Alec by Margaret McHeyzer
Two Weeks Later
Serena is wringing her hands together as I drive her out to New Dawn. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head while looking out the front window. “Nothing.”
Yeah right, nothing my ass. She’s nervous about seeing her brother. From the moment I booked the flights to Kentucky, she’s been buzzing with excitement. But last night she became rigid and withdrawn. “Don’t lie to me,” I say.
Serena draws out a low breath. “I’m nervous.”
“What about?”
“I know this is the best place for him, but what if...?” Serena shrugs. “I don’t know. Part of me can’t wait to see him, and another part of me is terrified of how he’ll be.” She wipes at her eyes and sucks in another deep breath. “What if? I don’t know.”
I grab her hand, and link our fingers together leaving my other hand firm on the steering wheel. “You’re right, he is in the best place. Remember, this is what you’ve worked so hard for. Whatever Jordan’s reaction is going to be, that’s on him. You’ve done everything in your power to get him here.”
“The worst part is, logically, I know this. But, I’m just so nervous. When Jordan was high, I always knew what to expect from him, and that was anger and lies. But now, I don’t know. I can’t remember the relationship we had before he turned to drugs.” Shit. Serena is terrified of a family she’s never really known. “I think it’s time I look to the future as opposed to what I never had in the past. I just hope Jordan doesn’t hate me.”
“I’m sure he’s going through an array of emotions, and hate would likely be high on the scale early on.”
She turns to look at me, her brows up, her nose crinkled. “You’re not helping my anxiety here.”
Fuck. “I just mean...”
“I know. If I’m being truthful, it’s just that I’m frightened for what might happen today.”
“There’s more than one step to recovery, and he has to go through all of the emotions before he can finally make it out the other side.” God, I hope that was the right thing to say. “And of course you’d be nervous. When was the last time you saw your brother sober?”
Serena taps her finger to her mouth as she stares at me, thinking hard on my question. “I can’t even remember. I know it was before I left for college.” I pull into the parking lot of New Dawn, and Serena sits straighter in the seat and looks out at the massive, sprawling building with several wings. The sign reading New Dawn, looks more like it’s announcing a resort than rehabilitation center. The extensive gardens are green with pops of color from blooming flowers.
I turn the car off, and wait to take my cues from Serena. She’s always had to be strong, but right now, she’s completely vulnerable. “When you’re ready,” I gently remind her.
Serena nods once, takes another deep breath, and opens the car door. I get out and rush around to her side, waiting for her to take the first step. She’s fidgeting, and wrings her hands around the bottom of her t-shirt.
I take her bag off of her shoulder, place it on the seat, and envelop her in my arms. Beneath my touch, I can feel her trembling. “It’s okay,” I reassure Serena. I wait for her to stop shaking, pull back and give her a soft kiss on the forehead. “You’ve got this, because you’re tough.”
Serena’s eyes are wide as she stares at the building. “I feel like I’m going to be sick.” She takes a deep breath, pulls her shoulders back and lifts her chin. “I have no idea why I’m feeling like this. But, whatever happens, I put him in there because I love him.”
There’s my girl. “And you’d do it again if you had to.”
She abruptly turns to look at me. With the most confidence I’ve seen in her in today she says, “I won’t, because when he walks out of here, he’ll be a changed man.”
I love how positive she is. “Yep, you’re right.” I hope so too.
She grabs her bag again, and takes the gift bag from the back seat. “I’m ready.” I hold her hand as we walk up to the front door of New Dawn. Once inside, she looks around. “Wow. It feels so different now than when we were here nearly three weeks ago. I was so consumed with Jordan that I never really took it in. It’s quite pretty.” She looks around as we approach the nurses at the front desk.
“Hello, we’re here to see Jordan Whitaker,” I say.
The male nurse smiles. He looks to Serena and says, “You’re his sister, Serena?” Serena nods. “Jordan’s been waiting for you to arrive. He’s been talking about you nonstop.”
“He has?” Serena asks, her eyes fill with tears as she smiles.
“He has.” The nurse notices her handbag, then sees the gift bag. “I’m going to have to search through your bag, and is that for Jordan?” He gestures to the gift bag. Serena nods. “I’m going to have to search through that too.”
“Of course.” Serena takes her bag off her shoulder, and gives it to the nurse, then hands him the gift bag.
“Alternately, you can lock your handbag in one of our lockers, but the gift bag I need to search.”
Serena looks to me as to what to do. “We’ll wait,” I say taking the pressure off Serena to have to think in this moment when she’s super anxious to see her brother.
“We’ll wait,” Serena confirms.
I like how she trusts me and what I say. The nurse takes both her bag, and the gift bag, and after a thorough search, he hands them both to Serena. “Let me see where he is.” The nurse sits in front of his computer, and looks on their security system. “He’s in the courtyard. It looks like he’s sitting with Hannah.” He stands, says something to the other nurse, and comes out from behind the desk. “I’ll show you the way.”
“Thank you.” I take Serena’s hand in mine.
The nurse takes us through two doors that require a swipe card, and walks us to where Jordan is. The closer we get to our destination, the more Serena squeezes my hand. And I’m here to support her. But I’m also leery, because even though the nurse has said Jordan is excited to see her, he may still lash out. And I don’t care if he’s in rehab or not, I won’t let him hurt my woman.
“Here he is,” the nurse says when he opens the door leading us to a tranquil garden with water features and beautiful trees shading part of the outdoor area. Serena squeezes my hand even tighter when she sees her brother. “Jordan, your sister is here.”
Jordan turns from where he’s sitting, sees Serena, jumps to his feet and runs straight to her. Serena drops my hand, her bag and the gift bag, and runs to Jordan. He towers over her, but his frame is so skinny in comparison to my girl. He’s looking healthier, even after just a few weeks in rehab. I swoop up her bag and the gift, and take a few steps toward them.
Jordan is holding her tight, but I’m close by in case something goes horribly wrong. “I’m so sorry,” Jordan repeats over and over again.
“It’s okay,” Serena whispers.
They stand holding one another for a long moment. I can hear them both crying. A lump forms in my throat as I watch this intimate and clearly difficult connection they’re sharing. I look over to the girl Jordan was talking to, and notice she’s rather young. She can’t be older than her late teens. She gives me an awkward smile, then lowers her gaze as she writes something in her notebook.
“Oh man,” Jordan says as he pulls back, and wipes his eyes with the hem of his t-shirt. He looks at me, and crinkles his brows. “I know you,” he says.
Serena steps backward, standing by my side. “This is Alec, my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Jordan’s eyes widen. “Good for you, Serena.” He moves forward and offers a handshake. It’s a step in the right direction in my eyes. “I know we’ve probably met in the past, and I’m sorry for anything I may have said or done to you.”
“We have, and don’t sweat it. You haven’t done or said anything too offensive.” I shake his hand.
“I’m going to go back to my room, Jordan,” the young girl says.
“No, hey. Before you go. Serena, this is my friend, Hannah. And Hannah this is the person who saved my life. My sister, Serena.”
“Nice to meet you,” Hannah says. She stands, and grabs her book. “Come find me when you’re ready.”
It blows my mind how young this girl is.
“I will,” Jordan says.
I have so many questions, because if he and she are involved, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially considering they’re both addicts, and she’s just so damn young. She heads inside, leaving just the three of us at this table. There are other people out here, but they’re not close enough to disturb us.
“Sit, sit.” Jordan pulls out a chair, and waits for Serena before he moves to the next chair to offer it to me. I can tell by the look on Serena’s face, she has the same questions about Hannah that I do. Jordan picks up on it fast. “No,” he starts. “Hannah and I are friends.”
“Um,” Serena says. “She’s very young.”
“You have no idea. There’s something about her, I feel protective of her. Like, I’m her big brother. She got herself involved with the wrong man, and he got her hooked on meth. She thought he was the love of her life, as it turned out, he was her nightmare.” He shakes his head, and runs his hand through his shaggy hair. “She’s such a nice person.”
“But there’s nothing going on, right? Because she’s really young, Jordan. And, two addicts.” Serena makes two fists and bumps them together. “That’s a disaster in the making, you can’t...”
“No! No, it’s nothing like that. We’re just friends,” Jordan reaffirms. He leans forward and clasps his hand over Serena’s. “Thank you,” he says. He looks over to me. “How do I know you?”
“I’m a fireman at Mulberry Point. You came to one of our cookouts.”
Jordan narrows his eyes, trying to recall the interaction. “I don’t remember.”
Shit, what do I say? “You weren’t your normal self.” I try to be as dignified as I can without reminding him he was so strung out.
Ashamed, he lowers his gaze. “I haven’t been a good brother,” he says in a small voice. “Or a good person.” Serena opens her mouth to say something, but I place my hand on her thigh and squeeze. When she looks over to me, I slightly shake my head. Jordan needs to start making amends with his sister. And an apology is only the start.
Serena crinkles her brows, before giving me a strained, knowing smile. She turns to look at Jordan, and nods. “You haven’t been a good brother at all,” she says. Although her voice is strong, her bouncing leg and death grip on my hand over her thigh speaks a secret language only I’m privy to.
A tear runs down Jordan’s cheek. “I don’t think me saying ‘sorry’ is enough for everything I’ve put you through. And Mom and Dad…”
The air around us is thick, and tense. “It’ll be a start toward reconciling and rebuilding a relationship between us, Jordan.”
He wrings his hands together, still looking down and not lifting his eyes to look at Serena. “And I owe you more than the money keeping me in this place costs.”
“You owe it to yourself not to let this opportunity to get clean be wasted. Because, you’re right, this place has cost me so much. And I’m not talking about the money aspect of it.”
He nods, lifts his hand and wipes the tears, still avoiding direct eye contact. “I feel like I’m under a constant dark fog, fighting with the person I was only a month ago to be the person I want to be.”
“No one ever said recovery is easy. But you got yourself into this mess. I got you this far, now it’s your turn to do the rest.” Serena’s firm with her words.
“I’m trying,” he says. Jordan lifts his head slowly, his eyes are red, and tears are freely falling. “I’m sorry, Serena. I know I’ve done and said horrible things to you, and you didn’t deserve any of them. I’m going to fix this. I’m going to fix everything.”
Serena purses her lips together, and nods. She takes in a sharp breath before letting go of my hand and reaching across for Jordan’s. “I want you to fix yourself. Because if you leave here, and go back to the way you were, I’m sorry, but I’m washing my hands of you.”
Jordan’s forehead creases as his chin trembles with worry. Serena may have been hard on him, but he needs to hear it. “I understand,” his voice croaks and breaks. “I won’t let you down.” They stare at each other for a long moment, neither saying anything to the other.
Finally, Serena’s strained smile eases and she replies, “If you’re serious about helping yourself, then I’ll be there to help you every step of the way.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t, as long as you never go back to the drugs.”
Jordan sits a little taller, obviously comforted by Serena’s answers. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
“What?” Serena asks, still holding hands with Jordan.
“You know Hannah?”
“The young girl who you were talking with?” I ask.
“Yeah, her.” Jordan smiles. If he tells me he loves her, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from telling him what I think. I’m fairly certain Serena feels the same way. “She’s young, like late teens, and she’s ended up in here because of a man who manipulated her. I think I want to do something where I can help teenagers like Hannah before they end up dead.”
I see the evident relief on Serena’s face. “How do you want to help?”
“I know I need to go to college, but maybe I can be some kind of counselor for teenagers.” Jordan eagerly stares at Serena. He’s hanging on her words, waiting for her approval.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea, and seeing as you’ve had first-hand experience, you’ll really be able to support these kids in finding a better way.”
Jordan’s wide smile speaks volumes. “You think I can do it?”
“You’ve always been smart, Jordan. But the drugs kept you from being what you could have been. I’m so happy you’re back.”
“I’m going to do this, Serena. I’m determined.”
“Good.” She looks to me, tilting her head to the side as she wordlessly asks if it’s okay to tell Jordan about something. There’s nothing she should hold back from him, so I give her a reassuring nod. She lets Jordan’s hand go, and links our fingers together. “So, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What?”
“We no longer live in that crap house.”
Jordan clears his throat and rolls his neck. “Well, I’ll say this. I’m glad, because you never belonged there. I know you did it so you could help me. I should never have put you in the position compromising your safety because of my drug addiction.”
“Damn straight,” Serena replies. “But, that’s in the past. Anyway, Alec and I are buying a house together.”
Jordan’s reply is nothing more than a shocked expression. “We’ll be buying something that can accommodate you too,” I say.
Jordan stares at me for a moment, before turning his attention to his sister, then back to me. “You do realize, I’m a drug addict?”
“I do,” I reply earnestly.
“And, you’re okay with me living with you?”
I need to make sure my reply is honest, but also boundary setting. “There’ll come a point in your life, Jordan, when you won’t want to live with us. Until you’re ready to be on your own, you’ll have a place to call home with us.”
“But rest assured, I’ll kick you out if you go back to using,” Serena’s eerily calm voice is confident, and she’s being straight with Jordan.
“I understand,” he repeats. “Thank you.” Jordan looks to me and nods. “I know you don’t have to do this, and I’m thankful you are.”
“This isn’t a free ride, Jordan. You’ll owe us,” Serena says. Wow, talk about tough love.
Jordan stands, walks over to Serena, lifts her and holds her. “Thank you.” He kisses her on the cheek. “Thank you for always fighting for me, even when I gave up on myself.”
“You’re my brother. It’s what family does.”
Jordan pulls away from Serena, steps to the side and holds his hand out for me. “I owe you so much.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Jordan.”
He shakes his head. “I owe you both my life, and my future. I’m one hundred percent sure, if I didn’t have you, it would only be a matter of time before I’d become just another dead junkie.”
“I have to say, I was nervous coming here today,” Serena says. Jordan walks back over to where he was sitting. “I didn’t know how you and I were going to be with each other.”
“I’m more embarrassed and ashamed of everything I put you through. I was thinking if you never wanted to see me again, I would’ve respected that, because I know I put you through hell.”
“Yes, you did. Anyway, how’s it going here? Do you like it?”
“It’s hard. And every moment of every day all I can think about is trying to get back to where I was. But, at the same time, I know this is exactly where I need to be. The first two weeks were absolute hell. I struggled with detoxing, and the need to get high. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. The counselors are amazing. Some of them have been addicted themselves and have turned their lives around, which gives me so much hope. If they can do it, I can do it too.”
Serena smiles proudly. “Yeah, you can.”
“It was when I met Hannah that I really started thinking how I wish there was a way I could do something to help kids like her. She’s so young. And her story is mind-blowing. And when I was talking to my counselor, he said if I apply myself, I can do what he does. I want to be more than just an ex-junkie.”
“If you want to, then you can do anything,” Serena encourages.
“Tell me about you two.” Jordan changes the topic, not wanting to talk about himself anymore. “How did you meet?”
“I hurt myself at work, and needed to keep my strength up. Guess who was my physiotherapist?” I pointedly look over to Serena.
“He was an asshole,” she bluntly says.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Yes, he was. He called me fat.”
I slowly close my eyes, a massive smirk stretching across my face. “In my defense, I was hurting.”
“You mean you were an ass?” Serena corrects. I cock my head to the side, and deliberately raise a brow. “Admit it, you were an ass.”
“Whatever.” I can’t help but smile. “But you weren’t exactly a ray of sunshine yourself.”
“I was professional.”
“You called me an asshole.”
“If you didn’t act like one, I wouldn’t have called you one,” she counters.
I wave my hand, dismissing her words. “Ridiculous allegations,” I say. “I’m always courteous to everyone.”
Serena rolls her eyes at me.
Jordan chuckles and sits back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I can see how this goes.”
A glow radiates off Serena. The moment the laughter fades away, Serena says, “I love him, Jordan, and Alec loves me too.”
“I can see that. He hasn’t taken his hand off you once the whole time you’ve been here. He’s protective of you, and it makes me happy to know you’ve found a good guy like Alec.” He looks over to me and nods slowly. “Thank you, for being her rock. Because since we lost Mom and Dad, she’s always been on my side, regardless of how I’ve treated her.” He switches his gaze back to Serena. “You need someone who’s on your side, and now I’m certain you have someone who is.”
Serena chokes back tears, wiping at her eyes before they fall. “I need Alec, Jordan. For me, nothing is more important than the two of you getting along, because I love you both. Obviously, in different ways.”
“I would hope so.” Jordan wrinkles his nose up.
I lean in and kiss Serena on the cheek. Overprotectively, I snake my hand up to the back of her neck to hold and massage her nape. When Serena turns to look at me, her eyes light up with so many emotions. No words are needed because we both know how I feel for her.
“Where are you looking at buying a house?” Jordan asks, interrupting our nano-moment of intimacy.
“Mulberry Point. My work is there, and Serena is at the hospital, so it makes sense to stay in the area.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Jordan asks.
“Yes, get clean, and stay clean,” I say.
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m not going to let you down again, Serena. I promise you that I will not let you down.”
“On that note, I bought you a present.” Serena hands the gift bag over to Jordan.
“For me?” He pulls the bag over to him, and opens it, peeking in the top. “You got all my favorite candies. Thank you.” Standing, he leans across the table, and gives Serena a quick hug. “Do you mind if I share some of these with Hannah?”
“It’s yours to do with what you want,” Serena replies.
“Just so we’re clear, the peanut M&M’s are mine and mine alone.” Jordan chuckles. “Thank you.” A man walks out, and places his hand to Jordan’s shoulder, startling him. Jordan turns, and the moment he sees the man, he smiles. “Jack, this is my sister, Serena. Her partner, Alec. This is my counselor,” Jordan proudly announces.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Serena. Nice to meet you.” He shakes Serena’s hand, then mine. “You’re late for your session,” he says to Jordan.
“Shit! I’m sorry. I got caught up talking with my sister.”
“We can reschedule it for this afternoon,” Jack offers.
“No, please. Alec and I have to leave.” Serena and I both stand to our feet. “But we’ll be back tomorrow before our flight.”
Jordan’s shoulders drop, but he hesitantly nods. “Okay,” he says. I’m sure he wants to keep talking with Serena, building on their fractured relationship. “Thank you for coming, and thank you for this.” He looks down at the gift bag.
Serena walks over to him, and throws her arms around him. “I’m proud of you for trying, Jordan. So, damn proud.” They embrace tightly for a few moments, until Jack clears his throat. “We’ll be back tomorrow.” She kisses Jordan on the cheek.
“I love you,” Jordan says. He then looks over to me, and holds his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. “Thank you,” he mouths.
“I love you.” Serena reaches for my hand, grasping it tight as Jordan and Jack head back into the building. When he disappears inside tears stream down her cheeks and she turns to bury her face into my chest. “I’m so happy,” she says.
Kissing the top of her head, I hold her so tight she’ll never doubt the love and support I have for her.
“Are you ready to go back to the hotel?” I ask.
“Absolutely.”
Holding hands, we head out and back to the car.
