At First Hate by K.A. Linde

UNC

February 5, 2010

Olivia stopped me at the door to the master’s level Chemistry class we had together. “Hey, Marley, wait up.”

I stalled in the doorway to let her catch up, Sarah and Carly right behind her. We fell into step as we left the class and went out onto UNC’s campus.

My advisor had gotten me into advanced courses for spring semester junior year and all of senior year. I was doing dual-enrollment for my BA/MA. The only requirement was that some of the classes were shared with UNC. Since it was only a few miles away, that wasn’t a problem with most people. I, however, hadn’t had a car. Gran had gotten me a small fixer-upper, and I had an assistantship in my Chemistry department to help pay for the parking fees. It didn’t make it any weirder that I was taking classes at Chapel Hill.

Olivia pushed her thick-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her pale, freckled nose and smoothed back her stick-straight red hair. “So, we were wondering if you wanted to go out with us after class. We were thinking we’d meet on Franklin,” Olivia said with a wink.

I laughed. “Uh, no thanks.”

Franklin Street was the main stretch of bars right off of the UNC campus. It was the it place to be seen if you went to school here, which I did not.

“Come on, amiguita,” Carly said. She nudged me with her hip and smiled brightly. Her light-brown skin practically glowed, and her thick, curly, brown hair was tied up tight at the top of her head. “We know you’ve never been out on Franklin, and it’s a rite of passage.”

“Yes, but I’m a Duke student,” I reminded them.

Sarah wrinkled her nose. “We try not to hold that against you.”

I laughed. “Well, this isn’t my scene.”

“It’s not all bad,” Olivia said. “I did my undergrad at Colby College up in Maine, so I don’t get the whole UNC thing either, but it’s still fun.”

“Maine,” Carly scoffed. “I came from Puerto Rico to North Carolina. Talk about different.”

We all laughed as Carly dissolved into rapid Spanish.

Sarah shook her head at the lot of us. “I’m the only UNC undergrad. Born and raised in the Outer Banks, baby. And I am telling you that Franklin is better than whatever you have over at Duke.” She swished her natural corkscrew curls to the side and smiled wide with her gorgeous, full lips. Sarah was a knockout with onyx skin and a figure that I could only dream about.

“You would say that,” I said with a laugh.

“I would,” she agreed.

Sometimes it still blew my mind that I was in classes with these girls. That, as a junior, I was getting to take classes with PhD students. People who were actually doing research. It thrilled and terrified me. I’d spent so long surrounded by people who couldn’t quite keep up or who, like Samar, got mad when I excelled. I didn’t want to lose these friendships over some silly bar scene. It wasn’t like I had to cheer UNC on during basketball season.

“Yeah. All right. Just tell me where to meet you.”

Olivia whooped. “Yes! Excellent. Let me text you.”

I couldn’t believe they’d roped me into this. I would never hear the end of it with Brin and Lora. Still, I hustled home for rehearsal, going through the motions. We were in full swing for basketball season with a game yesterday and next week. But at least nothing tonight. Plus, rehearsal was only an hour to go over our dance for the game. Then, I rushed into the shower and prayed my curls would be dry in time to meet them on Franklin.

As expected, Brinley scoffed when I told her that I already had plans. “Franklin? It’s one thing to take classes there. Are they going to turn you into a Carolina girl? Are you going to start wearing baby blue?”

“Don’t blaspheme,” I said with a grin. “How do I look?”

“Cute, but no…” Brinley dived into her closet and came back out with a black miniskirt and white tank. “Wear this.”

“It’s thirty degrees outside.”

“Wear a jacket,” she said with an arched eyebrow. “You haven’t dated since Samar. Maybe these new girls can find you a hottie to hook up with since you don’t care for anything Lora or I throw your way.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Whatever. I don’t have to date. I’m busy.”

Brinley rolled her eyes. “Just wear the outfit.”

I shimmied into the tiny skirt and shrugged. She was right. I did look hot. Even if it wasn’t what I normally wore. It had been months since Samar. Maybe it was time to find someone else. There was never a good time with everything I had going on, but I did miss sex.

“Fine. I’ll wear this.”

She snorted. “Yes, girl. Have fun but not too much fun. We’ll miss you.”

“You could come.”

Brin held her hand up. “Don’t even suggest it.”

I laughed and hugged her before heading out back to Chapel Hill. I managed to find parking in a lot a few blocks behind Franklin and headed to the aptly named Library. It looked like any other college bar with a dance floor full of sweating college students. I found the girls near the bar, and we did a round of shots before joining the throng. They claimed they wanted me to have the “full experience.” So, we jumped from one shitty bar to the next, and I hated to admit it, but I was having fun. A lot of fun. It was different than Duke, and I’d never tell my friends, but it was just as good of a time.

“Let’s go to He’s Not,” Olivia yelled over the music at whatever current bar we were in. “My friend is there.”

“Your ‘friend,’ ” Carly said with air quotes. “You mean, jevo.”

I arched an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“Fuck buddy,” Sarah said with a laugh. “Context clues, friend.”

“Shut up!” Olivia said, turning beet red. “He’s really hot.”

“Well, let’s go meet him,” Carly said with a wink. “I hope he has hot friends.”

“Seconded!” I said, raising my hand.

We all laughed and left the sweaty bar behind. We trekked down Franklin and through a back alley that led to the famous He’s Not while the girls regaled me with the origin story of its name as we walked. Apparently, Michael Jordan used to go to the bar when he played for UNC. People would constantly call the place, trying to find out if he was there, and they had to say so many times, “He’s not here,” that the name just stuck.

“Did you hear the story about the UNC girl who dated that senator?” Sarah asked once we stepped into the bar.

I nodded. “Oh my God, I did. It was on the news. She was a reporter here, and they hooked up?”

“Yeah. Mega scandal. I was friends with one of her friends,” Sarah confessed.

“Seriously? Did she ever tell you what really happened?”

Sarah shrugged. “Victoria is Victoria. If you knew her, you’d know,” she said with a laugh. “We had some good times though. All I know is that I don’t blame the reporter, Liz, one bit. Brady Maxwell is hot as sin.”

“Oh,” Carly gushed. “Are you talking about the senator? Us Puerto Ricans deserve the right to vote anyway, but let me tell you, I wish that I could just so I could vote for him. Hot, smart, and dating a UNC student? Sign me up.”

We all burst into laughter, and I was still laughing as Olivia turned around to introduce us to her little friends with benefits situation.

“This is who I was telling you about,” Olivia gushed.

And standing next to her was Derek Ballentine.

“Marley?” he asked in exasperation.

“Hey, Derek,” I said with a slow smile as payback blossomed invitingly in my mind.

“You two know each other?” Olivia asked, pushing her glasses back up again in a sign that I knew from our few weeks in class meant she was uncertain.

“Oh, we go way back,” I said, looking down and then up at him from under my lashes.

His jaw set. “Can I talk to you in private for a minute?”

Olivia looked up at him in alarm. “What for?”

He smiled at her, trying to go for reassuring and missing the mark. “It’ll just be a minute, babe.”

He kissed her cheek, ignoring her distress. Then, he grabbed my arm and practically dragged me away from my friends.

“Ouch, you’re hurting me,” I snapped at him.

He released me immediately. “Sorry, but what the fuck are you doing here? And how do you know Olivia? And don’t you fucking think about ruining this.”

I rubbed my arm. It hadn’t been that hard, but I might as well milk it. “I’m here because the girls invited me out.”

“How? You go to Duke.”

“Some of the graduate-level classes have students on both campuses,” I explained.

“But you’re a junior.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m getting my bachelor’s and master’s at the same time.”

“In neuroscience?”

“Yes. Some of us are smart and don’t need a fifth year,” I grumbled.

He smirked. “I’m taking a fifth year for basketball eligibility, not because of academics. And anyway, none of this is important. Just… don’t do whatever that wicked head of yours is thinking right now.”

“What would that be, Derek?” I asked.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Oh, what? Like kiss you in front of your new girlfriend?” He glared at me. “Should I tell her we’re not sleeping together? Would she believe me?”

He huffed. “This feud has gone on long enough.”

“I thought it was over in high school,” I reminded him. “You’re the one who fucked up my relationship.” I glanced over his shoulder and saw Carly and Sarah trying to console a clearly upset Olivia. I liked her and didn’t want to hurt her. “Anyway, you’re doing more damage just by talking to me.”

He looked back and saw Olivia’s concern. “Just stay out of it.”

I held my hands up. “You’re digging your own grave.”

Derek just walked back to the group. He slung an arm around Olivia, who perked up when his attention was back on her. Sarah and Carly were being over the top to try to get around the awkwardness. Derek’s friends left to get shots for everyone.

“So, how do you two know each other?” I asked Olivia after she downed a tequila shot with a grimace. I declined a drink to try and sober up enough to drive back to Durham and opted for water instead.

Olivia’s cheeks heated again, and she looked up at Derek. “We met in class.”

I glanced between them, saw the smug look on Derek’s face, and knew. I just knew. “Oh God, are you his TA?”

“What?” Olivia gasped. Then, she leaned into me. “How did you know that?”

“Olivia!” Sarah cried.

Carly grimaced. “Seriously? You could get kicked out of the program.”

“It’s fine!” Olivia said. “I swear…”

Derek shook his head. “Literally, how did you know?”

I shrugged. “Educated guess. I know you.”

“And how do you know each other again?” Olivia asked.

“Derek,” I offered, holding my hand out to let him explain.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “We know each other from high school.”

“Didn’t you go to an all-boys private school?”

“Oh yeah, he’s a Holy Cross boy,” I said like it was an insult. Which… when we’d said it at the public school, it was.

“No one says it like that,” Derek said. “They how we said St. Catherine’s girls.”

“They said it that way about you,” I teased.

Olivia cleared her throat as Derek seethed. “So, how did you meet if you went to different schools?”

“We met at a Halloween party. No, wait, it was a football game first.”

“Marley’s friend dated my friend.”

“Okayyy,” Olivia said, drawing out the word.

Olivia looked wounded by the whole thing, which I hated. I really liked her. Derek hadn’t known Samar when he kissed me. He’d just seen revenge. I didn’t want to hurt Olivia. So, I backed off. Derek would probably sink this one himself. I was honestly surprised that she would do something so reckless as to date a student. Even one as attractive and charismatic as Derek.

The night wound down quickly after that. It was already near bar close. I was glad that I’d stopped drinking when I did so that I could drive home. The rest of the girls were sloshy. Sarah was making out with one of Derek’s friends. Carly was dancing with another. It was my time to bail. I said my good-byes and headed back to the parking lot, getting on the phone with Brin as I walked so I wouldn’t be alone.

“So, how was it?”

“Fun until I ran into Derek.”

Brin gasped. “The guy who kissed you when you were dating Samar?”

“Yep.”

“Oh my God. Did you kiss him again?”

“He’s seeing one of my friends.”

“Bummer. He’s hot.”

I laughed. Oh, Brin. Priorities.

Then, my phone beeped as another call came through. I didn’t recognize the number, but it had a 912 area code, which meant it was someone from Savannah.

“Hey, Brin, I have another call. Let me call you back.”

“Okay. Stay safe. Love you.”

I clicked over and answered, “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

I froze outside of the parking lot to the sound of Derek’s voice in my ear. “Derek?”

“Yes. Where are you?”

“I’m in a parking lot?”

“Where?”

“I don’t go to UNC. I have no idea.” I glanced at the nearest street sign and told him where I was.

“Don’t move. I’ll meet you there.”

“What? Why?” I asked, but he’d already hung up the phone. “And how did you get my number?” I muttered to myself.

Derek had never called me. I hadn’t even known that he had my number. I’d certainly never given it to him. Plus, I had no idea why he was coming to see me. I’d backed off so as not to hurt Olivia. He couldn’t blame me this time.

He appeared under the streetlight. He wore khakis and a Carolina-blue polo with a navy three-quarter zip pulled over top. I huddled in my jacket, shivering from the cold. I should have started the heater in the car while I waited.

“There you are,” he said with half of a smile. He wasn’t pleased.

“What happened?”

“Why do you think something happened?”

I shrugged. “I can read your expression.”

“Olivia broke it off.”

“Ah,” I said softly. “Sorry.”

“Are you?”

“I mean… not really. She could lose her entire life for this. It doesn’t seem like a risk worth taking.”

He huffed. “And you don’t think you had anything to do with this?”

I held my hands up. “Hey, I didn’t tell her anything she didn’t already know.”

“This has to stop.” He slid his hands into his pockets. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“I wouldn’t be doing this, but you did it to me, Derek.”

He ground his teeth together and nodded. “Fine. Look, let’s bet on it.”

I laughed. “Bet on what?”

“This. Us. When UNC beats Duke in basketball this weekend, you’ll stop ruining my relationships.”

“And when Duke wins, you’ll what? Stop ruining mine? As far as I’m concerned, you’ve done a lot worse in all of this.”

“I was actually into Olivia, you know?”

“No, I didn’t know. You acted the way you do with everyone else.”

“And how is that?” he demanded.

“Expendable,” I spat. “You’re not even really mad that it ended. You’re only mad that I had something to do with it.”

“That’s not true.”

“If you were actually upset, you would be following her home to beg her to reconsider, but you’re not.”

He stilled at that comment. As if he’d never had anyone dissect him before. I didn’t know when I’d become the expert on Derek, but I’d had enough time to think about all the girls he had gone through in high school and the way he treated everyone, including me. I’d been determined to be the one girl who didn’t fall for his stupid tricks after that kiss. And he’d treated Olivia the same as all the rest.

“Fine. If Duke wins, then I won’t get back at you for what happened with Olivia,” he told me and held out his hand.

“Fine.” Then, I put my hand in his and shook. “Good luck next week, Derek. You’re going to need it.”