmth. I needed to be close to her. I reached out and laid my hand on my daughter’s head. She was so cold.

~

“I named her Anna-Rosa,” Sofie said in a whisper.

“That’s beautiful. Did the priest baptize her yet?” I asked her.

“No, not yet. I doubt that he will. She was born this way.” Sofie sobbed for a moment. “I think it would be best if she stayed with me. They want to take her away, but a child belongs by her mother, especially a daughter.”

“Of course. The priest should come here.” I looked at the midwife. She hurried off to get the priest.

I rose up so I was sitting on the bed. Carefully, I moved the blanket to the side to look at my daughter. She was beautiful. I told Sofie that I thought so.

“I think so too. She was too good for this world. The angels changed their minds and wanted her back.”

“Yes, they did, Sofie. She looks like you. Of course, they would want her back. It must be difficult to let something so beautiful go.”

“Almost impossible,” I agreed with her. “Are you tired? Did you suffer very much? I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I wanted to be.”

“I thought that I would die. But I didn’t.” Sofie was shaking as she cried. “The baby died. She’s gone. I should have gone with her.”

“No, darling. You need to stay with me. We are going to have more children. I assure you, we will.”

The midwife returned with the priest before I could calm Sofie down. She insisted that she wanted to be with our child. My blood ran cold, hearing her say that. A fear chilled my heart.

“Baptize my daughter. Her name is Anna-Rosa.” I told the priest.

“I will not,” the priest stated, looking offended.

“You will.” I rose to my feet.

“I will not. It would be a sin. The child was born soulless. I cannot baptize a soulless child.” He shook his head as he spoke.

“If she isn’t baptized, then she can’t be buried on holy ground,” Sofie sobbed, nestling her face against Anna’s.

I drew my sword and held the blade to the priest’s neck. “You will baptize my daughter, and she will be buried in the family crypt, or you will die, and I’ll find another priest who will do as I bid.”

“I can’t do it. It would be a crime against the church,” the priest protested.

“I’ve seen you bless crosses, and necklaces, and pictures. If you can do that, you can bless and baptize my daughter. Besides, every man is a sinner. You can confess this to another priest when you get the chance, telling him that I would have killed you if hadn’t done it.” I stared him down, letting him know that I would do it. I wasn’t myself at the moment, and no man should try to cross me, priest or not.

“I’ll do it, my lord.” He closed his eyes and prayed to God for forgiveness, mumbling his words.

I removed my sword from his throat.

“Don’t disappoint me,” I warned him.

“No, my lord.” He gulped.

Then he went to the bed where Sofie lay with the baby in her arms. The midwife held a basin of water out to him. He dipped his fingers into the water and quickly baptized my daughter.

He left the first moment he could.

The midwife whispered to me that she still needed to clean up Sofie.

“I’ll do that. Don’t worry.” I assured her.

“But, my lord, there was so much blood. My lady isn’t well.”

I turned to the midwife. “Could I still lose her?”

“It’s too early to tell, my lord,” she replied. The look on her face was filled with worry for my lady wife.

“Sofie, the midwife said that I should hold the baby while you bathe. I’ll give Anna-Rosa back as soon as you’re in a clean shift.” I reached for my daughter, and Sofie helped me take her.

“You have to hold your hand under her head,” Sofie explained, laying my daughter in my arms.

“Of course, darling. I’ll be very careful so I don’t hurt her.”

The midwife and Lady Klara helped Sofie get up. There was so much blood in the bed that I had to look away. I cursed myself. I had seen war. I knew what blood looked like. Sofie shouldn’t think that I was disgusted by her.

I looked back at her and smiled. “She’s so small,” I said, praising our daughter.

Sofie smiled back at me and nodded. Her face glowed with love for the child. The women washed Sofie’s blood-filled body and helped her change. Sofie’s naked body looked wrong. Her belly was almost gone, and she looked softer than normal.

The midwife removed the sheets and the animal skins. New ones were laid down, and then they brought an exhausted Sofie back to bed.

“I think we should rest. I’ll lay Anna in the middle so we won’t have to fight over her.” I laid the baby beside her mother and laid down with my arm around both of them.

~

The next day turned out to be the worst day of my life. Sofie and I had to lay our daughter in a stone coffin and watch the lid slide over her body, enclosing her forever. We would never see her again.

Sofie leaned into my body barely able to stand even with my help. The priest read a mass for Anna. Her name would be carved into the stone later. Princess Anna-Rosa Burkhart. It would say that she was born and died the same day.

Then the priest left us to say our goodbyes to someone we never got the honor to meet.

Sofie sank to her feet and wrapped her arms around the tiny coffin.

“We have to go now. She needs peace to rest. We need to give her that peace,” I told her, hoping they were the right words.

“I can’t do it. It’s so cold in here. Too cold for a baby.” Sofie clung to the stone coffin.

My heart felt so heavy. “We’ll visit her tomorrow. I promise. Every day, we’ll come to visit her.”

“She belongs in my arms.” Sofie’s eyes filled with tears.

I had never felt weaker than in that moment. “You belong in bed. The midwife said so. Come with me, Sofie.”

“I can’t do it. I can’t leave her here alone.”

“She isn’t alone. The angels have her. You know that. Come with me, darling,” I begged of her.

“I won’t.”

I knelt down beside her and took Sofie in my arms. “I can’t let you stay here.” I released her and rose to my feet. “Don’t make me strap you, not here and not now.” I held my hand out for her to take, willing her to obey me so I wouldn’t have to punish her after she had suffered so much.

Reluctantly, Sofie rose to her feet and turned away from our daughter’s grave.

I brought Sofie up to our chamber and spoon-fed her some soup. She stopped talking completely. She broke down in tears often.

Her heart was broken.