Her Pack by Tamara White

Chapter Seventeen

I'm sittingon the front step of Eli's home, staring at Vivienne, who looks uneasy being near me, especially after what I just asked her.

My mates and Enforcers are all off helping the pack members who were injured. Eli was with me for a little while, but his mom dropped by to talk to me and see if I was okay, so he left me in her capable hands while he went off and helped too. I'd imagine if he knew what I had planned, he wouldn't have left me alone with his mother, now or any other time.

Vivienne is watching me closely, most likely trying to assess if I really meant it. "Dani, are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure."

Her shoulders slump and she moves to take a seat on the step, beside me. "Then I will help you but please, at least take some time to think it over. You only just woke up from a month long coma because of being cleansed. Eli may very well kill me if I put you in another one."

"I need to be cleansed." I look over at Vivienne, telling her something I haven't admitted to anyone else. "When I killed Sonja, I enjoyed it. Not in the moment, when it happened all it was for me was a life or death situation. I knew that if I didn't kill her, she would kill me. But once we got away, I felt this dark spark inside of me. It was joy. Excitement over taking her life." I sigh, closing my eyes. "As queen, I'm not supposed to enjoy taking a life. When Eli told me of your vision and I asked Monique about it, she said the crown only killed those not worthy who had taken a life. I fear, that is exactly what I am. The person not worthy for that crown." I open my eyes, letting her see and understand my determination. "So you see I need to be cleansed. Either that or give up the throne, and as much as I hated the idea of being queen, I can't give up my legacy. Not without at least giving it a shot."

"How do you plan on telling your mates? None of them were too happy when you didn't wake up. I don't imagine it is going to go down well when you suggest trying again."

"Ah, well, I was hoping that maybe we could not tell them."

Vivienne is shaking her head. "Oh, I don't know Dani, I don't think I could do that. Not after the threat my son made. He may very well kill me if I hurt you again, whether it’s the spring doing the hurting or not. Besides, have you thought about what will happen if we try again and are unsuccessful? I think everyone would notice you were in a coma again."

"Hopefully that was just a fluke and won't happen again, but we could always use another spring? Maybe we work up to using the main spring or something?"

To be honest, I haven't really given too much thought as to how it will work but I know that if I go in the main spring, there is every chance of a repeat performance so better to avoid it if I can.

"The springs don't work like that Dani. If the main spring struggled to cleanse you, then the others are sure not to work. Your only option is the main spring. This time though, we'll take it easy. I won't push you as I did last time. I feel that’s why you reacted as you did. Because we forced it. This time though, the moment you feel uncomfortable, we'll pull you straight out."

"So you'll do it then?" I fear that she’s going to try and talk me out of it. But this sounds like she is willing to let me have my second chance.

"Of course I will. You're my Queen. If you were to command me to do this for you, then I would have no choice but to oblige your wishes. That is how it works for our kind. What you wish, is what you get. You simply only need to ask for it."

I snort, rolling my eyes. "Maybe I should just ask Luke to surrender then. Maybe he would just fall to his knees and do what I said. I don't know why I didn't think of that in the first place, it would have made life so much easier."

"There's no need to be a smart ass Dani. I simply meant that most of us would do anything to help you achieve what you're destined for. The rest, well, you just simply need to focus on your end goal to make it happen."

I wish it was that easy. I don't even know what my end goal is most days. I think if I had to choose an end goal, it would be that all this Luke business was over, that my mates and I could finish school and live out our lives in peace, well as much peace as the new rulers of a species could. Maybe we could settle down after college, live among the packs full time. But to be honest, I'm not sure what everyone else wants.

I clear my throat, pushing my thoughts of the future away for the moment. "Right, so when can we try the cleansing again?"

Vivienne sighs, climbing to her feet. "I'll be busy for the rest of the week with the injured wolves of Jason's pack. But I'll make time to try again on Sunday evening. In the meantime though, I suggest you spend some time with your mates. Enjoy the downtime and get to know them better, bond with them. Maybe if your bonds are stronger, then the cleansing might go easier."

"Really?"

"I don't know, maybe it could. But in my opinion, bonding with them a little more definitely couldn't hurt." She winks and stretches her arms over her head. "Now, I've gotta go back to checking on the wolves. Do you promise to go inside and stay inside until your mates come back? Or am I going to have to stick around?"

I wave her off. "No, go, I'll be fine. I'm going to go inside and binge in front of the tv for a while. I'll stay put, promise."

She purses her lips. "Alright, I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it though, or Eli will punish me for leaving you unattended."

She throws a wink at me, to soften her words but she's right. The guys have given me this little touch of freedom, simply because there are more important things that need to be done. I won't break that trust. I need them to trust me, because when I go off with Vivienne, it's going to break their trust even more.

"Bye Vivienne," I call, when she stops a house away, watching me.

"Go inside so I can leave Dani."

I roll my eyes but climb to my feet and go up the stairs into the house. As I close the door, I see Vivienne turn and walk away. I head inside the house, trying not to think about what my mates are doing out there with all the injured wolves. I wanted to help but everyone was dead set against that idea.

It kills me but they are right. I used so much energy and even with the bits I leeched off them, it isn't enough to restore me to full strength. Rest is what I need and they need to help Jason's pack settle in.

I will go to each of them tomorrow and give them more energy, after I've had a night full of rest and recovery.

I sink into the sofa and flick the tv on, changing the channel to some mindless house hunting show. I don't know when the guys will come back but alone time, time to think is what I really need. What Vivienne said out there got me thinking very hard about my future.

I haven't discussed with anyone what they want. Whether school is still a thing they want to continue. Whether they've even given it any thought since I came into their lives. I imagine they all had goals before me. Then I crashed into their world, the trials started and then shit just exploded.

Maybe over the next few days when they have time, I should take them on mini dates. I mean, I can't leave pack territory, but maybe I can take them on a picnic or something, anything to get a little alone time and learn more about their wants. I need to try and figure out what everyone wants before I even broach the subject of finishing school or going off to college.

But then comes the dilemma of who to spend time with first? I think logically, I should spend time with someone I haven't really connected much with. And that would be Mitch. I know that he's been holding himself back, purely because of the stuff with his mom, but I think it's also because we haven't really had alone time. He's always with his brother, which is understandable, but also doesn't give much time for us to get to know each other individually.

With my decision made, I settle back onto the couch and let out a long sigh. Time for me to relax for a while. When my mates come back, I will let them know what I've decided and who I wish to take on a date with me first.

Maybe I can broach the idea of us starting a sleep schedule. One where I get to share just one mate during the night. If something happens between us, then I think I'm ready for that next step. I can't keep putting it off out of fear. I was in a coma for a month. I don't want to regret not living life to the fullest when I actually have the chance to.