Alpha Gray by C.J. Primer

CHAPTER FIFTY

Gray

“Will you shut the fuck up and focus?” Brock snaps, pounding his fist on the table.

We’ve been shut in this stuffy conference room for the better part of an hour, combing through the details of every recruit’s last trial, agonizing over our final selections for the squad. The conversation about Bex started to go off the rails when Jax commented on her massive rack, then took a nosedive when Theo started in on what he’d do if he had the opportunity to take her home for a night.

Brock, Reid and I are all used to their antics by now, but we’re stressed, we’re exhausted, and more than anything, we’re ready to get the hell out of this room. Now isn’t the time for the Jax and Theo roadshow.

“Jeez, man, lighten up,” Theo grumbles, shooting Brock a sideways glance.

Brock lets out an exasperated sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I just want to get this over with.”

“Me too,” Reid agrees. “Let’s get back to her qualities as a fighter, eh?”

I clear my throat, leaning back in my chair. “She’s good. I’d vote to keep her on.”

“Over Shay, though?” Jax arches a brow.

I blow out a breath. “It’s a toss-up. Can we take em’ both?”

“Do we need both?” Theo leans his bulky forearms onto the table, back in the conversation.

“That’d only leave two more spots, if we’re doing thirteen,” Reid murmurs, glancing up from the notes he has scribbled in front of him. “And we haven’t even discussed Connor, Abe, or Fallon yet.”

The others turn to look at me at the mention of Fallon’s name. I straighten in my chair, resting my elbows on the table and weaving my fingers together.

“About Fallon…” I start, swallowing hard.

I know if I asked them to, the guys would put her on the squad, no question. Despite everything, they have my back… I could make it easy and just tell them to.

It’s not about what I want, though. Fallon wants this decision to be based on her own merit, and knowing her, she wouldn’t want to be on the squad if she knew she didn’t earn it herself. I can’t lie to her, give her a hollow victory, even though it would fucking kill me if they passed her over and sent her home.

“I told you guys I’d stay out of this one, and I’m going to,” I say. “I’m gonna leave this room so you four can make the decision… and know that I’ll respect whatever you decide.” I push my chair out from the table, rising to my feet. “Before I go though, I just wanna remind you guys to leave me out of it, too. Don’t discount how good she is just because I got involved with her. She’s…”

Brock’s lips draw up into a smirk as he cuts me off. “We know, bro. She’s one of a kind.”

He took the words right from my mouth. One of a kind doesn’t even begin to cover it, though- she’s formidable, incredible. They’d be fools not to take her on the squad, to let her get away, just as I would’ve been if I’d actually stuck to my guns and steered clear. There’s no one like Fallon.

I press my lips together, nodding to Brock. I’m placing all my trust in them to do the right thing as I head to the door, step into the hallway, and wait.

When Theo ducks out to call me back in ten minutes later, I don’t even ask how it went- I just take my seat again, moving on to address the next recruit. The anticipation is killing me, but I don’t even want to know before we go out there to announce the list- good or bad, I’ll receive the news when Fallon does.

Fifteen minutes later, the five of us are back on the practice field, ready to deliver the verdict to the anxious recruits. It’s still packed with people- most of the squad stuck around to hear who’s been selected to join the ranks and the energy among everyone gathered is palpable.

Reid does the honors, stepping up and clearing his throat to speak as the dull roar of the crowd dies down. “Alright, recruits,” he barks, grinning. “If I call your name, you’re in. In no particular order…” He glances down, reading from a piece of paper. “Davis.”

I hear a squeal, turning in the direction of the sound to see Casey flinging her arms around her mate. I can’t help but smile at her reaction and at the big, goofy grin spread across Davis’ face. Cutting kids from training camp every week sucks- but getting to announce the new squad members at the end of camp and see their reactions makes it all worthwhile.

Reid continues down the list. “Carter. Dane. Shay.”

One by one, the recruits celebrate and congratulate one another, oozing with excitement as their names are announced.

“Diego. Maxwell.”

I bring my hands together in front of me, wringing them until my knuckles are white.

“Judd. Boyd. Tyler. Bex.”

Reid continues rattling off names, and I’m not hearing the one name on repeat in my brain, the only one I care to hear.

“Drew. Harper. Connor.”

Shit. Was that thirteen? We agreed to take thirteen.

Reid lowers the piece of paper and I feel like my eyes are going to bug out of my head, like my heart’s going to pound out of my chest. That can’t be all of them, can it?

I’m fucking panicking when Reid swivels his head to shoot me a little side-eyed glance. “Fallon.”

Fallon

When Reid’s halfway through announcing the names, I start to get a sinking feeling. I’m elated as each of my friends’ names are called, but after I hear ten, eleven, twelve names, I hold my breath.

What about me?

Then I hear him call it- and I don’t think my own name has ever sounded sweeter.

“Fallon.”

I’m so overcome with emotion that I feel like I’m going to burst at the seams- relief and delight and happiness wash over me in waves, nearly taking me to my knees.

I fucking made it.

Arms close around me, pulling me into a hug- my sister’s arms. Tears of joy sting the back of my eyes as I throw my arms around her, squeezing tight.

“You did it!” Brooke squeals into my hair. “I’m so proud of you.”

I pull back, grinning from ear to ear. “Thanks, Brookie!”

I scream as my feet leave the ground- Boyd’s come up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up. I laugh and flail until he sets me down, then spin around to give him a big hug. He holds on for a little longer than is comfortable, but I’m feeling so euphoric that his flirtations don’t even annoy me, not today.

I spot Davis and Casey threading their way through the crowd toward us and I launch myself at Davis to embrace him next. Shay and Connor make their way over, too, and for several minutes we’re all just hugging and laughing and congratulating one another, overwhelmed with both excitement and relief.

There’s one more person I want to celebrate with right now, but even though our little agreement to keep things quiet is technically over, Gray’s keeping his distance. I’m actually glad for it- I just want to enjoy this moment, not have to suddenly explain to my friends that I’ve been fucking an alpha on the down-low for weeks.

After a while, the crowd starts to die down and my eyes wander back to Gray. Our gazes meet and he gives a little flick of his head, indicating to the indoor arena. I pick up on his signal, watching him head that way and waiting until he’s slipped inside to break away from my friends.

“I’ll be back, guys,” I say, turning to jog away before anyone can ask where I’m going.

“My dad’ll be here at five!” Boyd calls after me, and I throw up a hand in acknowledgement.

I pick up my pace as I cross the field, eager to get to Gray. Fuck, I’m still on cloud nine, and the only thing that could make me feel even better than I do right now is his hands all over me.

Upon entering the building, I immediately see Gray waiting for me a few yards away and I tear toward him in a dead sprint. I scream in glee as I launch myself onto him, my body colliding with his as I wrap my arms and legs around him and my momentum takes us both to the ground. Gray lets out an ‘umph’ as his body takes the impact, but then his hands are all over me, one around my waist, one in my hair as he pulls my lips down onto his.

Gray nips and sucks on my bottom lip roughly, then his tongue finds mine, tangling with it as I grab his jaw with one hand and bury the other in his hair. I can feel the hardness of his cock pressing against my core as I straddle him, a deep thrum starting between my legs in anticipation as he continues his assault on my mouth.

I pull back from the kiss, grinning down at him devilishly as I slide my palms to his chest to prop myself up.

“Guess you’re stuck with me now,” I breathe, and Gray rocks his torso up, his lips crashing into mine again. I throw my arms around his neck as he sits up completely, wrapping my legs around his waist and losing myself in his kiss again.

“Let’s go back to the packhouse,” he murmurs against my lips, dragging one of his hands up my chest to grope my left breast as he starts trailing kisses down my jaw.

“Mmm…” I moan, wriggling my hips to grind myself down over the bulge in his shorts. “Wish I could…”

“Why can’t you?” he growls, nipping the tender flesh of my neck, then pressing his lips to the same spot.

“I… ohhhh” I can’t form words to respond- my eyes roll back in my head as Gray sucks the sensitive spot on my neck just under my left ear.

“Going back… home…” I pant.

Gray suddenly stops, pulling back to stare at me. “What?”

“I’m going home to see my parents,” I say, stroking his sharp jawline with my fingertips. “To deliver the good news to them in person. Boyd offered Brooke and I a ride back with him.”

Gray’s eyes darken, his mood immediately shifting. He moves to rise to his feet, his arm still around my waist, pulling me up with him. “But you’re coming back, right?” he asks as he plants my feet on the ground across from him.

I steady myself, biting my lip as I peer up into his eyes. Crap. This isn’t a conversation I’m ready to have, not now.

An uncomfortable silence stretches between us, my face getting hot as I can feel the frantic beating of my heart in my ears.

“I don’t know,” I finally say, my voice small.

I can see Gray’s wolf in his eyes, swirling golden in his irises. “Why?” he demands, and his aggressive tone makes me shrink back from him instinctively.

I don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words. Gray’s finally all in on this, and now I’m the one with fears; I’m the one with doubts. I’m scared to death of what the full moon could mean for us, that it’ll change his feelings. I’m afraid to face our inevitable ending.

I suck in a breath, reaching out to touch his face again, the stubble of his jaw rough against my palm. “You know why. The moon. I don’t want it to change… this.”

Gray furrows his brow, sighing as he pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me and resting his cheek against the top of my head. His embrace feels so warm, so safe.

“I just don’t want this to end,” I whisper. The prickle of tears stings the back of my eyes as I draw ragged breaths, forcing them back.

“It’s not going to end, baby,” Gray murmurs against my hair. He pulls away again, planting his hands on my shoulders and staring down into my eyes with that wicked intensity that slices straight through me. “Listen, I don’t give a damn what happens when the moon’s full. If we aren’t mates, then fate’s got it wrong. I’m crazy about you, I don’t want anyone else.”

His tone is so earnest, the weight of his words heavy. I swallow hard, my throat raw, my chest feeling hollow. To say I’m confused would be a colossal understatement. Here’s this guy I fucking adore, saying all the right things, laying everything on the line for me again, and part of me wants to run in the other direction. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I gnaw on my bottom lip, diverting my gaze to the ground. My common sense is crippled by fear. Fear that things will change, fear of the unknown.

Gray sighs again, moving one of his hands to my face and tipping up my chin so my eyes meet his again. “I choose you, Fallon. You’re my mate, whether fate confirms that or not.”

Warmth spreads in my chest at his words, but it’s quickly chased away by the chill of apprehension.

It’s like Gray can sense it, because his lips part to speak again, his gaze still as intense as ever. “What do you want?”

There it is, that same question he asked me back when this whole thing started, only now it’s a loaded one. He wants an answer, one that I’m not ready to give. I suddenly realize that whether I return for the full moon or not, things are going to change between us. They already have. And try as I might, I can’t stop the moon.

“I… need some time to think.”

I drop my hands from Gray’s body, taking a step back. The raw vulnerability in his eyes dissolves to something else- regret? Anger? I’m not sure, because he darts them away, scrubbing a hand over his face and breathing a heavy sigh.

“Fine.”

When he returns his gaze to mine, I can finally discern the look in his eyes. It’s pain.

Gray grabs for me, pulling my body to crash into his, stamping his lips down onto mine. There’s a zing of electricity as our mouths connect again, shooting straight down to my core as heat pools between my legs. His velvety tongue twines with mine, devouring me, taking everything I have. I whine into his mouth, dizzy with the intensity of his kiss.

Fuck. I hope this isn’t goodbye.

Slowly, he pulls back, my eyes fluttering open to see those gorgeous eyes staring down at me, cutting through me again.

“Go on,” Gray murmurs.

My knees are wobbly as I take a shaky step back, steadying myself. I start to turn away, but his lips part to speak again.

“I hope you’ll come back to me, baby.”