Outrageously in Love by Jen Morris
22
Okay, so Luke and I are on the same page. We’re going to put the wedding first and forget about the attraction between us. It might not be the page I want us to be on, but at least we’re both there. That’s what matters.
I set down the huge bag of supplies in Luke’s hallway and glance over my outfit. I wanted a break from Harriet 2.0 today. She’s the one who shagged Luke on that flight, who’s been fantasizing about him nonstop, who told him last night—cringe—she was wearing out her vibrator dealing with her sexual frustration. I mean, I’d never do any of those things.
So I figured it might be a good idea to step away from the trouble she’s causing and be my old self, just for a bit. I put my jeans and a simple sweater on, and tied my hair up in a bun.
But I still wore my red lipstick. That’s really grown on me.
I wipe my sweaty hand on my jeans, then raise it to knock on Luke’s door. Nerves writhe in my belly as I wait. I’m not religious, but I silently pray that things are cool, that the intensity and chemistry that’s been woven into every glance, every word between us lately, is gone. I put off coming over here all day because I’m a coward, but I can’t put it off anymore. We need to get started on the centerpieces for the wedding.
“Hey,” Luke says when the door opens.
Oh for fuck’s sake. He’s wearing his glasses again and they look sexy as hell. It feels like some kind of cruel test from the universe.
His lips tip into a warm smile and he gestures for me to come inside. Despite everything, my shoulders relax down from my ears. I forgot how much being around him actually puts me at ease. It’s only when I get caught up in my thoughts that I start to spiral.
“Hey.” I reach for the bag of supplies but he grabs them for me, hauling them inside.
“What’s this?”
“Stuff for the centerpieces.” I follow as he sets the bag down on the white table. I begin unpacking everything and he heads into the kitchen, returning a moment later. When he hands me a can of Coke with a smile, things feel purely platonic and I’m relieved.
Definitely not disappointed.
“Thanks,” I say, taking the drink, pretending I don’t notice the way his fingers brush mine.
“You’re welcome.” His gaze rests on me for a second and I hold my breath, wondering what he’s going to say next. But he turns to the table, keeping us on task. “So, what are we doing here?”
We spend an hour assembling candles in wooden bowls with fake sprigs of fern. They’re going to be stacked on top of secondhand books—since Alex and Michael are both writers—with table numbers on little wooden stands. We work in silence and I manage to relax enough to focus on assembling the items, while Luke stacks the finished pieces into boxes for us to transport to the venue later.
“Can we take a break?” he asks as he seals up one of the boxes.
I nod, pleased with what we’ve done so far. “Sure.” We both lean back in our chairs and stretch. My gaze strays across the table and collides with his. I clear my throat. “So, er, how’s Donnie? Any more prison breaks?”
Luke laughs. “No. I think I’ve figured out how to keep him in his tank. But then, I thought that the last time, so…” He shrugs, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile. His eyes glide over to the TV, then back to me, and he stands. “Want to play a game?”
“What kind of game?”
“A video game. The game I designed.”
“Oh,” I say, a little taken aback. I can’t deny that I’ve been curious about his game, and games feel like a safe space for us—something we can do that won’t lead to us battling the impulse to rip each other’s clothes off. Especially if I’m staring at a screen instead of his face. Or his arms. Or any part of him, really.
I rise to my feet. “Sure. I probably won’t be very good, but I’ll give it a go.”
His face splits in a grin and we both take a seat on the leather sofa. “Normally you’d play this on a computer, but I’m testing the console version because we’re releasing it soon. I hope you like it.” He hands me the controller and the headset, looking kind of nervous.
I smile, wanting to reassure him. “I’m sure I will.”
He spends a few minutes explaining the concept, which controls to use, until—to my surprise—I’m eager to play. So I jump in and, after a few false starts, I pick it up with ease.
And actually, it’s really fun. I’d always assumed video games were sort of mindless, shoot-em-up type games, but this is quite sophisticated. It’s set in outer space, and there are all these different planets you can visit and spaceships you can purchase. There are missions and rewards, and all kinds of different things your avatar can do. The graphics are amazing. Once I figure out all the controls, I’m hooked. It’s got all the things I love about a good book—total immersion, the feeling of being outside yourself and living a different life for a while—with the strategy and participation required for playing a board game, but on another level.
Luke offers tips at the beginning, then sits back to watch me play. After a while I almost forget he’s there, I get so involved in the game.
And, God, it’s nice to be out of my own head for a bit. I haven’t picked up a book in ages and I miss the escapism. I’m used to reading for hours a day and I only now realize I haven’t been doing that at all lately.
“Should we order some dinner or something?” Luke says, interrupting my game.
I hit the pause button and glance away from the screen, shocked to find the afternoon light has given way to the darkness of early evening. “How long have I been playing?”
He chuckles. “An hour and a half.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Do you like it?”
I pull off the headset. “I love it. It’s so much fun. I can’t believe I’ve never played video games before. And—okay, I don’t have anything to compare your game to—but it’s awesome. I would totally buy it.”
Luke beams. “Thanks, that means a lot. Because Dena—” he stops himself, his grin fading as he looks down at his lap. “Never mind.”
“Dena what?”
He releases a hard breath, eying me cautiously, apparently deciding whether or not to continue. “She hated it,” he says at last.
“She hated it? How? What did she hate?”
He shrugs, picking at a piece of lint on his jeans, avoiding my gaze. I’ve never noticed before how much he shrinks when he talks about her. “She hated video games in general. She was so pissed when I left my job to pursue creating this.”
“Wow. That’s…” I shake my head, truly dumbfounded, and empathy rushes through me. “Well, I think it’s really cool.”
His posture straightens, almost as if pride is lifting him up, and for some reason that makes my chest ache. When he looks down at his hands, trying to hide his smile, I have to fight the urge to pull him into my arms.
I shake the feeling off, setting the controller aside. “Dinner,” I mumble. “Let’s eat.”
We order pizza and settle onto the sofa, and I ask him more about his game—how he came up with the concept, what the different spaceships can do and how many planets you can visit, what the plans are to develop it going forward. Every time there’s a gap in the conversation I wedge another question in, so we can’t stray into other territory. As long as he’s talking about his game, I’m safe. Well, it kills me to see him so animated and inspired because it’s sexy as hell, but I also love seeing him like that. I get the sense he could use someone to cheer him on more.
“So if I wanted to get into video games,” I ask, swallowing my last bite of pizza, “what console should I buy?”
He laughs. “It’s not that simple. It depends what kind of games you want to play.”
“Well, I like this.” I gesture to the screen. “It’s really detailed. I always thought video games were about guns and shooting bad guys.”
“There are loads of those too, and they can be just as fun.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Really? How?”
Luke wipes his hands on a napkin with a wry smile. “Sometimes you just want to blow shit up. It can be a good way to relieve stress. I guess it depends on what you want out of a game. Like, sometimes I play the game to escape and explore, and other times I want to compete and fight. My game has a battle mode to do that.”
“Battle mode?”
“Yeah. It turns it into a multi-player game and you battle other players for control of a ship or a planet. That can be fun too.”
“Can you show me that?” I ask, wiping my hands.
His mouth ticks up in a lop-sided smile and he stands, reaching into the cabinet under the TV to retrieve another controller. “Want to play together?” He holds out the controller, and for some ridiculous reason, the idea of playing with him makes my heart bounce against my ribs.
“Sure.” I take the controller and turn to the screen, listening as Luke walks me through how to play in battle mode.
We play for a while and, naturally, I lose a bunch of rounds. He did invent the game, after all. But it doesn’t take me long to pick up on what he’s doing, and next time I take a gamble and try something different. He doesn’t see it coming, and when his avatar is blown to bits, he turns to me, slack-jawed.
“That was brutal.”
I giggle. “You just shot me three times in a row. It’s about time I won.”
He grins, loading up the game again. “It’s okay. I know how to get you back.”
Somehow—don’t ask me how—I already anticipate what his next move will be. I wait until he’s about to execute it and—BAM! I take him down again. “Okay, yeah, this is pretty fun,” I say, chuckling.
He glances at me, half frowning, half smiling. “You’re a natural.”
Luke wins the next round, but I win the following two. He’s getting increasingly frustrated that I’ve picked it up so easily, but I’m not going to lie—after the way he needled me last night, it’s fun to wind him up.
“Whoever designed this game needs to make it harder,” I tease, and he grumbles something to himself.
Aw, now I feel bad. He was so excited to show this to me and I’ve taken all the fun out of it. But he’s so easy to read—I can always guess which way he’s going to go. It’s not about the game, it’s about his body language. This wouldn’t be so easy if he wasn’t right beside me.
On the next round I purposely fumble my move. He does exactly what I think he’s going to do, so it’s easy to hit the wrong button. I watch my avatar blow up and raise my hands in surrender, giving Luke a look that says “whoops!”
But his eyes narrow behind his glasses and he sets the controller down. “What was that?”
I place my controller on the coffee table, doing my best to look disappointed. “I messed up. You won.”
He shakes his head, eyes dancing as they move over my face. “You did that on purpose.”
“What?” Maybe I’m easy to read, too. I rise and gather the pizza boxes, heading into the kitchen so I don’t have to look at him. “It was an accident.”
Luke jumps to his feet, following me. “No, it wasn’t.”
I set the boxes down and turn to see him standing there, arms crossed, amusement crinkling his brow. At least he’s not annoyed, but that would be easier. It’s much harder to resist him with that playful expression on his face—and don’t get me started on those forearms, corded with veins as they’re folded over his chest. Fuck me. Who knew a plain white T-shirt could make a guy look so freaking good?
“Fine.” A grin pushes at my mouth. “I let the Wookiee win.”
The smile drops off Luke’s face. Lightning flashes in his gaze and I falter, wondering why it feels like the atmosphere has shifted all of a sudden.
“I mean—” I aim for a carefree chuckle, desperate to lighten the mood again. “It’s not like I actually thought you’d pull my arms out of my sockets if you lost, but—”
“Stop.” Luke holds up a hand, pressing his eyes shut as though he’s in pain. “You have to stop quoting Star Wars to me.”
The rough scrape of his voice makes me hesitate. “Why?”
“Because it’s torturing me, Harriet.”
“What?” A nervous laugh whistles out of me. “How?”
His jaw is tight and he shoves a hand through his hair, letting out a low growl. “Do you know how fucking sexy it is? How sexy you are? Playing video games with me, talking about this stuff?”
My heart takes off in a sprint. Maybe he’s not that easy to read, because I didn’t see that coming at all.
“Well, do you know how sexy it is that you actually get the reference?” The words rush from my mouth before I can stop them. “That you took me to that board game cafe? That you played my favorite game with me? That you—”
I’m cut short as Luke steps forward and captures my mouth with his. Shock hits my system first, making me freeze. But it only takes a split second for me to realize what’s happening, and… fuck. I sink into the warmth of his mouth, parting my lips and welcoming his tongue with my own. He moans and presses me into the kitchen island, and I don’t fight him.
God, I’m so weak. I can’t do anything but let him slide his hands into my hair and take me. Need floods my bloodstream and my body arches against him, my hands fisting in the front of his T-shirt. How is it possible that we’ve resisted doing this for the past week? It feels like finally breathing after not having enough air. Like I won’t be able to survive without this now.
He’s the first to break the kiss, stepping back and straightening his glasses to stare at me with dark eyes. “I’m sorry,” he manages, his breath ragged like he’s just sprinted up the stairs of The Empire State Building.
I press the pads of my fingers to my tingling lips, wondering how I’m going to stop myself from wanting to do that again. To do that forever. I’m breathing hard too, and my pulse is off the charts. “It’s okay,” I whisper at last, not sure what else to say. Because it is okay—it’s more than okay. It’s everything I want.
Everything I shouldn’t want.
“Harriet…” He pushes his hands into his hair and tugs in frustration, until it’s sticking out at crazy angles. “This is killing me. I’ve done everything I can to fight my attraction to you and it’s not working.”
I nod, wanting nothing more than to take his agitated hands in my own and soothe him, kiss him. I should look away, but I can’t. I’m pinned in place by the desire burning hot in his eyes.
And just like that, the final thread of my self-control snaps.