Expecting the SEAL’s Baby by Katie Knight

Twenty-Five

Gina woke the following morning with an aching head and crusty eyes from the tears she’d shed after making her way back to her room. She must be suffering from a relationship hangover. That expression might amuse her if she wasn’t so damned broken hearted.

She sat up slowly, replaying the conversation in her head, hoping she was misremembering. But it was all too clear. Jeremy had accepted his position back with the SEALs and planned to remove himself from hers and his child’s life. That just didn’t seem like the man she’d known over the past weeks, but she was going to have to accept it. He’d given her no choice.

She rubbed her hand over her stomach. “It’s just the two of us, baby, and we’ll be okay. Somehow.” They’d work it out, but something would always be missing.

Knowing that she couldn’t hide in her room, no matter how much she wanted to, Gina showered and dressed. She felt nauseous, which might be stress or morning sickness. She couldn’t tell, but she had to sit back down on the bed before she felt she could go face breakfast. Or maybe she was stalling about facing Jeremy.

Stiffening her resolve, she made her way to the common room. The smell of food hit her as she entered. Sausage, eggs, fried potatoes. None of it sounded good. Her stomach roiled.

“Hey, sleepyhead. You better be quick if you want some food,” Blake said to her when she entered. Blake and Jeremy were sitting across from each other, both with heaping plates in front of them. Jeremy looked up, studying her face, but he only nodded in greeting.

“I’m just going to have some juice,” Gina said. “I’m not hungry.” She poured herself a small glass of orange juice and stood at the counter drinking it. If she went to the table, she’d be too near Jeremy, and she wasn’t ready for that yet. She couldn’t pretend that what happened between them hadn’t affected her.

“Are you going to sit?” Blake asked, giving her an odd look when she shook her head. “What’s up with you today? You love breakfast.”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” she insisted, trying not to sound annoyed. None of this was her brother’s fault. She’d walked into this relationship with Jeremy with her eyes wide open, so to speak. If she was hurting now, that was on her.

“If you say so,” Blake said, seeming unconvinced. “Jeremy was just telling me his good news. He’s back on the team.”

“I heard.” She placed her empty glass down on the counter with a thud. “I’m sure that makes him happy.” She kept her focus on her brother, not allowing herself to see Jeremy’s reaction to her comment.

Blake’s eyes shifted from her to Jeremy and back again. “You two are both acting strange. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Gina and Jeremy answered together.

A young woman in uniform entered the room then. “Good morning. I’m glad to see you’re all up and looking well. The commander has had word that two of you can fly out early this afternoon from Bogota. The third will have to wait for an evening flight.”

“I’ll fly separately,” Jeremy said before anyone else could speak. “You’ll want to travel together.” He stood up and walked from the room.

“You’ll need to leave the base within the hour to make the flight,” the woman said to them after he was gone. “I’ll make sure the tickets are in your names and will also arrange for transportation to the airport.”

“I’ll go pack,” Gina said and followed the woman from the room, glad for the reprieve. She knew her brother had questions about the tension that was in the air, questions she wasn’t prepared to answer yet.

Gina kept to her room until the car arrived, and then was thankful that they were sharing it with a military doctor who was returning to the States. He and Blake talked about the places they’d been stationed, while she pretended to doze. The truth was, she was hiding from her brother, even though she knew she was only putting off the inevitable.

The plane had just taken off when Blake turned his head and pinned her with a brotherly look. “What’s going on? You seem pretty down considering the happy outcome of this mess.”

She was sorry it seemed that way to him, so she was quick to reassure him. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” She smiled, reached for his hand, and gave it a squeeze. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

“Nice answer, but I’m not buying it,” he said, keeping her hand in his. “Does this have anything to do with Jeremy?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“There was definite tension between the two of you at breakfast this morning,” Blake said, as he relaxed into his seat. “And last night you were weird around each other, almost uncomfortable. I’m used to you sparring, but this was different.”

“It’s more than some tension,” she admitted with a sigh and tried to think of the best way of describing what had happened. “We had a…relationship, a brief one.” Far too brief for her.

“You and Jeremy?” His eyes went wide, and he gave his head a shake as if trying to make something come into focus. “I guess that explains the odd vibe. Wait a minute. What kind of relationship—or don’t I want to know?” His voice deepened on the last words.

“I’m pregnant,” she said, cutting to the heart of the matter without going into any details she knew he wouldn’t want to hear.

Blake seemed knocked into silence for a minute, but then gave her a confused look. “So why am I the guy sitting next to you on this flight?”

“It’s complicated,” she said. That was an understatement, but she had to try to explain it to her brother. Perhaps, saying it aloud would help her comprehend more. “I thought…even a few days ago that it could work out for us, but we ended it last night.” She almost shuddered remembering those moments on the patio.

“Is that because Jeremy was reinstated?” Blake asked, his tone gentle.

“That’s part of it, but things were falling apart before that.” That had just been the last blow. They could have fixed things from there, built a relationship that was stronger and more durable…but he wasn’t giving them a chance. “And you know he’s got some hang-ups about family, considering the way his is. He seems to think he’s just not made for relationships or fatherhood.”

“That’s bullshit,” Blake said.

Her brother’s assessment made her smile. “Maybe, but there’s no arguing with him about it. He’s stubborn.”

“So are you,” Blake pointed out, and she couldn’t deny it. But she didn’t see how it was a positive in this situation. Their combined stubbornness didn’t help them communicate and find common ground if there was any to find.

“Are you shocked by all this?” she asked a moment later.

“Somewhat,” Blake said. “You and Jeremy have always had chemistry, though. Lots of sparks fly when you’re together.”

“True.” Gina almost managed a smile. “It’s like the Fourth of July, but it was good, too.” She couldn’t express how good to her brother. It was too difficult to talk about, but he seemed to understand without her having to spell it out.

“Other than Mom,” Blake said, speaking slowly, “you and Jeremy are the people I love most in the world. I’m glad you were there for each other while I was gone.”

“Me, too.” If Blake hadn’t been captured, the relationship might not have happened. She wouldn’t have gone to Jeremy’s apartment that night in need of comfort. They wouldn’t have traveled together, which had done so much for bringing them closer. And her heart wouldn’t hurt as much as it did at the moment. Would she trade the experience? No, she wouldn’t. It had brought her joy, and now she had the baby as well. Good had come from their shared time, even if it had been cut short.

“I’m going to be an uncle,” Blake said as if processing that information for the first time. “That feels pretty damn awesome. I’m going to spoil him or her rotten.”

“Her,” Gina said without thinking.

“You already know? I thought…”

“Not for sure.” She told him about Angelica and what the older woman had said about the baby. “She also told Jeremy and me that we were lucky to have each other, so maybe she wasn’t the prophet she seemed at the time.” The tears started to well in her eyes at the thought of what she’d lost out on and how her baby wouldn’t have the father she deserved.

Blake wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in so her head rested on his shoulder. “I hope you can be happy again. I hope Jeremy can be, too. That’s all I want for the two of you.”

“I’ll try,” she managed to get out between sobs. She had no choice but to go on without Jeremy.

* * *

Jeremy sat down at the cantina in the busy airport, ordering himself dinner and a beer. He had an hour to kill before his flight boarded. He’d just opened a book that he’d picked up in the airport store when his phone rang with a call from his brother. He wanted to put off speaking to his family, but he figured he owed his brother some thanks.

“Hey, Dean,” Jeremy answered and took a swallow of his beer.

“Glad you answered. I wasn’t sure I’d catch you,” Dean said. “My congratulations on your success in retrieving your friend.”

The word retrieve grated just a bit. Jeremy and Gina hadn’t gone into the jungle looking for a lost dog or a sock mixed up with someone else’s laundry. He controlled his retort and opted for playing nice. “Thanks, and I appreciate your part in this.” Dean had provided support, expediting their removal from the jungle and their visit to the base for medical care. He had probably even been behind their rapid return to the States and Jeremy’s astoundingly fast reinstatement.

“I didn’t do much,” Dean said. “Pulled some strings, called in a few favors. Some of those were mine, others were Dad’s.”

Jeremy felt a little surprised that his father had lifted a finger for him, but then the outcome of the expedition was important to his family for political reasons. It would make a good story for the family lore—something for his dad and brother to mention when giving speeches to Gold Star families.

“I’d like to see your valor publicly recognized,” Dean said. “What do you think? Maybe a victory parade or a party at the house.”

A parade was an instant no way, and Jeremy knew what a party at the house meant. His parents’ place, designed to impress, was always referred to as the house. The guests at the party would be politicians, celebrities, and campaign donors. Not Jeremy’s crowd. He’d done everything he could to avoid such gathering since he was a kid, and he wasn’t interested now.

“I’ll pass,” Jeremy said.

“Come on. Think about it. You’ve got two reasons to celebrate.” Dean tried to persuade him. “Your buddy is safe and you’re back in the SEALs with your good name restored. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yeah, it’s what I hoped for,” Jeremy said. His family had never thought much of his position in the military, but they’d cash in on the fact that he was an officer and in Special Forces when it suited them. “But no party for me. Blake’s the one who deserves recognition.” Blake had endured far more than Jeremy.

“We could celebrate you guys together. Maybe get one of the military bands to perform on the lawn. It could be a great event. We’ll get Mom to plan it. You know she loves to do that,” Dean said, his voice gaining enthusiasm.

The event would be memorable with his family’s resources behind it. Not to mention great for Dean’s congressional campaign. Jeremy stopped himself from saying that. His brother had been helpful in Blake’s rescue and was reaching out to form a connection with Jeremy, even if that connection tended to be self-serving.

“Thanks, but I don’t think so. Besides, I’ll probably ship out soon. Talk to you later, Dean, and thanks again.” Jeremy hung up the phone and downed the rest of his beer. He raised the empty bottle in the air, catching the server’s attention.

A few minutes later with a fresh beer in his hand, Jeremy sat back and looked around at the people streaming past on their way to catch their flights. Some were business travelers, wearing suits, dragging wheeled bags, and talking on their phones. They weren’t of much interest to him. He switched his attention to the other people going by.

Couples, young and old, seemed to be everywhere. When a young couple paused to kiss, he averted his eyes, not wanting to see them. It was too much of a reminder of what he’d walked away from. He had to tell himself again that being part of a couple wasn’t in the cards for him. He forced his attention to the tables in the cantina, looking for a distraction. The place had filled up while he’d been on the phone.

Shit. His fellow diners weren’t better companions. They might even be worse.

Families sat at the three tables closest to Jeremy. They were like a story in beginning, middle, and end. The first family had a preschooler and an infant. As the mother fed the baby, the older kid caught Jeremy’s eye and flashed him a bright smile. When Jeremy gave the boy a wave, he hopped up and down in his seat in excitement. Jeremy loved the child’s energy and willingness to trust others.

Jeremy shifted his attention to the family at the next table. He was no expert on kid ages, but he’d guess that the three kids were between eight and twelve years old. They were chatting, clearly excited about going on vacation while the parents talked quietly together and looked over the menu, occasionally glancing up to check on the kids. They all seemed happy and comfortable, absorbed in the world that they’d created for themselves.

The last family had kids in their late teens, maybe early twenties. They were relaxed and casual as they checked their phones. Jeremy realized after watching for a minute that they were playing a game against each other, getting competitive and teasing each other about who was winning.

He never remembered having any of those experiences with his family. On the rare occasions that they traveled together, it had been a march through the airport on a rigid schedule with his mother constantly telling him to keep moving, and his father checking his phone and taking calls from his staff up until the last moment before the plane’s door closed.

Jeremy didn’t want that life. He took another look at the families around him. A few months ago, he’d have said that he didn’t want what they had, but his perspective had changed during the time he’d spent with Gina. He did want it, which was completely unexpected. It was also irrelevant because he knew it would never happen for him.

He finished his second beer, waved again at the little boy and made his way to his departure gate. He’d rarely had regrets in his life, but he did then. And they were intense enough that reminding himself that he was returning to active duty wasn’t enough to assuage them.