Awakened By The Lord’s Kiss by Meghan Sloan

Chapter 14

 

 

Henry had suspected that Caroline wanted to be alone with him to confront him. He should have stopped it. This was not something he should be discussing without witnesses. Anyone could come on them right now and assume that he was doing something untoward with Caroline, even with her nowhere within reach.

 

 

 

The guests at Sarah’s garden party were more open-minded than the rest of Society, but it wouldn’t take long for word to get around. That would just make things worse for him.

 

 

 

He started to turn away.

 

 

 

“We really should not be here alone, Caroline. I think we should go back.”

 

 

 

“What are you afraid of?” Caroline’s voice stopped him. She didn’t shout at him. Her tone was curious. “Are you scared about admitting your guilt?”

 

 

 

“The only …” Henry swallowed. He didn’t turn around. “If anyone comes upon us now, they’ll immediately believe the worst of me.”

 

 

 

“No one’s going to think like that.”

 

 

 

“It’s happened more than you realise. I’ve just been lucky.”

 

 

 

And that luck was going to run out shortly. Along with his self-control. With a witness, Henry could keep his composure, but when there was no one watching them, he found himself wanting to touch Caroline, hold her as he wanted.

 

 

 

He really should have insisted that Sarah come with them. His mind was twisting things into knots.

 

 

 

“Henry.”

 

 

 

There was a rustling of skirts, and then Henry felt Caroline touch his back. He tensed, but she didn’t pull away. Her fingers spread across his back, Henry feeling every movement. He lowered his head and stared at the ground as Caroline moved around him. He saw her feet, her skirts moving, appearing before him, but he didn’t look up.

 

 

 

What was it about this woman that made him want her badly and want to run away from her at the same time?

 

 

 

“Henry, look at me.”

 

 

 

Henry started when fingers brushed across his jaw. This made him look up. Caroline stared up at him with those beautiful blue eyes, her expression soft as she stroked his cheek. She wasn’t looking at him with anger, an expression he was expecting. She didn’t even appear to want to keep her distance.

 

 

 

It took everything he had not to lean into her touch.

 

 

 

“What are you afraid of?” Caroline asked. “Why won’t you tell me the truth?”

 

 

 

“You’ve had an opinion about me for a long time, Caroline. Do you really think me telling you the truth now is going to change it?” Henry swallowed. “Will you even believe the truth?”

 

 

 

“Until last week, I believed what I thought I knew. After what happened and you were so kind towards me, I began to think. And I have doubts.” Caroline lifted her chin, her eyes shining. “I want to hear what happened from you. You’re the one who knows the truth.”

 

 

 

“Will you believe me?”

 

 

 

“I will if you stop stalling.” Caroline didn’t look away, her fingers drifting over his cheek. “Were you the one who scarred me? Or was that James?”

 

 

 

Her fingers were getting very close to his mouth. Henry stepped away. If she kept touching him, he was going to pull her into his arms. He couldn’t do that. Not yet.

 

 

 

“It was James.” It was harder than he expected to say that. “He was the one who tackled you and split your head open.”

 

 

 

“And he was the one who shot at me, wasn’t he?”

 

 

 

“We were both out shooting, and by the time I realised what he was doing …” Henry drew a shuddering breath. “I thought you were dead when I saw you go down. I cannot believe he did that.”

 

 

 

Caroline nodded. She didn’t look surprised. She looked accepting. This was easier than he thought. She brushed a lock of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. It was difficult to concentrate when all Henry wanted to do was follow the line of her neck with his mouth.

 

 

 

They really should have someone here.

 

 

 

“Why have you never said anything? Why do you take the blame?”

 

 

 

“In the beginning, I did.” Henry paced away. “Our parents have an outer persona of being kind and generous people. Everyone likes them, but the reality is they’re very strict. And they’re quick to punish for the slightest offence. They still do. James didn’t understand that, so I tried to protect him from the punishments. They weren’t something that James could have handled when he was a small boy. I was tougher than he was.”

 

 

 

Henry didn’t want to think about the scars he still had on his back and the back of his legs from the caning. Even his fellow sailors had been shocked by them when he was out at sea. Taking his shirt off in any sort of company had been uncomfortable. Henry’s back began to throb from the memories.

 

 

 

“You were being a big brother and looking out for him,” Caroline said quietly. “If I had a younger sibling, I would have done the same.”

 

 

 

“Well, be glad that you’re not an older sibling.” Henry grunted. He ran his hands through his hair. “Unfortunately, I underestimated James. He learned very early on how to manipulate people, including me. He made it out that he couldn’t take the punishments, and he would cry about the thought of being caned. So, I took it for him. I put the blame on me. By the time I realised he had set me up and was getting away with it, it was too late. James was doing things that would certainly get him into trouble. Pushing other children around, throwing things at them …”

 

 

 

He glanced at Caroline. Even across the space between them, he could see the scar on her head. How she had managed to get up and walk away after that, he had no idea. And he felt the pain tighten his chest.

 

 

 

“You and he were so alike as children,” Caroline murmured. “I remember that I couldn’t tell you apart to begin with.”

 

 

 

“Neither could anyone else. And James knew this. He used it to his advantage, and he found that he liked intentionally hurting others.”

 

 

 

“And you always got the blame.”

 

 

 

“He was very good at lying. Still is. My brother is a lost cause.” Henry hung his head. “And my parents adore him. They think he can do no wrong, and I’m the bad son. So whenever something happens, they don’t believe me when I protest my innocence. I still get punished.”

 

 

 

“How did they punish you?”

 

 

 

Henry gritted his teeth. His back felt like it was burning.

 

 

 

“Mostly caning. Across the back. My legs. My ... well, let’s just say I can’t sit down when that happens.”

 

 

 

Caroline whimpered. Henry glanced up and saw the pain in her expression. She looked like she was about to cry. She started towards him, but Henry held up a hand.

 

 

 

“Don’t. Just ... just stay there. I can’t focus when you’re close.”

 

 

 

“All right.” Caroline’s hands twisted together. “The day I was shot by James ... what happened to you? You disappeared after that.”

 

 

 

“I was forced into the navy. Father said he had had enough of me, and I had gone too far by trying to kill you. So, I was packed off to the nearest port and put on the first ship they came to.” Henry stared at his hands. “I never wanted to go into the navy. That was not what I was raised for, but they refused to listen to me. The only way they would be happy was to get me as far away from them as possible where I couldn’t get into trouble. And it was the push that I needed to make something of myself. My fellow sailors recognised a scared boy who had been abused, and they took me on as one of their own. I learned to be on the sea, went up the ranks as I mucked in with everyone else. I served against the French, and I was made a hero by people I considered family.” He sighed. “It’s saying something where people I’ve only known for four years are more like family to me than my own parents.”

 

 

 

Talking about this felt like there was a weight coming off his shoulders. Outside of those on his ship, Sarah was the only one who really knew the truth. She believed him. Henry had never thought Caroline would hear him out and not call him a liar.

 

 

 

He was going to start crying if he carried on like this.

 

 

 

“What about James?” Caroline asked. “Did he stop when his cover left?”

 

 

 

“As far as I know, yes. But he missed being able to hurt people with no repercussions. So, he enlisted in the army.” Henry snorted. “Because of his position as a duke’s son, he was given an officer’s rank and trained on how to be a soldier. He had a regiment meant to look to him for orders, and from what I heard, he got them all killed in the first battle when he panicked and ran away. He tried to cover it up and said that he called for everyone to fall back, and none heard him. When they realised he was lying after James got to talking too much when he was drunk, James took off again.”

 

 

 

“He deserted?”

 

 

 

“He did. He’s been absent without leave for nearly a year now.”

 

 

 

Caroline stared at him.

 

 

 

“How did you know about this?”

 

 

 

“When we’re in port, soldiers and sailors tend to mix when drinking. Sometimes, we fight, and sometimes, we talk. The soldier who told me about my brother expected me to get angry and start a fight to defend him. Imagine his shock when I said I wasn’t surprised that James did that. And you can imagine the other things they told me about him.”

 

 

 

“And your parents know nothing about this?”

 

 

 

“Apparently not. Even if they did, they would say that the army had it out for James. He boasts about having served at some of the battles against the French, but he was often behind the lines until the time he ran away.”

 

 

 

His first time in battle, and James ran. He wanted to hurt people without consequences, but the knowledge that he could get hurt in the process scared him. Henry had suspected that his brother was a coward, but not to this extent.

 

 

 

Caroline bit her lip. She looked like she was going to cry.

 

 

 

“So, you’ve been used to cover for him for years, and James just uses that to his advantage.”

 

 

 

“I’m going to be losing my title of Lord Bannock soon because my father believes I should be disinherited. I don’t mind losing that – I’ve got my savings, and I love living at sea now – but I hate the fact that James is going to become the heir. He doesn’t deserve it, as far as I’m concerned.”

 

 

 

“I believe you.”

 

 

 

Henry looked up.

 

 

 

“You do?”

 

 

 

Caroline nodded.

 

 

 

“I do. I can hear the pain in your voice. I know how hard this is to say it and think someone’s going to reject you.” She swallowed. “I didn’t believe you. I believed what everyone else said and formed an opinion. I’m no better than the others.”

 

 

 

“That’s not true.” Henry got to his feet. “You’re better than they are because you’re actually hearing me out. And you believe me. You have no idea how good that makes me feel to know that you believe what I’ve just said.”

 

 

 

“But why?”

 

 

 

“Why what?”

 

 

 

Caroline stared at him with a piercing gaze.

 

 

 

“Why does me believing you mean so much to you? Is it because of what you said last week?”

 

 

 

She meant when he admitted to admiring her, but Henry knew it wasn’t just over that declaration.

 

 

 

“It’s a lot more than that, Caroline.”

 

 

 

“Tell me.”

 

 

 

He should have kept his distance. This was opening his heart more than he anticipated. But Henry found himself crossing to Caroline, watching as her eyes widened when he pulled her to him. He cupped her face in his hands.

 

 

 

“Does this give you any indication?”

 

 

 

Then he kissed her.

 

 

 

#

 

 

 

Caroline had not expected Henry to kiss her. She hadn’t intended to bring him away from the other guests to do something so intimate, and she should have been pushing him away. This kiss should stop.

 

 

 

But she couldn’t. Her hands went to his chest, but instead of pushing him, she grabbed onto his shirt and held on as Henry kissed her, the fierceness at the start easing off to a gentle, beautiful exploration of her mouth. He took control, angling her head to the right position and nibbling at her lips before kissing her more deeply. He did it in such a painstaking way that Caroline wanted more.

 

 

 

I thought you hated him. You shouldn’t be allowing this.

 

 

 

Just a little longer. Just …

 

 

 

Caroline felt like her legs were going to give way. She leaned on Henry as she wobbled, and Henry’s arms went from her head to slide around her. He cradled her like she was a precious gem, his touch building fire in her chest. Even then, Caroline felt herself trembling.

 

 

 

She wanted more. Needed more.

 

 

 

What was happening to her?

 

 

 

Henry broke the kiss and lifted his head. His eyes were so dark they were practically black. He was breathing heavily, his breath tickling her mouth.

 

 

 

“I ... forgive me.” He lowered his head and started to step away. “I shouldn’t have done that. That was not gentlemanly.”

 

 

 

“I didn’t protest,” Caroline whispered.

 

 

 

“You didn’t need to. I know when I’ve crossed a boundary.” Henry gave her a rueful smile. “I was fully expecting you to slap me for touching you in such a way. I’m still expecting it.”

 

 

 

“I …”

 

 

 

Caroline couldn’t do that. She was still reeling from the knowledge that Henry was not the villain everyone painted him to be. And then added to the kiss he had given her …

 

 

 

It felt like everything had been taken out of position and put elsewhere. Caroline didn’t know what was going on.

 

 

 

“Caroline? Henry?”

 

 

 

Henry stepped away quickly and headed towards the bench as there was a rustling of leaves. Her heart still racing, Caroline turned and saw Sarah duck under the branches, catching a stray leaf in her hair. She frowned when she saw them.

 

 

 

“Oh. Forgive me, did I interrupt something?”

 

 

 

“No, you didn’t.” Henry straightened his jacket. “I think it’s safe to say we’ve cleared the air, so to speak.”

 

 

 

Caroline stared at him. Clearing the air was not how she would have described it. Henry had just told her the truth about their past, and then he had to put a cat among the pigeons and kiss her. How was that clearing the air? She just felt even more confused.

 

 

 

“I see.” Sarah’s face said she didn’t look convinced. “There’s someone here to see you, Henry. A Teresa Bakersfield. She said that she desperately needs to see you.”

 

 

 

“Teresa?” Henry frowned. “Did she give any reason why she’s here?”

 

 

 

“No, she didn’t. But she’s here with her son.” Sarah was watching him closely. “She’s not leaving until she’s spoken to you.”

 

 

 

Caroline felt herself go cold. Another woman was here to see Henry? She swallowed.

 

 

 

“Who’s Teresa?”

 

 

 

“She used to be one of our upstairs maids. She got pregnant by the man she was due to marry, and then he abandoned her.” Henry sighed. “Apparently, Mother said she couldn’t have a woman of ill repute working for her and threw her out. Last I heard, she had gone to live with her parents in Cornwall.”

 

 

 

“What’s she doing here?”

 

 

 

Why are you so invested in knowing? It’s not your business.

 

 

 

I know that. But I still want to know.

 

 

 

“I’ll have to go and find out.” Henry paused with a look in Caroline’s direction, the heat flickering in his eyes before it vanished, and he put on a blank expression. He turned to Sarah. “Where is she now?”

 

 

 

“In the library.”

 

 

 

“I’ll go now. Walk Lady Caroline back, will you? I don’t think she should be left alone.”

 

 

 

“Of course.” Sarah arched a bemused eyebrow. “I’ll do that.”

 

 

 

Henry grunted. Then he bowed to Caroline, not giving her any eye contact.

 

 

 

“I’ll take my leave, My Lady. And thank you for hearing me out. I hope that we can start afresh.”

 

 

 

“I ... I hope so, too,” Caroline murmured.

 

 

 

Why couldn’t she say something better than that? She sounded so timid with that. But the kiss had thrown her even more off-balance, and Caroline was trying to get her footing back. It was a surprise that the world wasn’t tilting around her.

 

 

 

Henry stared at her for a moment longer. Then he turned and left, barely glancing at Sarah before he disappeared from sight. As his footsteps died away, Sarah turned to Caroline, her eyes dancing with anticipation.

 

 

 

“So, what happened? Did he tell you …?”

 

 

 

“Did he tell me the truth?” Caroline said grimly. “Yes, he did. He told me what James did.”

 

 

 

“And you believed him?”

 

 

 

“I did.”

 

 

 

It was hard not to believe him when she could see the pain and despair at how he had been put aside as his brother got all the attention and had no punishment for anything he did. James had said a few things during their conversations that had not made much sense, and Caroline had been left with questions. But with Henry, he had made sense. Everything was answered.

 

 

 

For the most part. That kiss didn’t answer anything but give her more questions. Henry had never shown that he even remotely cared for her in that way. Until last week, she had thought the feeling of hatred was mutual. But he had actually admired her when she was horrible towards him? How did that make any sense?

 

 

 

Her lips were still throbbing from the kiss. Caroline resisted the urge to touch her mouth as she remembered it. Henry had shown some mastery in that, and it had left Caroline wanting more.

 

 

 

She was really struggling with things right now.

 

 

 

“Caroline?”

 

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

 

Sarah gestured with her hands.

 

 

 

“What’s wrong with you? You look rather ... odd. Like you’re off in your own world.”

 

 

 

“Oh. I ... I just …” Caroline rubbed her temples. “I’m feeling a little faint. I might go inside and just sit down for a while.”

 

 

 

“Of course. You know where the best places are. And be aware, your mother is looking for you.”

 

 

 

“What does Mother want?”

 

 

 

“She wants you to meet a few gentlemen and have some introductions.”

 

 

 

Caroline didn’t want to do that. Last year, she had been happy to do that and explore her options. There had been a lot of flirtation, but it had been harmless. Fun, but harmless. This time, she didn’t want to talk to anyone. Or flirt with any gentleman.

 

 

 

She just wanted to find Henry and figure out what was going on between them. And that shook her. Only a short while ago, she declared that she despised him for what he did. To know that her hatred had been built on lies and Henry actually desired her was not something she had expected.

 

 

 

She needed time alone to figure out what to do.

 

 

 

It didn’t take long to get back to the house; the walk back made in silence. Sarah kept glancing over at Caroline. She knew her friend had a few questions about her sudden change, and Caroline wasn’t sure she could answer all of them. She didn’t even know if she knew the answers. Things were going to be up in the air for a while until she could catch them again.

 

 

 

When they got to the house, the two friends parted ways, Sarah heading across the garden to join the other guests while Caroline ducked into the house. There were a few alcoves she could sit in for a while and get away from everyone. Nobody would find her unless they knew where to look.

 

 

 

She headed along the hallway, intending on going to the music room, where she heard voices to her left. Caroline intended to walk on, but then she recognised Henry’s voice. Then she realised she was passing the library.

 

 

 

Where Sarah had told the maid Teresa to wait. The maid with the little boy.

 

 

 

The door was partly open, just a little bit. Caroline knew she should walk away and leave them be – it was not her business – but she found herself drifting closer.

 

 

 

“Your family can’t keep doing this, Lord Bannock!” Teresa’s voice rang out. She sounded distressed. “I went to your house, and your parents refused to let me inside.”

 

 

 

“So why are you here?”

 

 

 

“Because they directed me here. You’re the one paying for Charles, after all.”

 

 

 

Caroline froze. He was paying for a child that wasn’t his? Or was he …?

 

 

 

Oh, God. No, that couldn’t be right.

 

 

 

Henry sighed heavily.

 

 

 

“I helped you because my brother refused to do so. He’s still refusing to acknowledge that Charles is his son. But while I appreciate your situation, Teresa, I can’t keep helping you forever. Especially if I’m going to be disinherited.”

 

 

 

“You, disinherited? Who’s the title going to, then?”

 

 

 

“Who do you think?”

 

 

 

Someone passed by the gap in the door, and Caroline pulled back abruptly. Then she saw the little boy sitting on the rug playing with a couple of wooden toy soldiers. He couldn’t be any older than two years old with black curls and a slim face. He looked like he could easily be Henry’s child.

 

 

 

But this was James’ son. Caroline had heard Henry say so. James was a father.

 

 

 

And he was abandoning his baby.

 

 

 

“He can’t keep avoiding me forever, My Lord,” Teresa cried. “Charles deserves to be acknowledged as a Beaufort.”

 

 

 

“But what can I do about it?”

 

 

 

“You can appeal to your parents! They could legitimise a grandchild of theirs.”

 

 

 

“Not if they think he’s mine.”

 

 

 

“I’ll be telling them who the father is,” Teresa declared. “They can’t ignore that.”

 

 

 

“They can if James denies it, and I know he will. They will believe I’m the father and that I put you up to saying Charles is James’ so they will be kinder.”

 

 

 

Henry sounded so resigned about it. So exhausted. Teresa snorted.

 

 

 

“They can’t do that, can they?”

 

 

 

“They will believe James over anyone else. They’ve been doing that for years.” There was the sound of footsteps. “You need to go to James and tell him to step up. Charles deserves that, at the very least.”

 

 

 

“I’ve tried to find James. He keeps disappearing on me. He won’t see me at all.” Teresa’s voice faltered. “The last time I did see him, he said I would live to regret it.”

 

 

 

“He threatened you?”

 

 

 

“He did.” Teresa’s voice was now shaking. “I don’t know what to do, My Lord. All I want to do is have some security for my son. I want the best for him. Yes, I made the mistake of letting Lord Cornwall’s son seduce me, but I’m trying to fix my mistakes. And Charles needs his father. He shouldn’t be having his necessities paid for by his uncle. That should be coming from his father.”

 

 

 

“I know that, but have you tried telling James to do something that he doesn’t want to do? You’ll be lucky if you get him to stay still right now.”

 

 

 

There was a whimpering sound, and then Caroline heard the rustling of clothes, followed by some muffled sobbing. Then she could hear Henry’s gentle tone.

 

 

 

“We’ll get things right soon, Teresa. It will just take time. Charles will have a father there for him. I promise.”

 

 

 

Now Caroline felt like she was intruding too much. This was not something she needed to hear. Stepping back and trying to keep as quiet as possible, Caroline tiptoed away. This was not her business. Henry didn’t need her eavesdropping on him.

 

 

 

Even some people deserved to have some semblance of privacy.