At First Hate by K.A. Linde

Duke

March 6, 2010

The final game of regular season was always exciting and sad. We were all ready to beat UNC and make our way into March Madness, but it also meant that Lora would be graduating in one month. Brinley and I had already signed a lease for our senior year together, but it wouldn’t be the same without the final member of our trio. It would be like me and Lila without Josie, which we’d actually had to deal with most of our lives and always missed her.

Lora stood at the front of the row with Hilary today, our two graduating seniors. Brin and I were directly behind them. We’d be taking over next year as captain and cocaptain.

And while all of that was on my mind, Derek Ballentine walked out onto the court inside Cameron to a rousing round of, “Hey, Derek. You suck!” from the student section.

I laughed along with everyone else, as they did it to every single UNC player as they were announced. Normally, we just yelled their name, almost welcoming, but no, for UNC, we had to let them know what we thought about them. Not that any of them reacted to it.

“That’s your Derek?” Brin asked as we settled into our first set of cheers.

I didn’t quibble with the phrasing. “Yep.”

“Is it bad to say that he’s even hotter in uniform?”

No. No, it was not.

The game started off like any other rivalry—dirty. Tempers were hot. Adrenaline was high. Neither wanted to give an inch. But it was undeniable that Duke was the better team this year. We hadn’t lost a home game all season, and in the first half, we were up by double digits. I’d never seen anything like it. After three years in a row of losses to UNC here in Cameron, we’d all braced for the worst. Watched some of the UNC guys flash four fingers as they walked in like they were going to conquer our home one more time. But this year, it wasn’t in the cards.

In fact, it ended up being a blowout. Like, never in a million years had I thought we’d beat UNC by thirty points when Derek and I started this bet. Cameron Crazies were literally losing their minds, screaming as the buzzer rang for the end of the game. I hugged Brin, who was crying tears of joy.

The band started playing again, and we cheered and cheered until we were finally dismissed. Most of Cameron had emptied out, but a group of dedicated fans had stuck it out through all of the cheers.

I followed Hilary and Lora out of the stands, still bubbling with joy, when I heard my name.

Brin touched my arm and said, “I’ll wait for you.”

I got out of line and stepped back toward the court. There was a face that I hadn’t seen in a few years. “Amelia?”

“Marley, hey!” Amelia said. She ducked under the divider and pulled me into a hug.

Despite Amelia being Derek’s sister, we actually got along. She’d taken lessons from Miss Alicia for pageant choreography for a few years. Lila and I had hung out with her, and she was cool despite the pageants and being a St. Catherine’s girl and… Derek’s sister. I never brought up seeing Derek throw Chuck Henderson against a wall when he was into Amelia. She never brought up Derek at all.

“What a game, huh?” I asked her.

She sighed and pulled the UNC hat off of her head. “It was brutal. Derek is going to be pissed forever that it was his last regular season game.”

“Can’t blame him.”

She laughed. “For real. What are you doing tonight? Out celebrating? I’m in from New York through the weekend. We should get drinks or something.”

“You could come out with us tonight,” I offered.

“Will I get shit for being a UNC fan?”

I shrugged. “Probably.”

“Let me tell my dad and Kathy. They flew me out for the game.”

“Sure. No problem. Meet me out front after?

“Done!”

I hugged her again and then ran back to Brinley. We headed back to Wilson and grabbed our bags from the gym. I promised to meet Brinley and Lora back at our place before heading out in my black-and-Blue Devils-blue cheer two-piece to find Amelia. Everything had cleared out already, so it was easy to locate her standing with her dad and Kathy.

Kathy about lost it when she saw me. “Marley?”

“Hey, Kathy.”

She pulled me into a hug. “It is so good to see you. It’s been a few years. Look at you on the sidelines.”

Derek’s dad held his hand out, his deep drawl prominent as he said, “Apparently, I’m the only one who doesn’t know you. I’m Doug.”

“Marley,” I said, shaking his hand.

“She danced at Alicia’s studio,” Amelia filled him in.

“I see it’s paid off if you’re dancing for Duke.”

I flushed at the praise. “Thank you, sir.” My drawl coming out slightly to match his. It always did that around other Southerners.

“She got a full ride!” Amelia added.

“In academics,” I said quickly.

“Sharp girl,” he said with a head nod. Doug straightened up, and his smile brightened. “Hey! There he is. Good game, son.”

I startled at the words out of his mouth. I didn’t know why, but I’d always assumed that Doug Ballentine was sort of an asshole. He had a new, pretty, young wife. He’d insisted on Derek going to UNC. He’d always seemed the type. But he was congratulating Derek on that game? He must have been all right.

“Thanks, Dad,” Derek said. He’d changed into a regular jacket and khakis to come outside. Ditched all of his UNC gear to talk to his family. He’d probably be a target otherwise. He hugged his dad and then Kathy and Amelia. “It wasn’t my best.”

“You went out there and tried. Today wasn’t the day. You’ll still dominate in the postseason,” Doug said confidently.

Derek smiled at his family and then turned to face me. “Hey.”

“Derek, you remember Marley? She danced circles around me in high school. Her friend dated Ash Talmadge.”

For a second, all the air was sucked out of the world as he looked at me. As he was introduced to me by his sister. Amelia must not have heard the rumors about me in high school. She didn’t know about me and Derek. I waited on bated breath to see how he’d play this.

But before he could say anything, Kathy laughed. “Of course he remembers her—they dated.”

Amelia nearly choked on the water bottle she’d just taken a sip from. “What?”

“No,” I said quickly. “Um, no, we didn’t date. We were just friends.”

Everyone looked at me dubiously. Maybe they also all knew that Derek didn’t have female friends.

“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “Just friends. We’ve seen each other around.”

“Oh,” Amelia said with a furrowed brow. “Well, that’s cool. Marley asked if I could go out with her tonight.” She looked at her dad. “Is that okay, Daddy?”

“Sure, sweet pea. Just don’t be late for your flight home tomorrow.”

“I won’t.”

She kissed her dad’s cheek. They all hugged, and then Doug and Kathy headed back to their hotel, leaving the three of us alone.

Derek ran a hand back through his wet hair. “I’m supposed to take the bus back with the team. So, I should head out.”

“You could come out with us later,” Amelia offered.

He chuckled. “Nah. I’m too recognizable on this campus.”

“He’s right. It might be dangerous.”

“I’ll go home and meet you in the morning for breakfast, Mia.”

Amelia sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

Derek tipped his head to the side. “Can I talk to you a minute?”

I glanced at Amelia. Her head was buried in her phone, as if she’d known this was coming. Well, she must have known Derek’s moves.

“Sure.”

We stepped away from his sister and back toward the darker alcove between Cameron and Wilson. It had been a late game. I was tired, but I wasn’t at the same time. I had a jittery energy from our win. Derek clearly had the opposite reaction.

“Does this mean I won?” I teased.

He looked down at me with that half-smile on his face. “Whoever gets further in March Madness?”

I laughed. “You really can’t handle losing, can you?”

“I can handle losing.” He paused and considered it. “A basketball game. I can lose at basketball. I won’t lose against you.”

“And why not?”

“Because somehow, you’ll find a way to ruin my next relationship.”

I snorted. “I didn’t ruin the last one. And anyway, does Derek Ballentine do relationships?”

His half-smile turned full blown at the question. “What do you think?”

“I think everyone bores you,” I answered honestly before I could stop myself.

“Yeah?”

“Except me, of course.”

He took a step closer. “You’re right. You don’t bore me.”

I swallowed. “Which is why you don’t want to lose to me.”

“You’re right,” he said evenly. “That is not what I want to do with you.”

I had no response to that. None. No quick comeback. Nothing at all. I stared up into his gorgeous face and knew that things were getting wholly and truly complicated. Because I was supposed to hate him. I was supposed to be disgusted by his behavior and tired of all the shit he’d caused me. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about the shape of his lips and the way the light caught the curls in his hair or the heat coming off of him in this March evening. Or wondering what it would be like to give in to this instead of fighting it.

He tipped my chin up to look at him. “Marley…”

“You should probably get back to the team,” I said, not trusting myself to say anything else.

He released me with a sigh. I wasn’t playing into any of the games he was used to. I could see it in that moment that he had no idea what to make of me.

“Probably. March Madness?”

I nodded. “I’ll make a bracket. Winner takes all.”

His grin was devilish at those words. “I accept.”

Then, he disappeared back into the stadium.

I released my breath. Shit. I was in way too deep.

Amelia cleared her throat. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” I said, stepping back toward her. “Let’s go.”

“So…” Amelia said, glancing my way. “You’re dating my brother?”

“Definitely no.”

“He’s into you.”

“I think it’s just a conquest thing. I’m the one thing he can’t have.”

She shook her head. “No. I know Derek. I’ve never seen him look at anyone else like that.”

I laughed because I just couldn’t fathom how that could be true. “Come on, Amelia.”

She shrugged. “Believe what you want, but find me a hot guy to make out with tonight, yeah?”

“That is much easier than discussing your brother,” I said as we headed out.

No Derek in sight. No confusing looks or mixed messages. We’d see how March Madness went and figure out what was going on between us then.