Awakened By The Lord’s Kiss by Meghan Sloan
Chapter 16
Henry was a few minutes late to leave the house. James had not cleaned up in the dining room, and the butler had to corner Henry as he came downstairs to scold him about leaving the room in such a mess. Normally, Henry would simply nod and get on with it as arguing with the servants wasn’t something he wanted to do, but this time he didn’t care.
He had told the other man that he was not the one who made a mess, and he wasn’t about to clear up after his brother again. The butler had spluttered at this and tried to turn it back around on Henry, but he couldn’t do that. Henry told him to scold James the same way, and if he couldn’t, then he should get a move on with cleaning up as he wasn’t about to do it himself.
It had felt really good to walk away from that. Henry even had a slight bounce in his step as he left the house, taking the letter he had written with him. He didn’t trust any of the servants to deliver the invitation to Caroline’s house, and he was passing on the way into the village, so it wouldn’t take much to stop and drop it off.
The carriage didn’t take long to get ready, so Henry was only hanging around for a few minutes before they were on their way. It did feel better getting out of the house before James got up. Henry had no idea what his brother did after he left the dining room, but it was definitely not clearing up. Again, James had walked away from his responsibilities. He just wouldn’t accept that he was a grown man, and he needed to do that.
Henry wasn’t shocked at that, but he was shocked that James was planning to run away to America to keep from being caught by the army for his desertion. That was a big decision, and he had no idea how his brother was going to work that out with their parents. How was he going to explain that he was leaving for another country and never coming back? Even the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall were going to start asking questions.
His lies were getting out of control, and Henry had a feeling things were going to get even worse before James even admitted that he was doing wrong. And, even then, he would find a way to pin the blame on Henry.
He had been doing that for years.
The carriage passed by the Bingham estate, and Henry managed to snag a young lad as he was walking by the house. Giving the boy a gold coin, he gave him the letter and said there would be a second gold coin if he did it quickly. He didn’t want to be seen going up the driveway himself; otherwise, he would end up being invited inside. Henry wasn’t sure if he was ready to see Caroline just yet after his confession.
But you didn’t confess, did you? You just kissed her.
That was pretty much an indication of how I felt. She had to realise that.
And if she didn’t?
Henry didn’t want to think about that right now. He needed to get himself prepared for dinner tomorrow night. Caroline and her parents would be coming over, and Henry was in the process of making arrangements to keep James out of the house. He didn’t want his brother getting drunk and getting in the way. If he were lucky, James wouldn’t find out the reason why. In his brother’s mind, they were still having a competition to get Caroline to fall in love.
As far as Henry was concerned, James had lost. Unless Caroline rejected him, and then both of them would have lost.
The boy he had sent to deliver the letter came back very quickly, slightly out of breath, and beaming as Henry gave him a second gold coin. He skipped off as the carriage started off again and headed into the village, pulling up outside a small tearoom next to the church. Henry could see Teresa had already arrived, sitting at a table by the window with a cup of tea and wearing a sombre grey dress. There was no sign of Charles.
Henry alighted the carriage and looked up at the driver.
“I won’t be long. Wait outside the blacksmith’s for me.”
“Yes, My Lord.”
The carriage pulled away as Henry entered the tearoom. Teresa looked up as he approached, and Henry could see how pale she was. Her eyes were bloodshot, and there were tear tracks on her cheeks. His heart went out to her. She had been wronged in so many ways, and there was barely anyone to help her.
“Lord Bannock.”
Teresa started to get up, but Henry stopped her.
“Don’t, Teresa. There’s no need to stand for me.”
“But it’s proper, sir!”
“I think that can be ignored, seeing as we’re technically family now.” Henry sat across from her. “Where’s Charles?”
“Mrs Lacey is looking after him. Her grandson is over this morning, and she asked if Charles could stay behind to play with him.” Teresa swallowed. “Charles doesn’t get to play with many children. Because he ... of his birth and status, nobody wants to be around him.”
“I can understand that’s difficult.”
“It wouldn’t be so difficult if James would accept and acknowledge him,” Teresa said bitterly.
“I know.” Henry reached into his pocket and brought out a thick brown packet. He placed it on the table. “This is for you. It should keep you and Charles going until Charles is about to become a man himself, providing you’re careful with your money.”
Teresa stared at the parcel with wide eyes, her mouth open. Henry could see her trying to figure out how to react. While Teresa was staring at the parcel, he signalled for the young lady at the counter.
“Can I have a coffee, please? Black, no sugar.”
“Yes, My Lord.”
“I ... that …” Teresa spluttered. “That’s far too much, Lord Bannock! I can’t accept that!”
“You can accept it. I’m not going to miss the money, so you don’t need to worry about it being a dent in my own bank account.”
“But ... you gave me much less before. Why are you giving me all this now?”
“I was planning on giving you the same before, and then James told me that he was planning on leaving the country.”
“What?” Teresa stared. “He’s leaving? Where? When?”
“Soon. And he plans to go to America.” Henry shook his head. “The army is after him. If they find him, he’s going to be court-martialed.”
“But what do his parents say? Surely, they have something to say about what’s going on?”
“They have no idea. They believe James is a hero and not a coward who ran away and let his entire regiment die.”
Teresa swallowed. She looked like she was going to cry.
“And I thought he was a charming, handsome young man who couldn’t do any wrong. He made me believe that he was a loyal person. And I learned the hard way.”
“You were young as well. You didn’t know.”
“I was seventeen! I should have known better than to go to bed with my employer’s son. But he wooed me with his words, left me sweet notes, and when he touched me, I just forgot myself.”
“I know. You’re as much a victim as Charles is.”
“Your parents didn’t care. They tried to put the blame on you.”
“I remember that.”
Henry had been shocked and outraged that he was being accused of getting Teresa pregnant. He hadn’t even been present until the day before Teresa had been forced to reveal that she was carrying James’ child. His knowledge of anatomy and how a baby came into the world was limited, but even he knew a woman didn’t get a big belly a few hours later. His parents had to know that as well.
He had been there when James came in and denied that he was the father of Teresa’s baby, despite her insistence. Henry had seen Teresa crumble, and he had been the one to pick her up and take her out of the room while his mother said Teresa needed to pack her bag and get out. He had promised to make sure his nephew was looked after.
And he had followed through. Teresa had been grateful, but she had expressed her desire that James grew up and acknowledged that Charles was his. Looking at the little boy, there was no doubt they were related.
James had a son and a woman who, despite her anger towards him, was prepared to love him through all his flaws, and he was throwing it all away. The fact that Teresa was a servant and he was a nobleman didn’t bother her; she would have put up with everything if he would actually say publicly that he had a boy.
But instead, James dug his heels in and said the child was Henry’s. Even their parents thought so. Henry hadn’t even been in the country at the time, and he was still blamed. Giving Teresa money certainly didn’t help their belief on who the parent was, but someone had to provide for Charles. He was a Beaufort, after all.
“I don’t know what to say, Lord Bannock.” Teresa reached out for the parcel and then froze with her fingers hovering over it. “I feel like I can’t take this. This is far too much.”
“It will make sure you and Charles are cared for until Charles is old enough to care for you. I can even direct you to a bank that you can put it in. I know a couple of bank managers who would be happy to help.” Henry nodded his thanks at the girl who placed his coffee in front of him. “And it will save you coming all the way up here every year to get your yearly allowance.”
“Trying to get rid of me as well, are you?”
“I’m not, and you know it. I just want to make things easier for you.”
“I know.” Teresa bit her lip. “I just wish it hadn’t come to this. I had expected to marry someone I loved and have a large family. Instead, I’m ostracised by people because I was seduced; my parents are disappointed in me and barely interact with me while I live with them, Charles’ grandparents refuse to admit that he exists, and James just won’t grow up.”
“From the way James has been lately, I don’t see him growing up anytime soon.” Henry picked up his cup and took a sip. “He tried to get me into a competition to win the heart of our neighbour. Someone who openly dislikes me.”
“Do you mean Lady Caroline Folton? I seem to remember there was a problem with her that had you leaving.”
“I was made to leave. And yes, it was her.”
Teresa shook her head.
“I really hope Lady Caroline tells James where to go. I don’t want to see him do that to someone else. And if Lady Caroline gets with child, she could be forced to marry him.”
“Which James won’t let happen if he’s leaving the country.”
“He could take Caroline with him.”
Henry snorted.
“Not a chance. Caroline won’t go anywhere with him.”
The thought of Caroline choosing James and leaving with him left Henry cold. He couldn’t bear to think about that. While he was confident Caroline would never have anything to do with James after what happened, a part of him was always scared it could happen. After what he just confessed to Caroline, he couldn’t see her leave.
You didn’t completely confess, did you? You didn’t tell her that you love her.
She wasn’t ready for it.
“Lord Bannock?” Teresa was frowning at him. “Are you all right? You went a little ... odd.”
“Did I? Forgive me.” Henry put his coffee cup down. “I guess I was trying not to think about my brother with Lady Caroline. That’s not a good pairing.”
“I agree there,” Teresa murmured. She looked down at the parcel. “It feels like you and I are prisoners to whatever he does. And we can’t seem to get rid of him.”
Henry didn’t know what to say to that. But it sounded like an accurate description.
#
“Caroline?”
Caroline turned. Her father was crossing the library towards her. He looked like he had fallen asleep at his desk, his hair stuck up on one side, and there were red lines across his cheek. Caroline had to smile at the sight.
“Did you close your eyes for a few moments again, Father?”
“I was upright when I closed them.” Bingham rubbed his cheek and tried to smooth down his hair. “I swear I didn’t fall asleep on my papers.”
“I believe you.” Caroline turned away and looked out at the garden. “The clouds are getting darker. I think we’re going to have a storm soon.”
“Hopefully, it’ll hold off until you’ve arrived at Cornwall’s estate. You don’t want to get caught in that.”
Caroline could agree with that. She liked watching the rain, but she didn’t like being out in it. Rain was cold and wet, and she didn’t fancy shivering away in soaking wet clothes indoors. From the look of it, the storm would hold off until later in the evening.
Hopefully, it wouldn’t strand her and Sarah at Henry’s home. Storms around the area tended to be quite intense, and flooding could happen very quickly. Caroline didn’t want their carriage caught in a puddle that was deeper than they anticipated. The idea of being stranded in her carriage didn’t sit well with her.
But it would be better than being stranded with Henry, where they were going to be in close quarters for longer than Caroline had planned. She could manage for a couple of hours and dinner, but more than that, and she was going to panic. Not about Henry; he had shown that he could show her the respect and care that she deserved. He would never hurt her, and that was humbling.
It was herself that she was worried about. She hadn’t been able to wipe Henry and those erotic dreams from her mind, and now all she could think about was getting Henry alone. This was very bad thinking, and she shouldn’t even be considering it. Only a few weeks ago, she couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him. The sudden change in her attitude was scary.
That kiss. It was always about that kiss. Caroline had suspected that it was Henry’s way to sway her opinion on him. He needed something to tip her over and see him differently. But the moment Caroline thought that she dismissed it immediately. She had seen the surprise in Henry’s eyes after he kissed her. He hadn’t expected to do that. It was done on impulse.
Would he kiss her on impulse again? Or would he be more reserved and focused on the conversation and company? Sarah was going to be present as well, so while she was very open-minded, doing anything more than touching hands was going to have her objecting as well.
Why was she so focused on getting another kiss? Caroline felt like she had gone mad. It was giving her a headache.
“Darling?”
“Hmm?”
Bingham was frowning at her.
“Are you well? You look like you’re deep in thought, and it’s causing a lot of pain.”
Caroline hadn’t realised that was happening. She thought about denying it and lying, but she couldn’t lie to her father. She had talked to him about everything when she was younger, and Bingham understood her as much as Sarah did. She swallowed.
“I ... I’m conflicted, Father. I don’t know what to do.”
Bingham’s expression softened. He pressed a hand to her back.
“Talk to me, Caroline. I feel like you don’t do that anymore.”
“Forgive me, Father. A lot has happened lately.” Caroline sagged onto the window seat. “I’m nervous about tonight.”
“Why are you nervous?”
“Because …” God, could she really say it? Caroline stared at the floor. “I think I’m falling for Henry Beaufort.”
Bingham didn’t answer for a moment. Then he sighed and sat beside his daughter.
“I was beginning to wonder when you were going to admit to it.”
“What?” Caroline stared. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’ve noticed how you changed after you were accosted by Lord Beaufort. The way you spoke about his brother was different. Slightly softer. Almost bewildered. Then you went to Sarah’s garden party earlier in the week, and it’s like you’ve been in a daze. Whenever Lieutenant Beaufort is brought up, a light comes into your eyes before you recover and shut down.”
“Do ... you mean that ... that I am in love?”
“If you’re not, you’re very close now.”
Caroline had thought this would be a big revelation and that her father would be shocked. But he wasn’t. He seemed to have accepted it long before she did. She still hadn’t accepted it.
“You don’t mind that I might have feelings for Lieutenant Beaufort? I know you and he are friends, but with everything between us …”
“Lieutenant Beaufort, or Lord Bannock, whichever way you want to address him, is a good lad. He’s been on the short end of things all his life, and even when he gets something for himself, it gets taken away from him. He can’t even enjoy his decorations at war without his parents ignoring him.”
“He’s wanted his parents’ approval for years, hasn’t he?”
“Very much so. I think that’s why he comes to me.” Bingham shrugged. “He just needs a father figure to talk to, and I like that he chooses me to be one.”
Caroline surveyed her father curiously.
“You’ve been on his side since the beginning, haven’t you?” she murmured.
“I have. I saw the man Henry could be and what he grew into. He deserves a lot more than what little he’s given.” Bingham smiled and squeezed Caroline’s hand. “I noticed how he was around you that day when you came in with that gash on your leg. He was so gentle with you in a way I had never seen before. He was very reluctant to leave you, and I had to practically drag him out the house.”
“Oh.”
Bingham tilted his head as he regarded his daughter.
“Has he told you the truth about his brother? Because I can’t see you changing your mind about him unless he actually did that.”
“He did. He told me everything.”
And then some. Caroline felt her face getting warm at the memory of the kiss. She had played it over and over so many times it was imprinted in her mind. If only she had been able to pull him back. She found herself desiring more than she should.
“Caroline?” Bingham was peering at her. “Something else happened, didn’t it?”
“What makes you think something did?”
“Because you went very quiet. And your face is going red.” Bingham tapped her nose with his finger. “I know you by now, darling daughter. Something else happened when he told you.”
Caroline felt a moment of panic. What would her father say to this? He couldn’t be happy that his daughter forgot the proper social etiquette of Society. She swallowed.
“Lieutenant Beaufort ... he kissed me. And I ... I let him.”
It took a moment before Bingham responded, sitting back in the window seat.
“Ah. I see. I had a feeling it was something like that.”
“You guessed it?”
“Like I said, I know you. And I suspected that Lieutenant Beaufort would have made his feelings clear to you once you heard the truth and accepted it. Holding your love back for someone who feels the opposite is really difficult.”
Caroline wasn’t sure what she should have felt telling her father about the kiss, but shock at his reaction had not been one of the many emotions she thought would come up. She stared at him.
“But ... we only met twice before he was sent away. How could anyone form an opinion after that?”
“You formed an opinion on him after one meeting, didn’t you? It’s pretty much what happened to Lieutenant Beaufort, although he went the other way.” Bingham’s mouth twitched. “I can’t imagine how he felt holding a torch for you when you made it clear you didn’t like him. That had to be painful.”
Caroline groaned.
“What am I going to do now, Father? I can’t be in close quarters with him after that. Not without you there.”
“You really want me to be present with you?”
“Yes. You could keep things on an even keel, and I can keep myself sane.”
Bingham sighed.
“I’m afraid your mother and I have other plans already set, but Sarah’s going to be there. And I know Lord Beaufort is going to be gone for the night, so you won’t have to worry about him intruding.”
“I want you to be there, though,” Caroline protested.
“I know, darling.” Bingham patted her hand. “But you’ll be fine. You’re both in love, and being in each other’s company isn’t going to hurt. Maybe it will help both of you relax.”
“Relax?”
“Yes, relax. Being in love isn’t a crime. Even after spending a decade hating him. Feelings change all the time. It’s perfectly normal.” Her father got to his feet with a grunt. “I think you had better get yourself prepared to go out. Sarah is going to be here soon, and you’re not ready yet.”
“Oh.” Caroline looked down at herself. “Of course. I forgot.”
“Considering you were staring out at the clouds, I’m not surprised. And Caroline,” Bingham kissed her forehead, “don’t fret too much. You’re going to be fine. It’s not the end of the world.”
But it did feel like Caroline was teetering on the edge. She was still trying to gather her thoughts together to get them in some sort of order. It was horrible that she didn’t feel in control. Where was the confidence from the last Season? The confidence that had helped her flirt with several young men and kept herself carefree? It seemed to have completely vanished knowing that she would be in a house with Henry with a storm approaching.
If they were lucky, the storm wouldn’t hit until after they left and Caroline was home. Because the tension in her stomach was going to get even more uncomfortable if she was in Henry’s company more than she was prepared for.
When she was a little girl, Caroline had thought that when she fell in love, she would be happy, carefree, and feel like she was walking on clouds. Instead, she was unsure and scared. Was it because these were new emotions, or because it was regarding someone she had hated for years? Caroline didn’t know what to think.
She just knew she didn’t want to be alone with Henry until she had her thoughts in some sort of order that she could control.