Deviant Vows by Anna Widzisz
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Davina
My heart has been sinking with every passing minute until I parked in the underground. By that time it has been completely shattered into millions of pieces without a possibility to put it back together.
How could I be so stupid to let my feelings get in the way after all those years? I’ve sworn to myself that no one would even come close to touching it, let alone destroying it. My hatred for men made sure of this. But then I made the worst decision to marry even when every fibre of my being told me not to. I did this for my people. I did this for the Firm.
Yet the Firm has never truly been mine to rule, and Macsen declared that before I even said I do. I have no doubts that he’s been behind all of it from the very beginning. And it started from the moment I signed the agreement.
I went back to that moment, requesting surveillance from the owner of the wedding venue. That’s when I saw Theo slipping one more piece of paper in between my documents, which most definitely was the thing that the police got as evidence. Then, because it wasn’t enough, he hired the assassin after my fight in the Colosseum because I went behind his back and risked my life and the Firm’s reputation.
But nothing compares to the fact that all this time he pretended like he gives a single fuck about me. I believed in his innocence when he looked devastated after my attack. He tried to help me overcome my fear of being close to anyone; having anyone behind me. He played me for a fool.
And I can only blame myself for this. If I didn’t develop any feelings for him, he wouldn’t have been able to do it. I was blindsided. But it ends now. It ends tonight.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Diego asks as we both get out of our cars. He insisted to see me off because with the state I am in, I am a flight risk.
I shake my head, only half listening to him. “Go home. I’ll call you when I need you. William will clue you in tomorrow on our plan to secure the Firm. I’ll deal with the last loose cannon,” I tell him, thinking of Macsen.
I press the button to the elevator, anger buzzing in my whole body and I find it hard to stop from shaking. I usually let it explode in a physical way by going to the gym. Not this time. There’s only so much that can be achieved with violence. As much as I’d love to beat the shit out of my lying husband, I cannot find the strength to include it in my plan.
I guess that’s what love does with people. It lets us believe that we’re invincible. Like we’re on the top of the world, but then it rips us apart like we never mattered.
My anxiety, fear, and rage are coiling inside me, and I’m a mess by the time the doors slide open with a view of the living room. Macsen is sitting on the sofa with his iPad in his hands, working. There are also two guards nearby for some odd reason. As soon as they see me, they know that something is wrong.
“Leave,” I snap. “Now!”
They look back at their boss, showing me exactly that loyalty isn’t shared just because life is. Every day I’ve been in this penthouse, I was in danger. One wrong move and I’d be long dead. Why was I so stupid to think I ever mattered? Why did he make me feel so safe just to take it all away and use my most vulnerable memory against me?
Perhaps he even somehow knew what happened all those years ago with Taylor before I even told him. Maybe he hates me that much. To break me because I’d be no threat to him then.
I see Macsen’s confused expression as he puts down the iPad and stands. He rakes his hand through his hair, and for a second I forget what’s breathing. He reminds me of something so powerful and forbidden. Something beautiful but deadly.
He’s deadly. Poisonous even, and I feel like I drank that poison.
Our eyes lock on each other, and everything comes back to me.
I pull out a knife, and with one strong move, I throw it in his direction. Maybe violence isn’t the answer but it sure as hell is going to make me feel better.
He dives down at the last second and the weapon bumps against the wall and falls down. I don’t wait. My legs start moving and I run towards him with my palms closed into fists about to land a hit on his face. He blocks it, gripping my wrist tightly and whirls me around so that my back hits his chest. He knows me enough to anticipate my moves. I give everything in me to somehow get out of his hold, but he doesn’t let me.
“Davina, for fuck’s sake! Stop it! What has got into you?”
I pull my arms back. My shoulder is still healing after the fight and a pang of pain shoots through my back. I ignore it and ram my head back, twisting my body so that Macsen loosens his grip and I get out. I land a kick to his stomach as he steps back.
“That’s for betraying me!” I yell, kicking again. This time in his knee. “And that’s for attacking me in my own home!”
“You’re the one attacking me now,” he bites back but doesn’t move to hit back. As if hurting me is the last thing he wants. Which I know is all a game. He just doesn’t know I figured it out yet. He will play the dutiful husband until he no longer can.
“I’m just giving back.”
I want to punch him some more, but the anger doesn’t lessen and I know I’m on the edge of losing control over myself. That has proven to be a bad thing when Macsen is around. It’d end in sex which I can’t afford anymore.
I take a few steps back.
I should have known better by now, but it seems like I’ve never really learnt my lesson. With a scream, I punch the wall busting my knuckles. I hear bones crack and I know that my hand is broken, but I don’t care.
Talk about Macsen being an unhinged one. Right now no one would bet on it because he keeps his composure.
“Davina, you hurt yourself,” he says, walking up to me. I jump back, looking at him with disgust.
Blood drips down my fingers to the floor.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asks.
“Stop this act! I know what you did.”
“Great. Now, will you enlighten me? Because I still have no idea.”
He looks clueless, but I shake my head. No, he’s not going to mess with my head. I know what happened. I know who he is now. And I don’t trust him one fucking bit.
“Why did you set me up with the police? Why did you get one of your assassins to come after me?” I ask. “Don’t you have enough balls to do it yourself? To fight me openly instead of being a coward?
“I didn’t do it, Nyx. Bloody hell, why do you think I've done it?” I don’t answer. He has a better chance of making me believe him if I get into a conversation with him about it. “I’d never do that. You’re my wife. I’m bound to protect you.”
“I remember what you said back at our first meeting. You wanted the Firm to yourself. You wanted me to submit to you.”
“That was a long fucking time ago, Davina! Many things have changed.”
I nod. “Yes, I fell in love just to be played by the devil.”
Macsen glances at me. My anger affects him and he’s no longer the reasonable one in this conversation. “Are you joking? Don’t talk to me about love. You’re still so full of hate that you don’t know where hatred ends and love begins, Davina.”
Macsen
I know how love feels like, how my heart pounds every time Davina is with me. After I expressed my feelings in the library, I knew she wouldn't share her feelings right away. So I waited. Patiently waited like a love-sick fool to hear her say those three words.
I imagined the moment she would and how she would fall in my arms, gifting me with kisses and warmth. But today she did and it feels like a nightmare I want to get out of as soon as possible.
If she even said that she hates me, I wouldn’t be fucking bothered. But the minute she walks in, accusing me of hurting and betraying her, something snaps within me. It feels like she crushed my heart into uncountable pieces, with no way of ever putting it back together. A heart that I had always thought never existed because I sacrificed it the day I stepped into the world of crime and violence.
But Davina brought that soulless heart back for me unknowingly. And here she is ripping it from my chest with her words. Her fists don’t hurt me but her mistrust is stabbing me again and again.
She lets out a sarcastic chuckle before shaking her head in dismay. “I really shouldn’t have trusted you. I should have reminded myself that all men are the same. You just want to claim and rule by hook or by crook. The minute you see a woman coming close to the place you are, you don’t hesitate to cut off her wings and let her fall. Bleeding and alone. Just like Taylor.”
Rage takes over the agony as she dares to compare me to the monster who took away her innocence. I stand in front of her feeling my blood racing. “Don’t even fucking put mine and that fucking bastard’s name in the same sentence. What he did is unforgivable, but I didn’t do anything–”
“You did worse than him, Macsen. You broke my trust that can never be mended. He never had it in the first place.”
“You are judging me as guilty without even knowing the truth.” I point a finger at her. “Since that night I saw the girl who went through hell, I got to know more about the woman I married and fell in love with. I vowed to myself that I will do everything in my power to protect you and be there for you.”
She pushes hard against my chest but I don’t budge. “You fucking arsehole, stop! Just stop pretending. The truth is out so quit acting like you care for me.”
“I do fucking care for you!” I yell.
She raises her hand, landing a sharp slap across my face. I don’t fight back or let her stop this time. “Stop. Lying,” she hisses angrily.
“Oh, Nyx, power and pride have really blinded you,” I mutter with disappointment painting my voice. “Do you even know why I didn’t respect the separation of the Firm as I should?”
She rolls her eyes, her hands crossed on her chest. “Yes, because of what your father told you about me.”
“No, Davina. Not completely. It’s because I started to admire you when you were my enemy. When I should have questioned your sanity after I heard how you went berserk in the Quarter.”
“I don’t believe a single word that comes out of your mouth. Just admit that you planned the attack on me just so you could take over the Firm. Your plan failed so you tried another way by getting close to me, by playing on my emotions. I have seen the footage from our wedding. I have seen with my own eyes how you and your family betrayed me. Say it, Macsen,” she holds my jaw tightly with her fingernails digging into my skin like she wants me to suffer physically, “So help me God if I have to strap you to a chair and torture you for hours to make you tell the truth, then I will do it.”
My hand goes behind her to grip her hair. Bringing her head back, I urge her to meet my eyes filled with the honesty that she is denying seeing. “Skin me alive if you need to, Nyx, because that won’t hurt as much as your mistrust does.”
She snickers darkly. “For what you did, that punishment is little to nothing. I should pull my gun out and shoot you right through your wretched heart.”
I grin back, feeling the emotionless and cold man who first met her crawling his way back. “You and I both know that’s something you can’t have because of our marriage. Neither can we kill each other nor can we end our marriage. We are bound for the rest of our lives. Remember? Till death do us apart, Mrs Addison.”
I pull away from her, not having any desire to be anywhere near her. Davina’s touch now feels like venom poisoning my skin. We both glare at each other with fire and murder shining in our eyes.
“This marriage has been a mistake since the very beginning but as we both have to fucking live with this arrangement, then it's better we part our businesses. Fuck your partnership.”
“Do whatever you want, like you always do, Davina. Just remember when you want to look upon someone to share that ice-cold heart of yours, then I won’t be here. You are on your own,” I mutter, heading to the door to leave.
“Don’t even count on it. I’d rather die than ever lower myself to the point that I have to come to you.”
Her last words make me halt at the doorway as I let her wound me one last time before I finally continue walking and shut the door with a loud bang.
If only I knew love is as strong as hatred, then I wouldn’t have let myself drown in it.