Southern Sunshine by Natasha Madison

Chapter 17

Reed

"You look like shit," Quinn says, coming into the barn in his workout clothes, looking at me as I get off the treadmill.

"Right back at you,” I say, looking at his bloodshot eyes. “You are even walking hunched over.”

"That’s what happens when you fall asleep in a rocking chair." He closes his eyes. “I should just go and nap over there." He points at the mats in the corner. “No one would know." I laugh at him.

"Why the fuck would you fall asleep in a rocking chair?" I ask, taking a sip of water and smirk at him. “Is it because Willow kicked you out of bed?"

"No," he hisses. “It’s because Grace is teething, and nothing would help her. Except rocking." He puts his head back and rubs his neck. “What’s your excuse?"

"Just thinking,” I say, not sure what to say just yet. Before announcing to everyone I have a daughter, I want to get to know her. "I’m going to head out. Take a nap,” I say, walking out and then turning. “Besides, I heard dad bods are all the rage these days."

"Fuck you,” he says, and I laugh, running back to the house and jumping in the shower. I slip on another pair of jeans and a T-shirt, grabbing the keys to the truck and walking out of the house.

After I spoke with Ethan, the decision was already cemented in my head. I made a list of things that I had to do, and the first step was going to the bank. Walking in, I nod at a couple of people. “How may I help you?" the blonde behind the desk asks when I step up.

“I called Clarence this morning,” I say. “He was going to have an envelope ready for me.” She turns and grabs a stack of envelopes. “It’s for Reed Barnes.” She looks through the white envelopes, finally finding mine.

“Here it is.” She hands it to me, and I grab it, putting it in my back pocket. Walking out, I put my sunglasses on and head over to my grandfather’s barn.

I park the truck in the driveway and walk over through the backyard, the same backyard I met my daughter in for the first time. The same backyard that I want my daughter to grow up running in, but I know that I am getting ahead of myself. I look back at the house to see if my grandmother is there, but I don’t see her. I walk past the fence and into the barn seeing Asher there with my grandfather as they go over something. They both look up at me. “Boy, you look …" I hold up my hand.

"If one more person tells me I look like shit,” I say, shaking my head, and they both laugh.

"If the shoe fits," my grandfather says. “You look like a man on a mission."

"I kind of am,” I say and then look at Asher, who senses I need to speak to my grandfather alone.

"I have to get back home to Amelia,” he says. “She is going to the doctor for her forty-second-week checkup,” he says, and my grandfather chuckles. “Also, she hates me. But I’ve been told it’ll be good once she has the baby."

I roll my lips. “She told me she’s castrating you as soon as she has the baby." His face goes white.

"It’s not my fault that I make big babies." He throws up his hands, turning and walking out.

"Poor son of a bitch," my grandfather says, watching Asher get into the sheriff’s truck. "She is going to eat him alive."

"I think he’ll be fine,” I say, then turn to look at my grandfather, who is just staring at me.

"What’s gotten into you?" he asks.

"I want to buy a horse,” I say, and he just looks at me.

"You have a horse,” he says. “She’s parked in stall three."

"I want to buy another horse,” I say, and I know he’ll have questions.

“So pick a horse,” he says, and then I shake my head.

“I want to pay for it,” I say, and he throws his head back and laughs.

“You aren’t paying for shit, son,” he says. “If I take your money, you know what is going to happen?” I roll my eyes. “One, your grandmother is going to skin my hide alive." He holds up one finger and then another. “Two, your father is going to come over and rip up the check. And three, I’ll just give it back to you when I die."

I put my head back. “Why do you always have to do the ‘when I die’ shit?” I say.

"If you don’t want to hear it, don’t come throwing your money at me,” he says. “We just got seven new horses this morning. Quinn is going to have to take a couple to train for his therapy camp, but I think I have one in mind for you," he says, turning now and walking out of the barn, and I follow him. "Let’s see if we think alike." The sound of horses running makes me look into the enclosed fence area. We walk up to the logged fence, and I stand next to my grandfather as we look at the horses. My eyes go to one horse in particular. “Go pick," my grandfather says, and I nod at him.

I take off my shirt and put it on the fence. “Is there a reason you are taking off your shirt?" Ethan says, coming in with Gabriel by his side. “You planning on buying her dinner, too?"

"Still jealous about my six-pack." I wink at him and turn to walk into the area. “You’ll get yours back."

"I still have my six-pack!” he shouts at me. “It’s just four at the moment."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself." I clap my hands and walk over to the caramel-colored horse. She looks up at me, and I see her beautiful brown eyes. The hair on the top of her head is white, and she has a white mark between her eyes. She looks at me up and down and takes a step back from me.

"I’m not going to hurt you." I put up my hand, and she takes a couple more steps away from me. “It’s okay." Her tail goes right and left as she waits for me. “I’m not going to hurt you." She lets me touch her before moving away, her eyes on my hand the whole time. “No one is going to hurt you, girl,” I say and take a step to her, rubbing her neck. “I have a little girl,” I say, my chest filling up so much I feel like it’s going to explode. “She’s amazing, and she’s beautiful. She’s kind, and she loves horses." The horse puffs out now as if she understands me. “And I want her to have a horse that loves her as much as I do." I make my way to the other side of the horse, seeing if she is going to do anything. “Okay, let’s take you for a ride,” I say as I mount her.

She doesn’t buck me off, so I’m already winning. “Attagirl,” I say to her and make her trot. “There you go,” I say.

"Why isn’t he wearing a shirt?" I look over and see Emily with her hand over her eyes to block the sun while she looks at me.

"He thinks he’s John Wayne," my grandfather says, and I laugh. I take her for a ride in the forest to see how she reacts to sounds, and she is perfect. A touch scared, but she’ll do. I ride her back to the barn. Getting off and grabbing the reins, I bring her to the water. She walks with me slowly, and when we get close to the barn, she stops.

"I’m here,” I say, and she takes one step and then another, stopping every four steps to look around to see where she is.

"Hey, John Wayne," my grandfather says, coming out of his office, laughing. "How did she do?"

"She did okay in the forest; the noises didn’t spook her,” I say, getting her in the stall and showing her the fresh water. "She’ll be fine." I rub her neck. “I’ll take her."

“Already put it down in the book,” he says, and I laugh.

"What happened to the computer?" I ask, knowing full well how much he hates it. It’s as old-school as it gets. It took four years for him to agree to the flip phone he still has.

"That thing got jammed." He shakes his head. “Now Harlow comes in the morning, takes all my papers, and does what she needs to do with them."

I laugh now and walk out of the barn. “Thanks, Grandpa,” I say, walking to his desk and putting my shirt back on. "I’ll come back later today." I think to myself, hoping I can convince Hazel to let me bring Sofia here. “Or tomorrow."

He looks at me. “This is your home," he says. “You never have to tell me when you are going to be here. You come when you want to come."

I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that right now. “Thank you, Grandpa,” I say. “For everything."

He nods, unsure what I’m talking about, and I know that I’m going to have to sit down with him and tell him. After my parents, he is the one I want to tell the most. I walk away from him, heading to my truck and going to the one place I’ve been wanting to go back to since this morning.

I pull up in the road that leads to the house and park behind the truck. I get out now and look over through the tall grass and see her hopping by herself. I watch her, and I swear to God I can’t explain it, but I would do anything in the world for her. She looks up now and sees me. “Uncle Reed!" she yells and runs to me, pushing her hair behind her ears. I squat down now as she gets close. “Did you think about me?" she asks, and I look at her smiling. “My ears were ringing." She laughs, and I want to take her and pull her to me and kiss her neck. I want to tell her how sorry I am for not being there for her first step. I want to tell her how sorry I am for missing everything.

"I thought about you all day,” I say, blinking away the tears. “Where is your mom?" I ask, looking around.

"She is making me cookies ’cause I fell, and I bleeded.” She points at her knee. “Over a fucking rock.” I roll my lips.

“I don’t think you should say that word,” I say. “Where did you fall?”

“Over there.” She points at the tall grass. “I didn’t see it, and I fell."

I reach out and touch her knee with my finger. “I bet you were really brave,” I say, and she shrugs. "What kind of cookie is Mom making?"

"Chocolate chip." She smiles now. “Is that your favorite?"

"It is." I don’t add in that it is now. "It’s my favorite."

The door opens now. “Sofia!" Hazel yells her name, and her eyes find mine. "Come get cookies."

I look back to see Hazel standing on the porch. “Momma," Sofia says. “Uncle Reed was thinking about me all day. My ears were ringing." She starts walking, then turns and comes back to slip her hand in mine. “Come on, I’ll share my cookies with you."