Where You Can Find Me by Fiona Cole
19
Jack came home justin time for New Years, and we welcomed midnight while making love. It was cliched in the most perfect way. Usually, I spent the night with Evie, but she stayed in California with her family after being given a guilt trip about never coming home. And Jameson worked the bar like he did every year. As sad as I felt about not sticking to tradition, nothing could beat the euphoric excitement of starting a new year with someone that you knew would be the change in your life that you had been waiting for.
He made my heart race and my mind wander to a whole new set of hopes and dreams I never let myself have. It wasn’t that I hadn’t opened myself up to relationships in the past, but I had never really invested anything into them. I never cared if they kept going or ended. They were just there to help me pass the time and ease the loneliness. But with Jack, every second away from him felt lonely. Every second with him made me feel something, and I liked that. I liked not skating through life just feeling bland. I felt alive. Everything in my life became richer with him in it, and I cherished every moment, which we didn’t get much of since he had returned home.
We tried to get together when we could, but the case took up most of his time. I think Shane began leaning on Jack more and more after the incident at the bar. I think even he became a little cautious and questioned the young cop’s enthusiasm for the murders. When Jack came home, my hands got clammy just thinking about how I would tell him about my interaction with Aimes, but it turned out I never had to because Shane told him first. He got mad that I didn’t tell him before he got home, but I assured him there was nothing he could have done from Texas.
Eventually, he calmed down, but throughout the previous three weeks, he had been overprotective of me. He always got on me about being careful and aware of my surroundings, but lately, he had been pushing me to leave work before dark and to carry mace with me. He even tried to get me to sign up for self-defense classes. I told him to calm down and that I had already taken self-defense classes because Jameson had signed Evie and me up to go. I knew he didn’t like that Aimes knew who I was, but his tension started transferring to me, and I could feel the panic begin to rise up and choke me at the thought that Jack was constantly around him. A few nights were spent with Evie while she fed me wine and told me to stop being such a pussy and remember that I was dating a man. A man who survived a war and could take on some pansy-ass rookie cop. She went a little overboard with her description of him, but she made me laugh and calm the fuck down.
One morning, Jack asked if I could meet him for lunch at Nada, an upscale Mexican restaurant. Work had been slow lately, so I jumped at the chance to spend a rare moment with him. When I got there, the hostess led me up the curved staircase to the second floor of the restaurant. I saw Jack immediately seated further in the back and smiled. I always smiled when I saw him. He made my heart feel light. But my smile faltered slightly when I saw he wasn’t alone. I saw the back of another man’s head, and I tried to rack my brain to place it.
I slowed my pace as names raced through my head before finally settling on one person who I hadn’t met yet, but who might be with Jack. The elusive Grayson. I took a deep breath, picking up speed to a normal walking pace again, and made my way to the table. Excitement coursed through me, sending tingles down my arms and through my fingers at the fact that I would finally meet Jack’s person. I tried to remind myself not to blurt out anything stupid. Jack looked up and saw me heading his way, and a tight smile stretched his cheeks. His eyes flicked to his companion and then returned to me before taking a deep breath.
My steps faltered again as self-consciousness settled around me. I knew Jack was nervous for when I finally met Grayson, but his tension put me on edge, and my confidence began to deflate. Why did he look like this was the last place he wanted to be, and I was the last person he wanted to introduce to his friend? By the time I reached the table, my eyebrows lowered, and a forced smile settled on my lips. Jack held his hand out to me, and I walked into his arms, receiving his hug and a lingering kiss on my cheek. He brought his hand up to my neck, and his resigned eyes rose to mine.
“Hey, how are you? How is your day going?” He leaned in for another kiss before I could answer as though he wanted to squeeze as much in before I turned to meet Grayson.
“It’s good. I’m good. I’m glad we could meet for lunch.”
“Yeah. So, I hope you don’t mind. I brought Grayson along for lunch since we were driving around together, and I didn’t have time to go back and get my car to meet you.”
I tried to give him a reassuring smile and hoped that settled both of our nerves. “No. Not at all.” I did a quick half-turn with a small smile at the person behind me without really seeing him. I started feeling awkward that we hadn’t really acknowledged his presence. “You know I’ve been dying to meet the elusive Mr. Grayson anyways.” I slipped in a joke we created about him being Christian Grayson from Fifty Shades of Grayson. It was dumb, but I couldn’t be bright and witty with the amount of panic settling in my chest.
With a quick nod, Jack began the introductions. “Luella, this is Grayson, my partner. Grayson, this is my girlfriend, Luella.”
In my eagerness to meet him, a genuine smile tilted my lips as I turned to greet the man behind me. He stood to shake my hand. His tall body towered over me, and my eyes had no choice but to stare at his hand and look up his wide chest before settling on his unique gray-blue eyes. I felt a familiar tug at the back of my mind as I placed my hand in his. Something about him made me feel like I had met him before. My curiosity spilled into my greeting as my voice came out quieter than I intended. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners in humor as his full lips tipped up in a flirtatious smile. His eyes dropped to my chest before rising back up to my face and lingering on my mouth. Jack had warned me he would be flirtatious, but I never expected him to be so forward. My skin tightened uncomfortably as I tried to process all the feelings bombarding me. I couldn’t let go of this nagging voice in the back of my head that made me feel like I had met him before. And through it all, I couldn’t deny that the way he looked at me in front of Jack made my breathing increase and my cheeks flush.
Fuck! What was wrong with me? Was I really getting turned on by my boyfriend’s best friend? Where did I know him from?
“It’s nice to officially meet you too, Luella,” he responded in a deep voice I knew I had heard before.
And there it was. That voice made it all click into place. My stomach bottomed out as my smile vanished and my jaw dropped open. I could feel my eyes open wide as shock settled deep in the pit of my stomach. Adrenaline rushed through me, numbing my feet, and I felt a desperate need for air.
“C’mon, man. Don’t you want any help? Look at those thighs wrapped tight around you. And look at those tits bounce with every thrust. I could let her lay against me and play with those sweet pink nipples.”
“Oh, fuck me,” I whispered on the rush of breath leaving my body. The night Jack fucked me in the bathroom at the bar came rushing back full force with the sound of his voice.
“Oh, fuck me.” It needed to be said again.
Grayson, the stranger who walked in on Jack and me having sex—Jack’s best friend—chuckled while a full smile lifted his lips, and he rubbed his thumb across my mostly numb hand. “I guess she does remember me, Jack. I told you. Girls can’t forget my handsome face.”
Frozen. I stood there like a block of ice as my body automatically pushed air in and out of my slacked jaw. Honest to God, I couldn’t move. There were no words rushing to the surface to help me process this horrifying situation. The only sound bombarding my brain was a loud white noise and a panicked whisper of Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
A hand rested on my shoulder and soothed down my arm, bringing me back to the present. The noises from the restaurant returned along with my bodily movements. I took a deep breath and finally pulled my hand away from Grayson’s.
“Lu, we can leave if you want. We don’t have to do this.” I could hear the tension in Jack’s voice as he reached down to squeeze my hand. Finally, I understood his hesitation about me meeting Grayson. He knew I would remember him walking in on us. Maybe he was embarrassed by his friend’s actions. Or maybe he wasn’t, and he didn’t want to admit it to me. Either way, I stood there with two choices: either freak-out and walk away—which a large part of me wanted to do—or to act casual and just move on because this was his friend. I wanted a future with Jack, and I didn’t want him to have to split that time between Grayson and me. I knew how much of a struggle it would be if he didn’t like Evie.
I decided to be the bigger person and move on. With a deep breath, I turned just enough to give Jack a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand before giving my full attention to Grayson. I let out a short laugh and a self-deprecating eye roll. “Yeah. I guess you were lucky enough to see that. Well, sorry about that. Either way, it’s good to meet you finally. Officially.” I even managed to add a wink at the end.
“I’m not sure lucky is a strong enough word to describe how I felt after that.” He returned my wink much more successfully than I had given mine as we all finally sat at our table.
“Grayson,” Jack said in a warning tone. “Please don’t push or embarrass her.”
“Embarrassed? Who’s embarrassed?” I patted Jack’s knee and leaned in close. “Don’t worry, baby. I don’t get embarrassed.” Jack knew I was overcompensating for how uncomfortable I felt. But he cared for me enough not to mention it. He just shook his head and tried to redirect the conversation. The waiter saved him from the task by coming to bring chips and salsa and a water for me.
“Hi, I’m Whitney. I’ll be your server today. Are you guys ready to order, or do you need a few minutes?” Her eyes lingered on Grayson for a moment longer before checking everyone else’s answer. She shamelessly returned her eyes back to Grayson while we all ordered. He boldly let his gaze wander down to the colorful flower tattoo on her firm thigh and back up before giving her a wink as she walked away. I couldn’t blame him; the tattoo drew my attention with how the colors bled together like a watercolor painting covering from her knee to disappear under her black skirt.
I turned my attention back to the table as an awkward silence settled around us.
“So…” A giggle escaped my mouth. A fucking giggle. I laughed when I felt uncomfortable, and it always came out high-pitched and even more awkward than the situation that caused it. My cheeks burned, and I dug deep to contain the rest of the giggles fighting to escape.
Jack saved me from further embarrassment when he placed his hand on top of mine and let out his own low chuckle. “Grayson, this is my girl, Lu. She does some funny things when she’s uncomfortable, but she’s cute as hell when she does them.”
I dragged my eyes from the table and gave him a grateful smile before finally turning to Grayson with a helpless shrug. He continued to stare at me as though he wanted to eat me whole. The intensity sent a heat through me, and I quickly looked away to Jack to see a curious look in his eyes. He watched the way Grayson acted toward me, but I think mostly he watched the way I reacted to him hitting on me. My mind turned toward what Jack told me about his past relationships. Just the thought of him and Grayson with one woman together caused my breath to increase. What would it be like? These two amazing men pleasuring me; all their attention solely focused on me and my wants and needs.
Shit.
When did I become the woman between these two men? But the thought stayed there in my mind. I licked my lips and swallowed, trying to get moisture back into my parched mouth. What would it be like? Their looks were so different. Jack had dark hair and bright blue eyes, while Grayson had dirty blond hair and cold gray-blue eyes. My breasts began to feel heavy as my pulse moved to my core, and I imagined my small frame surrounded by these two large men.
I lifted my eyes to peek at Grayson while he and Jack talked. His lips were so full. I wondered what they would feel like against mine. His words from the night he walked in on Jack and me played through my mind, setting up the perfect imagery.
“C’mon, man. Don’t you want any help? Look at those thighs wrapped tight around you. And look at those tits bounce with every thrust. I could let her lay against me and play with those sweet pink nipples.”
Grayson’s eyes moved to mine, and a slow smile tipped one side of his mouth, lifting his heavily stubbled cheek. My eyes widened, and I jerked them away from his to look at the water being set in front of me. I mentally shook and reprimanded myself for letting my thoughts drift away. What the hell was I thinking? I took a deep breath and tried to control my body. Jack squeezed my hand and gave me a wink.
I gave him a weak attempt at a reassuring smile, but it felt forced, and the glint in his eyes made me nervous. Like he knew the thoughts I just had in my mind, and he planned on asking me about them later, like he would enjoy it.
When our food came, I tried to stay in the conversation without being weird, but I couldn’t help the tension tightening my shoulders. I took a lot of deep breaths and tried a few subtle neck rolls. Mostly the guys talked about the case and their business. Grayson asked me about my job and my brother’s bar. The conversation remained simple, and by the end of lunch, my shoulders had lowered back to their normal resting spot. Barely. Grayson still slid in sexual comments and looks when he could, but Jack didn’t seem to mind. He just laughed them off, so I followed his lead and did the same. I was sure the next few times we hung out it would get easier.
And they did. Over the next couple of weeks, Jack and I would meet for lunch as often as possible, and Grayson would join us more and more frequently. The comments and looks continued, but I learned to deal with it. As I became more comfortable with him, I even began to make my own comments back. Jack just laughed and watched us. His looks became more and more heated as the meetings continued. He never did ask me about zoning out at our first lunch together, but I saw it there in his eyes. I knew it was only a matter of time before he did. It began to consume my thoughts. I wondered if he missed having threesomes with Grayson. I wondered if we would always ignore the way Grayson flirted with me and if Jack would watch like he enjoyed the interaction. I wondered if he would ask me if I wanted Grayson to join us sometime. Most of all, I wondered what I would say.