Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Forty-Four

Iwoke with a sigh. I’d had the best dream. I stretched and hugged my pillow, savoring the good start to my morning. Today was going to be an excellent day, I could feel it.

Sebastian had been so happy when I’d talked to him on the phone. He kept saying how much he wished I was there. My heart ached each time he said it, as though he was a phantom body part.

Climbing out of bed, I grabbed my phone off the dresser. With my thumb, I scanned my notifications and paused when I came to a text from Annika at three in the morning.

Tell your dad, I remember. I remember it all.

Blood rushed to my head when my heartbeat picked up. Instead of texting her, I hit the call button.

“Annika?” I said when she answered. “Did I read that text right?”

Her sigh was deep, wavering, soul shattering. “Yeah, you did. I don’t know why now. My therapist said it might happen like this. I had a dream. I woke up screaming. My parents came rushing in, and when I calmed down, I realized why I’d been screaming.” Her voice hitched. Muffled sobs traveled across the miles into my ear. “It was him. Johnny. Theo and Jeff were there, in the frat house.”

“Okay,” I said. “Okay, I’ll tell my dad to come see you.”

“I thought,” Annika started, then stopped. “I thought I wanted to remember. But it’s so much worse. I had no idea. I just—” Her voice broke, and I wished I was there to give her a hug.

“I’ll come with my dad and ditch my class.”

“No.” Her voice was a little stronger. “I don’t want to be responsible for you missing more class.”

“I don’t care about my class. If you need me, I’m there.”

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “It might be easier to get through retelling it if I’m stating the facts to your dad. If you come, I think I’ll—I’ll fall apart.”

My heart sank, but I understood. “Okay. But if you want to talk later…”

“I need your dad to tell me what I do now.” Her voice took on an unnaturally high pitch as though on the cusp of panic.

“I’ll go talk to him, okay? We’ll figure it out, Annika. It’ll be okay.”

“I gotta go.” Her voice was strangled, and she hung up.

I threw on my robe and rushed out to find my dad drinking his coffee at the table.

“Annika remembers,” I said. “She said she remembers it all. She wants to talk to you.”

The cup clattered onto the table, and my dad got to his feet, grabbing his notepad and pen off the table. “I’ll have to take the police with me. Does she have a lawyer?”

I shook my head. “Not sure.”

“I’ll call her parents on the way.” He grabbed his keys off the side table by the door and then stopped short. “I didn’t see you last night when you got home. But Sebastian played a hell of a game.”

My heart swelled at my dad watching Sebastian play, cheering him on.

“Oh, Dad,” I said. “I can’t believe you watched.”

He gave me a slight smile from the door. “They’re back today. Pepper spray and Taser with you. If Annika remembers everything, and Johnny finds out, he might think he’s got nothing to lose.”

I sunk onto one of the kitchen chairs. My phone pinged, and I snatched it off the table to find a text from Kristy.

Are you and Sebastian on or off?

Frowning, I texted her back: We’re on. My brain kicked into overdrive. When there was silence on her end, I texted her again to discover what was going on.

Shit on Instagram. Probably nothing.

Sebastian never posted anything, ever. He called social media a time suck. I opened the app, searching for whatever Kristy had seen. There was nothing on his page or my home feed. I searched the hashtag for the National Championship. Then I saw it. A GIF of Sebastian making out with another girl.

Nausea rushed over me like a tsunami, wiping out sanity. I went to my text messages to check whether Sebastian sent me anything. Nothing. What did that mean? I checked my missed calls, but there was nothing there either.

Sebastian didn’t post the GIF, another player did, but they’d tagged him. Such a tiny moment to capture. I watched it again, a knife stabbing me over and over.

He wouldn’t.

Would he?

I’d watched Sebastian pack his bag. Had that shirt been in the pile? I tried to be rational while my stomach threatened to revolt. Standing up, I went to my room. Tossing gym clothes into a bag, I snatched the Taser and pepper spray off the counter on the way out the door. I couldn’t sit around here wondering. When I asked him about it, the truth would be written on his face. Lying over text or the phone was too easy. They were flying home tonight. I could wait.

Maybe the GIF was nothing.

Maybe he got drunk and made a mistake.

My conversation with Annika months ago returned in a rush. There were always girls around him, circling. Temptation was everywhere.

I should have gone to the game. Why didn’t I go to the game?

While I walked to the gym, my head and heart fought a bitter battle. Every possible scenario played out. If Sebastian did get to the NFL, this could happen. Would I always be wondering what to believe, who to believe? My stomach rolled, and I pressed a hand to my gut.

I worked out at the gym until the lightheaded feeling got the best of me. My phone was off because I was unable to face whatever else might appear. Was it one girl? A single post?

What would I do if it was true? Could I overlook one mistake?

If he didn’t sleep around while we were broken up, he wouldn’t do it now. He was Team Nattie. He wouldn’t.

My brain kept circling. One minute I was convinced there was no way he was making out with a random girl last night. My next ideas encompassed the ways it might have happened.

Class was a bust. I couldn’t concentrate on the lecture and ended up having to ask someone else for their notes. Walking home, my brain kept ticking off the possible scenarios, every reason the video might have been posted.

I cleaned the house from top to bottom while I waited for Sebastian to return. My dad and I exchanged a few texts, but I couldn’t ask him whether Sebastian might have cheated on me. The one person I wanted to talk to already had too much on her shoulders. My drama was so trivial in comparison.

When the door handle rattled and a set of keys jangled around midnight, I froze in the middle of washing the baseboards. All the furniture was pulled out from the wall, a bucket beside me, a rag in my hand. I dropped the rag in the bucket and yanked my phone out of my rear pocket. Still nothing from Sebastian. He was supposed to be back hours ago. I sighed, sitting on my haunches. My dad would take one look at me and know something was wrong.

Braced for an interrogation, I watched the door swing open. My heart stutter-stopped when Sebastian poked his head in.

“Nattie? You still awake?”

“Yeah.” I sat on the floor, frozen. “You scared me.”

“Shit, sorry.” He stepped in and dropped his things with a thud. Exhaustion coated his features like a thin layer of paint. When we made eye contact, he grinned. “We won!”

I smiled, not moving off the floor. “It was a great game. You guys must have had a lot of fun last night.” The words came out of my mouth, wooden.

“It was all right. I kept wishing you were there. Then I lost my phone somewhere. Did you try to text me?” Shaking his head, he rounded the couch and plopped down. “I haven’t seen you in days. I hoped I might get a bit more of a greeting.” He took in the chaos of furniture and cleaning supplies. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning.”

“Okay,” Sebastian said slowly.

Silence hung between us.

“All right, what’s going on? You’re freaking me out. Did something happen while I was gone?”

I grabbed my phone off the ground beside me. Scrolling through the hashtag on Instagram, I found the post and gave Sebastian my phone.

His brows pulled together, and he frowned as he watched it. “What the hell is this?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

“You’re wondering if this is from last night?”

“It was posted last night by one of the guys on the team. Malcolm, I think.”

“Did you look at it?” He peered at me, not defensive but curious.

I rolled my eyes. “A few times.”

“So you realize it’s from the frat house, right?”

“What?” I sat beside him and peered over his shoulder.

Using his finger, he pointed out everything in the background of the GIF. “I don’t understand why Malcolm posted this last night, but this is old. Like, when I first got to campus, old.”

I pressed a hand to my forehead while relief cascaded through me.

“Nat, you gotta stop thinking the worst of me.” He put his arm around my waist and kissed my temple. “I swear there isn’t a woman alive who compares to you. There just isn’t.” He held my phone between us.

“I’m sorry.”

Taking a deep breath, he tugged me until I straddled him. “Look at me.”

Reluctantly, I raised my eyes.

“What do you need to hear?”

Shaking my head, I broke eye contact. “What if you get super famous and this happens?”

His eyebrows pulled in. “What if what happens?”

“If it looks like you’re cheating on me.”

He smoothed my hair with both his hands and then leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I realize what I’ve got with you. There will be no cheating. I promise.”

“There’s always going to be other girls after you.”

“Not always. Someday I’ll be old and fat.”

I laughed and shoved his chest. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.”

When I looked at him again, my favorite half smile was on his face.

“You think I don’t worry about the same thing?” he asked.

“I don’t have guys hanging off me everywhere I go.”

“You’re smart. You’re gorgeous. I worry you’ll wake up one day and realize you can do so much better than some football player with an okay GPA.”

“That won’t happen.” I cupped his cheek before kissing him.

“If you ever wonder where we’re at, how I’m feeling, ask. Honesty, always, okay?”

I nodded, playing with the bottom of his shirt. “Honesty, always.”

“Where’s your dad?” Sebastian looked around. “Sleeping?”

I scrolled through my messages. “Looks like he’s not coming home tonight.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

Meeting his worried gaze, I said, “Annika remembered. She remembered it all.”