The Degradation of Shelby Ann by Emma Cole
Chapter Six
Shelby
Ashort time later, the houses were becoming fewer and farther between until we pulled up next to the old mailbox. With a kiss for luck, I exited the fancy car and headed up the dirt drive, noticing that the kudzu seemed to have reclaimed the base of the trees with their never-ending stranglehold. But trimming it back wouldn't be my problem anymore. I was free!
I'd wait on crowing that to the rooftops until you escape from Mama unscathed. Besides, you're wearing your new leash still. Not exactly free, now are you?
You're a real drag, you know that, right?I could sense a shrug in response and didn't bother to pursue it. The house had come into view, and I could see the shadow of the entryway through the old, tattered screen.
Dun, dun, dunnn!
Mentally flipping my other self the bird, I went up the stairs, the familiar squeak of the third one nearly making me nostalgic… if it weren't for the screech of the screen door ruining it as I stepped inside the slightly cooler interior of the house.
"Mama? You in here?" I knew she was. The old boat of a Lincoln had been sitting in the saggy carport off to the side of the house, the back end of the long car sticking out of the too-small space in all its gaudy, golden glory. I passed through the sitting room with the random religious items scattered around: a Bible on the coffee table, a crucifix on the wall, Mama's prized print of The Last Supper across from it. And of course her prayer pillow. She'd finally ruined her knees with her incessant supplication before the little shrine to the Mother she had in the corner near the davenport.
"Shelby Ann!" Mama cried as she came from the hall that led to her room, scaring the bejesus out of me. "Where have you been?" Her eyes were a bit crazed in her too-thin face, sallow from lack of the sun. Even her wisps of hair stuck out from her usual tidy bun, the strands more gray now than the vibrant auburn it once was. That was where our similarities ended though; the rest came from my father.
"Hi, Mama,” I started, hands up to ward off her fast approach. But I didn't get a chance to say more before she cut me off.
"You had relations with that man, Shelby Ann! I know it!" She tried to grip my arm, but I batted her hand away, making her grasp at the high-collared shirt she wore. "You have to pray. You have to ask for forgiveness! You don't know what you've done, and your soul will burn in Hell! Shelby Ann, listen to me!"
Oh goody, she's gone and lost all her marbles. Knew it would happen sooner or later. See what you've—
I slammed the lid on the unhelpful comments. I had bigger issues. Namely, talking down the big bag of crazy in front of me that was clutching her nonexistent pearls. "Mama, I love him. You need to stop with this nonsense—"
"What do you mean, you love him? You can't, you daft child! Now get over here and pray before God strikes you down where you stand for your actions." Insanity seemed to lend her the strength to dart forward to grip my hand, but just as quickly, she gasped and dropped it like it had scorched her. "What is that?" She pointed at my ring, utter horror plain in her voice as it screwed up her features into a disgusted mask.
I tried again, knowing it was futile, but it was very well likely that this would be the last time that I saw her. Not if she kept up this crazy vendetta over Dirk being older than me and wealthy. "I'm getting married, Mama. Can't you at least congratulate me? I came by to get my things…" I trailed off helplessly as I saw her crumble in on herself.
"You've killed us both, you stupid girl," I swore I heard her whisper. "Get out! Get out of my house and forget my name! You don't know what you've done!" Mama seemed to check out then as she staggered off to her room, the door closing behind her with a resounding slam that shook the china in the hutch. Something she'd yelled at me for when I was a rambunctious kid.
Knowing she wouldn't be coming back out, more than likely taking to her bed with a bottle of cheap, “medicinal” muscadine wine, I shot one last glance in the direction she'd disappeared before hurrying up the stairs to my own room. My heart was heavy, but I reminded myself she wasn't winning any Mother of the Year awards.
Or decade for that matter…
No, she wasn't the best, but she's all I had.
With a new determination to keep the one person I had left, I wiped my damp eyes and grabbed an old backpack to pack the few things I couldn't leave behind. Pictures, of course, a few with Mama and Papa in them from before he'd run off, trinkets, including a charm bracelet I really should have thrown out, plus a few other necessities I couldn't bear to leave behind, the last being an old cigar box I hid in the crawl space in the side of the wall. It had all my savings in it. I considered leaving some of it for Mama, knowing she'd need it to make ends meet, but decided I'd be better off paying the bills remotely in case she forgot to do it again.
With a last look around my childhood room, with its sloped ceiling and wooden floors scuffed from the years of wear I'd inflicted on it, I stepped out and closed the door. The finality of the heavy click and rattle the old metal knob made echoed in my ears until I was halfway back down the drive, dirt puffing up under my thudding footfalls as I ran to my future while leaving my past behind.
* * *
"From your expression, I'm going to venture that it didn't go well?" Dirk asked after I stowed my bag in the trunk and buckled up in the passenger seat. Even knowing it was a futile wish, I'd hoped he wouldn't notice my splotchy cheeks and red eyes.
Shaking my head, I fixed my gaze on the scenery outside of my window. "I seriously doubt she'll be attending the wedding." It was an understatement, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him about what had transpired.
I was surprised by the steel in his voice when he replied. "If I have anything to say about it, she will. And she'll behave too. Unless you don't want her there, then I'll let it go." It was me that time that reached over to take his hand.
"Thank you. I'm not sure yet, but I'll let you know," I told him gratefully as I shifted in my seat to face him. Wanting to change the subject, I brought up Sylvia. "If we can swing by the diner real quick, I'd like to tell my boss I'm leaving in person."
Dirk nodded, yet it was somewhat stiff, as if he had somewhere else to be. "That's fine, darling, but please don't dawdle." My suspicions confirmed, my brain latched onto something he'd hinted at earlier.
"Is there something going on? Anything I can help with?" There likely wasn't much I could do, but I could offer my support, just like he had with Mama.
"Your mother isn't the only one that has an issue with our engagement." Dread pooled in my stomach when he didn't elaborate.
"And?" I prompted, anxiety causing my voice to come out in a higher pitch than usual.
With his shoulders slumping, he gave my fingers a squeeze before letting go to navigate the busier streets as we came into the small town. "I didn't get my father's approval before asking you. He'd had other plans for a match, but… I've wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, Shelby Ann. I knew it then, just like I know it now. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, come hell or high water." Between my racing heart and the air trapped in my lungs, my chest felt as if it would burst, and I nearly expired on the spot from Dirk's declaration. The emotion in his voice matched the one that ran through me. "You're mine, darling. I'm never letting you go, and Father will just have to adjust his agenda or look like a fool. Everyone will assume he approved the match since I proposed so publicly, and the announcement will appear in the Gazette tomorrow."
"Dirk! What if I'd said no?" I was shocked that he'd gone to such lengths without knowing that I'd accept. "Isn't it a bit soon to be making the announcement? Not that I object," I quickly tacked on after the dark glance he shot my way.
"I told you, darling, you're mine. Besides, an announcement would have pushed you in the right direction, in the event you turned me down. It's not a secret that you're crazy for me," he teased. "But I never thought for a moment you'd cause a spectacle and turn me down with all those people staring at us." His chuckle still lent a teasing air to the whole thing, but I frowned as we pulled up to the curb and into one of the diagonal parking spaces outside the diner. He’d really thought of everything.
Kinda creepy if you ask me, but we both know you won't.
I'd wondered where she'd gone. She usually wasn't silent for that long, not when there were perfectly good targets to snark at, and I'd given her plenty of fodder. But I couldn't deal with her or Dirk's machinations right then. I had to go tell the woman that had been there for me more than my own mother that I was leaving without notice.
* * *
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Sylvia asked. Her concern was palpable, the line between her brows as deep as her frown.
"It is. I know it's short notice, well, really no notice at all, but I love him, and I can't go back to Mama, not after how she was today." I shook my head when she quirked a questioning brow. No way was I getting into that. "And that brings up what to do about her. I'm not sure that she's okay on her own, but I don't have any way to really take care of her. If you could keep an eye out, or if you hear anything, could you let me know, please? I'll see if I can ask some of the ladies at the church to keep an eye on her. I'm sure they'd say something, just because she isn't their favorite member with the way she sucks up to the pastor and looks down her nose at most of them." Thinking about the distinct lack of people that Mama hadn't turned off gave me a headache.
"Well, she'll be in at some point, I'm sure, and I'll give you a ring if she looks poorly," Sylvia promised. She didn't care for Mama at all, and I knew she didn't want to have to deal with her, so I wouldn't ask her to, but she would send me a message or call if she noticed anything amiss. "I'm going to miss you around here, Shelby, and I know the others will too. I'll let your regulars know that you've left us to go on to the big city," she teased, swatting at me with the polishing rag in her hand, "but you know Savannah isn't that far. You can stop in occasionally to say hello. And don't think I'm not happy for you, dear. I've always only wanted the best for you since the first time your mama brought you around when you were just a little thing."
Now that we were starting the big declarations, I figured I'd better make a break for it before she started getting maudlin and recounting the many years it had been since we'd met. Giving Sylvia a last hug, I choked up a bit. "I'm going to miss you too, and I will stop by for sure the next time I'm in town." I stood back and wiped my eyes; it seemed I was going to be a leaky faucet all day at the rate I was going. "I'd better get my things out of the locker. My shirts and aprons are in there, but they're all clean except for two of them from my last shift."
"Oh honey, don't worry about that. You know we have the old washer and dryer set in the back." And I did because that was where I usually washed my uniforms and other clothes on the occasions that the washer at Mama's was on the fritz. With a deep breath, I hurried on back and spun the dial to my little locker, opening it up to pull out the last remnants of my old life. I knew when I left here that I'd be embarking on a whole new adventure. There would be an entirely new world for me to learn and navigate.
Cognizant of Dirk's warning to hurry, I quickly said my goodbyes to the cook and the waitresses that were on staff today, and with the last hug for Sylvia, who had an envelope with cash in it for my final paycheck, I left what had essentially been my second home since I had started working there in high school. Before the door shut, I stole a quick moment to take in the scents and sounds of the diner, committing them to memory so I never forgot where I came from and would always have that little bit of home to hang on to.