Always Us by Lizzie Morton

 

 

 

Sixteen

 

 

Jake – 8 years earlier

 

 

We’ve been talking for weeks but not met. She’s cool to talk to, but damn she’s shy. You know what they say, good things come to those who wait. She definitely seems like she’ll be worth the wait. Her name’s Abby. We don’t go to the same high school, butour mutual friend Zoe introduced us, gave us each other’s number and we’ve been speaking ever since.

Somehow, I feel this connection to her, and I can’t explain it. I don’t talk to the guys about how I’ve been feeling, or they’d label me a pussy because they can be assholes like that. There’s just something about her. I’m not used to her type, I’m used to girls throwing themselves my way, so confident they believe I will want them. Their chat is boring though and often results in a quick hook up, that’s it. It’s all so superficial and there’s no substance to it, but that’s high school.

But not Abby. I don’t have a clue what she wants from me. We talk about anything and everything, we have conversations about real things, it’s endearing. There’s something there between us that I don’t want to lose. What’s even more appealing is that she isn’t solely focused on the fact I’m in a band, andhow this can boost her reputation. She’s awakened something inside me. I wake up each day with something real to look forward to, it’s something I didn’t even realize I needed. A connection with someone, something deeper than what I look like or can offer them in the popularity stakes.

I’ve been looking forward to this day. It’s taken a while to convince her it’s a good idea, but finally, she’s agreed to meet. It’s in a group setting, but small steps seem to be the way forward with her, pushing her slowly out of her comfort zone, so she doesn’t even realize it’s happening.

I’ve been sitting with the guys in Central Park for over an hour. Luckily, it’s early September so the days are still warm and we’re not hanging around freezing our asses off. When Sam asks if I’m sure they’re coming, I shrug. I have no clue. I spoke with her last night and she promised she would come with Zoe and Sophie, promised that she wouldn’t stand me up, yet here we are. I’m getting antsy, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I never get like this with girls. She’s gotten under my skin without me realizing it and today means more than I care to admit.

Eventually, starving and fed-up with waiting around, I tell the guys I’m heading to a store close by to pick up some supplies. I’m gone max fifteen minutes, but when I return and can see the group from the distance, it’s clear it’s grown in size and added to it some female members.

I’ve only seen pictures of her. They’re ones she’s sent, having vetoed the others, making sure I like what I see, but there was no need. I could tell that I’d like her, even with how blurry the pictures on my cell were. There’s nothing not to like about Abby West, with her dark brown hair, highlighted with bits of copper that catch the sun. Even from a distance she’s mesmerizing.

Some would say she’s plain, but that’s because they’re not looking properly. She’s anything but. She doesn’t fit the stereotypical blonde bombshell mold that most guys my age go for and that’s where the appeal strikes. All it takes is one look to know there’s something more, that this connection with her isn’t just skin deep. She’s not just a pump and dump, she’s the real deal, the type who’s in it for the long haul, the type you marry.

I don’t know how long I stand in the distance, watching her like some crazy stalker, but it’s long enough that Sam looks around trying to figure out where I’ve gotten to. Realizing I can’t stand here forever, I make my way closer to the group, slowly, like a predator stalking its prey. The last thing I want is to startle her and scare her away, especially after I’ve worked so hard to get her here.

Everyone is still sitting on the grass where we congregated earlier, spread out and relaxed. She’s laughing at something one of the girls says, lost in her own little world and completely oblivious to the fact I’m even there. The girl she’s talking to, who I’ve never met, whispers in her ear while looking in my direction. I’ve not been the focus of her attention yet, because it’s clear now, I’d know if I had.

She turns her head, looking up into my face and a slight flush rises to her cheeks as she swallows. She’s nervous and it makes her even more appealing. Finally, when those bright blue eyes lock on to mine, there’s no doubt in my mind that this girl is it for me. No one else will ever compare to Abby West.

We might only be at the start of our journey, but I know now that my heart is hers and hers alone. I’m done for.

 

***

 

Abby

 

 

“I still can’t believe he’s the reason we’re all here,” moans Zoe from her seat on the bus.

It’s been a couple of days since our huge blow up at the carnival, and I’ve spent the time simmering in my own pit of fury. It’s taken me this long to calm down enough that I’m able to open up to the girls about what’s been wrong and why I’ve been so angry.

Sophie rolls her eyes at Zoe’s comment. “It’s not like you’re hard done by. We’re on a European tour …”

“Yes, but still …” All she wants to do really is fight my corner.

We’ve picked a booth as far away as we can from the others so that we can carry on our conversation. Being on a bus, even if it is a big fancy tour bus, we still need to keep our voices low as there isn’t exactly much space between us and everyone else.

Sooz has been unusually quiet during our whole exchange. She’s normally one to offer some sort of input, but not today.

I turn and ask, “You good?”

She doesn’t reply, just mouths the word no at me.

“Are you feeling ok? You’re not sick, are you?”

“I’m fine, apart from the guilt eating away at me.” She bangs her head against the table dramatically.

“What on earth is wrong with you? You’re never like this.”

She takes a deep breath and says, “Abby, I have something to tell you.”

“Right?” I still haven’t a clue what’s gotten into her, but whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as she’s making out.

“It’s about Jake.”

Of course, it is because everything is always about him. It’s like he has to filter himself into every part of my life.

“It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“I don’t know. You’ve been pretty upset these past couple of days and now I know the reason why, I’m scared to tell you.”

My behavior has been irrational, but it always is when it comes to him and I’m annoyed with myself that it’s making one of my closest friends think they can’t tell me something.

Sweetly, I say, “You know you can tell me anything, Sooz. I promise I won’t go off on one.”

“We’ll see …”

Zoe and Sophie look eagerly between us, they’re suckers for gossip, all they need now is a bowl of popcorn and they could be watching Netflix.

We wait expectantly, until Sooz continues, “I knew about what Jake did to get us here this summer.”

The shock on my face must be obvious, because she flinches. I tell myself to relax and remember that this is my friend and work colleague. I can’t lose my temper like I did the other night with Jake.

“How did you know?” I ask.

I must be doing a good job keeping my emotions in check because she doesn’t hesitate when she continues. “It just came so out of the blue. The email and then the workload. It didn’t make sense. When we got back home, I started fishing around and finally got some answers. I found out there had been a request put in that specifically asked for you to be on the tour. Just you. Ange must have put her foot down and said we were a package deal and that’s how the work wound up being split between two firms, but I knew something wasn’t right. I never got official confirmation, but I guessed what had happened.”

For a moment there, I thought Sooz had some part to play in all this, so it’s a huge relief to hear her explanation and know she’s not actually responsible for us being here, just that she figured out the real reason why.

I nod, wanting her to keep going, wanting to know everything.

“Remember that first meeting you guys had in the VIP tent back in Nuremberg when I made him go change? I confronted him then about my suspicions and he confirmed it. I just didn’t know what to do with the truth. I didn’t want to upset you. I’m really sorry, Abby. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but I knew how upset you’d be and with things between the two of you being so volatile already—”

I cut her off, not needing any more of an explanation. “Sooz, it’s fine. If it were the other way around, I would have done the same thing. I know I can come across as a crazy bitch when it comes to anything to do with Jake.”

“Or maybe you’re just a crazy bitch full stop,” says a voice from behind us. We all turn and find Amanda with an evil glint in her eyes.

“The only crazy bitch around here is the one chasing an ex who clearly doesn’t want her,” Zoe says. She’s been itching for a fight with Amanda since day one and it looks like she’s finally going to get it.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Amanda snarls back.

She’s angry, but obviously hurt by the truth in Zoe’s words, I can see it in her eyes. It doesn’t last long, and the bickering doesn’t have chance to go any further, as the bus suddenly lunges to a halt and Amanda goes flying down aisle, hitting her head against the wall.

“What the hell!” she cries out in pain.

“We’re no way near Arras. What’s going on?” asks Sooz to the rest of the bus, as if they would know any more than she does. We don’t need to wait long for our answer, as the doors open.

“Oh my God, some psycho killer is about to get on,” squeals Zoe, before diving under the table.

“Really, Zo?” I look to where she’s sitting by my feet, bemused at her cowering form. “The driver knows what he’s doing. He’s not just going to pull over for a stranger.”

We all look to the door, as a tall figure skulks through the frame, struggling as it appears too small for them to fit through easily. When they make it up the steps and stretch to full height, a familiar face is revealed.

“Honey, I’m home!”

“Shaun!” We all shout in excitement, diving up from our seats to greet him.

Once the guys have said hello, I move forward sheepishly.

“Hey, Abby bear.” Beaming down at me, he uses the same affectionate name as his brother. “Long time, no see.”

“No hard feelings?” I ask.

The guys’ reactions to seeing me again have been a mixed bag and I have no idea how Shaun feels about me leaving so abruptly, even after all this time.

“Abby, this is me you’re talking to. Come here.”

Before I know what’s happening, I’ve been enveloped into a bear hug.

“I thought you weren’t meant to get here till we hit Benicassim?” I ask when I pull away.

“Like I could stay away from this shit show for that long.”

I don’t know why I didn’t guess that he would know what’s been going on, the guys have always been close and don’t keep anything from each other.

I sigh. “You’ve heard then?”

He shrugs and says, “Sam’s been keeping me updated. But I could have taken a guess at what’s been going down.”

“Are we so obvious?” I chuckle.

“Yes. I know you both and know what you’re like when you’re thrown together. Messy. Enough said.”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“Hey …” He lifts my chin and winks. “You’ll get through it, you always do.”

I wish I could be as convinced by his words as he is.

“Maybe.”

“Anyway, less about you. You don’t always have to be the center of attention you know.”

He glances around and his eyes have a mischievous glint to them. Looking over my shoulder, his eyes lock on Zoe. His expression changes to one of mischief.

“Now there’s the girl I’ve come for.”

What. The. Hell?