Deviant Vows by Anna Widzisz
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Davina
I am skipping a rope, sweat running down my body. My sports bra and shorts are soaking wet. Though, I couldn’t care less because while I’m doing cardio, my mind is able to finally rest for a little bit. Perhaps it’s the only moment when it can. Especially now with how hectic my life has been ever since I’ve separated myself from Macsen and his business.
However, the worst of it all wasn’t the amount of work. I’m perfectly content with my job. I’ve managed all of this before and I can do it right now as well since I’m no longer forced to deal with the police or anyone else who might be a threat to me or my ventures. The worst is having to pretend as though Macsen and I are still together. As though we aren’t separated and a married couple only on paper, and we still share everything, when in fact all we do have in common now is hatred towards each other.
I still can’t forgive myself for letting my guard down. For letting him in more than I initially planned. And mostly for trusting that just like my feelings, his has changed for the better as well.
I pick up the pace, stopping the count of how many repeats I do. Anger races through my veins while tears threaten to escape my eyes. I’ve become less of a woman than I was before because half of what I’ve been hiding from people – my feelings – were gone.
It’s not fair having to struggle for years with my nightmares, with the terror of seeing Taylor everywhere and feeling him touching me, then pretending as though I didn’t care about anyone only to get caught up in this web of lies, once again trusting a man when I knew I shouldn’t have.
History exists so we can learn from it, yet I seem to treat it as an option.
I hear the ringing of my phone, getting me out of my zone and my legs get tangled in a rope. Breathing heavily, I walk up to the window where I’ve left my sports bag and take out the phone. There’s an unknown number calling, probably another reporter sniffing for any breaking news that somehow got hands on my number. I decline the call.
“Ready to go?” Diego comes into the gym.
“Not really, but I suppose I signed up for this job.” I shake my head, taking a towel and wiping my face.
“You can always reschedule. It’s not like the investors are going to back out. They are far too afraid to do so.”
“It’s not exactly wise, Diego. Besides, I need their money now that I’m back to my old structure.”
One of the benefits of this marriage was money. Ever since I took over the Firm I had plenty of it but as I grew, so did the investments and expenses. I’ve made some big changes once I got married that required bigger sums, and now I need to handle it. Even if it means sucking up to some old fuckers.
My phone rings again.
I roll my eyes, declining again. Then I look at Diego. “I’ll take a quick shower and be right there.” He nods and I take my things, heading for the showers.
“Nyx,” Diego calls after me.
I turn around. “Yes?”
“Thanks for the promotion. It means a lot,” he says and leaves me alone.
Honestly, I’ve always been comfortable racing with him through the city streets but he is a man, and I’ve never trusted men. This hasn’t changed but he most certainly showed me that he’s serious about his job and as much as I don’t want to admit it to him, I’m thankful for him being in the house to take my attacker down. So I’ve given him more responsibilities, one of which is in the Colosseum. He helps set up the fights and recruits new fighters. Besides that, he attends meetings with me sometimes when William isn’t available or I don’t feel like dealing with people on my own.
I shower and change my clothes quickly, declining another few calls at the same time. I swear those reporters are annoying as hell and soon I’ll have to change my number so they will leave me alone. Neither I nor Macsen is willing to talk to the press about our situation. And it’s not like we can get a divorce either. As far as our soldiers are concerned, nothing has changed. They think we are doing all of this together still. Which is for the better. I don’t want a mutiny, and I just hope that Macsen has at least a little bit of common sense left and won’t try to attack me, my people, or my businesses again.
Soon we are on our way to the meeting. It’s honestly really monotonous how my days are filled with meetings and close to nothing else. Thank God that Arya called earlier today asking if I have a free evening. We plan to go out for drinks as we’re both swept with work most days and need some time away. I’m not one for the company but refusing her isn’t even something I can consider. One night of pretending I’m someone else might do me good.
As I’m about to walk into the restaurant where I’m meeting the investors, I get another unknown call.
Alright, that’s it. I’ve had enough of this.
I pick up. “Listen to me. If you so much as call me one more time, fishing for any drama to put in that joke of a newspaper of yours, and I’ll rip you a new one,” I threaten, my cheeks burning.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t interrupt something.” Instead of the voice of a reporter, I hear a soft female one that I can’t help but think that I know from somewhere. “It’s Amelia Addison, Macsen’s mother. Am I speaking to Davina?”
I swallow a lump in my throat. That’s someone I’ve never imagined would have called me in the first place. I haven't had contact with any of the Addisons ever since I moved out. William does everything for me on this front. Hell, I haven’t even been listening to anyone who wants to tell me something about any of them. I stay clear.
So how in the world has Macsen’s mum got my number. And why is she calling me?
I clear my throat. “Yes, speaking. Hello, Mrs Addison. How may I help you?” I ask politely. This woman has been nothing but nice to me each time we met.
“Oh, dear. Call me Amelia, please.”
“Alright, Amelia.”
“I’m calling you with a rather touchy subject. I’ll understand if you refuse, but to be frank, you’re my last resort. Lara hasn’t done any better than me, so I thought of you.”
I sigh, seeing where this is heading. “Listen, Amelia. If it concerns Macsen, I’m really not interested. I’ve separated myself from him for a reason and I’m not planning on coming back so–”
“You’ve separated? Something happened?” She sounds honestly surprised by my words which tells me that Macsen must have kept our problems hidden from his family as well. I didn’t expect that. Everyone else, yes, but not necessarily his family.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Davina, I realise that you haven’t decided to get married because of love but at dinner, I kind of hoped that it changed.”
You and I both.
Especially after hearing his love confession, even though I pretended I didn’t. But I was terribly wrong.
“It’s rather far from that,” I say. “What did you call me for exactly?”
She pauses and I hear the heaviness in her breath. “Macsen is keeping Theo locked up and doesn’t want to let him go. Both Lara and I have been begging him but he’s standing by his decision and we don’t even know what’s really going on between them but–”
“What do you mean Macsen is keeping Theo locked up?”
To say that I’m confused would be an understatement. Perhaps I should have kept my ear out for news. Now I feel like I’m completely not up to date with everything that’s going on in the Firm.
“All I know is that Macsen is angry with Theo for something. He said that he betrayed him and the Firm and he’s not going to make it out alive. He’s been keeping him locked in the basement and none of us can put some sense into him.” She sighs. “Davina, I can’t lose my boy. I can’t lose any of them. They are my world.” Her plaintive voice gets to me and my chest tightens.
The Addison brothers were always extremely tight. They worked well together, so I really can’t understand how it happened that they are fighting. And in such extremes.
“I’m not sure what I can even do, Amelia. It’s your family.”
“You belong to our family. You’re a part of it. And maybe you can talk to Macsen. Maybe he will listen to you.”
I want to laugh. I’m the last person he’d listen to. He never cared, so why would he right now?
“I’m not important to him. I can't see how I can do anything about it.”
“You may not have realised it, but I have, Davina. I saw how my son was looking at you at that dinner. Like you’re the most important person in the world. That’s love, and I know something about it. Whether you see it or not, that boy loves you. I know he has a hard time showing it, and even harder telling it, but he does love you. Believe me.”
I don’t believe her, but I can’t find it in me to refuse her. “I’ll try. But please don’t get your hopes up. It’s going to take a miracle for me to make Macsen do something.”
“It’s a good thing I’ve always believed in miracles. If they didn’t happen, my son wouldn’t have met someone like you.”
✽✽✽
I have always had a pretty bad temper. Blame it on my spoiled ass growing up. We were never the richest family, but my dad made decent money as a fixer. Then later my sister got married and we’ve been taken care of by Taylor by default. So I had everything I’ve ever wanted for most of my childhood and youth.
Everything except understanding. So I acted out when I didn’t get something I wanted.
And I act out now just the same. Just for totally different reasons.
No surprise that this is why I changed my mind about going to see Macsen at least ten times in the last hour. I couldn’t even focus on the meeting and probably handed the investors a much better offer than I initially planned to.
Though, by the end of the day, I decided to drive to Macsen’s family house where he was supposedly staying along with Theo. Honestly, if he’s that angry at his brother to the point of probably beating the shit out of him, God knows what for, it’s additionally cruel to do it so close to his mother and sister. Victor probably doesn’t care as much as he should. I wouldn’t paint Macsen as this kind of violent man. He always seemed to protect his family from his life to the best of his capabilities.
By the time I reach my destination – Addison’s cottage manor – my heart is slamming against my ribcage, ready to run away from what it recognises as a threat. Putting myself in the middle of family problems isn’t what I like. Especially this family. Not to mention that I’ve stupidly decided to come alone.
As I park my car right next to Macsen’s, I already know he is, in fact, here. For someone who didn’t visit as much because of his parents living on the outskirts, he sure had some hell of a weird plan to take his brother here. Looking up, I see a dark figure on the balcony. Definitely a male’s.
I take a deep breath and go to the front doors, feeling my palms sweat and I curse myself for being here. It’s none of my business what Macsen does at this point, but as they say, curiosity killed a cat. So here I am about to die for that small piece of information.
I hold up my hand to knock but the doors open, revealing Victor Addison with his stone-cold expression. “You shouldn’t be here, Davina.”
“Don’t I know it,” I whisper, pushing past him without waiting for an invitation. I guess Amelia’s call was enough. Besides, I don’t owe that family any common courtesy anymore. “Where’s Macsen? I came to talk to him.”
“As I said, it’s not–”
“And I’m telling you I don’t give a single fuck,” I interrupt him, looking him straight in the eyes. I see someone slipping by in the kitchen. Probably Amelia not wanting to disturb. Surely, Victor doesn’t even know about her call to me.
“Well, you should because you’re always in the middle of all the problems that we have in the Firm.”
I laugh bitterly. “That’s rich coming from you.”
“Davina,” I hear Macsen’s voice and my head snaps to the right. He’s standing on the stairs, visibly shocked that I’m here. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and jeans which is really unlike him. His body is tense just by a single look at it and his knuckles are busted and red.
My eyes shift back to his face. Besides the confusion, I can see dark circles under his eyes. Almost as if he hasn’t been sleeping well. Or perhaps at all. The dark hair is tousled but he still looks better than any other man I’ve ever laid eyes on. Which says a lot.
“We need to talk.”
He nods and gestures to the doors of the office that I remember he mentioned last time when he was giving me a tour of the place. For a second, I thought he’d take me to the library as he said he felt the most at peace there. However, it’d be a kick in the stomach for me with the way the memories would flow right in my head. He must have thought the same.
I wait for him to move first as I won’t risk having him behind my back and he knows that. Victor walks with him.
“I’m sorry.” I stop the old man, pressing my palm on his chest. “I don’t remember inviting you. It’s a private conversation.”
“We no longer have those, Davina. My father will come. Whatever you have to say can be in his presence.”
It doesn’t sit well with me but I’m too tired to fight him on this. After tonight it won’t make any difference anyway because it’s going to be the last I see him. We close the doors behind us. I stay near, though, in case I need a quick way out. Macsen leans on the desk and Victor stands a little to his left with his hands in the pocket of his slacks.
“Why did you lock Theo up?” I ask.
“I’m not going to even ask how you know that. But as I recall, Davina, we’re done so you have no business being all up in my life and what I do and to whom. It’s the matter of my Firm,” he says, and anger lights up in me like fireworks.
“We still rule the Firm together so don’t give me the speech about what’s yours and mine.”
“We rule together only in the eyes of the public.”
“It’s enough for me to demand an answer. How did Theo betray the Firm?”
“I didn’t say he betrayed the Firm.” Macsen is fishing. He knows that my finding out about it isn’t random but I’m not here to throw his mother under the bus when all she does is worry about her children.
I roll my eyes. “So? What the hell did he do?”
Victor steps up. “You have the nerve coming here and demanding information. Theo is under Macsen’s control. Not yours.”
“Yes, and you have no problem treating him like garbage as long as you have your precious firstborn to rule once you drop dead.” I pause. The fucker is getting on my nerves. “News flash, Victor, you have two sons.”
“Careful, Nyx. Or I might think you chose to marry the wrong one after all.”
Is he fucking serious? Since when my reminding him of the family he has, means that I have a thing for his younger son? I can barely stand Theo. I know it’s laughable that I’m standing here defending him for God knows what, but family should mean something, shouldn’t it? I have one big, screwed-up one, but I thought they were at least a little bit better.
“Be careful, Victor. Or I might think leaving your arse alive and out of prison was a mistake.”
“You didn’t do this for me. You did this for you. I don’t know why, but your help wasn’t out of the goodness of the heart. We both know you don’t have one.”
“Honestly, if I did something for myself, you’d be dead just like the rest of the directors. I didn’t necessarily do this for you as much as the Firm because you could rule well enough. Don’t make me regret my decision now, Victor.”
Macsen sighs. “Are you done?” He glances at me, then at his father. “Leave us,” he tells him.
“But–”
“I said something.” Macsen’s voice raises and he sounds powerful. Enough so that it works and Victor leaves the office. He’s not happy about it but does listen to his son.
Silence falls over us and I can hear my deep breath as my heart skips a bit. Then Macsen looks at me and it completely stops. It feels like nothing has really changed when in fact everything did. I just can’t help but let all those feelings back in, and it’s hard to keep myself from crying.
Why did he have to betray me like that?
Why wasn’t I enough?
Why am I not enough for anyone?
I take a deep breath, calming myself before speaking. “Will you tell me at last what Theo did?”
Macsen shifts, gripping the edge of the desk. “He was the one behind all that you accused me of. He teamed up with Jacob Fiennes who told him a bullshit story of why you killed Taylor and the rest of those directors. And he thought you’d treat me just the same.” He pauses, and I start to shake. “He hired that assassin to attack you, and he was the one to slip in that paper without my knowledge.”
I don’t answer, trying to process the news.
So Macsen wasn’t the one who betrayed me? Did Theo work behind his brother’s back? And with Jacob of all people?
I bite my lip.
Macsen pushes off the desk and walks up to me, cupping my cheeks. I look up at his face and I don’t see that harshness he always has. It’s all soft and truthful.
“I didn’t know about any of this, Davina. I should have because I’m the boss but I didn’t. I failed you. I’m so sorry.”
His thumb brushes my lips and I have a tough time pushing him away. But I still do. Because right now I have other things to do.
“I need to talk to Theo.”
“No.” Macsen shakes his head. “I promise I’ll deal with him. He will die for that betrayal.”
I breathe out, just now realising I’ve been holding my breath from the moment he touched me. “I wasn’t asking, Macsen. I need to talk to him. Alone.”