Cruel Enforcer by Maggie Cole
5
Kora
Nothing takesmy mind off Sergey. Our time together before the fight leaves me with mixed feelings. The longer he ignores me, the more pissed I become.
Everything about him is hot and possessive. He's a dangerous bad boy of ripped muscles, dominant behavior, and a touch so electric, it instantly lights me on fire.
I've never allowed a man to tie me up before. Maybe it's because I usually date the betas. My mother taught me they are reliable, trustworthy, and supportive. She claims it's what a woman like me needs.
All those traits are correct about the men I've dated the longest. However, my mother failed to mention they would bore me to hell in bed and require me to continue making all the decisions in life.
My most exciting sex has always been with alphas, but once we get past the physical attraction, my personality doesn't keep them around. It's rare I even get in a position to have sex with domineering men. The few times I have, all but one didn't attempt to do anything borderline close to what Sergey did. The one who did wanted to tie me up; I freaked and said no. Something in my gut told me not to trust him. He was a business banker and probably never even had a speeding ticket. There was no reason besides the red flags in my brain telling me to stop.
I didn't question anything Sergey did. The moment he put his hand on my back and led me into the room, I was his to possess. Why I felt comfortable fully trusting him perplexes me. He's violent. I can feel it. Whatever he's involved in, I don't doubt is against the law. I still couldn't resist him. Anything he wanted to do, I would have done.
The most vulnerable I've ever been during any intimate moment was with him. I had no control over anything. I didn't even know I screamed out until my voice became raspy. When he kissed me after, I felt his hunger. I wanted all of him. He saw it then walked out.
He's left me feeling cheap.
I don't expect him to announce to the gym what happened or give me a lifelong commitment. I've had plenty of one-night stands and crazy sexual moments. I'm no saint, but the way he leaves me in the dark, to stagger out on my own, surprises me.
Round two is starting when I come out to the ring. Hailee and Skylar raise their eyebrows with smirks on their faces. I hold my head high, put on my confident facade, and return their smirks.
Thank God I went into the bathroom and pulled myself together.
Throughout the fight, I keep sneaking glances at Sergey. He's with his brothers, Anna, and Aspen, and doesn't once look my way.
All I want is one peek. I'm only five feet from him. We could be strangers. It's making me feel like a desperate schoolgirl looking for attention. It's everything I despise. I'm Kora Kilborn. I don't beg men. They beg me.
It sounds egotistical, but it's true. The men I'm typically in relationships with beg me for everything—my time, their O's, and everything in between.
Instead of acknowledging my existence, he acts like I'm no one to him. It's as if he didn't just get me naked and make me come on his face so many times, I got dizzy.
He thinks I'm a piranha.
I cringe, sneak another glance at the back of his hard body, and wonder if it makes me a challenge for him—someone to break and control for fun. Is he the crocodile ready to swoop in and swallow me whole?
He said I passed the test. What does that mean?
I can't inhale his scent without my knees turning to Jell-O. Staring at him makes my insides quiver. Recalling how his body pressed against mine only makes me feel desperate to experience every part of him.
Get a grip.
As soon as the fight is over, I go outside. I need air. If I continue to be in the same room as him, I'm going to say something. He'll see all my cards. It'll expose all the emotions I'm feeling. And I'm not a woman who allows others to know what hurts me. Not unless you're my close friend, and rarely do I admit pain. It's easier for me to offer comfort to others and help solve their problems.
When I step outside, the bouncer, Leo, is there. He asks, "Who won?"
I force a smile. "Boris."
He nods. His thick neck barely moves. His Russian accent is more pronounced than Sergey's. "You shouldn't be out here. It's not safe."
I snort then point across the street, several buildings down. "You see the light on in that building?"
"Yeah."
"I grew up in that apartment. My sister and mother still live there. They refuse to move even though I told them I'd pay for a new home near where I live." It's something I'm not happy about, but I can't force them to move. It's hard for me to understand how they would rather live in run-down government housing than accept my help. I know it has to do with their pride. Regardless, it angers me they can't swallow it and put themselves in a safer situation. It hurts me they've only seen my condo once and declared I'm too fancy for them now. If I didn't still visit them, I would never see them, since they refuse to come to what they declared as my "uppity" building.
He raises his eyebrows. "No shit?"
I motion to the street corner where two men in black hoodies are standing against the brick building. "See those thugs?"
His eyes turn to slits. "Watch who you're calling a thug."
It takes me by surprise. I assumed he would use the term without batting an eye. "You know them?"
"Enough. They may be dealing, but they keep order around here."
"Yeah, they do. They're my cousins, DeAndre and Terrell." I avoid telling him my brother used to stand with them every night until he got shot in a drive-by shooting. I don't mention I've lost track of how many times DeAndre and Terrell have been in and out of jail. I'm not a fan of their life choices. It wasn't easy to pull myself out of my environment. In some ways, I did the impossible. Maybe it's why I'm such a control freak. Growing up, nothing was ever in order. Food was scarce toward the end of the month until my mother's food stamps arrived. All my clothes were hand-me-downs from my sister. They often had holes or were worn out. She got to pick them out from the second-hand store, but nothing was ever my choice. My mother had multiple boyfriends. Some of them were nice. Some, not so much. Power outages from unpaid electric bills were a normal part of life. I got good at reading in the dark near the window so I could do my homework.
I'm not sure why I worked so hard in school. No one told me I could make something of myself. If anything, the exact opposite occurred. My mother drilled into my, and my siblings' heads, this was life and to accept reality. She didn't understand why I studied so hard. There was this urgency inside me to be the best at whatever I did. So I poured myself into my studies and got a full ride to college.
My mother couldn't understand why I wanted to go to college, either.
Leo glances at the corner again then me. "You've done well then. You've escaped the hood."
"My point in telling you this is if anyone in this neighborhood tried to hurt me, they wouldn't live to tell about it. And I'm still around enough they know who I belong to."
"Ah, but you should never get cocky," Leo warns.
"Sure," I say, pull my phone out, and text the girls I've left. I pat Leo on the shoulder. "Have a good night." I stroll across the street and pull out the key to my mother's house. I planned on coming later in the week, but since I'm here, there's no time like the present.
When I walk through the door, she turns down the TV. "Kora, what are you doing here?"
"I was watching a boxing match across the street."
Her eyes turn to slits. "What business you got with those Russians?"
I feel my body tense and refrain from lecturing her.
It's not worth it.
My mother disagrees about everything in my life. She doesn't like I'm an attorney. She sees lawyers as overpaid ambulance chasers. No matter how well I do, or what recognition I get, her distaste for my profession doesn't change. She also doesn't understand why I won't represent my cousins when they get into legal trouble. It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain I'm not a criminal attorney. In her mind, I'm selfish and have forgotten my roots.
"Aspen is dating the brother of the boxer who fought tonight." I don't dare mention Sergey. She would disprove of everything about him, and I'm definitely not admitting I just let him tie me up in his training room.
She purses her lips in disapproval. Years ago, when the gym across the street opened, many people in the neighborhood didn't approve. They didn't like that the men outside it typically spoke Russian. It didn't matter the new tenants bought the building or crime on the street went down since Leo is stationed there almost all hours of the night and day. The community saw it as foreigners who were invading their space.
I should have put two and two together when Aspen said we were going to a fight. When we pulled up to the gym, I didn't say anything to the girls or Maksim. And I've never brought my friends to my mother's house. It's not safe for them. They met her when she visited my condo. My sister and mother were both rude to my friends. It was embarrassing, and I've not attempted to mix the two parties together again.
I bend down and kiss her cheek. "Are you doing okay?"
She huffs. "Money is getting low, but I'll survive."
It's the same answer she always gives me. While she won't move, she's more than happy to accept my cash.
I pull an envelope out of my purse. I give my mother money once a month. If it were just for her well-being, I wouldn't care. I hate that my lazy sister, who refuses to get a job and is always nasty to me, gets to live off my hard work. She's two years older than me and hasn't worked since she was twenty-two. But the situation is what it is. I can't change it, and I don't want my mom to struggle. No matter how much she does or doesn't approve of my choices, she's still my mom. My father didn't leave her in a good position with three children to feed all on her own, so I give her more slack than some people might.
I set the envelope on the table next to her. She pretends it doesn't exist, but she complains she has no money, every time I visit.
"Jamal came by today."
My gut clenches. "Oh?" Jamal and I dated for several years when I was younger. My mother thinks he's perfect for me. He has a cell phone business in the neighborhood. He's a nice man, but there was never a spark. He has no backbone when it comes to me, either. Anything I'd say he would agree with, which only annoyed me.
It's one thing to always want to get your way at work. It's another to have your man never have an opinion or question anything. To this day, Jamal, nor my mother or sister, can understand why I'm not with him.
"My sink was leaking. You know how long the landlord takes to repair anything. He came right over when I called and fixed it."
"It's another reason you should let me get you a new place," I try again.
My mother blows air out of her lips. "Jamal asked about you. I think if you stopped in the store to see how he's doing, he'd take you back."
"I've told you, I'm not interested in Jamal. There's no chemistry between us. He's a nice guy but not for me."
Her eyes turn to slits. "Then who is, Kora? Hmm?"
Why do I even bother coming here?
"Where's Neicy?" I ask.
"On a date."
"With who?"
My mother shrugs. "You know Neicy."
I sure do. Somehow, my mother thinks it's okay for Neicy to never settle down, but I'm supposed to be unhappy and tether myself to Jamal for life.
"Jamal's a nice man with a good business," my mother reiterates for the thousandth time.
I walk to the window and gaze out. Sergey steps out of the gym, and my heart flips. He talks to Leo for a moment then his car pulls up.
"Kora, you need to get your head out of the clouds. When a good, decent man shows interest in you and continues to years after you've torn his heart out of his chest, it's time to realize what you're passing up. Women would throw themselves at Jamal for a chance for him to take care of them."
I watch Sergey get into his car. It takes off and drives down the street and out of sight. I spin to my mother. "I don't need a man. I can take care of myself."
My mother rolls her eyes. "Yes, Ms. Moneybags. You can pay your bills. Do you want to end up all by yourself? I'll fill you in on a secret. It's not fun."
Guilt my mother is by herself, and some fear I'll end up just like her, consumes me. She's never had a man who truly loved her. A few years ago, she stopped trying to find him. She stated it was too hard for her to find a good man, since she had three kids to support, and now she's too old.
I love my mother, but there isn't anything about her I envy. I don't want to end up like her. She has always been unhappy. I want to share my life with someone, but I won't choose any man just so I don't end up alone.
I'm so tired of this conversation.
"You're going to be forty in less than two years. The window to find someone is almost shut."
I want to tell her she's wrong and mean. The problem is, the voice in my head says, "Is she right?"
I don't stay much longer. I order a taxi. When I get home, I shower, then climb into bed. I'm tempted to text Sergey, but I stop myself. No matter how much I want him, it's best if I forget about him.
He's trouble and into playing games. As much as I don't want to admit it, my mother is right about one thing. I'm not getting any younger.