Where You Can Find Me by Fiona Cole

22

I wokeup to the sounds and smells of Jameson making coffee. I rolled over on the couch and looked at the clock on the cable box to see that it was already after eight. After tossing and turning all night, I finally fell asleep a little after four. I stumbled my way off the couch and walked up to the small counter off of the kitchen to watch Jameson pour us each a bowl of cereal. Cereal always comforted me when I was stressed. He placed the bowl of Lucky Charms and a coffee cup in front of me and added milk to both. I took my stuff back to the couch, and soon he joined me before turning on HGTV.

He didn’t waste time with small talk and trying to bring me out of my shell. He just gave me my comforts and let me sit in silence. He knew I would talk when I was ready. But when would that be? When would I ever be ready to talk about seeing a murder scene? When would I be able to process seeing someone like that when I first met her laughing and flirting with Jack and Grayson? Whitney. How did I try to come to understand that? It was one thing to hear about strangers on the news and another completely to come into such close contact with the murder victim.

I didn’t think I would ever be able to understand that.

So instead, I sat there and ate my Lucky Charms and clutched my coffee to my chest to warm me up while we binge-watched House Hunters. It didn’t last long before Jack and Grayson came to Jameson’s to take me home. I could hear the angry rumble of Jameson questioning Jack, but I just waited. I didn’t want to move. I should’ve gone to the door and hugged him and asked him how the rest of the night went, but I wasn’t eager to face the events from the previous night. So I put it off, waiting for him to come and get me.

“Hey, Lu.” Jack came around the couch and sat down next to me, putting his arms around me and pulling me in for a hug. I glimpsed Grayson in the corner before burrowing into Jack’s chest. In that moment, I could have broken down in his arms. I almost did. Panic began to rise up my throat and tighten my chest as tears burned the back of my eyes. Taking a deep, shaky breath, my fingers clutched his shoulders, bunching up his shirt. When I finally felt like I completely controlled my emotions, I pulled back and gave him a quick kiss before asking him how he was doing.

“I’m fine, babe. I’m more worried about you.”

I gave him the best smile I could muster and shook my head. “Don’t worry about me. I had cereal this morning and a wonderful hug in a mug. I’m all good.”

My hug in a mug comment drew a chuckle from him, and even if it was forced, the smile and laugh eased some of the ache in my chest. “Well, how about Grayson and I take you home? Maybe pick up some lunch on the way? My girl needs more sustenance than cereal.”

As I hugged Jameson goodbye, he clung to me a little bit tighter than usual, and I almost caved to my emotions again. There was something about being in the arms of someone you trusted that made you want to let it all out. But I also needed to hold my shit together. With a quick kiss on his cheek and a whispered, “Thank you.” I pulled out of his arms and left with Jack and Grayson.

The drive home was made in silence. We stopped to pick up lunch from Penn Station because the guys hadn’t eaten since the night before, and I needed more comfort food in the form of fresh-squeezed lemonade and French fries. We parked and headed to the house, passing Grayson’s truck already sitting in my driveway. Apparently, they’d dropped it off before coming to get me since it was on the way.

Once inside, they plopped down at the table and commenced to annihilate their sandwiches. Even watching my two brothers eat while growing up hadn’t made me used to the way men ate. Or the amount they ate. By the time they were done, I had barely made a dent in my French fries. We finally progressed on to small talk, but it didn’t last long before Grayson asked me how I was after last night.

“I’m not going to lie, Grayson. Pretty fucking freaked out. But what can I say? What can I complain about? I’m alive, right?”

“That’s a fair response. More positive than most.” He seemed impressed with my ability to avoid being a blubbering mess, and honestly, so was I. “That’s pretty sexy of you to be that strong. Most people would be a blubbering mess.” He gave me a wink before talking to Jack. “You got a keeper here, Jack.”

Jack chuckled, and the light flirting set me at ease. It felt normal, and normal felt phenomenal right now. But it was short-lived. My shoulders tightened up again as soon as the guys started talking about the case.

“So, does this mean you are going to start working on the case again?” Grayson asked Jack.

Jack glanced at me to see my response to the subject. I schooled my features to be neutral, and I guessed it worked because he continued the conversation. “Yeah, I’ll need to pass off some of the smaller cases to the other guys to finish up while I get back to devoting more attention to the case again. Especially the next few days to see if anyone saw anything. I need to get it while the trail is still warm.”

“Yeah, maybe track down the person who called in the sighting of the killer.”

They both leaned back in their chairs, looking exhausted. Grayson let out a deep breath through pursed lips and ran his hand over his face. He looked like he hadn’t shaved in a week. The stubble suited him and gave him a rugged look, but the dark circles under his eyes made him look tired. I couldn’t help but take notice of his large biceps as he locked his fingers behind his neck.

Jack’s whispered words rushed through my head, and I felt heat creep in my cheeks to think of it at a time like this. I dropped my eyes to my fries as the guys continued their conversation.

“The medical examiner thinks the killer might have wanted to be seen. After not being seen for so long, being spotted seems out of his MO. But who knows? Maybe he messed up this time.”

Grayson pondered Jack’s words. “I don’t think he messed up. This isn’t some random, short-lived killer. This guy is smart and knows what he is doing. I think he is taunting you. And the cops. I think he wants to be noticed and remembered in history. Just like the medical examiner said.”

Jack looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t fucking know, man, and this shit is wearing me thin.”

I hated seeing him so defeated. I had a better understanding of what he had been going through the past few months, and I knew that added to his stress. Reaching over, I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“I know, man. I know it sucks. But the way things are going, it’ll be over soon.” Grayson’s eyes dropped to our hands before speaking again. “I’ll let you two have some alone time; I’m taking off. Get some sleep now because the next couple of days are going to be long.” Grayson stood up and threw his trash away before coming over to me. He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on my cheek. “Take care of our guy, all right? And yourself. Get some sleep. Have your friend come stay with you for a few days.”

He slapped Jack on the shoulder before heading out the front door.

Grabbing Jack’s hand, I led him to the shower. We cleaned off the remnants of last night. At the end, we wrapped our arms around each other and just held on, thankful for the contact. After drying off, we buried ourselves in blankets. We lounged in bed all day and only left it to grab pizza from the refrigerator. It was just past eight when we decided to call it a night, but the last twenty-four hours had exhausted us.

“I’ll probably leave before you’re awake in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to be busy the next couple of days.”

“I know. It’s okay, Jack.”

“Okay. I love you.” His eyes pleaded with me to understand how much he meant those words. I pressed a heavy kiss to his lips.

“I love you, too.” After that, we both fell asleep.