Grand Love by JC Hawke

17

Mase

My phone starts ringingin my pocket the second the doors close. I slide it out and spot Vinny’s name lighting up the screen.

“Vin?”

“Nolan just called. He went to make his visits at the clinic this morning and a discharge had been filed. Scott’s on it and I’m waiting to get more information.”

“She left?”

“I’m sorry, Mason.”

“Fucking perfect.” I drop my head back and stare blankly at the fluorescent lights.

“I’ll call when I know more,” he tells me, sounding busy.

“Yeah.” I hang up.

My head falls back to the mirror, my eyes closing for a moment before the doors slide open. Lance is standing in the doorway.

Surprise lights up his face and then it goes slack as he takes in my slouched form.

“Lowell, you all good, my man?” He steps inside and hits the button for a couple floors up.

“You ever do something thinking you are helping but it goes to shit, and you just know when the wrong person finds out it’s going to blow up in your face?” I bring my eyes to him.

“Well, yeah. We’re all human right?” He shrugs.

“Right.” Nina won’t see it like that though. She’ll call me out. Find the monetary value in my actions and miss the need I have to make her happy. It’s why we can’t do this yet. “Nina told me she loves me today.”

He frowns, fixing his tie in the mirror. “Is this about Jasmine?”

“No.” I wave him off, done with the conversation. “Forget it.” I pull myself up straight and drag my hand through my hair.

“Lowell, I—”

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out again, laughing when I see the name on the screen. “My sister.” I shake my head at Lance. Could this day get any more fucked?

Lance frowns, not following.

“Sullivan, when you meet her—your girl—do yourself a favour and take your balls off at the front door. You’re gonna lose them eventually anyway.” I slap him on the back, pushing him forward and out onto the floor he was headed for.

Everything is happening quicker than I planned, and none of it with the result I wanted. With the day from hell still brewing and hanging over my head with Scarlet’s call, I go back to my office and do something I haven’t done in months. I clear up my things and I go home.

The penthouse is silent when I get in. It’s still and lifeless without Ellis who seems to light everything up when he’s here. I had him for the entire weekend, and it still wasn’t enough. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s safe and loved with Nina, but I also know that for the days he isn’t with me, I’m missing things. The smiles, the giggles, and the tears when he needs me. It’s all things I’ve grown to know and love and miss.

She told me she loves me.

She told me she couldn’t do it anymore.

And I told her no.

I told her I couldn’t be with her.

What a load of bullshit.

They’re what this apartment needs. They’re all I need.

Life.

Soul.

Laughter.

If I thought now was the right time to reel her back to me, I’d do it—in an instant. But she proved today that she still can’t handle my money. I don’t know how we will ever get past that when it is such a big part of my life.

I have money.

I use it.

So what?

Maybe I’m being an ass. She told me she wanted me, she all but kissed me, and damn was it hard to stop myself from pulling her lips deeper onto mine. Maybe I should give her the chance—prove that she won’t run.

I expected her to leave and not let me explain about Jasmine. I sure as shit didn’t expect her to tell me she loved me.

I thought I had more time.

Nothing is ready.

Would I have tried to kiss her in the laundry room if I knew she was so close? I’d like to think not, but now she is left wondering why, and my only reasoning for her, was that I wanted her, but can’t trust her.

Leaving the lights off downstairs, I take the steps two at a time and disappear into my bedroom, flicking on the lights, then heading for a shower.

The hot spray hits my back and I rest my head to the tile, welcoming the cold contrast.

I need to clear my thoughts. Work out what the hell I want.

With Vinny’s phone call earlier and Scarlet, who I’m yet to deal with, I know that the next few days aren’t going to get any easier.

There’s something I know will help though.

And I’m a selfish bastard to ask for it.

* * *

Nina

“Mum, Mum, Ma.”

“Hello, my baby!” My voice cracks as I reach out to take Ellis from Lucy’s arms, giving away the emotions that threaten to break through.

It’s been the longest day. After I left Mason’s office, I went to work and didn’t give myself the chance to stop until my shift was done. If I’d stopped, I’d have cracked.

Lucy’s frown is instant, and I shake my head to tell her not to ask. “I’ve missed you, Ellis.” I hug his small body to my chest, and he drops his head there. “Have you been a good boy for Nanny Mags?”

“Mum said he was an angel as always. He had a pouch thing for his tea because they’re going out. She said he ate really well, though.”

“Thank you for dropping him back. Is your mum okay?”

“Yeah, Dad is taking her to the cinema tonight, so she asked if I would bring him home.” She leans in, smoothing her hand over his hair and he reaches for her. “Which is perfect isn’t it, mate, because we have missed Auntie Lucy cuddles!” She tickles his neck, and he falls into her. “Haven’t we!”

I inch away, pouting. “Hey! Mummy gets the cuddles now. I need you tonight little man.” I breathe him in, the smell of his shampoo and baby oil grounding me again.

I can feel Lucy’s eyes on me. “Hmmm. Does Mummy have wine in the fridge?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Get Ellis a bottle and I will get the wine.”

“You don’t have to stay,” I tell her, but I hope she will.

“I know.” She disappears to the kitchen, and I look down at Ellis with a smile. We are so flipping lucky.

“Come on.” She walks past us and towards my bedroom.

“Where are you going?”

“To bed. You don’t want me to leave, and I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

Half an hour later, Ellis is curled up beside me facing my chest and snuggling into my arm. Lucy is lying on her side with her head propped up on a pillow. I’ve told her pretty much everything, from Joey and the photos to Jasmine being my sister.

“So I left after he explained everything, and when I got to the elevators, he followed me in. He was holding me, and after everything I had just been told and after a weekend away from Ellis, I just needed to feel… closer.”

“And so, you told him you loved him?”

I nod, sliding down the bed slightly. “And then he told me he didn’t trust me.”

“Didn’t he try and kiss you just a few weeks ago?”

“He said he wants me, but he doesn’t trust me not to run.” I shrug. “I get it because I left him when he didn’t do what I accused him of. But I really don’t think I’d run again. If I can get over Jasmine, like I did the studio and Cara, surely we can get over anything?”

“I guess, but you’re not solely to blame here. You both have things to work on.”

“I know that. But I think we are at our best when we’re together. Elliot told me about how badly it affected him when his mum died. Then he lost his dad, too. I think when I run from him he spirals, and that’s not going to heal with us apart. I have to show him I’ll stay.”

“So you’re willing to try again with him? Even though he does things that hurt you, maybe not intentionally, but he does.”

“I love him, Luce.” I shrug.

“I know, and that actually makes me incredibly proud of you. You’ve changed. Ellis has changed you.”

“You think?” I chuckle, taking a sip from my glass.

“Okay, so you still drown your sorrows in wine.” She grins. “But Nina Anderson wearing her heart on her sleeve and putting it on the line for a man? You’ve changed.”

“Hmm, maybe. Twenty-nine years and you’re finally rubbing off on me.”

“Nah, you haven’t reached my soppiness level yet.” She rests her head back on the pillow, her hands on her stomach.

“So, what now?” she asks after a beat.

I sigh, internally cringing as I think about everything I said to him in the elevator. “I go into hiding. Never look him in the eye again.”

“You waited twenty-seven years for your pixie, Mason.” She mocks in a stupid voice. “I would wait forever for you.”

I rip the pillow out from under her head and whack it on her face. “Piss off!”

“You’re not going into hiding, although that was deep even for my standards.”

“You aren’t helping.”

She sits up on the bed, crossing her legs. “You need a plan.”

I don’t move, too comfortable lying back against the pillows. “What sort of plan?”

“He can’t trust you if he doesn’t let you in, right?”

“Right.” I nod.

“So you make him let you in.”

I snicker, giving her a look. “You don’t make a man like Mason Lowell do anything.”

“You can. I’ve seen it. You bring that man to his knees.”

“Yeah and look how that ended.”

“Stop being such a negative ninny! Do you want him? You, Ellis, and Mason, as a family one day.”

More than anything. “Yes.”

“You made decisions that in hindsight were rash and maybe wrong, but I get it. I understood when it happened, and I still do now—you did nothing wrong, so don’t beat yourself up over it for another second. But Mason doesn’t understand it, he just thinks you ran because it was easier than staying.”

“So, the plan is to make him understand why I ran?”

“No, you said it yourself… you don’t make a man like Mason Lowell do anything. You.”

She points. “Make him want you so bad, he has no other option but to let you in. Make him want you so bad he can’t tell you no. Then in time, he will see that you aren’t going anywhere.”

“That sounds terrible. I’m not desperate.”

“No? Then let him go.” She shrugs as if it’s that simple.

I glare at her, knowing that the only way to show Mason I’m serious is to build the foundations again.

And that’s what I will do.

* * *

Luce: Operation bring him to his MF knees is ON!!! You got this girl!!! Look hot today xo

I smileup at my phone, and Lucy’s obvious attempt to hype me.

Do I want to pursue Mason? I know I told him I’d wait for him, which was utterly mortifying for me, and I doubted the words the minute they left my mouth. But to actively pursue him… it seems… kind of exciting.

Rolling over, I instantly panic, remembering that Ellis was in my bed last night. He isn’t in my bed right now. I rip the covers off and run out of my open doorway, catching my toe on the frame and hurling myself into the bathroom door opposite my room.

Pain radiates through my head and neck, and I reach for my pinkie as I rock back and forth on the floor. “Ow, ow, ow, ow!”

“What the fuck, dude?” Megan appears in the hallway, shaking her head as she watches me, then she turns to walk away.

“Ellis?” I gasp. “Where is he?”

“Having his Weetabix!” she yells over her shoulder.

“Holy shit.” I check my pinkie is still facing forward and not hanging off and then fall back to the floorboard. “My heart. I think you broke my heart.”

“We’re on a mission or something. Lucy woke me up last night and filled me in.” Her head comes into my line of sight, Ellis on her hip and a steaming cup of coffee in her other hand. “Go shower and change into something tight.”

“I don’t know if I’m going in today.” I pull myself up and take the cup of coffee after giving Ellis a kiss. “She actually sent you over here to get me out of bed?” I question.

“No. She sent me over here to get Ellis up and out of bed. You need to go wash and do your hair and then you’re going to work. Stop throwing yourself a pity party and crack on.”

She disappears into the kitchen, and I follow, placing my mug down and taking Ellis from her.

“I need some time with Ellis today.”

“You have tomorrow off, don’t you? And the weekend.”

I nod and she smirks. “One more day and you get uninterrupted Ellis time.”

Deep down I know I have to go in—I can’t and wouldn’t let Logan down. I just wish I didn’t have to leave Ellis again.

“Now will you go and make yourself look like a hot goddess! You have a five p.m. PT session tonight and we need you looking fire.”

“You do realise that by five p.m. I will be a hot sweaty mess?”

“Hot, sweaty mess sounds exactly like something Daddy would like a bite of, wouldn’t you agree, Ellis?”

I give her a look and try to cover his ears. “Don’t dirty talk about me to my son.”

“He doesn’t understand.” She waves me off, taking him back from my arms. “Do you have your old dance tights? The ones we ripped you for because we could see the crack of your ass.”

“Probably.” I frown.

“Wear those! And a sports bra, nothing else.”

“You do realise how cold it is out?”

“Yes, Grandma! And we’re trying to find you a man to keep you warm at night. You’re welcome. Now go!” She spins me around and slaps my butt, pushing me back into the hallway.

Reluctantly, I pull open my drawer and search for my tights and bra. I chuck them on my bed and disappear to the shower. I say reluctantly, but if I’m being honest, there is nothing reluctant about my need for Mason Lowell.

* * *

Mase

Henry is leantover the reception desk whispering something in Gemma’s ear when I walk through the gym doors at five past five. Neither of them see me, but I make myself known by clearing my throat as I pass.

“Do you have to lie across the furniture, Evans?” He rears his head back, a smug smile transforming his face a second later. “What’s that look?”

“Nothing.” He chuckles.

I don’t like the bastard. Never did and never will. Logan insisted on taking him on but if it was up to me, I never would’ve had him loitering around the customers.

“You have a good workout this evening, Mr Lowell.” Gemma smirks, pushing on Henry’s chest and busying herself on the computer.

Gemma rarely speaks to me which I’m sure is all down to her jerk-off boyfriend, but her comment has me frowning as I climb the steps to the main floor.

It doesn’t last long, though, because Nina fucking Anderson.

My kryptonite.

My girl.

My Pixie.

My undoing.

And undoing she does, because right now I don’t know if she is the one breaking the walls I’ve built between us or if I’m fighting my way out all on my own.

She’s on the bike wearing nowhere near enough fucking clothes. Her top is a scrap of stretchy material that I could easily rip off her with one hand. It barely covers her tits, leaving the skin exposed at her ribs.

I itch to grasp her there.

To feel her skin beneath my hands. Feel her breathe.

She moves to stand on the pedals, as if she knows I’m standing behind her. As if she knows my cock is trying to knock the motherfucking wall down all by himself.

That ass.

That fucking ass.

As if sensing my presence, she flicks her eyes over her shoulder. A smile lights up her face and the dimple that pops on her cheek is like a sucker punch to the gut.

“Hey!”

No words leave me. I can only watch her as she pushes the pedals round on the bike, her legs and ass motioning in small circles. My thumb runs along my bottom lip, and then I pinch my cheeks between my thumb and fingers. “What are you wearing?” I ask.

She frowns, but it’s all cute and nothing like her.

“It’s my work clothes.”

“Are you dancing?”

“Well, unless you’re about to come dance with me, I’d say no.” She chuckles and comes to a stop, climbing from the bike.

Is that what it would take to get her to dance again?

“I’ll dance with you.”

Her step falters, confusion mixed with shock washing over her face. “What?”

“If that’s what you wanted, I’d dance with you.”

She watches me, her eyes intense and searching.

When she doesn’t say anything, I walk over to the weights where I start to stretch.

“Sorry!” she says after a minute, shaking herself off as she comes to stand in front of me. She starts to pull her hair up into a ponytail and her stupidly small top rises. I try not to look at her, knowing I won’t be able to control myself if I do.

Does she see what she does to me? See what’s happening in my damn gym shorts right now? I have the urges of a sixteen-year-old boy.

“Testosterone-filled teenage boys,” she mutters, dipping slightly to catch my eye and smirking at me.

The gall of the girl.

She’s fucking with me and enjoying it.

“Watch it,” I warn.

“What?” she exclaims. She knows what she’s doing.

I shake my head and drop back to the weight bench.

She steps up to my head.

“Nina—”

“I’m spotting you.”

I run my hand down my face, feeling hot and frustrated. “I don’t need a fucking spotter.”

“Are you sure?” She bends at the waist, leaning in to shake the bar above my head and effectively shaking her tits. “You dropped one like this not that long ago. See, I have the scar to prove it.” Leaning even closer, she exposes her neck to me, running the tips of her fingers from the small red scar on her chin, right down to the tip of her puckered nipple on her left breast.

I snap.

* * *

Nina

It worked.

The proof is in the way he bolts from the bench, grasping my hand in his as he pulls me from the gym. I can tell he doesn’t know where he’s going, but the decision is made when he takes the steps to reception.

Gemma and Henry are sitting at the computer, and both of them look up as we rush past.

I should protest, right? Act like I’m being taken against my will.

“Not a fucking word,” Mason tells them, his voice like molten lava.

His face is hard as he walks through the luxury changing rooms. I already know I won’t let anything happen here, but I still want to know how far I can push him. Because right now I’m betting it’s pretty damn far.

He finds a cubicle tucked away in the back corner and drags me inside, then locks the door behind him.

“Mase.” I grin.

“Shush a minute.” He keeps his back to me.

When he doesn’t turn to face me, I reach out, dragging my hand down the centre of his back and then step around and in front of him.

“You said you would dance with me.” I smile up at him and it’s real. I’m not messing with him.

“Apparently I’d do fucking anything for you,” he rasps out.

“Yeah?” I tease my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to sound confident, but the way my stomach coils tight at his words has me faltering a little.

He reaches for me fast and I let him. Our mouths clash together in an all tongue and teeth kiss, and he instantly demands more. My back hits the door and he lifts me, lining himself up then pinning me with his hips.

Our lips remain locked. Slow, long, drawn-out kisses that make my body vibrate with a deeper need. The need to sear him into my soul for an eternity.

Never in my life has something felt so right.

I pull his bottom lip between mine and suck until he draws back. He rolls his hips into me hard and the sound that leaves him as I release the now red puffy flesh… it tells me one of two things:

1. We are moments away from him being inside me.

2. Mason. Lowell. Has. Lost. All. Control.

He pulls at his black shorts, lowering them until his cock is freed. A whimper slips past my lips as his body brushes mine. It’s involuntary, but my mind’s way of snapping me back to reality.

His lips slide up my neck and he sucks at the sensitive spot just below my ear. “Mason,” I moan.

“I need you.” His body visibly shakes as he steps back from me, lowering me so he can slide his hands into my gym tights.

“Stop,” I tell him, halting his hands with my own. “It’s not that I don’t want you.” I look up at him through my lashes. I reach out and gently run my nail down the vein in his cock, making it jolt. “But you don’t trust me.” I pout, trying to keep the mood light.

His head drops to the side, my name a stark warning on his red, swollen lips. “Nina.”

I slide the lock I had my hand braced on and then slip from the cubicle while he tries to conceal his erection.

“Nina!” he hisses.

I smile at him as I slip back inside just as fast. “I’m just playing with you. I have to show you, right?”

His nostrils flare and I know he’s as hot for it as I am. He’s teetering on the edge, and it shows in every inch of his virile body.

“You wanna finish yourself off?” I nod to his hand, which is cupping him. “Then we can go back to your session.”

He nods. Nods his cute little boyish head at me like an obedient puppy.

“What do you want, Mase?”

His eyes fall closed as he pulls himself once. “Touch me.”

“Nuh-uh.” His eyes pop wide. “I need you to trust me and that’s going to take time.”

“Nina—”

“But I won’t leave you,” I tell him. Reaching up, I palm my breast; my nipples are sensitive and pebble instantly. “My need for you, Mason.” I squeeze myself over my bra. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It starts here.” I drop my hand to my stomach, watching as he starts to work himself, his eyes fixed on my hand. “Then it spreads to here.” I cup my pussy and he lets out a groan. I don’t allow myself the pleasure though. This isn’t about me. “Then, when I think the need has eased and I’ve been completely undone,” I flex my fingers knowing he’s watching, then slide my hand from my centre, lifting it to cover my heart, “you hit right here.”

“Fuck.” He pumps twice more and stills, his cum spilling out and onto his abs.

I step up to him gingerly knowing I’ve pushed him and completely ambushed him during his PT session. Our gazes don’t waver from one another. His eyes heavy and lust filled. “You may not trust me right now, Bossman.” I swipe my finger over his abs then dip it into my mouth, not losing his eyes for a second. “But you will.”

It might be backwards, and a little unorthodox but I hope I’ve proved a point. I push up onto the tips of my toes and kiss the corner of his mouth before I walk out of the cubicle.