Alpha Theo by C.J. Primer

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Theo

My head is pounding when I squint my eyes open, rolling over in my bed. Judging from the light spilling in through the crack in the curtains, it’s late in the morning- maybe even early afternoon. I throw the sheets off and heave my body upright, twisting to set my feet on the floor. My hand flies to my temple, the pain of my headache searing with every movement.

I push off of the bed, rise to stand. Take a step and fall backwards onto my bed again, startled by the sharp sting of pain radiating from the bottom of my foot.

What the fuck?

I lean forward, peering down at the floor beside my bed. The lamp that was on my nightstand is lying on its side, surrounded by thin shards of glass from the shattered bulb.

I pick up my foot, raising it to my lap and turning it sideways. A piece of glass is sticking out of the bottom, dark red blood pooling around it. I pick it out, stare at my foot as my shifter healing kicks in and works to knit the skin back together.

What the fuck happened last night?

I look around my room, blinking, trying to piece it all together. And then my eyes land on the leather jacket that I bought for Brooke wadded up on the floor by my nightstand and it all comes flooding back.

I finally got Brooke on my bike. Fuck, I can still picture her spinning around after I put that jacket on her, asking how she looked. I can still feel the sensation of her legs spread behind mine, her body pressed to my back, her arms around my waist. I can still taste the thrill of the adrenaline coursing through my veins when I pushed off, started down the road.

And then things went so fucking wrong. I didn’t mean to drive like that- I was just so fucking jacked to have her on the back of my bike. My wolf was going absolutely nuts, too- he was practically driving the bike for me. I heard Brooke screaming but by the time I picked up on the distress in her voice, I couldn’t rein it in, slow it down, get my wolf under control- the rush was too strong, clouding my rationality.

When I finally did stop, Brooke freaked the fuck out. I’ve never seen her like that before. And then, like an idiot, I kissed her, thinking that would make it better somehow.

I’ve kissed a lot of girls, but I’ve never had a kiss like that. The moment our lips connected it was like goddamn explosion. Who would’ve thought that something as simple as a kiss could feel so fucking euphoric? I could’ve stayed there forever on the side of that road, holding Brooke, kissing her…

But she pushed me away. Screamed at me. Told me what she really thought of me. And then I left her.

I should’ve gone back. Shouldn’t have left her in the first place. I know that now, but I wasn’t thinking straight in the moment- I have a short fuse and I fucking lost it. I drove off, went directly to the bar, started pounding whiskey shots like it was my goddamn job. Got absolutely fucking wasted.

Everything’s hazier after that. I vaguely remember coming back to the dorms, seeing Brooke on the other end of the hallway…

Fuck.

Sutton was at the bar in Goldenleaf. She walked back with me, tried to get me to come to her room and fuck her. A few weeks ago, I might’ve, but things are different now. Even I’m not that big of a prick. I kept trying to tell her to get lost, and then I saw Brooke.

It must’ve looked bad. Really fucking bad. The last thing I remember is snapping at Sutton to get the fuck away from me, her calling me an asshole and storming off as I staggered up to my door and found Brooke’s jacket hanging on the knob. That’s when it really hit me how colossally I fucked things up with her- when I picked up her jacket, breathed in that intoxicating scent of coconut and rain. I opened my door, threw the fucking jacket across the room. It crashed into something- the lamp. And then I flopped down onto my bed and lay there feeling sorry for myself until I passed out.

I feel like shit, and not only because I’m hung over. I’m man enough to admit that Brooke was the best fucking thing that ever happened to me- and I totally blew it. I always knew I would, but I guess I just thought I had more time.

As much as her words stung, she wasn’t wrong. That’s the most frustrating part of this whole thing- I’ve always needed someone to call me on my bullshit, but I couldn’t handle it when she did. Even if it was all true, it still fucking hurt to hear it from Brooke. I know what other people think of me, but I thought she saw me differently, thought more of me. Saw me for who I could be instead of just the fuck-up that I am.

Not that I proved her wrong after that. I shouldn’t have driven away. I should’ve stayed there, sorted things out with her. Instead, I did what I always do- bailed when things got hard.

I was always afraid that I’d wind up hurting her. It never occurred to me that I’d also get hurt in the process. Fuck, she’s right about that, too- all I do is hurt everyone around me, including myself. And now I’m sitting here feeling fucking sorry for myself again.

Like it or not, things have changed since Brooke walked into my life. For once, I don’t want to just run away from my problems, get a random girl underneath me to help me forget. I don’t want to be the guy that Brooke thinks I am. I know a simple apology won’t fix things between us, but maybe if I show her I can be better, different, she’ll find some way to forgive me. Maybe if I start believing in myself, she’ll start believing in me again, too.

So I fucking pull myself together. Take a shower, get dressed. And I get on my bike and head for the last place anyone would ever expect me to.

~

When I arrive at the packhouse in Summervale, my dad’s as surprised to see me as I am to be there. I haven’t been back since I threw a plate at the wall after he told me that Cory was taking Joe’s place as beta, which wasn’t exactly my finest moment. The first step was getting here. The next will be harder.

“Hey Dad,” I greet, shuffling uncomfortably in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Theo.” He looks down into a big bowl on the counter, stirring the contents with a wooden spoon. “What are you doing here?”

Not exactly the warm welcome I was hoping for, but it’s the one I expected.

“What, I can’t just come home for a visit?” I ask, my tone laced with sarcasm.

“Sure you can,” Dad mumbles, still stirring. His eyes flicker up to meet mine. “But you don’t.”

He’s got me there. I usually avoid this place like the plague.

“I, uh…” I begin, raking a hand through my hair and stepping into the kitchen. I move closer to him, peer over at what he’s mixing. When I realize it’s a big bowl of his pasta salad, I practically start salivating. Dad has always been really into cooking and his pasta salad is one of his signature dishes. I haven’t had it in years.

I clear my throat, lean back against the counter. I thought about what to say to my father all the way here, but now that I’m standing in front of him, I’m coming up blank.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Dad asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

I eye the pasta salad, then glance back up at him. “Yeah,” I breathe. “I was thinking of staying for the whole weekend, actually.”

Dad looks down at the pasta and continues stirring. “Staying for the run?”

“Yeah.”

He pulls the wooden spoon out of the bowl, tapping it on the side and depositing it in the sink. Only then does he look over at me again, giving me a little nod. “Good.”

He grabs some cling wrap out of a drawer, putting it over the bowl before sticking it in the fridge. Then he brushes his hands together, turning back to face me.

“Look, dad,” I grumble, scratching the back of my head. “I just wanted to say… I’m sorry for being a dick last time I was here, okay? It was… well, it was immature and embarrassing. I’ve thought about it a lot since then, and I know I was in the wrong.”

I swallow hard, wringing my hands in front of me. This is way fucking harder than I thought it’d be. I take a deep breath, continuing. “I want to stand by you at the run, show my support for Cory as beta when you announce it.”

Dad just studies me for a moment, nodding slowly. Then he folds his arm across his chest, heaving a sigh. “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.” He steps toward me, claps me on my shoulder. “It’ll be good to have you here. Good for the pack to see you’re on board.”

I nod, drawing another deep breath. “Yeah, I was thinking I’d start coming around more, start getting more involved with the pack. It’ll help with the transition when I become Alpha someday.”

Dad snorts. “One step at a time, son.”

My temper flares. Here I am, swallowing my pride and apologizing, and my asshole father still won’t entertain the idea of me replacing him as Alpha. What the hell do I have to do to get him to take me seriously?!

I press my lips together in a tight line, holding myself back from making a snide comment in response.

“Yeah,” I grind out. “Gotta start somewhere.”

The corner of my dad’s mouth tips up. “That’s right,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder again. He turns back around, opening up the fridge and peering inside. “Wanna help me get dinner together?”

No. That’s the last fucking thing I want to do right now. I’m a shitty cook- I can barely use a damn microwave.

“Sure.” I shove my hands in my pockets, walking over to meet him at the fridge. He reaches inside, pulling out a package of chicken and handing it to me.

“So how’s it going up at the complex?” Dad asks as he rummages through the refrigerator. He pulls out a few more things, kicking the fridge door closed and striding over to the counter.

“Good,” I breathe as I follow him. “I’ve actually been taking the lead on a new border security system. I’m hoping to get it up and running within a week or two.”

“Yeah?” Dad asks, arching a brow. He reaches out to take the package of chicken from my hands.

I nod, shoving my hands in my pockets again. “I went up to Denver a couple of weeks ago, got some ideas from their security setup. We’re taking it a step further, though, using more advanced equipment so that it’s more than just an early warning system.”

Dad grunts, unwrapping the chicken and separating the pieces. “Interesting. I’ll look forward to hearing how it goes.”

He looks over at me, and to my surprise, he actually fucking smiles. I can’t remember the last time I earned a smile from my dad.

I didn’t earn it on my own- Brooke deserves a lot of the credit. I wouldn’t have even gone to Denver if it wasn’t for her. Wouldn’t have gotten so hyped up about this system if she hadn’t encouraged me.

Fuck, I have to get her back somehow.

“I’ll be right back,” I mutter to my dad, turning and striding out of the kitchen. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open up a message to Brooke.

Theo: can we talk?

I fire it off, then stare at my screen for a solid two minutes. I see the little bubble pop up that indicates she’s typing, but it disappears. And then… nothing. So I send another.

Theo: I’m really sorry about last night.

I hold my breath while I wait for her response, but it doesn’t come. I shove my phone back in my pocket, turning to head back into the kitchen to help my dad with dinner.

“Hey stranger.”

I crane my neck to look over my shoulder, my eyes landing on my sister Quinn striding toward me.

“Hey,” I grumble, swiveling back around to face her.

She stops in front of me, settling her hands on her hips. “What are you doing here?”

I snort. “Wow, you and dad sure know how to make a guy feel welcome.”

Quinn rolls her eyes, reaching out to give me a little shove. “I didn’t mean anything by it, dummy. I’m just surprised to see you. Are you here for the run?”

I nod, shoving my hands in my pockets. I wrap one around my phone, waiting for it to vibrate with a message from Brooke. Praying it will vibrate with a message from Brooke.

My sister arches a brow. “How come?”

I shrug. “Figured it was time to start coming back around, try to bond with the pack again.”

Quinn narrows her eyes suspiciously, tilting her head. “Does this have something to do with that girl you’re seeing?”

“What?” I laugh wryly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Q.”

She folds her arms across her chest, a knowing smirk on her lips. “Oh please. You don’t go to the trouble of calling your sister for a favor and getting the ski-lift running for a night with the boys.”

I grunt, rolling my eyes.

Quinn pauses, studying me. “So who is she? Are you still seeing her?”

I swallow hard, give a little shake of my head. “Nah. I fucked it all up.”

My sister heaves a sigh, stepping closer and reaching out to touch my arm. “Sorry to hear that. I’m glad you’re home, though. It’ll be nice to run with you.”

I offer her a small smile. “Yeah.”

Sometimes it fucking hurts to look at my sister. The older she gets, the more she looks like Mom.

“Quinn, is that you?” Dad calls from the kitchen.

“Yeah!” she chirps as he appears in the doorway.

Dad looks from Quinn to me, gesturing. “C’mon, both of you can help me with dinner.”

I blow out a breath. I don’t know what kind of fucked up ‘family bonding’ Dad’s trying to force here, but it makes me anxious. When things are calm at home, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I follow Quinn into the kitchen and resume holding things for Dad while he preps the meal.

I can only think about one thing, though. The only girl I’ve ever really cared about, the one I lost before I ever had.