Custom Love by Chantal Fernando

Chapter Nineteen

I don’t go to Trade’s that night. I don’t want the kids to think I’m taking up all of his time, and that it’s going to go from me not in the picture to being there constantly. It should be a slow introduction, and I’m happy with that. I’m in no rush, and am happy to go as slowly as needed.

So I leave Trade to spend some time with them and stay home instead, looking over the case documents for the hundredth time. Bronte calls me and asks what I’m up to.

“Not a whole lot. Why?”

“Do you want to come over for dinner? I’m ordering in Chinese.”

“Hell yeah I do. I’ll be there in twenty.”

I look down at my track pants, T-shirt and socks and Birkenstocks, and shrug. They have all seen me looking worse.

When I get to Bronte’s house, Quinn runs up to me and gives me a big hug. “How are you, beautiful girl?” I ask her.

“Good!” she replies, full of excitement.

I look at Bronte, who is watching us with a smile. “I swear she gets bigger every time I see her.”

“Don’t say that,” she replies, sticking her bottom lip out. “I don’t want her to get too big too fast.”

Crow is sitting on the couch, doing something on his phone, but lifts his head with a smile and a wave. “Hey Nadia. How’s Trade?”

I roll my eyes. “He’s fine. What are you doing?” I put Quinn down and plop on the couch next to him.

“I’m checking the security cameras at Divine. There was a big fight there last night and I need to know who we’re banning,” he explains, showing me the screen. “Haven’t seen a fight this big since Orion and his cousin at Kamikaze.”

“How do you guys remember who is banned? Are there mugshots up somewhere?” I ask. “What if someone just changes their hair and wears colored contacts or something?”

“We have a wall of fame,” he admits. “And yeah, people try that shit so we need to be onto them.”

“How’s Diesel been doing?” Bronte asks, parking herself on top of the coffee table.

“Good. He doesn’t talk much, and when he does it’s in a sarcastic tone, but he’s always alert and keeping an eye on me. Atlas was in for half of today and he brought in lollipops, soda and a board game. I think he definitely wins.”

Bronte laughs. “Atlas is a crack-up.”

“He also told me I’m pretty but Temper warned him that I’m Trade’s so not to even bother trying,” I add.

Crow smirks. “I’ve never met a man who loves women as much as Atlas does, and that’s saying something.”

“Anyway, nothing has really happened, and there is no reason for them to be there. They are kind of growing on me, though.”

“What else is new?” Bronte asks.

I tell her about Decker and what he found out about Taylor and Damon.

“Shit. Now what?” she asks, frowning.

I shrug. “No idea. I’m not going to overthink it. If a lead comes up, I’ll run with it. If not, then so be it.”

“You going to be okay if you get dragged right back into the case?” Bronte asks, studying me. “It didn’t go so well the first time.”

“I know, but I’ve been up-front and honest this time, and he knows how important my work is to me. And now that we’re dating, it makes it even more complicated. I want to find out who did this, for Trade and their kids. And if it wasn’t Damon, then I want to help him get out of prison. The whole situation is just a lot of pressure, and I never feel like I’m getting anywhere with it, you know?” I try to explain to them. “And I’m sure Chains would want to know what really happened with Taylor.”

This is the first time I’ve admitted any of this out loud, and it’s hard because Bronte is right—it’s usually not in my nature to give up and walk away from a case.

“She might have killed herself, though,” Crow says, shrugging. “And until it’s proved otherwise, that’s how it’s going to be.”

“I know.” I pick up my phone as it vibrates with a text from Trade.

What are you up to? Miss you.

Miss you too. I’m at Bronte’s for dinner.I smile to myself. I love getting these little messages that let me know that he’s thinking about me.

We have dinner—I have mine with Quinn sitting on my lap—and then I go home, brush my teeth and jump into bed.

Trade sends me another message: Goodnight.

Goodnight,I type back to him.

Temper dropped in. Btw everyone knows you’re mine now.

I grin and roll my eyes. I reply, So does this mean that I can call you mine?

He replies with: Nadia, I’ve been yours since you asked me if I was going to be the Robin to your Batman.

I laugh out loud, remembering the time he came along with me to follow Taylor.Good to know. Just thought I’d check. Goodnight.

Goodnight, babe.

Babe. I sigh, smiling in contentment.

Goes to show you never know where life is going to take you.

The weekend arrives quickly, and Trade asks me if I want to do something fun with him and the kids. He plans to take them on a two-night camping trip, and I agree to come along. Now, I’ve never been much of a camper. In fact, the last time I went was with my parents when I was a child, so it must have been about twenty-five years ago.

I tell him this, and he just grins and says that it’s going to be an adventure.

I love that. An adventure.

Just what the doctor ordered.

I pack a bag and go to his house, where I find Alia standing out the front with her hands on her hips. When she sees me, she lets her unhappiness be known.

“Nadia, Dad said I can only take one backpack. One. For two nights! How am I supposed to fit everything in? And he also said it’s a no device trip. I don’t want to be in the car with everyone if we can’t go on our devices. AJ is going to be so annoying! Can you talk to Dad? He might listen to you.”

Oh, here we go. Already testing the boundaries.

“I’m afraid that the rules your dad made are what we’re all going to have to stick by,” I say. “I can play whatever music you like, though, so that might make it a little better. Or maybe you could bring that book I saw you reading the other day? It might be nice to step away from electronics. I know I’m guilty of always being on my phone.”

She doesn’t look too thrilled. “You guys just don’t understand.” She sighs dramatically, and suddenly I feel really, really old. “Mom would have understood.”

Ouch. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to talk to your dad about it. I can’t go against whatever rules he has set for you,” I say.

She storms off, and I wonder for the first time if this trip is a good idea.

I run into AJ next, who is sitting on the floor putting his shoes on. “Did you hear we’re going fishing? I can’t wait. I’m going to catch the biggest fish out of everyone!”

“I know, it’s pretty exciting!”

“Hey, babe,” Trade says when he sees me, giving me a quick kiss, his arms full of fishing rods. “You all packed and ready to go?”

“I am. Do you need me to help with anything?” I ask.

“If you could help Mila get sorted, that would be great. She’s in her room,” he says.

“Alia is...unhappy.”

He sighs. “I know, but too bad. She’s going to have to get over it.” He kisses me again and then heads outside to put the fishing rods on the roof rack of the car.

I open Mila’s door and see her sitting on the carpet playing with a doll. “Can I help you finish packing?” I ask.

She turns and nods, eyes lighting up. “Yes. My bathing suit. I dunno where it is.”

“Okay, let’s have a look.” I double-check her bag and repack it for her, adding things I think she will need along the way. I find her bathing suit in a drawer and add it in, too. “I think that’s everything. Are you excited to go camping?”

“Yes! Can I take a teddy? I cuddle one at nighttime.”

“I don’t see why not,” I reply, and watch as she goes around her room trying to decide which is the lucky one that gets to go camping with her. “What about that one? That’s pretty cute.”

“The unicorn?”

I nod. “Yeah, she’s all glittery and pretty.”

“She is. Okay, I’ll bring her.”

We shuffle out of her room and back outside where Trade is still loading the roof racks on the car. Apparently you need to take a lot of shit with you when you go camping.

“You ready for this?” he calls out to me, smiling.

“I hope so.”

We all hop into his eight-seater Kia and get ready for the three-hour drive to the campground. Trade chose a beach town that neither of us have been to, to explore and make new memories there.

This is a big deal for us. It’s the most time I’ll have ever spent with the kids, and our first time going away together.

It’s a weird feeling, being with a family but not exactly a part of it, almost like an outsider looking in. Will I ever feel like I’m part of their family? Or will I always just feel like a friend tagging along?

This is an already-formed and-bonded family, and although Mila proves that blood might not be the only way to be tied to them, I think it will take a really long time before I feel as though it’s my own. But I’m okay with that. I think it’s how it should be.

Trade reaches over and takes my hand in his, giving it a squeeze, almost as if he can hear my thoughts or feel my concern. And looking over at him, I’m reminded why I’m sitting here right now.

It’s all because of this man.

I take a deep breath. I don’t need to overthink it; I just need to enjoy the company.

And that’s what I’m going to do.

“All right, let’s do this. I brought car snacks.”

The kids cheer when they see what my choices are, and Trade arches his eyebrow in amusement, probably because it looks like a little kid picked out the selection—chocolate, candy and chips of different varieties.

“There’s only one way to road trip,” I tell him with a shrug, and hand the kids a bag of candy to share.

Trade laughs as he turns on the engine.

And then off we go—on our first family adventure.