Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 23
Jasper was at a loss. His symptoms were stronger than he cared to admit, and that was why he fled Catherine’s exquisite company. What he needed to do was rest, just as he had expressed. He entered his manor, feeling sad that he had expressed so much and had not received a clear response. But at the same time, he could tell that Catherine was amendable to his desires, and that she desired the same.
His intention was to go straight to his room, but before doing so, he discovered his mother and Felton in the parlour. This was rather peculiar, for he did not know his mother and best friend to spend much time with one another. It did not take long before he realized that this was an intervention of sorts.
“What is the meaning of this?” he asked, looking from one to the other.
Felton was downcast. “We need to speak with you, old chap.”
“Regarding what?”
His mother was the next to speak. “Regarding the blood that was discovered on your linens.”
The realization took hold, and Jasper became angry, feeling as though he was a scolded child in that moment. Still, he seated himself, willing to have the conversation at hand. “Last night, there was coughing at a late hour. I was fatigued and did not notice the blood,” he admitted.
His mother’s eyebrows shot up. “And you did not notice it this morning when you awoke? The housemaid was petrified and came to me at once. Jasper, are your symptoms progressing and you are not speaking of it?”
He fell silent, unsure of how to respond. When the tension became too great, he continued, “I did notice the blood but did not care to deal with it. My health has been improving, but I suffered from wretched dreams last night, and when I woke up this morning, the blood was the last thing that I cared about. There was… somewhere I needed to be.”
Felton shook his head in dismay. “This is not right, my friend. You have revealed the truth to me, but now we must speak frankly. This matter is serious, and I fear that you are not doing everything in your power to amend it.”
This was incredibly frustrating. Jasper was doing everything in his power. He was doing all that he could think of! Why did they not understand how terrifying it was to have his ailment whilst also not knowing what to do about it.
Jasper chose to express optimism. “Catherine is helping. Perhaps the strange incident last night, and this morning, were merely signs that the body is purging itself.”
“Purging itself?” his mother asked. “I think that you have lost your mind. A few herbs and some sentiment for a girl might make you feel temporarily better, but you are not resting enough! You are sending yourself to your grave.”
“I am living my life. That sends everyone to their graves,” he imparted.
“Jasper, you are headstrong. That much I have already shared,” Felton went on. “And I understand that Catherine is…healing you in many ways. But know that I am now deeply concerned. Your mother sent me word at once.”
“Needing to consult with someone!” she exclaimed.
Felton continued, “And she assumed that I did not know the whole truth. But I informed her that I was told and that now I take the matter more seriously.”
“Over some simple blood?” Jasper asked. “Expelling blood is natural and normal.”
Oh, he was trying to rationalize it all, but it was not working. From the scowls upon both of their faces, he sensed that he was not getting out of this one easily.
Felton crossed his hands in front of his chest. “Dear friend, try to rest some more. Your mother would be most pleased, and I would, as well.”
Jasper turned his head to the side and fell into silence. Yes, not only was he being scolded by his mother, but also by his best friend. But did they have a point? Should he be resting more so that the symptoms would not return with the same strength?
He shook his head. It was all nonsense. This had been one occurrence where his symptoms returned, and Jasper would not be thwarted in his intentions. He would find a way to make Catherine his wife, and she would heal him. He was sure of it.
With this new resolve, he stood to his full height. “I am grateful for the concern but know that all shall be well. I do not intend to slow down, as there is much that I wish to accomplish in the time that I have remaining. I hope that that is accepted, but of course, there is no reason for me to convince you of it. With that, I should like to retire to my room.”
His mother was the next to stand. “And I as well, for I have been a mess of nerves all morning.” She initiated her exit but stopped abruptly. “Still…I must admit that Catherine’s remedies have been helping my fatigue. I feel…rather buoyant most days. But today, my mind is getting the best of me. Adieu.”
She departed the room, leaving Jasper and Felton in a wave of silence. Felton was the first to break it. “I had to come. She was troubled.”
“I am glad that you came, but I did not need the scolding.”
Felton smiled broadly. “I admit that part of that was for show. I promised her that I would be harsh with you, and so I was.”
Jasper rolled his eyes. “And here this whole time I thought that you were concerned for me. Aren’t I foolish?”
“I am mildly concerned for you,” Felton quipped. “But I do not think that your mother has it all figured out. I do think that…you are improving.”
Finally, a wave of relief.
“And I am. There was no sense in making a fuss over the blood. And more importantly, I wish to know how you got on with Abigail.”
Felton gazed up at the ceiling. “More of the same.” He returned his gaze to Jasper. “Sometimes, I fear that I am wasting my time and my heart. Why pick a difficult woman? Why not pick a simple woman? I require an answer to these questions and so many more.”
“I do not think that we choose who we love,” Jasper surmised. “You have fallen for Abigail, and that is the reality of your situation. Me? I have fallen for Catherine, and I made my intentions clear this morning.”
There was shock written on Felton’s face. “Do you speak the truth?”
He nodded. “Indeed. I told her the truth of my diagnosis, as well as the truth of my intentions.”
“And how did she respond?”
“In a dismal way.”
Both men leaned back in their chairs as though sensing that they were going through similar experiences, though Jasper knew his to be different. “She turned you down?” Felton asked.
“Not in so many words. She was thoughtful, and everything that she said was of importance. But like you, I want the simple solution. I want her to merely say yes.”
“And alas, that is the only response that I care for, as well. What are we to do? Drink our lives away? The morning is young, and I have a mind to pour brandy.”
Jasper shook his head. “None of that nonsense. We shall endure, all the same. In truth…I was encouraged by her response.”
“Because she refused you!” Felton exclaimed.
“Nay, nay. Because she has a head on her shoulders and a true heart. She expressed that this is done with haste. That perhaps, I might have feelings for her simply due to the fact that she is helping me. This, I assured her, was not true, but she is being cautious. And because she is being cautious…I love her all the more.”
Felton turned pensive. Yes, they were on the same page in many regards. They were both men in love who could not figure out for the life of them how to make their situations work. Jasper surmised that Felton’s predicament was much more confusing, but for Jasper, the situation was much more dire.
He stood, asking his best friend, “Have you broken your fast?”
Felton shook his head. “Have not had a lick of appetite.”
“Then let us feast. I need the strength, and we both need the distraction.”
The cook was informed of their desire to dine, and when they reached the breakfast room—although it was far too late for breakfast—the table was set for two, and hot food permeated the room with its aroma. Jasper seated himself, excited to be nourished.
It pained him to think that the little picnic basket that he had brought to the forest had never been consumed. But Jasper had truly left in fear, thinking that his symptoms might alarm Catherine. Why was it, that upon having that frank conversation with Felton in the parlour, his symptoms had lifted? Was it true that all of it had been caused by emotions?
Surely, it must have been a fit of something rather deep, for once the eggs, ham, and toast were served, accompanied with roasted tomatoes, Jasper felt his strength returning. This was accompanied by strong coffee, which both men relished.
“Maybe love is not for us,” Felton said, gazing out the window.
“What the devil do you mean?”
“Maybe it is all too much work.”
Jasper put down his cutlery. “Life is work, my friend. All of it. This current work is worth the effort.” He dabbed the sides of his mouth with a napkin.
Felton huffed. “But perhaps there is a reason why Abigail does not give in to my advances. Maybe she is not the right lady for me.”
This was a good thing to ask himself, but Jasper had differing thoughts about it. Considering what Catherine had told him, the way that Felton looked at Abigail, and yes, the way that she returned his glances, it seemed to Jasper that there was something there worth holding onto. And despite the fact that Abigail resisted, Jasper was still under the impression that the situation needed some patience.
“Keep going,” he instructed his friend. “There is no sense in giving up now. To show the lady that your devotion is true, this will take time. I am learning this for myself.”
“Sod it,” Felton replied. “First, I am the intelligent one, and now you. I suppose that we need one another in order to embrace these realizations.”
“Indeed.”
The rest of the breakfast was a success. Jasper felt strengthened but was indeed pleased to go up to his room and enjoy some privacy. Here, he composed a note to Catherine, already missing her presence.
Sweet Catherine,
It has been a trying morning, has it now? I know that I revealed much to you, but please understand, these things I have wanted to express for some time. You have bewitched me, and for this reason, I have revealed more to you than I have to any other. Know that I love you, and I wish to give you the time and space that you require in order to come to a decision.
My health is uncertain, and although I feel remarkable lapses in my plight, I still trust that you are not only accepting me as a suitor, but you are also accepting the ill man that is my shadow-half. Even if you cannot love him, know that he loves you till the end of time. If my words frighten you, I might feel a tinge of regret, but mostly, I feel none at all. Never have I been so honest with another soul.
Till we meet again,
Jasper