Grand Love by JC Hawke

15

Nina

The four ofus seem to lose all thought.

“Holy hotness hell.” Scarlet pants, fanning herself.

The three of them are in varying styles of tuxes. Elliot’s is navy and seems to have a slight shine to it, as if it’s textured. Lance’s is all black, the jacket, shirt and bow tie, and his tattoos peek out of his sleeves and collar. And Charlie’s looks like velvet, a dark jade shade that does absolutely everything a woman needs it to. They look fucking delicious.

“Boys, you look—”

“Fit!” Elliot finishes for me, pulling on his lapels.

“I was going to say handsome.”

“Handsome is what my granny would call me.”

“It’s perfect!” Scarlet bounces on the spot with excitement. “Can we go pick dresses, Luce? I’m dying to see what you picked out for us.”

“Yes! Boys, go get changed then carry on with these bags. You take one gift from each plate and add it. Charlie, you can tie the bows, I don’t trust the other two,” Lucy orders.

“You got it, boss,” Charlie says, smirking at Elliot and Lance as he claps them both on the back.

Scarlet dashes into the kitchen on our way out of the room. “I’ll get a bottle of bubbles. Will be right up.”

Megan leads us up the stairs, jogging at pace as her excitement grows. “I was nervous about the dresses but after seeing how spot on you got the boys, now I’m just flipping excited to see what you’ve picked out for us.”

“Well, that’s pressure.”

“I have every bit of faith in you.” Megan grins down at her as we meet her at the top.

“But you didn’t,” Lucy snaps.

“How do you two live together, still?” I laugh.

“She brings me coffee, and breakfast in bed every day.” Megan shrugs.

“I actually miss my morning coffee from you, Luce. Maybe I should move back with you girls.”

“Umm, absolutely not. I love your son, but we barely have enough room for the two of us.” Megan cringes.

“I was joking.”

We file into the room that Scarlet sent us to in the west wing. The garment bags are hung on the back of the divider and me and Megan waste no time unzipping them.

“Wait for Scar!” Lucy scolds us.

“Snooze you lose!” Megan squeals as she unzips the first bag, revealing a gold sequin dress. “Holy fuck balls!”

“That’s mine!” Lucy states, moving to stand in front of us so she can unzip them herself. “Nina, that’s yours.” She hands me a bag. “Megan.”

Megan snatches it and kisses Lucy’s cheek. “Ahhh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope mine is as nice as yours!”

“Of course, it is,” she tuts.

I leave them to their bickering and lay the bag down on the bed.

“Oh my fucking god, yes!” Megan holds a red embellished dress up against her. It’s off the shoulder and falls straight from the waist with a thigh-high slit on either side. It’s seductive but classy, almost alluring, maybe. It’s very Megan. She starts stripping in the middle of the room.

“Megs, you do realise that Scar had the divider put up for us to change behind?”

“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” she quips.

“Bloody hell. Slow down or you’ll fall and rip it.” Lucy grabs the dress and holds it out for her to step into.

“You didn’t wait for me!” Scarlet accuses, stepping into the room with a bottle of champagne and four flutes.

“I did!” I tell her, taking the glasses and setting them down on the table.

“What happened to your hair?” I ask her, frowning at the loose tendrils.

“My hair?” She looks into the free-standing mirror. “Oh crap.” She laughs, releasing the messy bun and restyling it. “I caught it on the doorknob in the kitchen.”

“Scar, this is yours!” Lucy grins, thrusting the bag at her.

She takes it, swapping it for a glass of champagne. “Megan, you look unreal!” She looks at me quickly before taking a sip of champagne.

“Thanks, Scar. I feel incredible.”

Megan looks genuinely choked up, and so she should. She isn’t a frilly dress kind of girl, but this dress, it’s like it was made for her.

“Lucy, you’re a damn genius. Girls, put yours on. I need to see!” I tell them.

“Okay, I will do mine next.” Scarlet takes another sip from her flute then disappears around the back of the divider.

“You were my biggest challenge, Scar,” Lucy calls to her. “I wasn’t sure what you’d normally pick.”

“Lucy…”

“Oh, you hate it.” Lucy’s eyes go wide as she looks at me in panic. “I can see what else we have in the shop.”

“I fucking love it.” Scarlet steps out from behind the divider. “What did you do?!”

Lucy’s hands go to her face as she takes in Scarlet’s silk-clad form. “What did I do!”

“It’s purple,” I state in awe.

“It’s periwinkle,” Lucy corrects, smoothing out the hem. “I knew you’d wear this well, but wow, Scar. You look beautiful.”

“I love it. Thank you so much, Lucy.”

She moves to the full-length mirror, smoothing her hands down her waist. It’s not tight to her body, but still fitted enough to show off her slender body.

“Come on, you, it’s our turn.” Lucy grabs my hand and my dress, pulling me behind the divider.

“Don’t be mad at me, okay? You have to give it a chance.”

“What does that mean? Will I not like it?”

“Just have an open mind. Here, help me into mine and then I’ll help you.”

Lucy’s dress is everything I’d expect it to be. Gold, covered in rhinestones and sequins, and tight to her every curve. It’s high at the neck and has a gaping back. It’s understated elegance at its finest, and Lucy to a T.

“You look gorgeous.”

“I know.” She smiles cheekily over to me. “I had my eyes on this one for fashion week but I knew I had to wear it to the ball.” She reaches up and unzips my garment bag. “Your turn.”

“God.” I start to sweat, bouncing on the balls of my feet as she lowers the zip. “Oh… Oh.”

“Try it on, okay? Give it a chance.”

“It’s see-through?”

“The lace detailing will hide the important parts.”

“Luce.”

“Put it on.”

She slides it off the hanger and I start to undress. “I presume I will have to go braless.”

“Yup.”

I step into the black lace as she holds it open for me, then lift the thin straps over my shoulders. I look down and instantly feel my eyes bug out at the view of my chest. “Luce, I can’t.”

“Hurry up!” Megan yells, knocking on the wood and making it wobble.

“Yes, you are, that’s all I have for you.” She stands, taking in my profile. “Turn around,” she tells me, biting her lip.

“Stop looking at me like you want to undress me, you weirdo.”

“You have no idea, Nina Anderson! I’ve nailed this.”

She zips me up and I have to suck in a breath with how tight the dress is. “I better be able to unzip this.”

“It doesn’t have much give, but we need it tight. We have to keep these bad boys safe and steady.” She flicks my nipple and I cover it with my palm.

“Oww!”

“Girls! Look at this queen!” She grins, spinning me and pushing me out from behind the divider.

“No!” Megan says in shock.

“Nina.” Scarlet stills, shaking her head.

Oh good god, no. I can’t stand the look on their faces. All I can think about is what everyone will think and say at the ball. “Luce, I can’t wear this!”

“No!” Megan tells me. “No, in a good way no. Nina, you are wearing that dress.” She points.

I move to stand in front of the mirror and instantly have to catch my breath.

Fuck.

“You’re going to kill him, your tits, it’s the tits,” Megan states.

The entire dress is lace, thin, see-through and like a second skin, hugging my every curve with its fishtail shape. It has a plunging neckline that sits just below my sternum. My nipples are the only parts of my breasts that are covered, hidden behind the black lace flowers decorating the dress. Oddly, it isn’t tacky, it’s so impossibly intricate with the lace embroidered delicately into the sheer fabric, that it looks unbelievably beautiful and expensive.

“Okay, I actually don’t hate it.”

“Lucy, you are going places, girl. I’m in awe of your talent right now,” Scarlet tells her.

“Thank you, I had the most beautiful canvases.”

“Champers!” Megan orders.

We all take a flute from the dresser, shuffling around the room, feeling like princesses. “I vote to not show the boys. I mean, I don’t think Elliot will keep his mouth shut to Mase and we need the full wow factor, right?” Scarlet asks.

“Right!” Lucy agrees.

“To the girls!” I toast, holding my glass high and waiting for them to follow.

Scarlet corrects me before our glasses meet. “No. To the boys.” She winks at me. “May god have mercy on their eyeballs.”

“And inappropriate boners,” Megan adds, making us all laugh.

“To the boys and inappropriate boners!” we say in unison, clinking the Lowells’ finest crystal.

* * *

Mase

My eyes seekout Jasmine sitting at the reception desk the minute the elevator doors slide open. I haven’t bothered to chat to her in weeks, she seems to come in, get her job done then leave. She doesn’t say much to me, she doesn’t really acknowledge me to be honest, but I do know she speaks to George a lot. I wouldn’t have bothered to think much of her mood had the email I received this morning not arrived in my inbox.

“Jasmine.”

Her head pops up, her eyes tired and red-rimmed.

It throws me off, despite my indifference towards her.

“Can I have a word?”

“George isn’t in yet,” she tells me, looking around at the empty reception area.

“It’s fine, pick the messages up after.”

She follows me into the office and instead of sitting at my desk, I gesture to the sofas. With a frown, she lowers herself to sit down, smoothing out her skirt and sitting with her knees together and angled to the side. She looks like a different woman to the one who was photographed on my lap last year. Her skin is clear, her hair shiny and not a tacky yellow colour like it was before.

“You look well, Jasmine,” I announce as the thought comes to me.

I can see the surprise my compliment has on her. I instantly think back to every interaction we have had. It’s always been about Nina, or her children. I’ve certainly never complimented her.

“Thank you.” She watches me, waiting. She knows I didn’t call her in here to tell her that.

“I had an email this morning. Vinny picked it up in your inbox. Do you not check your work account?”

She frowns, then smooths her hands over the edge of the sofa in thought. “You snooped through my messages?”

“We have access to all employees’ emails, Jasmine.” I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees. “You listed it with your social worker.”

“Oh no.” She tenses, her body jolting before she catches herself. “I haven’t looked.”

“Here.” I pull up the email, leaning forward and passing her my phone so she can read it.

“They’re giving me contact?” Her smile is instant and lights up her entire face. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her smile, and ironically, it reminds me of one I’m all too fond of. “I haven’t seen the boys in nearly two years.” Her voice cracks. “I’ve missed so much.”

Fuck.

I rub my hands together, watching on like a jackass, not knowing what to do as she swipes at her tears. “This is good news; they obviously see that you’re making an effort. The meetings are going well?”

She nods. “Yeah, I just… I gave up when they took Betty.” She composes herself, taking in a breath and blowing it out harshly as she reads the message again.

She looks up once she’s finished. “I hated you so much that day. I still do a little.”

“Watching them take Betty from you will be something I will never feel proud about, Jasmine. No matter how many wrongs you have done, I know you don’t deserve the hand you’ve been dealt in life. You just need to learn to help yourself.”

“You think they might actually let me have them back?”

“If you carry on as you are, I don’t see why they wouldn’t.” I swallow thickly, not wanting to feel sorry for her but not being able to control my emotions. Jasmine isn’t a bad person. She just got a little lost in life. “Jasmine, I’m sorry. I believe I judged you too soon, and wrongly. I can see that Lenny was a massive part of the problem.” I roll my lips, my knee bouncing. “By voluntarily stepping away from him, you took a massive step towards your children.”

“I know.” She nods, looking at her lap.

“Charlie’s worked hard to have them kept together, and he’s working his ass off to build a lifestyle you can present to the social workers. But the only way you will get them back is if you show you want them back. Show them you’d do anything to have them with you.”

She looks at me with so much hope. “I can’t believe I’ll get to see them.”

“Do you want Vinny to drive you?”

She shakes her head. “I’ll get a taxi.”

“Well, the offer’s there if you change your mind.”

“Thank you, Mason.”

Somehow, we’ve gone from barely saying a word to each other to having an actual conversation, and a successful one at that. “You’re welcome.”

“Mason.” George’s anxious voice rings through the intercom. I stand from the sofa and round my desk.

“Yes, George.”

“I have Miss Anderson in reception.” He pauses. “She would like to see you. Now.”

Nina? Shit, this isn’t how I planned to tell her. I still don’t know how she will take this situation.

I look up from the desk and into Jasmine’s still watering eyes. “I’d like you to meet her.”

She shakes her head, her jaw clenched. “Not yet. She will judge me and I get why, but I can’t handle that on top of the boys today. It’s too much.” She wrings her hands in her lap, looking like she is moments away from bolting.

“Just wait in here, okay?”

I straighten my jacket in the glass double doors then push out and into reception. Nina is standing at the desk talking to George, whose eyes are darting all over me as if I’m harvesting stolen organs in my office and not an employee.

Nina is supposed to be working today, and my initial worry is Ellis. “Nina.”

She spins, her eyes eating me up as her gaze fixes on me. “Hey!”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, coming to stand next to her. “Is Ellis okay?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry I probably should have called ahead.”

“No, no, it’s fine. How are you?”

She looks between me and George then frowns, and I know she will be wondering why I haven’t already ushered her into my office like all the other times she’s come here.

“Could we discuss it in private? No offence, George.” She gives him a wink. “And I can imagine you’d want to, also.”

I know she is going to ask about the kiss and how I haven’t made a move since. The tension in the gym has been hard to ignore, but I know if I go all in before either of us is ready, it won’t work. Something has to give first. “Here is fine.” My voice comes out an octave higher than normal and she frowns again as I cough into my hand. “What is it, Nina? I’m busy.”

She rears her head back at my tone. “Oh. Of course, I can come back another time.”

She turns for the elevator, and I quickly nod my head to George and mouth get her out.

He shoots out from behind the desk and disappears into my office.

“Nina.” I grasp her elbow, but she shrugs me off. “If you just give me a minute.”

“It’s fine. I should’ve texted before to say I was coming.”

“No, it’s not. Wait a second, please.” I step in front of her and notice George leaving my office and round the desk again. “I have a meeting shortly but come into my office for a minute.”

“It can wait.” She nods her head, trying to act calm but I can tell she’s annoyed.

“Don’t be like that,” I say, hushed. Her throat bobs and I give her a soft reassuring smile. Her eyes linger on me for a moment, then I spin her around, my hand on her back as I direct her into my office.

“Mason,” George whisper-shouts as we pass.

My eyes are wild when I turn on him. “What?”

“She wasn’t in there.”

My brow creases. “What?”

“Jasmine, she wasn’t in there!”

I rub my hand down over my face, looking into the office, then to Nina who is now sitting at my desk, and then back to George.

“Good job, mate,” I hiss.

“Mason, what am I to do?”

Ignoring him, I steal a breath and stride into the office, shutting the doors behind me. I opt to sit directly in front of Nina, leant back on my desk, leaving a small space between us. It makes me feel more in control than anything else and it’s a total dick move, but it gives me the viewpoint of the rest of the office.

Jasmine isn’t here and I focus my attention solely on Nina as she stares me down, her eyes sharp and poised. I know whatever she came here for is no doubt going to knock another inch off of me.

“I’m mad at you,” she deadpans. But to my surprise, her eyes waver, dropping down my body. I can’t help but smirk.

“When are you not mad at me, Pix?”

“I’m not your Pixie, Mason.”

“Why are—”

“You tried to buy my pictures,” she blurts out, her eyes becoming focused and locked on mine again.

Little fuck did tell her after all. I always wondered if he had, or if he would.

“So?” I shrug.

“So, I want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Yes, Mase, why?”

Why did I try to buy them? That was simple. “Because I wanted them.” And I will have them, one day.

“Exactly what I thought,” she huffs.

“I don’t see the issue. Did you really come here to have a go at me about trying to buy your photos?”

“No.” She stares at her lap before looking up at me through her lashes. “I told myself I wouldn’t get angry at you. I just find it hard to understand, that’s all. Your money won’t ever fix, gain or define situations, Mase. I’ve told you so many times not to do it.” Her words are getting faster and sharper despite the control she thinks she has. “A million pounds for a couple stupid photos. It’s embarrassing. It’s showy, and it’s ugly, and absolutely everything that I hate about you.”

I scoff and look down at her, opening myself up and hoping she finally understands. “You have no fucking clue, do you? Do you really think if it were just a couple of stupid photos, I would be willing to pay what I was?” My voice rises with my annoyance. “Do you think if they were just a couple of stupid fucking photos, that Joey would have told me no!” I snap.

“We weren’t even together at the time. You hated me!” She shakes her head as if she still doesn’t get it. “You didn’t want the photos, Mase. You wanted to prove a point. A power play over Joey. You don’t want me, but no one else can have me either, right?”

I push off the desk and crowd her, placing my hands on either side of her chair. “No. I wanted them because the thought of anyone else owning those photos makes me murderous. The thought that anyone else that isn’t me gets to wake up to that image kills me a little bit inside every day. It wasn’t about the money; it’s never been about the money with you.” I heave out a breath as I right myself, my chest rising and falling as I try to control my anger.

She looks up at me, her eyes glistening. “I don’t believe that.”

I throw my hands out to the side and snigger. “When have you ever believed me?”

I know why she’s mad; money has always been a hard limit for her. But what she fails to see is that she is my hard limit, every bit of her crazy ass.

“I didn’t come here to argue, Mason. I’m sorry. I gave myself a couple days to process it and I thought I was ready to talk to you but clearly, I’m not.”

I can tell she means her words. She didn’t want to say the things she just did, but maybe they needed to be spoken. I place my hand on her shoulder, quickly sliding it up to palm the side of her neck and stopping her from leaving. “Don’t get upset.”

“I just wish…” She grits her teeth, trying to control her emotions. “Why can’t you leave money out of it?”

“I’ve just told you.” I shrug. “You’ll never understand.” My eyes pinch in as I watch her. “And maybe that’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. You’re the one who doesn’t understand, Mason. It’s not the money—God it’s not the money.” She laughs, gripping my arm that holds her. “It’s the reasoning. It’s the motive. It’s putting a price on something that is me when you had me once!” Her voice wavers, tears slipping from her eyes that make my chest ache. “Jesus Christ, you could have me now and we both know it.”

I do know this. We probably both knew it from the day she left me. She may have broken the trust by not believing me, but I’m learning that this woman could feed me to the wolves and my heart would still find a way to beat for her. She lives inside of me, embedded in my soul so deep that I’m no longer one. We’re Mason and Nina, two halves of the same soul.

But we’re not ready yet, and I think she knows that too.

“I need a tissue.” She tugs my hand away, rounding my desk and walking into my bathroom.

Stupidly, between the heated words and tears… I forgot about Jasmine.