Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 21
“Not another ball,” Jasper complained as his valet straightened his cravat.
“Abigail shall be there,” Felton informed him.
“Here is what I do not understand,” Jasper went on, banishing his valet. He turned to Felton and continued. “If you are intent upon being with Abigail, then why should you have to attend a ball to do so? Why can you not merely ask her to supper, or go for a stroll in the woods,” he added, recalling his own stroll with Catherine in the woods…and the kiss.
“Because this is how society works. I do not know why you cannot understand that. Balls are a prerequisite because they are where it is acceptable to encounter a lady. If I were to stroll in the woods with Abigail it would be a complete scandal.”
Jasper raised his brow. Yes, it would be a scandal indeed, just as his stroll with Catherine had been a scandal, but no one would ever know of it. Jasper intended to keep that secret to himself, so that he could delight in the memory and not be weighed down with others’ opinions. He found it so amusing that it would be a scandal to do something so natural. For truly, walking with Catherine by his side while they were entirely alone did feel as though it was the most natural prospect in the world. How is it that all of society did not understand that?
“I think that tonight shall be good fun,” Felton went on, coming to the mirror and inspecting himself. “In fact, I am sure of it. Tonight is the night when Abigail will give herself over to me.”
A devilish grin came to Jasper’s lips. “In what way shall she give herself over to you?”
Now, Felton shared in this grin. “I will win over her heart, you wicked man. Sometimes, I have to wonder if the rumours about you are true, except that I know everything there is to know about you so that could not be so.”
Jasper stopped to consider Felton’s words. What on earth was he referring to. “What everyone says about me?”
“Since you live under a rock, you are not familiar with your ill reputation, I take it.”
Time stood still as Jasper truly did not know what Felton was referring to. He had never heard of his ill reputation, and he most certainly hoped that Catherine had never heard of it. “You are going to need to explain further.”
Felton seemed annoyed by this, for he rolled his eyes and went on, “It is all lies, of course. But sometimes there is talk that you have taken liberty with the women that throw themselves before your feet.”
“What the devil? Never have I done such a thing. Who is making these remarks?”
“Only the most notorious gossips in town.” Felton placed a hand upon his shoulder. “Do not let it trouble you, my friend. There is nothing to fear. It is jealousy, and nothing more.”
“Jealousy for what? I am a sick, dying earl who keeps to himself most of the time. What is there to be jealous about?”
Felton paused. It seemed as though Jasper had been too pointed in his rebuttal, for his friend was stricken by it. No, it was not easy for anyone to hear him say that he was to die. And he hated to remind his friend of it, but there was no sense in lying any longer and he had the mind to write Catherine that very moment to tell her of the truth.
Felton put up a hand to pause him. “Jasper, sometimes I do not think that you see yourself clearly at all. You do not understand how others perceive you, and this is understandable, for most of us do not understand or see. But you are a very striking fellow, and this is noticed. What’s more, you do not care one jot for what others think of you and this means that they are prone to not like you because of it. What you do not comprehend about society is that everyone wants to feel important. You make no one around you feel important, and this makes them upset.”
“I never make you feel important?” Jasper asked, offended.
He smiled faintly. “You silly dunce, I am not referring to those close to you, of which there are only a few. I refer to those that are of high standing in society that you ignore. For instance, I have spoken with the Duke of Brighton, who seems to like you immensely, but he is upset that you have not sent correspondence.”
Jasper could not believe what he was hearing. “Correspondence? I went to the man’s bloody ball. What else am I supposed to do? Send flowers?”
“Ha! This is what I love about you, my dear friend. You do not play the game. There are certain unspoken rituals that you ignore completely, and that is why I want no other friend but you.”
Now, Jasper was the one to laugh, for he had to admit that it was humorous, how he truly did not understand anything about society and what he was supposed to do within it. Well, that was not entirely true. He did know some things but chose to ignore these, for there was no sense in trying. He was a dying man.”
The mood instantly lightened, and Felton walked over to pour two glasses of brandy. “Now, let us leave soon for this ball, so that I might encounter my lady and you might encounter yours.”
Hope coursed through him. Yes, there was a very good chance that Catherine would be there since Abigail was attending. There was no one in the world that he wished to see aside from Catherine…and Felton. She had bewitched him; that much was clear, for he thought of her constantly. All the energy that he conserved in ignoring society would be given to Catherine. There was no need in wasting oneself on those that did not matter one jot.
“I fear that I am a fallen man,” Jasper said, accepting the glass of brandy from Felton and running his hand through his hair.
“In what way?” He took a sip.
“I was determined from the start to keep a safe distance from Catherine, although I was instantly taken by her. This was due to my sickness. But now that I am feeling stronger and more like myself, I want nothing more than to have her, if she will have me.”
Felton’s eyebrows raised. He took his brandy over to a seat and plopped himself in it. “My friend, are you truly considering such a thing? I have never heard you speak so boldly about love.”
“She is everything that I have ever wanted,” Jasper went on. “When I am in her presence, it is as though there is some kind of magic. Does this feeling go on and on? For surely, it feels as though it will.”
Felton nodded and smiled. “The feeling can go on and on, but it must be nurtured to do so.”
Jasper instantly gleaned what his friend was saying but he had to ask, “What makes you so knowledgeable about love?”
“You might not believe this about me, but I have a keen understanding of it. Love must be nurtured within one’s heart and with one’s actions. You cannot rely upon love alone to sustain itself. Love is like a garden, and when it is consistently watered, there are flowering results.”
“So, what you are saying is, because I am a dying man, my love will die, as well.”
“Jasper, we are all dying men. That is what you do not understand. You think of your diagnosis as a death sentence, but it is a premature death sentence.”
Even though this concept was simple, it gave Jasper pause. Yes, sometimes he felt rather bad for himself and forgot that he was still alive, and that every man had a death sentence hanging above his head. So, did this mean that he should not use it as an excuse to never love? To never make himself vulnerable to another? All at once, Jasper was emboldened and proclaimed, “Then I shall make her my wife.”
This sent Felton into peals of laughter. “Headstrong fool, you have to make sure that Catherine wants this, as well.”
“Right.” Jasper scratched his chin. “Yes, she needs to be informed of this, as well.”
“Then inform her tonight!” Felton raised his glass. “Why tarry? I have already exposed my soul to Abigail, and although she not accepted, I will continue to do so until I wear her down.”
The two men broke into laughter once more, and Jasper was convinced that the medicine was working, for never had he been in such high spirits. Yes, he would reveal the truth to Catherine and share with her his intentions.
That is why, once they reached the ball and he beheld Catherine, Jasper was quite frustrated considering that there were so many people, and he would much rather be alone with her to share such sentiments. Still, he was overjoyed when he first viewed her in that stunning white gown with gold embroidery. She was a vision, as ever, but it was a very different vision than the wood nymph that he cherished.
They approached immediately, and Jasper was pleased to see the little crowd that had surrounded them disperse.
“Ladies,” Felton said with a bow of the head. “It is an honour, as ever.”
The ladies curtsied, and Jasper found that he could not take his eyes off of Catherine. He looked at Abigail but briefly.
“My lord, I am surprised that you came,” Catherine said, her eyes sparkling.
“I was not going to come, but my bothersome friend convinced me.”
“As did mine. I hope that you…received my letter.”
A wave of heat flooded his body as he thought of the letter. Yes, he had read it countless times, and the only thing that kept him from responding was that Jasper feared that letter would ask for her hand in marriage.
“I have it in my pocket,” Jasper smiled warmly.
Catherine flushed. “I must admit that I carry yours in my reticule. It is so silly, but I do it nonetheless.”
Yes, it was evident that perhaps her feelings for him were as strong as his were for her. But surely, she was not tortured in the same way that he was. For truly, he felt like the most tortured man in Christendom, whilst also being as light as air.
“I am pleased to hear that.” Jasper stepped in more closely so that his voice could be hushed. “There are words that I wish to share with you, but I fear that it is rather crowded in here, and it is not the right time.”
Catherine’s eyes opened wide. “Is something amiss? Has your health backtracked?”
He shook his head. “Nothing of the sort.”
“We could step out onto the veranda,” Catherine suggested, “as it is now a ritual of ours.”
Jasper was tempted, but even that felt futile. He wished to be entirely alone with her. After their strolls in the woods, he could accept no less. “Would you do me the great honour of walking with me again tomorrow?”
“Seeing as you show up unannounced, you need not ask.”
He delighted in her wit. Yes, even if he did not ask, Jasper always knew where to find her. “Then it is settled. Tomorrow, we can share another picnic. This time, I would like to bring the repast.”
“If you insist. We can look for more herbs for you. I feel so encouraged by the positive results you are having, and that leads me to believe that we are close to healing you entirely.”
This was the moment when he could have shared the whole truth about his health. But for Jasper, it was still impossible.