Expecting the SEAL’s Baby by Katie Knight
Twenty-Three
The orderly showed Gina to a room to leave her bag before taking her to the doctor. Fortunately, the doctor was a woman, not much older than Gina herself. That would make it easier to confide in her. She waited, though, letting Doctor Torres run through the usual questions about her overall health and the stressors and injuries from the experience she’d had.
“You seem to have come through fine,” the doctor said after checking her vitals and giving her a physical exam. She closely checked Gina’s leg and confirmed that it was still healing but showed no sign of infection. “I’d say you need a hot meal and about ten hours of sleep,” she said when she was done.
“That does sound good, but I have a particular concern.” Why was she struggling to talk about this, especially when the doctor seemed sympathetic? “I think I’m pregnant. It’s early yet, but I took a test several days ago, and it was positive.” Gina said.
“Do you want me to verify that?” Doctor Torres asked. “It would only take a few minutes.”
“It’s not that,” Gina said. “I had severe cramps yesterday, and I’m worried about the baby.”
“After what you’ve been through, I understand your concern.” Doctor Torres nodded. “We’ve got the equipment here to do an ultrasound and check if that’s what you want.”
“It is. Thank you.” It would be a relief to be sure.
“I’ll have the equipment brought in.” The doctor went out of the room to arrange for the ultrasound, leaving Gina alone with her thoughts.
She wanted the procedure done because it would be definitive. She wanted to believe she hadn’t miscarried, but she needed to know with certainty. Jeremy would probably like to be there with her. She could send for him since she assumed he was somewhere in the same building, being checked out himself. Or maybe he was with Blake.
That stopped her from seeking him out. She didn’t want her brother to know. Not yet. She would just take care of this quietly for her own peace of mind. Afterwards, she’d tell Jeremy so he didn’t worry either.
The doctor returned to the room, pushing a cart with the ultrasound equipment on it. “I’m to tell you that your brother is doing well,” she said first. “He and the other man you came in with have been checked and have been given rooms in our guest building.”
“Thank you, that’s good to know,” Gina said.
“Let’s take care of this, so that you can get some sleep, too.” Doctor Torres quickly set up the equipment and got Gina ready.
“Turn the monitor so I can see it, please?” Gina requested when the doctor began the ultrasound.
“Are you sure?” the doctor cautioned.
“I am.” Gina had already shared that she was a nurse practitioner. She wouldn’t need any explanation to know what she was seeing. Her professional knowledge didn’t make her any less nervous, though, when she peered at the screen as the doctor began the procedure.
“There we go,” Doctor Torres said a moment later. “I see the gestational sac, and the flutter of a heartbeat.”
Gina was staring at the screen, too, overwhelmed with relief and joy to see the tiny, forming baby.
The doctor changed the angle slightly to get a different view. “It’s early, but the image is clear enough. Your baby appears to be just fine. Congratulations. Do you want me to print you a picture?”
“Please, that would be great.” Gina found her voice. She was more sure than ever that she wanted this baby, but her excitement was undercut by her uncertainty about Jeremy. She was less sure of him and his commitment to having a family with her.
The doctor finished up, gave her the black-and-white image of the baby, and had the orderly escort Gina to a room so she could sleep. Gina felt as though she were walking in a fog made up of exhaustion, delight, and worry about the future. It was all mixed up in her head, so all she could do was take a hot shower and crawl under the blankets. Her body and mind were tired, so very tired, but her last thought before going to sleep was about Jeremy.
She just couldn’t see how he could be a father to their child if he was returning overseas with the SEALs. Her mother’s experience weighed heavily on Gina. She didn’t want to be the woman who was always waiting for her man to return, and she didn’t want her child to be separated from her father either. She knew too well what that felt like.
She had to work this out. Somehow. For now, she was too sleepy. She closed her eyes and drifted off.
* * *
Jeremy woke up and checked the time. Six in the evening. He’d slept the day away, which surprised him. He usually recovered from anything in a matter of a few hours, but this mission had been physically and emotionally draining in a way that was utterly new. He got up and found that his clothes had been cleaned and left for him. After dressing, he stepped into the hallway and followed the sound of a television.
Blake sat on a sofa with a plate of food in front of him, eating hungrily.
“You might want to take it easy,” Jeremy cautioned. “Your stomach’s not used to that much food at one time anymore.”
“I know, I know, but it all tastes so damn good. Do you want to see if there are any beers in that fridge?” Blake pointed to a kitchenette area.
“Sure, but only one for you.” Jeremy headed for the fridge and grabbed two beers.
“Buzzkill,” Blake said and returned to eating.
Jeremy was happy to see his friend had recovered so quickly. He wasn’t fooled into thinking that Blake was all better, far from it, but Jeremy was hopeful that Blake was well on his way back to one hundred percent. He’d been relieved when the medical team had given Blake the thumbs-up. Jeremy had gotten through his own mandatory physical as quickly as possible so he could return to Blake. He’d been a little surprised when Gina hadn’t joined them. When he’d gone to check on her after seeing Blake settled, he’d seen that she was sound asleep and he hadn’t had the heart to wake her. Soon, they’d get an opportunity to talk.
He had things to say to her. Despite the tension between them, he needed to assure her that he planned to be part of the baby’s life. He wouldn’t be there every moment like she seemed to want because he was driven to serve his country—but surely that wasn’t a dealbreaker. How could she find fault with that? He opened the beers and handed one to Blake. Okay, so he knew how. Her experience with military men was tainted by her father’s action.
He could overcome that…right?
When Blake reached for a slice of chocolate cake, Jeremy stopped him. “You’re going to be sick if you eat anymore. Take a break.”
“Guess you’re right.” Blake sat back on the couch and took a drink from the beer.
“How are you, Blake?” Jeremy decided to focus on his friend. Physically, Blake had checked out, but there was more than the physical going on. Jeremy sat across from him with his legs stretched out.
“I’ll be all right,” Blake said with a shrug.
“Hell of an ordeal,” Jeremy commented. Being held hostage, not knowing what would happen to you, could eat away at even the strongest person.
“Yeah, but we’re trained to take it, manage it.” Blake looked down at his beer.
“You’ll need to talk to somebody,” Jeremy said, thinking it might be easier for Blake to accept the idea if Jeremy suggested it. The SEAL team members didn’t like to go to counseling as a rule, but Jeremy thought it was necessary in this case. Left alone, the mental health issues could fester.
“I will. I’ll get in touch with the hospital on the base in San Diego,” Blake said. “You know they won’t let me go back out until they’ve cleared me.”
“That’s a good thing.” Jeremy wanted Blake to know he approved.
“You’ll probably rejoin the team before I do.” Blake tilted back his beer.
“We’ll see what happens. I’m not sure how quickly they can reverse a forced retirement.” He assumed it was possible to be reinstated, but the red tape might take time.
“For you?” Blake gave him a smirk. “Damn quick is my guess.”
Jeremy shrugged. He knew Blake was referring to his family’s political pull, but he’d prefer not to use that if he had the choice.
“Hey, there.” Blake’s focus shifted to the doorway. “You’re up.”
“Finally. I slept for hours,” Gina said, coming into the room. She looked so damn good. Her dark hair was loose, falling around her shoulders. Her eyes and skin glowed. Jeremy wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her until they somehow got past the tension that had developed between them.
“Want a beer?” Blake offered. “Jeremy makes a decent bartender.”
“Not tonight. Think I’ll settle for a Coke. I want the caffeine.” Gina went to the fridge and pulled out a can for herself.
Was she skipping alcohol because of the baby? Would she mention it? He waited for her to, but the moment passed as she sat on the sofa next to Blake.
“Did you check out with the docs?” Jeremy asked her and caught her eye, silently asking about the baby.
“All good,” she said, understanding him. “Nothing to worry about.”
He breathed an inner sigh of relief. That meant the baby was fine. “Glad to hear it.”
“Have you called Mom yet?” Gina asked her brother. He’d looped his arm around her shoulders.
“Done,” Blake said. “She was…”
“Ecstatic? Over the moon with excitement?” Gina supplied the words.
“Something like that,” Blake said. “She’s going to smother me with love when we get home.”
“You’ll survive.” Gina was smiling up at her brother and Jeremy felt a stab of jealousy. It was ridiculous, he knew, but he wanted her to look at him like that. “I can’t imagine how much she’s going to cook when she sees how thin you’ve gotten.”
“Jeremy’ll come over and help me eat it, won’t you?” Blake said.
“Huh?” Jeremy was caught off guard, too busy thinking about Gina to catch what Blake was saying.
“You. Eat. Good cooking.” Blake turned to his sister. “You have to know how to communicate with him.” Blake took another drink. “I’m still shocked the two of you pulled this off without killing each other.”
“We managed,” Gina said, and Jeremy saw another chance to fill Blake in on their relationship. His stomach sank as he realized that she wasn’t going to, wasn’t even going to give an inkling.
The siblings continued talking about their family and the celebration they’d have when Blake and Gina got home. Jeremy knew he’d be invited to many of the dinners and cookouts, but he also knew that he’d continue to be an outsider, a third wheel in their family, not part of the inner circle. They and their mother had always been welcoming to Jeremy, much more than his own family, but he still wasn’t one of them. Never would be.
He thought of his parents and brother. He’d been the black sheep since he was a little kid, and somewhere along the line he’d accepted that position, even intentionally done things to deserve it. The bond he’d had with Blake’s family had always been stronger and he wouldn’t trade them for the world, but what they had? How they loved and supported each other as a family, as a unified front against the world? He’d never have that with anyone.
Not even with his own child? It was a question that made him get up and pace across the room to look out a window.
“Something wrong, Jeremy?” Blake asked. “You’ve been quiet.”
“Just thinking,” Jeremy said. “Don’t let me bother you.” After a moment he heard them go back to talking. He wasn’t listening since he was too caught up in his own world. He’d never gotten seriously involved with a woman for just this reason. He didn’t think he was capable of forming a loving bond with others. The closest he’d ever come was with the two people in the room with him.
They both cared for him. He didn’t doubt that, but his own upbringing prevented him from being able to love so freely as they did. The hard truth hit him like a punch to the gut. He couldn’t be what Gina and his baby needed. He didn’t know how to be a family man. Even if he didn’t return to the SEALs, he couldn’t do it because it just wasn’t within his capacity.
He glanced at Gina and Blake. Gina was telling her brother a story, gesturing with her hands, and Blake was hanging on her every word. Jeremy wanted to as well. She was magnetic, drawing him in, but he’d be no good for her or their child.
His fists were balled at his sides as he struggled to process his conclusion. He knew he was right, though. She’d be a great mom. He could already see her with a baby in her arms. They’d be beautiful together. But she’d be better off raising the baby on her own than with a man who would only disappoint her.
She’d been disappointed by her father, and Jeremy wouldn’t do that to her again. She deserved better than he could give her. He was going to have to end whatever it was that they had. Hell, maybe it was already over.