Where You Can Find Me by Fiona Cole

20

Jack spent lessand less time with me at night because he began working the case harder. I guessed the nighttime was when all the people he needed to speak to came out to do their work. I tried not to be bothered by it. I didn’t feel bothered by the lack of time with him as much as I feared over the dangerous position he worked in every night. He sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to daycare workers. So even if tracking a serial killer wasn’t enough, he talked to criminals on a daily basis. I tried not to let my fear of losing someone I loved consume me. I just forced myself to cherish and remember the time we spent together.

He still made plenty of time for me. We went on dates, and even if we couldn’t make it back to one of our houses before he had to go, we still made love before he left. One night he dragged me into a hidden alley and fucked me up against a brick wall. He fucked me so hard the back of my dress had tears in it. It was frantic and amazing. I loved when he gripped me so tight that he left bruises on my thighs. I loved to feel his desperation to have me. I loved him.

I’d finally accepted it and wanted to tell him. But I became a cliche and wanted to wait for the right moment. Or really any moment. We hadn’t had alone time, and I didn’t want to say it randomly or in a crowded restaurant. And I didn’t want to say it while he made love to me. I wanted him to know I said it because I meant it and not in a moment of passion. So while I hadn’t told him yet, I tried to show him every moment we spent together.

One night, he didn’t have any work to do, and we ordered in pizza. A movie played, but we barely watched it as we made out and groped on the couch. We both had already come once from dry humping each other like a bunch of teenagers. I found it sexy that he just came in his pants and didn’t even care about the mess, like he wore what I did to him with pride. Facing him, I scooted back, resting my butt on his knees, straddling him, and reached my hands into his pants to rub his cum onto my fingers. Without losing eye contact, I pulled my wet fingers out and scooted off his legs to sit on the coffee table. I only wore a long T-shirt and panties, and I spread my legs so he could see all of me. With my hand coated in his cum, I pushed my underwear aside and began to rub my clit.

“Oh, fuck.” It came out as a deep moan like he was pleading to God for patience. Or maybe it was a thank you for being able to watch me. “Yeah, baby. Rub my cum all over that pussy. You know it’s mine. Mark it as mine.”

I leaned back, resting my free hand behind me as I tilted my head back and pushed two fingers inside my core. I had never pleasured myself in front of anyone before but doing it for Jack turned me on faster than anything before. A fine sheen of sweat coated my skin as a flush rose up my neck and into my cheeks. I pulled my fingers out and circled my clit again, letting a moan escape my lips.

“Look at me.” His deep voice vibrated through my chest, tightening my nipples to hard points. I lifted my head and met his eyes. “Do you like me watching you?” I nodded. “You keep finding ways to show me how much you love being watched.” We exchanged a knowing look, making the tension thick between us as I waited for him to acknowledge that it made us both think of Grayson and how he watched us. “I love it.” I felt both relief and disappointment that he didn’t bring up Grayson. “Now come for me.”

I let go of the feeling as I rubbed faster and harder and came moments later. I watched his eyes burn as my thigh muscles tightened, prolonging the orgasm. My whole body clenched as the euphoric wave ripped through me. I let out a deep breath once it had ebbed and pulled my hand from between my thighs. We both breathed heavily as I licked my lips and brought my fingers to my mouth, touching them to my tongue.

His lip curled up, and a growl rumbled out of his chest. He stood and picked me up from the table, and I wrapped my legs around his waist while he carried me to my bedroom. As soon as we stepped into the room, he tossed me onto the bed and began removing his shirt before I even stopped bouncing. Next, he moved his hands to the button on his jeans and said, “Get naked.”

I didn’t have to be told twice and quickly removed my shirt and underwear. A small moment passed while we were both naked; me, laying back on the bed supported by my hands behind me, and him standing at the foot of the bed. A moment of silence stretched out between us as we took each other in—the calm before the storm. I never tired of looking over his long and muscular body. Every part of his body was solid in that perfectly lean way of not being bulky. I took it all in before he swallowed me whole, and we devoured each other.

“My sweet, dirty, Luella. You really do love being watched, don’t you?” I met his eyes and saw in them where this conversation would take us. I had been waiting for it. I gave a small nod as my breathing increased, and I swallowed the saliva building in my mouth in anticipation. “You love to push your sexual boundaries.”

“I do with you,” I responded with an unintentional whisper. A glimmer of a smile appeared in his eyes, letting me know he approved of my response.

He climbed on the bed and moved over me. “How far do you think we can push those boundaries?” His lips fell to my neck and made their way to my jaw as goose bumps spread over my skin. “How far do you want to push them?”

My head fell back, and my response fell from my mouth on a gasp as he bit down hard on my shoulder. “As far as you want. I want it all with you.”

He stopped his exploration of my skin with his mouth and settled himself between my spread legs. His eyes stayed focused on me, studying me as he placed a condom on and lined himself up with my pussy. Then, just when he was about to push in, he stopped. “Do you want it all with me?” He paused and then pushed inside me with one shove and asked, “And to share it with Grayson?”

And there it was. The question I knew he had been waiting to bring up, but no matter how much I prepared myself for it, it still shocked me. It still made me nervous to think about. I couldn’t think about it now while he thrust in and out relentlessly. “I … I don’t…” I couldn’t form words. I could barely hold any thoughts beyond the feeling of him on top of me, of the desire in his eyes while he fucked me. He grabbed my thigh and brought it up over his hip to get a deeper angle. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. I saw the way your mind wandered when we had lunch the first time. I saw the way you flushed. Your increased breathing. The way your nipples hardened. I see the interest in your eyes when we all get together. You love the attention we both give you.”

I couldn’t focus, but I started to worry that maybe he thought I liked Grayson on an intimate level. I began to shake my head no as I gasped for breath. His head dropped to my nipple and sucked it deep into his mouth, ending the torture with a small bite. A moan slipped from my throat as I tried to explain. “No. It’s not like that, Jack. I only want you.”

“Oh, sweet, Lu. It’s okay. I know you belong to me.” His hips slowed down to make sure I understood he knew I only cared about him, and I heard what he was saying. “I know you would never want anything emotional with Grayson. But I know you. I see the curiosity in your eyes. I saw it from night one. I saw it even more when I told you about Grayson’s and my threesomes.” He leaned down to brush his light dusting of chest hair over my nipples and spoke in my ear after a bite. “It’s okay, baby. I want to give it to you if that is what you want.” He pulled back to sit upright on his knees and pulled my legs up to his shoulders. “Is that what you want, Lu?”

His pace picked up again, and he swiveled on his inward thrust to brush against my clit. My brain returned to a ball of mush as I tried to formulate words. “I … I don’t know, Jack.”

“Yes, you do. It’s okay, baby. Tell me. Tell me you want it.” He pushed in harder and harder, causing my breasts to bounce up with each slap of flesh. “Tell me you want the attention of two men all on you; two men pleasuring you—just you. Tell. Me. Yes.” He punctuated the last three words with hard thrusts. He slowed down but didn’t lessen the force on his movements. He began to bring me down from my peak and withhold my pleasure. “Tell me, and I will fuck you like your body is begging me to right now.” I squeezed my legs around him to get more tension back into my body. I moved restlessly against him, desperate to get back to the pinnacle he refused to give me. I needed it.

“Yes!” The word ripped from my throat as I gave into the frustration mounting inside me. I wanted my pleasure, and I wanted him to give me everything. I wanted it all, and I wanted it all with him. “Yes. I want you to fuck me. I want Grayson there. I want it.” The words poured out of me on a plea. “Please. Please, Jack.” I didn’t know what I begged for at that point. I just wanted him.

“Good girl.” He reached down and grabbed my hips, and began pounding into me. It didn’t take long for both of us to finish and fall into a sweaty heap on my bed.

We didn’t talk about it at all after that. He came back to bed after cleaning up and looked questioningly in my eyes. I gave him a reassuring smile, and he leaned down to kiss my forehead before pulling me into him as he laid down.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” he asked in an amazed voice.

“I ask myself the same thing every day.”

He fell asleep soon after that, and I turned to watch him sleep. I loved his imperfect features. His slightly bigger nose that had been broken before. The scar in his eyebrow. The crows feet on the side of his eyes. Cataloging everything made my heart swell, and I had to say it at least once. With just a whisper, I admitted my feelings to the dark. “I love you.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, his eyes popped open, and he turned to look at me.

“Oh-hi.” It came out as one rushed word. My eyes were wide in my panic, and I blurted out a ‘Oh. Hi.’ like I was trying to say Ohio without the last O.

I couldn’t remember the last breath I took, but the lightheadedness reminded me I should breathe. I took a deep, shaky breath in and tried to understand the look in his eyes. It looked like wonder. They then crinkled at the corners as his lips turned up. His hand moved up to brush the side of my cheek before saying, “I love you too, Lu.” He leaned down to kiss me as a warm joy filled my chest. Butterflies moved throughout my stomach as I tried to process the happiness my body felt. He pulled back with a full smile, and I couldn’t help but return it.

“Yeah?”

“Yes. And next time, don’t wait until I’m asleep. What would we have done if I hadn’t heard you?” He shook his head and made a tsking noise but laid his head back on the pillow and pulled me to his side. “Let’s get some sleep.”

A huge smile settled on my face, and happy tears burned my eyes as I curled in tight to his chest. I couldn’t remember a time I had felt so happy. I said it again just because I wanted it to be the last thing I heard before falling asleep. “I love you, Jack.”

“I love you, too, Luella.”