Company Ink by E.L. Lewis

t h i r t y – s e v e n

"By the authority vested in me by the State of Washington, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Oh my God! Kiss faster!

I tap my foot impatiently as I watch Matt suck my best friend's face off. Are they filming a damn porno? Come on, Matt! Hurry the fuck up! There are children present, you degenerate!

No. Dear lord. I need to calm down.

This day is not about me. It's about Monique and Matt and their love.

The fact that Blake Pearson is sitting in the fourth row, staring at me with inquisitive eyes is not important. It's not irking me. It's not driving me completely freaking mental. It's fine.

Once Matt's Dementor-like suction releases Monique's face, they begin making their way down the aisle, googly-eyed and grinning, the rest of us following closely behind. I make sure to keep my eyes on the ground in front of me, as we scurry off to the adjacent ballroom for the reception.

I stop in front of the seating chart and squint as I read all the names of the guests. There are only first names and the first initial of the last name. I scan all the Ps. His name is not on here! Did he crash a wedding? Seriously? That is so not something Blake would do! Adrian, maybe, but Blake? No way in hell. Grunting in frustration, I saunter to the head table and fill my glass up with table wine. Save me, you flushed face inducing adult juice!

I lean against the table and stare at the herds of guests flowing through the reception doors.

Not Blake. Not Blake. Not Blake. Not Blake.

My heart drops to my stomach.

Blake.

I quickly whip my head around. Be cool. Be calm. Be covert. It's no biggie. Just act casual. Easy breezy. That's right. Just like a Cover Girl.

Straightening out my posture, I peek over my shoulder. Blake's huddled around a group of guys, a couple of them look eerily similar to Blake. Okay, so he knows people here. But how?!

My eyes land on Monique who's at the far corner of the room talking to her new in-laws, her head turns, and she waves at Blake. Waves! Do they know each other? What in the fuck is happening?

Okay! I've had enough. Call me a cat, 'cause I'm about to get killed. Holding my head up high, I traipse over to where Blake is standing. Confidence!

Once I'm a couple of yards away, Blake's head turns towards me, his eyes narrowing. Is he just as confused as I am? Or did he know I'd be here?

"Hey," I say casually, avoiding his gaze.

"Hi."

Hi? That's it?

I suck-in a sharp breath, forcing myself to look up at him. "Not to be rude, but uh—what're you doing here?"

Blake's eyebrow quirks up. "Me? I could ask you the same question."

I motion to my dress. "Maid of Honor, self-explanatory."

Blake hums, scanning my face. "Yes, I caught that."

I lean in towards him. "Okay, well, how do you know—"

"Nate!" Matt charges Blake from the side and slaps him over the shoulder. "You made it, buddy! I was sure you'd come up with some sort of excuse not to be here. Colton owes me twenty bucks."

I blink rapidly. What the fu—"Nate?" I ask slowly. "What?"

"Ah, shit!" Matt exclaims, laughing. "I guess you've never met. Cassie, this is Nathaniel, he and I went to high school together back in the day."

More blinking because I am so lost right now. "Nathaniel? What? I'm so confus—" I pause, remembering the day I bumped into Blake at the medical center. Want to know something funny? Blake's not even my first name.

Oh...my...God.

"Your name is Nathaniel?!" I exclaim, realization dawning on me.

Blake nods, shrugging. "Nathaniel Blake Pearson."

Suddenly, Monique comes up beside me, smiling so hard her face could crack. "Cass! You've met Nate!"

I quickly grab Monique's elbow, pulling her away from this shit show. I'm being so obvious right now, but fuck it! This situation is beyond repair. "Nate is Blake," I say through my teeth.

Monique's forehead creases. "What?"

My eyes widen. "Blake!" I whisper. "As in Pearson & Associates, Blake!"

"What?" Monique's face pales. "Oh...shit."

"How did you not know?" I whimper. "God, Monique, this is so awkward!"

Monique shakes her head. "I'm sorry! I didn't know! I knew his last name was Pearson, but I didn't put it together! It's a common last name! Like Smith... or Jones."

I close my eyes. "This is unbelievable. How well do you know him? Do you guys hang out?"

God, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone right now.

"I've met him three times in the last year or so? He never comes out. Matt says he's always working... Fudge! I didn't even know what he did for a living. I'm sorry, Cass!"

I take a deep breath. "It's fine, it is what it is."

"Are you going to uh—talk to him? You know...about everything?" Monique asks quietly. "Does he know you're not with Adrian anymore?"

I grunt, closing my eyes. "I guess I am now!"

Maybe this is a good thing. I got closure with Adrian and now I can get closure with Blake. He doesn't seem pleased to see me so I'm not expecting a very long conversation. But the way we ended things wasn't ideal.

"Here!" Monique hands me her glass of champagne. "You'll need it."

I smile mockingly at my friend. "Gee, thanks, this will totally make everything better."

Monique kisses me on the cheek. "Good luck! Gotta go! Matt and I need to make the rounds."

I roll my eyes, taking a sip of the bubbly as I watch her run away with Matt. I turn my head around to where Blake's standing.

"So... Nate, eh?" I ask, walking up to him. "What's up with that?"

Blake sighs, his eyes flickering around the room. "Went by Nate in high school, Blake in college," he says matter-of-factly.

"That means you've known Matt just as long as I've known Monique," I muse, ignoring his cold demeanor. "Oh! Did you know, statistically, if your friendship lasts over seven years, it's bound to last a lifetime?"

"Fascinating."

I cross my arms. Seriously? "Am I bothering you?" I ask. "I could leave if that's what you want. I just thought we could talk... like grown-ups."

Blake's eyes dart down to my face, icy and flat. "Why don't you go and talk to your boyfriend. Where is he anyway?"

Does he still think I'm with Adrian? He must know he's going back to Spain. "I don't have a boyfriend...anymore."

Blake hums apathetically. "Is that so? How unfortunate. I was rooting for the two of you."

My jaw clenches. "I get that you're upset with me, Blake, but that doesn't give you the right to act like a tool when I'm clearly trying to make amends."

Blake takes a deep breath, shaking his head. "You're right. That was quite uncouth of me, I apologize. I guess I'm still a little—" He pauses. "Doesn't matter. I'm sorry, Cassandra."

I bite my lip, nodding. "Thank you," I mutter.

"Are you uh—" Blake sighs. "Are you okay? After...you know."

"I wasn't," I admit, careful not to say Adrian's name. "But it's getting better."

"Yeah?" Blake asks, gesturing for me to sit down, his expression hesitant. "That's good, glad to hear."

The air around us is uncomfortable, uneasy, but what did I expect? Warmth? Laughter? A sense of familiarity? I hurt him. He's closed off, guarded. And I did that to him.

"I'm uh—" I swallow, tilting my head. "I'm leaving for New York on Tuesday."

Blake raises an eyebrow. "On Tuesday? Really?"

"Yeah, Tuesday at two. Ness got into an experimental TBI treatment program so I'm taking her."

Blake's expression, for the first time during this conversation, softens. "That's amazing news, Cassandra. What clinic?"

"It's called New Vision Medical? Have you heard of it?" I ask, leaning back into the chair.

"I have," Blake answers, pouring us both a fresh glass of wine. "They have an excellent reputation and world-renowned doctors; Ness will be in good hands."

"Really?" I sigh with relief.

"Yes, I've looked into various clinics for my father's rehabilitation. New Vision was by far the best, but he said he'd prefer to stay in Seattle with my mother, she doesn't enjoy flying."

"Like she's scared of planes?" I ask, taking a sip of wine.

"Yes."

"That's kind of cute though, your dad wanting to stay with her."

"It's how it's supposed to be, Cassie," Blake says, his eyes scanning my face. "They made vows to be together, always."

I let out a light chuckle. "Yeah, I guess. But it's probably not just the vows, it's the love, right?"

"Yes, I suppose that's true," Blake smiles, nodding towards Monique and Matt who have taken over the dance floor. "They look happy."

"They are," I agree. "They'll be together forever. I'm already mentally shopping for baby clothes. I'm convinced they'll have a kid by the time I finish my MBA."

"MBA? You're going back to school? Really?" Blake looks almost...shocked.

I grin. "Yeah, I am. Is that so surprising?"

"A little, yes. What made you decide to go back to college?"

"I thought I'd finally make a plan for my future rather than just winging everything," I admit. "Get my ducks in a row."

"A plan? Interesting." Blake licks his lip subtly, his eyes alight with amusement. "Perhaps in the future, you'll even schedule something."

I roll my eyes. "Would you believe me if I said I even bought a day planner?"

Blake grins. "What? No more sticky note reminders?"

I let out a quiet laugh. "Outrageous, I know."

"Where are you enrolling?" Blake asks.

"At NYU—" I crane my neck towards some commotion happening behind me. "No..." Marching towards me with fierce determination is Carson Tilford, Seattle's most boring man.

No. No. No.

"What's wrong?" Blake's eyebrows knit together.

"There's a guy walking over here, Blonde hair, powder blue suit. Monique introduced us a few months ago and I think he's going to ask me to dance," I whisper, trying to hide my face.

Blake peers over my shoulder. "He looks harmless," he jokes. "A little 70s, but harmless."

"Blake, he talked about little war figurines, nonstop, for thirty minutes. It's not funny." I peak through my hand. "Oh my God, he's almost here." I abruptly stand up and hold out my hand. "Dance with me!"

Blake eyes my hand warily. "Cassie... I don't—"

I pout, tossing him my most desperate expression. "Please?!" I whisper. "Please please please."

Carson stalks towards me. "Hiya there, Cassie," he beams. "Fancy seeing you here!"

Oh, God. Obviously, I'd be here! I narrow my eyes. "Hey...you. How's it going?"

Carson wiggles his eyebrows. "Just excellent." He holds out his hand. "Care to dance? I think I owe you one from last time." He pats his leg. "My knee is all better now."

I side-eye Blake, who's watching us with curious eyes. "Uh—" I cringe, slowly giving him my hand.

"Maybe next dance," Blake states suddenly, standing up, towering over Carson. "There's a line."

Bless you!

Carson's face falls and I almost feel bad. Almost. He scratches his overly gelled hair. "Oh, yeah," he laughs. "No problem. I'm at table twelve if you wanna boogie later."

Jesus... "I'll bear that in mind," I smile at him through the sheer second-hand embarrassment. Carson salutes me and walks away.

"Oh my God," I breathe. "Thank you so much. I swear he got dorkier in the last few months."

Blake holds out his hand. "Well? Shall we?"

I place my hand in his, my chest rising at the connection. "I'd love to," I say, and Blake leads me to the dance floor.

He wraps his arm around my waist as we begin swaying to the sweet soulful voice of Otis Redding. Flashbacks from the gala swirl around my mind. The retreat. The canoe. The kiss. Everything.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, looking up at him. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Blake."

Blake, swallows, his grip on my waist tightening ever so slightly. "I'm sorry I asked you to resign. I shouldn't have done that. Not without talking to you first. Alone."

I nod, a melancholy smile capturing my lips. "I guess we both made a few mistakes."

Blake's eyes flutter around my face, his breathing shallow. "Yes," he whispers. "We did."

"I wish..." I close my eyes. "I wish I knew how you felt sooner. I wish, I didn't—"

Blake lifts his hand up, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Me too," he says softly. "Me too, Cassie."

As the song ends, I tilt my head up and our eyes meet. "Is this it?" I ask him.

Blake studies me, his eyes full of questions and what-ifs. "The song is over," he finally says, and I know he's not talking about music.

My breath hitches. "Yeah, you're right. It is."

Blake lifts my hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss along my knuckles. "It was a good song," he whispers.

"It was..." My eyes flicker down to the ground, my heart heavy. "I guess this is goodbye."

Blake nods. "Bye, Cassie."

Taking a deep breath, I turn around and start making my way to the head table. I got it. Closure. That was it. Right?

"Cassie," Blake calls out and I spin around, too hopeful.

"Yeah?" I ask eagerly.

"Good luck in New York," he says warmly, his eyes bright.

Oh.

"Thanks," I mutter, disappointment washing over me.

And that's the last time we speak all night.

***

"Lucy! We're going to miss our flight!"

Lucy crosses her arms and scowls at me. "You have time for a cup of tea, my dear. The security checkpoint is right behind us and there's a big line. Just wait for it to die down. Please?"

I roll my eyes and look at Ness. "Tell your mother we're running late."

Ness giggles. "We have time," she says quietly.

"Hah!" Lucy exclaims. "Two against one, we win! Now sit down!"

Begrudgingly, I plop down at the airport cafe. "They better not give away our seats! I didn't pay for business class just to get booted."

Lucy passes me a to-go cup. "What is the rush, Cassie? They won't leave without you, and I for one would like to spend as much time with my daughter and niece as I can, before you move to the other side of the damn country."

"Fine, sorry, I'm just antsy," I admit, checking the time again. "I just want to leave. I want to be in New York."

Lucy grins, pouring her tea into an empty cup for Ness. "Can't wait for all the New Yorker men?" She wiggles her brows. "I hear they're one of a kind."

I expel a cynical laugh. "Men? No. I've decided that I'm doing a man-detox for the entire year!"

The idea came to me while Monique and I were packing up our condo. Mon mentioned that she's doing a tea-tox for two weeks before heading off on her honeymoon to cleanse her system. And that's exactly what I need. A cleanse.

Vanessa almost chokes on her tea. "A year?" she asks, wiping her chin. "No men?"

"Yes! No men, no dating, no sex, nothing!" I state boldly. "For the next twelve months, I'm going to only focus on myself and spending time with you." I point to Ness. "I need a mental break from boys."

Lucy blinks. "Isn't a year a little ambitious, honey? I mean...it's you."

My mouth hangs open. "See! That's exactly what I mean, I don't think I've been single for more than five months since I was fourteen. That's like ten years of failed relationships! Clearly, I need to figure some shit out."

"Cassie, you're young. Relationships are bound to fail," Lucy says, tilting her head. "You don't need to swear off men altogether."

I shake my head. "You don't think I can do it!"

Vanessa and Lucy exchange a skeptical look. "I think you can," my cousin murmurs. "Maybe."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, you guys!" I exclaim, grunting. "Honestly, if I'm going to be in school, I won't even have time to date. I wanna kick this program's ass and then, maybe, I can date again."

Lucy sighs. "I mean, if this is what you really want, then okay, go for it."

"It is, really! I think it's time for me to get my priorities straight. And it's not like I'll be alone or lonely, Ness and I have an entire city to explore together, right Ness?"

Ness nods, smiling. "And museums."

"And museums!" I add with a burst of energy. "So, we'll be fine! Great even!"

Lucy purses her lips. "Okay..." she sings. "I'll believe it when I see it."

For the next fifteen minutes, we chat about where we'll be staying in New York. The apartment I rented is this tiny little thing I found in Chelsea, a bit expensive, but I've decided to rent out my parents' house so we can afford it. Lucy was adamant that she should chip in for rent on behalf of Ness, but I refused.

"Okay, my loves," Lucy says, standing up. "I guess it's time for me to set you free."

Ness gives her mom a hug and I follow suit. "Love you, Mom," Vanessa says.

"We'll call you when we land, okay?" I give Luce a quick peck on the cheek.

Lucy bites her lip, her eyes welling up. "Have fun, okay? And please be safe! New York is a lot bigger and scarier than Seattle."

"I've seen The Sopranos, Luce. I know how to act intimidating." I toss her a wink.

Lucy closes her eyes. "Vanessa, you're in charge of Cassie. You're older, wiser, please make sure she doesn't accidentally get recruited into the mafia."

Ness giggles. "I'll try."

"Well, go on then," Lucy sighs. "Love you guys."

"We'll be fine, Luce," I say. "I promi—"

"Cassie!" A voice calls out from down the terminal. "Cassie, wait!" I crane my neck, my eyes flickering towards the man shouting my name.

What the fuck is he doing here?