All the Cuts and Scars We Hide by Garry Michael

Twenty-Eight: Wyatt

He’s Gone

I took my fifth Tylenol of the day to relieve the splitting headache I’d suffered the past three days since I walked out on Kai. He’d tried to call me, and he even stopped by my house and camped out on my porch several times, but I didn’t answer because there was nothing else left to say. I was afraid to hurt him both physically and emotionally. I was kidding myself when I believed I could live a normal life. I could never be normal and Kai was only a fantasy.

“What’s happening, buddy,” Avery finally broke the tense silence that had been lingering since I got there. He walked to the front of my desk and drummed his fingers on the hard surface. I didn’t give them the reason why I didn't show up to work for two days. Thankfully, they knew me well enough to know not to push. But Avery must have had enough. “You can't just keep going MIA for days at a time like this. Where were you?” he scolded.

I didn’t have time for his shit. Why can’t he just let me be? Ignoring his question and his existence altogether, I placed my elbows on my desk and massaged my temples with my sight focused on the spreadsheets in front of me. I had disappointed everyone. I couldn’t even look at the innocent face of Elijah beaming at me from the framed picture on my desk without feeling like a rusty, dull blade had carved out my heart.

I was a danger to everybody.

Avery started rapping the desk impatiently with his knuckles. “Wyatt? What happened to us being a team? We run this business together, you know?” he asked with a firm voice.

I swear it felt like someone was driving an ice pick into my head with each rap of his knuckles. “I’m sorry you had to sail for me, okay? I didn’t mean to interrupt your perfect little life,” I barked. I wanted to fight him to let my frustration, shame, and guilt which had been building, erupt.

Avery stopped rapping his knuckles and his eyes narrowed. “I don’t fucking care about sailing or work, you fucker. We care about you,” he said with emotion I didn’t expect when he gestured to Elizabeth. “Did you even think about that? And why was Kai looking for you? Why haven’t you been answering his calls… or our calls for that matter?” he asked fuming.

“Sweetie, just leave him alone,” Elizabeth said, trying to calm him down.

“No babe, I’ve let him do this to himself for too long. This ends today,” he explained to her before turning his attention back to me. “You can hate me, Wyatt, but we're going to help you through this whether you want our help or not.”

That was what I needed to hear. The wall that I had shoved every horrific emotion behind began to crumble. I sobbed into my hands when the agony drowned me.

Elizabeth rushed to bolt the door and flipped the open sign to closed.

Avery kicked my chair away from the desk and pulled me into his arms before I knew what was happening. “We've got you, brother,” his gruff voice whispered.

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around both of us. “We love you so much, Wyatt.”

Needing to unload some of my torment, I wiped some of my tears on Avery’s shoulder before I said, “I hurt him. He’s never going to forgive me for what I said, for what I did.” I separated myself from their embrace and flopped into my chair. Staring on the scuffed floor, I told them about the nightmare and how I hurt Kai.

Avery gripped my shoulder when he heard about the choking. “Fuck, Wyatt. He—”

A knock on the door surprised us and a woman waved to get our attention. I recognized her as Sam Matthews, Kai’s landlord. I wiped my face, ashamed she might see my tears.

Elizabeth rushed to open the door. “We're closed right now. You can check our website to book a tour.”

Sam lifted a document tube. “I have something for Wyatt. From Kai,” she explained.

I stood up at the mention of Kai’s name and I was at the door in a heartbeat. “Come in,” I urged. What if something happened to him? He stopped calling and texting last night. “What about Kai? Is he okay?” I asked Sam, my voice shaking with fear.

Seeing the panic in my eyes, Sam hesitated. “He stopped by last night and asked me to give you this.” She handed me the tube which I opened immediately. It contained a blueprint that was labeled The San Juan Winds at the top. There was a small yellow post-it attached to it that read:

I hope this plan works. Take care of yourself. - Kai

“Where’s Kai?” Elizabeth asked Sam.

“He’s gone,” she said.

“What do you mean gone? Did he tell you where he was going?” I asked, my chest tightening while I kept the emotions from coming out once again.

“Home. He asked me to drop this off since you haven’t been answering his calls. Sorry, Wyatt,” Sam said with a frown. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but this felt important. I hope your night gets better,” she said before heading out.

I stared at the door, not really seeing it. “He’s gone, just like everyone else.”

“Wait a minute,” Avery started.

“Wyatt?” Elizabeth called.

Their voices sounded static. “Fuck him, I don’t need him.” I grabbed my keys off the desk and walked out, ignoring my friends' pleas for me to stay.

He left.

I was alone again and that was fine. I would be fine. I wouldn’t miss the way he said my name like it was a prayer. I wouldn’t miss how his touch made me feel cherished and alive. I wouldn’t miss the way he laughed or his laugh brought a smile to everyone’s face. I wouldn’t miss his smile that made everything alright.

I was fine.

I wouldn’t miss his stupid rankings about shit.

This was how it was always going to end. I was just kidding myself thinking that maybe, just maybe I could have him. Afraid I was going to be broken for the rest of my life, I unlocked my phone and searched for the only person who might be able to help me. “I need to see you tomorrow. It’s an emergency.”