At First Hate by K.A. Linde

UNC

February 10, 2010

Sarah looked at me in exasperation. “Girl, what are you wearing?”

Olivia and Carly looked equally uncomfortable.

“Seriously?” Olivia asked.

I looked down at my outfit—a Blue Devils T-shirt, Dancing Devil shorts, and a blue Duke D logo on my cheek. “What?”

“When you said that you wanted us to get you a ticket to the Duke-UNC game, we knew that you were going to cheer for Duke,” Sarah said. “We didn’t think you’d dress like the enemy in the student section.”

“You’re going to get so much shit,” Olivia said.

I shrugged. “Who cares? Technically, I am a UNC student as well. Sort of. Unofficially.”

Carly rolled her eyes. “You’d better hope we win, or I don’t know if we’ll be able to get you out of the Dean Dome alive.”

“How did you get an extra ticket anyway? We can never get them at Duke,” I said with a wink. “Someone offered me ten thousand dollars for my floor pass last year. Just some stranger on the street. It was crazy.”

“Whoa,” Carly whispered.

“I pulled some strings,” Sarah said. “My dad knows some of the coaches from when he went to UNC. He was able to weasel out one extra ticket. And then you blaspheme in Duke attire.”

I laughed and followed the girls through the line and into the Dean Dome. The stadium was much bigger than Cameron, nearly twenty-two thousand to Duke’s nine thousand. But I thought Cameron had more charm while the Dean Dome was much more modern and fancy. I got a seat in the bleachers, ignoring the incredulous stares from Tar Heels fans.

“Amiguita, you enjoy it,” Carly said with a head shake. “You’re twisted.”

I was a pot-stirrer to the core. No one could shake my love of Duke. Not after years of TIP and a full-ride scholarship to the university. UNC hadn’t offered me anything like that.

The crowd went wild as the UNC basketball team came out and made a lap on the court. Each starter was announced. I ignored them to find Derek in the lineup. He wasn’t a starter for UNC, but he was a constant sub for the defense. He was completely in the zone when I found him in his white-and-Carolina-blue home uniform. Ballentine was written in block letters across the back. I’d seen him in uniform before, but it was different on his home turf.

I’d always been attracted to Derek. It was just his mouth that got in the way. Here with an entire stadium cheering him on, everything felt inexplicably different. His charm was next level. The smiles to the camera and crowd undeniably alluring. He cast a spell on the stands that day, and I was captured with the rest of them.

Even as I watched and cheered for Duke to take him down. I had a bet on the line. I couldn’t lose focus. Not even to Derek. Especially Derek.

“He’s amazing tonight,” Olivia said longingly.

And she was right. Derek had been subbed in with ten minutes left in the second half, and he was playing like his life was on the line. Which made me chuckle to think about. Was he playing like this to beat me? Could he see our bet in the faces of all of the Duke players?

“He is,” I agreed.

Olivia and I hadn’t talked about her breaking it off with Derek. I could see that she wasn’t over him. I hardly blamed her either. It hadn’t ended because she wasn’t interested. It had ended because she had made a stupid decision and she was smart enough to recognize it before it blew up in her face.

I’d thought that she’d be weird with me after it all, but she was the same bouncy, joyful Olivia as always. She could have hated me for being the one to point out that dating a student wasn’t just irresponsible but also potentially life-altering. They hadn’t even been that careful if they wanted it to be a secret. The entire school knew who he was. He was currently doing the thing they all loved him for.

But then something shifted. Derek was pulled out of the game at the two-minute warning. He argued with the coach, but he wasn’t having any of it and sent Derek to the bench. He flopped down, clearly boiling over with anger. Then, the game went to shit.

It hadn’t really been in UNC’s favor, but it had been close. And when the buzzer rang, Duke was up by ten. I screamed my head off as angry UNC students filed out around me. My friends hid their faces in disappointment and pretended like they didn’t know me. That was fine. We’d won. I’d won.

I filed out of the Dean Dome with my friends, reading over the texts from Brinley and Lora. Duke was partying all night to celebrate defeating our rival. I sent them a picture of me walking out of the stadium in my Duke outfit. A riot of laughter followed in our messages.

“I’ll see y’all next week in class,” I called to my friends.

Sarah sighed. “Could you be a little less excited?”

“Would you be if you were in my place?”

Carly playfully nudged Sarah. “Of course not. But that doesn’t make it easier.”

“It was a good game. It wasn’t even a blowout.” Though beating UNC by ten was a bit of a blowout in our long rivalry.

“They shouldn’t have taken Derek out,” Olivia groused. “He was on fire.”

“Ah, pobrecita. Let’s get you home,” she said with a laugh. “Good night, Marley!”

I waved them off as I headed to Derek’s house. He lived off of campus in a house that his dad had purchased for him. It was kind of ridiculous, but he’d let me park in one of the extra spots, so I didn’t have to pay for parking. For that, I was grateful.

I followed the mass exodus from the game and out past Franklin to Derek’s house. I shot him a text when I was almost there.

Guess that settles that.

Are you close to my place?

Yeah.

I’ll be there in a few minutes. My roommate should already be back. Wait for me.

I rolled my eyes. We’d bet. He’d lost. He wasn’t going to be able to weasel his way out of this one. But when I got to his house, I had no other option but to go inside. Someone had blocked me into Derek’s driveway. I wouldn’t be leaving until that person came back or we towed them.

So, I knocked on the door, and a lanky Black guy in full UNC garb answered.

“Wrong house,” he said and then nearly shut the door in my face.

I laughed and put my hand out. “Wait, I’m Derek’s friend. He told me to come inside and wait for him. My car is blocked in.” I pointed to my tiny little Civic.

“Well, that explains the extra car. Derek didn’t mention it.” His eyes narrowed at my attire, but he opened the door and let me inside. “How the hell does he know a Duke fan?”

“We went to high school together. Well, sort of.”

“You’re a St. Catherine’s girl?” he asked with an arched eyebrow.

“That would be a no. I went to public school. We crossed paths a few times. I’m Marley.”

I held my hand out, and he took it.

His mouth popped open. “Ohhh.”

I tilted my head. “What?”

“I’ve heard about you.”

My cheeks heated. “I don’t even want to know what Derek said. I’m sure it’s not true.”

He laughed. “I’m Kenny, by the way. And I bet some of it’s true. He’s never mentioned the same girl this much in exasperation. Whatever you’re doing to keep him on his toes, keep it up.” He headed toward the kitchen. “Beer?”

“Nah, I have to drive back.”

He guffawed. “Not anytime soon. Everyone will be out on Franklin, drowning their sorrows over the loss. You aren’t leaving until after midnight.”

“Ugh,” I groaned. “Then sure. Whatever you have is fine.”

“My kind of girl,” he said, reaching into the fridge and pulling out two beers.

He passed me one, and we sank into the couch to watch postseason coverage of the game. It was another hour before Derek finally showed up. Kenny and I had gone through a few beers each and started a game of Egyptian Ratscrew to pass the time. I currently had eighty percent of the deck of cards in my hands. Kenny was holding on to the game by a jack and queen.

He threw down the jack, confident that he’d win something valuable at least. Another jack came up out of my hand, and I dashed out, slapping the cards faster than he could even get his hand out.

“Noooo,” he cried dramatically. “Fuck, Mars. How are you so good at this game?”

“I have a twin brother,” I told him, taking his last hope of winning.

Derek glanced between us in confusion. His hair was still wet from the shower. His postgame UNC attire was all Nike gear. “Sorry that took longer than I thought.”

“I got blocked in,” I told him.

“Saw that.” He scratched his head. “What’s going on?”

“Egyptian Ratscrew, man,” Kenny said with a shake of his head. “I thought it was a game of chance. She has proven me wrong. She’s kicking my ass.”

“That sounds right.” Derek dropped his backpack at the door and went for his own beer.

“Grab me one of those while you’re at it,” Kenny said. Derek handed him one and took a long slug of his. “Also, you didn’t tell me your girl was a genius.”

Derek sputtered around the beer, “What?”

My cheeks heated again. “We’re not—”

“Right. Right,” Kenny said. “Mars was telling me all about this BA/MA program she’s in. She said she’d help me survive Organic Chemistry.”

“That’s nice of you. Mars?” Derek tripped over the name.

“My friends call me Mars.”

“I’ve only ever heard him call you Minivan as a nickname,” Kenny said with a laugh. “I don’t get it.”

“I drove a minivan in high school. Derek likes to make fun of me.”

“Derek, you’re such a dick,” Kenny said. He forfeited the rest of the deck. “I give up. Checkmate or whatever.” He glanced between us and then stood. “I’m going to see if Kristy’s gotten back to me.”

Then, he made himself scarce. I shuffled the deck the way Gramps had taught me. They waterfalled beautifully into place. I did it a few more times so that I didn’t have to look back up into Derek’s face. The way he’d been looking at me since he’d walked back inside his surprisingly large two-story home was unnerving. The last time he’d looked at me like that, he’d stuck his tongue down my throat in high school.

“Kenny’s nice,” I said.

“Yeah. He’s a cool guy.” He ran a hand back through his hair and then dropped into Kenny’s abandoned seat. “Best two out of three?”

“What?”

“The bet. Best two out of three?”

“We only have one more game against each other.”

“Regular season game. We’ll probably play each other in the postseason.”

My gaze drifted up to his eyes, which were almost blue against the Carolina blue of his jacket. Something hiccupped in my stomach at the sight. We were sitting close together. All I had to do was shift, and something could happen.

Derek must have realized the same thing. His eyes drifted down to my lips and back up. His hand came to rest on the card deck… over my hand. My pulse jumped in my throat, and time slowed. We could close the distance. We could give in to this, like we had that one time all those years ago.

But no. That wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to be another girl who fell at his feet. Kenny had just said that I was the only girl who kept him on his toes. He’d said it as a compliment. If I was going to have anything with Derek, it seemed safer to be the one he argued with rather than the one he threw away, like all the others.

So, I pulled my hand back and the cards with me. “I guess I can give you another chance,” I said with a smirk. “You’re going to have to step up your game, Ballentine.”

His eyes met mine again as he drew his hand back to himself. “I can do that.”

And for a second, I wasn’t sure if we were talking about basketball at all.