Alec by Margaret McHeyzer
“I’m going to work, but I’m finishing early, because I need to head down to the mall and buy some clothes,” Serena says to me as I make us both a coffee.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll go straight after work. And, I spoke to my supervisor yesterday. Tomorrow I’ll be seeing a counselor about…” She circles her hands. “Everything.”
My chest swells with pride as I sit, staring at Serena. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. So many people would just bottle all this shit up, and think they could deal with it on their own. But not my woman. She’s a tough warrior.”
There’s a gleam in her eyes as she leans in to give me a kiss. “Thank you.” I reach for her but she steps back. “You have breakfast with your brothers, and I have to get to work. But I really want to do a meditation first. I’m going to close the bedroom door, is that okay with you?”
That’s right, she believes in that mumbo jumbo crap. If it’s what she needs to get herself through her day, then who am I to shit on it? “How long will you be?”
She looks at the wall-oven clock and winces. “I’ve got about twenty minutes before I have to leave.”
I turn to look at the clock too. I need to leave in about forty. “Yeah, I’ll just put the TV on, and wait until you’re done.”
“Okay.” She smiles brightly, although I can see she’s barely holding it all together. This last week has been unbelievably hard on her. Serena’s brother went into rehab, her home was invaded while she was there, and her memories of her parents were brought to the surface. Oh man, I can’t imagine how overwhelming all this is for her. I’m glad she’s getting mental health help. She needs it.
The door to our bedroom closes. I walk out to the sofa, and pick up the remote. Slumping into the sofa, I turn the TV on, and start flicking through the channels. Nothing is really catching my interest, until I happen upon the tail end of a home renovation show. This is the least boring thing I’ve found. I’ll watch it until Serena is finished in the bedroom and I can get ready to leave.
My mind starts spinning as the host stages the house ready for it to go on sale. We’ve still got at least the next month here, and I know Serena loves her mumbo jumbo shit, so why don’t I make the spare room into a space for her to do it in there?
I know she loves yellow, so after breakfast with my brothers I’ll head to the store to get a bunch of shit to make her feel comfortable in there. Crap, what does someone need to be able to meditate? I don’t want to ask her, because I want it to be a surprise for her.
I turn the TV off, and grab my phone. I open the search engine, and stare at it blankly. What do I type in? Meditation rooms? Seems like a good place to start.
I click on the photos to try and find something that’ll work in the room I have. Thankfully, it’s large enough that I can move my home gym to one side, and Serena can have a meditation area on the other side. Oh, an eight panel, rice paper room divider. It’s got flowers all over it. It says it’s a zen garden room divider. That’s gotta be good, right? I make a mental note of where I can get this. Another image has this huge round meditation pillow in yellow on the floor. Shit, what the hell is a meditation pillow? Is a meditation pillow different from a regular pillow? What the hell is this? A chakra tapestry? Aren’t tapestries something old women do? Is a chakra tapestry even a thing? Does she need one of those to meditate?
There are candles and indoor water features I can get. Wow, who knew there was so much stuff people can buy? Maybe I’ve got no idea what I’m talking about, but here I thought mediation was closing your eyes and say aum, aum, aum over and over again. There are a few links to places where I can buy this stuff, and I’m pleased to see there’s a place in the local mall. I wonder how long they’ve been there? I don’t recall ever seeing any of this hippy stuff at the mall. I’ll swing by after breakfast and grab things for the room.
“What are you doing?” I hear Serena asking.
She’s caught me browsing the mumbo jumbo stuff, so I quickly flip my phone face down. “Just looking at stuff.” As I stand, I shove my phone in my pocket. “You look beautiful,” I say as I walk over to her and wrap her in my arms. I love it when she’s near me.
“I’m just dressed for work.” She sighs loudly. “I’ve been thinking, maybe it’s time I give up waitressing. It’s too much on me.”
“Thank God,” I reply as I hold her closer to me. “Give all of the jobs up, except the physiotherapy. Keep that one.”
“Nah, I can’t give up the cleaning, not yet. Let me get ahead a little bit, then I’ll look at letting them go. I’ve got a mountain of debt, Alec.”
“Like what?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“Well, there’s the loan I took out to finish college, there’s my car loan, and I have to pay you back.”
I flick my hand at her casually. “That can wait.”
“No, it can’t. You helped me to get my brother into rehab, I need to return your money. You don’t owe us anything.”
Here she goes again, stubborn, and proud. “Serena, we’re going to be buying a house together. How about for now you don’t worry about what I’ve loaned you, and we can figure it out after we buy the house.” She opens her mouth to argue, but I silence her with a kiss. When I feel her body soften in my arms, I pull back. “And what other debt do you have?”
“Well, nothing really. I don’t even have a credit card. But I feel like what I owe you is sitting on my chest like a hundred-pound gorilla.”
“So, what you’re saying is the loan is a major thing because it’s my money?” In all honesty, I have no intentions of ever asking her for it.
“Money is important to everyone, Alec.”
“Okay, then let’s open up a joint account, and what we both have will go into it.”
She drops her hands from around my waist and steps back. “Don’t be ridiculous, we can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Because even some married couples don’t do that.”
“My parents did. There was never an issue between them. I can’t see why there’d be an issue between us,” I counter.
“I’m not comfortable with that, Alec. Your money should be your money. Anyway, I’ve gotta go to work. Do you think you’ll be home for dinner?”
Hell yeah, I will be. Hopefully, I’ll have my gym room ready with her voodoo stuff. I can’t wait to surprise her. “Yeah, I will be.”
“Okay. I should be home about six-ish. I haven’t given my notice at the restaurant yet, but I’m taking a couple of days off from there. Tonight will be an early night for me.” She slings her yellow bag over her shoulder, reaches up and gives me a kiss on the lips.
“See you tonight,” I say as I walk her to the door, and wait for her to leave before I head back into the bedroom to get ready.
“The pancakes here at Elle’s Café are the best,” Rhett says as the three of us sit in a booth toward the back of the café.
“It looks good in here since they made it over,” Dean says as he nervously looks around the café.
“Hey guys, how are you?” Dani greets as she hands us all a menu. Rhett’s eyes widen, he pulls his shoulders back and gives her a nod. Dani’s cheeks turn pink before she lowers her gaze. “I’ll give you a few minutes,” her voice seems to have softened.
“Rhett?” I say in a low voice so Dani can’t hear us. “Are you two...?” I don’t finish the implied sentence.
“What? No,” Rhett says in a huff. “What are you eating?”
Hopefully Serena tonight.I look down at the menu, but can’t help notice how Rhett keeps lifting his gaze to search for Dani every few seconds.
“I’ll get the pancakes,” Dean says and shoves the menu to the side.
“Yeah, same,” I say. “And a coffee.”
Rhett is pretending to peruse the menu, but he can’t take his eyes off Dani. Something is going on between them, and he’s refusing to say anything to us about it. Dani is behind the counter, talking to the older guy cooking, but she keeps turning to look over in our direction too. She casually strolls over, and stands at the end of the booth. “Are you ready?”
“Three pancakes, all with a side of bacon and hash browns. Three coffees,” Rhett says in a clipped and almost rude tone.
“Anything else?” Dani asks with a chirp.
“Nope.” Rhett picks all three menus up, and hands them to Dani barely acknowledging her.
What the hell is happening?
“Sure thing.” She smiles warmly toward Rhett.
The moment she leaves, Dean says, “If Mom was here with us, she would’ve clipped you on the back of the head. Since when do you talk to any lady like that?”
Rhett lowers his gaze, obviously embarrassed by his behavior. “I don’t know what came over me. I’ll apologize when she returns.”
“So you should,” I say. Turning to Dean, I wait for him to tell us why we were summoned here to start with. “What’s going on?” I ask.
“Um.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, and closes his eyes. “Um.” Shit, I’ve never really known him to be frazzled by anything.
“Are Joanne and Thomas okay?” I ask, as I sit straighter.
“Yeah, yeah. They’re good.” He blinks several times, but is still avoiding eye contact with Rhett and myself.
Dani’s holding three mugs by the handles in one hand, with the coffee pot in the other. Rhett sees her, jumps to his feet, and takes the mugs out of her right hand. She smiles warmly at him. “Thank you,” she says.
“I’m sorry for being a jerk to you. I shouldn’t have snapped.” Rhett isn’t afraid to say he’s being a dick, and I admire that about him.
“Apology accepted. Do it again, and it won’t be,” she replies.
Holy shit, Dani’s making it clear that she’s not going to put up with his shit. With a tight smile, Rhett nods. Once our coffees are poured, we all thank her in unison. There are small glances exchanged between Dani and Rhett before she turns to leave.
“I can cut the tension in the air with a knife,” I say.
Rhett shakes his head, and briefly glances over at Dani before returning his attention to us. “Anyway, what’s going on?” He pointedly glares at Dean. “If Thomas and Joanne are okay, then it must be something else. Are you alright?”
Dean sucks in a deep breath, and turns to make sure no one is listening. “Joanne and I have been trying for a baby.”
“Congratulations, man,” Rhett happily cheers.
But Dean doesn’t appear so happy. He shakes his head, and lowers his eyes. “Nah. I wanted to talk to you both, and um...” he stops talking, puffs out his cheeks and blows out the air. “We...um.”
“What the fuck is happening?” I ask.
“Go get yourselves checked, because I can’t have kids.” His eyes redden, and for a moment I’m stuck on what he’s said.
“What?” I ask, still trying to process.
“I’m sterile. I can’t have kids. Joanne is fine, but, I’m not. If either of you ever thought about kids, get yourselves tested.”
Rhett lifts his hand and scratches his head. I’m sitting opposite Dean, and next to Rhett, unable to comprehend the actual words Dean’s spoken. “You’re sterile?”
“Yep.” He nods, but anyone can see this is bringing him a world of hurt.
“Are you sure?” Rhett asks.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Which is why I wanted to talk to the both of you.”
“But, how?” I ask.
He slowly lifts his shoulders. “We don’t know, and the worst thing is, we may never know why I’m sterile. I don’t have the risk factors that can make a man sterile, drugs, alcohol, weight, cancer, there are so many things. You both will likely be fine, but like I said, if you’re considering kids in the future, then go get yourselves tested.”
“Shit,” is the only thing I can say.
“Kids aren’t something I really want,” Rhett says. “So, I’m good. If I’m sterile, I’m sterile.” He shrugs. “I really don’t care.”
“Yeah, you might not care because you’re only twenty-two. But if you meet someone you love, and she wants kids, then you will care,” Dean says. Rhett sits up straighter, his eyes follow Dani behind the counter.
“Yeah, I doubt that’ll happen,” he adds. Rhett picks his coffee mug up, and takes a sip before placing it on the table again.
Both Dean and Rhett refocus toward me. “I think I want kids. Serena and I are going to start searching for bigger houses with more space for whatever happens in the future.”
“Are you? How’s she doing after what happened?” Rhett asks.
Dani interrupts us again, balancing three plates stacked high with pancakes, hash browns and streaky bacon. “These look good.” Dean sits back and peers down at the plate she’s slid in front of him.
“Really good,” I say when she places my plate down.
“It does look delicious. Thank you.” Rhett hasn’t taken his eyes off Dani, not once since she’s been at the table. Why is it I think he’s not talking about the food?
Dani smirks. “Enjoy.”
“I can’t wait to eat it,” Rhett shamelessly flirts with Dani. He’s definitely not talking about the food. He’s an enigma. One moment he’s ignoring her, and the next he’s flirting.
Dani walks away, and I turn to Rhett. “Ask her out.”
“What? Who?”
“We’re your brothers. We can recognize you flirting. Just ask her out,” Dean says. “I’d be happy to call her over and ask her for you.”
“What?” Rhett shrieks. “Just eat your food and shut the fuck up.”
I can’t help but smile. Picking up one of the slices of bacon, I chew it as I watch my brothers be idiots. “As I was saying,” I interrupt their stupid disputes. “She’s doing okay. Serena’s at work today, and they’ve set up counselling sessions for her, too.”
“Have you heard anything about her brother, or is it too early?” Rhett asks.
“Nah, nothing yet. But you know,” I place my elbows on the table and think about her. “She’s had to be strong for so long, that now she feels like she has to keep being strong. She has moments of vulnerability, but those walls are pretty high.”
“She works how many jobs?” Rhett asks. “All so she could give her brother the best possible help.” He clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Most people would’ve washed their hands at that, and moved on with their lives.”
“Her parents died because of her brother’s addictions, too.”
“What?” Dean asks.
“Basically, he stole the father’s car, they tried to find him, someone else was driving the father’s car and ran the parents off the road. They slammed into a power pole, and died. That’s the short version.”
Dean’s eyes widen as he sits opposite me staring. “And she still has his back?” He shakes his head. “That right there shows you how committed she is. Serena is a powerhouse, Alec, and you’re damn lucky to have her.”
“I know,” I agree.
“So, you’re looking for a new house? Are you going to sell yours?” Rhett asks. He’s asking because he wants out of Mom’s house and probably into mine.
“Rent it.”
“Yeah? When do you think this’ll all be happening?”
“We’ll be looking at a house that can accommodate her brother too. And we need to be in it by the time his rehab is done. So, three months.”
“Huh.” Rhett crinkles his forehead. “Three months you say?”
“Yes, Rhett. You can rent it.” I know this is where his casual conversation is heading.
He smiles broadly, incredibly pleased by my offer. “Will the furniture stay?”
“You’re a pain in the ass. Eat your breakfast.” Dean’s snicker reminds me why we’re actually here. “What are you going to do? Is there some kind of medication to help you with your little problem?” I hold my pinky finger up and wiggle it.
“I’m sterile, not impotent, you idiot. But, besides that, there’s nothing much they can do. I suppose, we have Thomas, and I’m grateful for him, but at the same time, I would’ve loved a child of my own.”
I slyly look over to Rhett, he shakes his head and shrugs. “Is there anything we can do to help? Shit, man, I don’t know if there is anything we can do.” I nod in agreement with Rhett.
“Nope, not really.” Dean’s chin lowers to his chest as he breathes out a long, low sigh. I feel for him, he appears beaten and so sad. “It’s okay.” His vacant eyes and toneless response tells both Rhett and me, it’s far from okay.
“Whatever we can do to help, just let us know,” I offer.
“I mean if you want a kid, everyone says you and I look so similar...you know,” Rhett’s high-pitched offering is met with Dean staring at him like he wants to kill him. Rhett’s holding in the chuckle, but if I was Rhett, I’d be running fast.
“Oh man, what song do you want at your funeral?” I ask.
“He has to catch me first.”
Dean narrows his hard stare to Rhett, who’s completely avoiding him. “You’re lucky I need you at work,” Dean says in a deadpan voice.
“You know I was joking, and I love Joanne, but not like that. Anyway, in all seriousness, if you need anything, let us know.”
“I know. Thanks.”
“You okay?” I ask as I continue to eat my breakfast.
“We’ll be fine,” he replies. Dean’s words sound confident, but I know him well enough to know this is killing him.
There’s nothing more we can say about it, so we leave it alone. “Anyway, how’s your new house?” I ask Dean.
“It’s massive. Like, way too big. But Joanne loves it, and it’s ample enough that when her parents come to visit, they’re comfortable.”
“Yeah, how are they with you now?” Rhett asks. “Her old man still trying to pay you off to get rid of you?”
“He’s good now.” Dean finishes the last of his food, and sits back in the booth, throwing one arm up over the back of the seat. The door opens, and two women walk into the café. As they walk past us, they both do a double take, staring at Rhett and giggling. “What the hell?” Dean says when the two girls sit a few tables away. “Do you know them?” he asks Rhett.
Rhett’s in his own world, not even paying attention to the two women, who I’d put in their early twenties. “Who?” Rhett’s completely oblivious to them. Dean discreetly gestures to the two women who keep staring over at our table. Rhett isn’t subtle at all, he looks at them, then turns back to us. “I have no idea who they are.”
“Well, they’re certainly checking you out,” I say.
Rhett instantly searches for Dani, who’s standing at the counter with a tight jaw and a devil glint in her eye. Shit, what is going on with them? They can’t keep their eyes off each other, yet neither have said more than five words. “Are you two fucking?” Dean bluntly asks.
“No, we’re not.”
“Funny, because Dean didn’t mention a name,” I say, catching Rhett out.
Rhett shoves the rest of the food in his mouth, downs his coffee then stands and sighs. “I’m out of here. See you at work tomorrow.” He opens the door and walks past where we’re sitting, he taps on the window with his keys, and sticks his middle finger up at us.
“Bastard left so he wouldn’t have to pay,” I say.
“Why do you think he sits on the outside? Smart boy, that one.” Dean chuckles. “You done?” He looks over at my empty plate, takes in a large breath, then lets it go. “Thanks for listening.” Standing, he walks over to the counter and pays for all our breakfasts. We head out of the café, and I drive straight back over to Mulberry Point Mall. I need to find this hippy store so I can buy Serena her new age stuff for the room.
