Where You Can Find Me by Fiona Cole
8
Monday dragged on.My experiment in the lab failed, and I didn’t have enough of my solutions to perform the procedure again. I went to my office to order more and bang my head on my desk in failure, also known as making notes about how to not screw up again. This, of course, was broken up by me repeatedly checking my phone to make sure I didn’t miss anything from Jack.
Much to my disappointment, I went home with a heavy heart and nothing from him. With the recent switch from Daylight Savings Time, it was dark by the time I had to walk across the street to the parking garage. Jack may have filled my thoughts all day, but as I strode through the quiet garage with only the sound of my heels clicking on the pavement and the buzzing of the lights from above, my mind conjured all kinds of images of murdered bodies. I made a note to cut back on the crime shows as I placed my cold keys between my knuckles and squeezed tight enough to feel the grooves of the keys. When a door slammed, I yelped and jerked, looking side to side for its source, as my pace to my car increased. When my eyes landed on night security opening a stairwell door, I did a quick wave and rushed to my car. The deep breath trapped in my lungs seeped out with relief at hearing the clunk of my car locks. Laughing at my overactive foolishness, I started the car and drove home.
Later that night, I found myself on a repeat of Sunday night, my hamster wheel of thoughts spinning out of control, sending me into a restless night of sleep. I wasn’t typically one to be so obsessed with hearing from a guy, but Jack made me excited about possibilities, and he pushed me into trying a restart of our relationship. And then it turned into me not hearing from him. It made me go crazy with all my thoughts.
What did I interpret wrong?
Did he ask me to call him?
Should I call him?
Is he that into me?
Is that hamster changing into a dinosaur?
What?
That was my cue to give in to the exhaustion settling deep into my bones. My heavy eyes drifted closed, and off I floated into a night of tossing and turning.
Jack: Make me feel like I’m worth it.
This message waitedfor me when my alarm jolted me awake.
Immediately, sleep was forgotten as excitement rushed through my limbs. My hands started to shake with the rush of adrenaline, my body still clinging to the last bits of slumber. My cheeks stretched, and I bit my bottom lip. Smiling this early felt good. This new relationship excitement always gave me butterflies when first getting to know someone, but with Jack, it was heightened by the intensity with which I liked him.
Me: Maybe I will. Later.
I didn’t get a response, but since his message came in a little after three in the morning, I assumed he was still sleeping. I, once again, tried to not check my phone every few minutes and managed to make it to lunch before finally giving in. I smiled once again upon seeing a message from him.
Jack:… ;)
With that vague response, I realized he wanted me to make the next move. I guessed I would have to make him feel worth it because he most definitely was. I chewed a bite of my turkey wrap as I contemplated what to say. After long deliberation, I decided to keep it simple.
Me: Hello! How is your day going?
He responded immediately.
Jack: Hello, beautiful. It’s going okay. Last night went late, and I’m feeling the effects today.
Me: Oooooh. Did you party extra hard??
Jack: Hahahaha! I don’t think so. But these are the hours of an investigator. *sigh*
Me: Poor Jack. :( If I could, I would bring you a coffee.
Jack: Maybe another time. Until then, I will continue with my plans to attach an I.V. of caffeine.
Me: LOL! Very funny.
Jack:What about lunch on Thursday? Can you do that?
After glancing at my calendar, I saw I still wouldn’t be able to do my work until the replacement shipment came. For once, I was excited about the delay.
Me: I think I can squeeze you in.
Jack: You’re so gracious and kind to do so. Let’s meet at Potbelly’s around noon. Sound good?
Me: Sounds fantastic.
We metat the Potbelly’s, located next to the University of Cincinnati. Jack said he was doing work in that area, and it wasn’t far for me. Approaching the corner building, I saw Jack leaning against the brick in a long-sleeve gray T-shirt. The Indian summer we were having made a jacket unnecessary. Not that I was complaining because the shirt molded to his shoulders and biceps, causing me to check that no drool was coming from my mouth.
My heels clicking on the sidewalk alerted him to my approach, and he looked up while pocketing his phone. When his eyes connected with mine, a sexy smile formed on his face, and the wind was knocked out of me. It had been only a week, but somehow, I had forgotten how beautiful he was. I stopped walking involuntarily, standing rooted to the spot. I was sure I appeared as if something was wrong with me. Looking at him just caused my other motor functions to quit. He wore black denim jeans, and his whole ensemble alluded to this dark appearance.
A desire pulsed through my veins, turning me on. My fingers tingled with the need to move closer and run them across his broad chest.
Reminding myself that we were taking it slow, I tried to make myself appear calm, cool, and collected. Don’t be a floozy, Lu!
My cool went right out the window when Jack pushed off the wall and approached me, causing my body temperature to rise. When he was close, he wrapped his arms around me and leaned down to whisper in my ear, “I missed you, Luella.” He pulled away with a light, lingering kiss to my cheek. “I’m sorry. Is hugging not allowed?”
“What?” It came out as a whisper. Not even a whisper, more like it just fell from my mouth on a breath. I couldn’t feel my limbs. I could only feel the tingling parts of my body that came into contact with his. His strong arms embraced me. His lips pressed against my cheek. I existed solely at the places touching him.
He cocked his head to the side and squinted his eyes. Talking slowly, confusion evident in his voice, he said, “Usually, when someone gives you a hug, you hug them back. You’re kind of just standing there. I wanted to make sure hugging was okay.” His arms fell from around my back, and I realized that I had stood there doing nothing while he hugged me. My mouth probably hung open, and my poor brain melted as it tried to process his body being so close to mine.
I started to giggle at how uncomfortable I had made the situation. Not a cute giggle like oh-silly-me. Instead, it came out like an I-was-insane giggle, high-pitched and awkward. He cocked an eyebrow, and I mentally shook myself, trying to get my shit together.
I scrunched my eyes closed, shaking my head ‘no’ in embarrassment. At last, I lifted my eyes with a smile. “Of course, hugs are fine. I think I just got caught off guard. Sorry. It’s been a busy morning.” It hadn’t been a busy morning. But I needed an excuse for acting like a complete lunatic.
“No problem. I completely understand,” he responded with a small laugh. He reached to open the door while his other hand reached back for mine, waiting for me to grab on. “Shall we have some lunch?”
I placed my palm in his and felt a fire move up my arm and down to my core. With a solid nod in answer, we made our way inside. We chose our selection from the chalkboard menu and grabbed a booth along the wall under the decorative loft. Looking at the table nearby with two girls giggling over their textbooks and their hair haphazardly piled on top of their heads in that perfect stylish way, I started to feel old. Their short denim shorts and crop tops made me feel drab in comparison.
Then I remembered the mistakes I made as a young and reckless student, and I felt immensely better about being older, wiser, and stronger. You couldn’t make me repeat those years for a million dollars.
Since we both had to get back to work soon, the conversation was simple, allowing us to get to know each other. Throughout the meal, he gave me his full attention. He never made me feel weird and actually laughed at my usually awkward comments. I warned him of my peculiar and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor. He just laughed and said he might find it sexy.
Sexy? Sexy!
I couldn’t believe my luck that I had found a guy who thought my lame jokes were sexy. I would not look a gift horse in the mouth.
To top it off, all throughout our time together, he found ways to touch me. A lingering caress to my hand, bumping his knees against mine. It all seemed simple, but the feelings those small grazes evoked in me were anything but juvenile. Trying to not fall at this man’s feet and beg him to take me to the bathroom again became more and more difficult with each touch. I was surprised I didn’t have flushed cheeks from how hot the rest of my body was getting.
I thought my knees were going to give out when he placed his hand extra low on my back to walk me out of the restaurant. Standing on the sidewalk, he kept his hand at my waist when I turned to look up at him.
“Luella, thank you for an amazing lunch. I know it wasn’t long, but it was enjoyable.”
“For me, too. We’ll have to do it again.”
“Definitely. I’m not sure what my schedule is looking like right now, but I’ll call you, and hopefully, we can see each other this weekend?”
“Okay,” I breathed, nodding my head.
After a small pause to think about what to do next, Jack leaned down to kiss my cheek. I quickly turned my head, and he caught the corner of my mouth, landing partially on my cheek, partly on my lips. In an instant, I remembered how his lips felt on mine. How they felt on my skin—my nipple. I took a deep breath through my nose and stepped into him. He pulled his head back enough to look in my eyes. I peered through my lashes to see the heat in his. One side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, and he leaned into me again. Instead of kissing me, he leaned toward my ear and whispered, “As much as I want to take you up on the promise your eyes are making me right now, this sidewalk isn’t quite as private as the bathroom. Otherwise, I wouldn’t hesitate.” He lightly bit my ear, and my breath caught in my lungs while I shoved my chest into his in reaction. “So, for now, I will let you go.” Jack pulled back and bent at the knees to make sure he could see my face. “But remember how you look at me next time. While I will always respect your wishes, sometimes I might push your boundaries.” And with a wink, he stepped away, turning to walk back to his car. “Until next time, my sweet, Luella.”
I raised my hand for a small wave. My stunned body wasn’t capable of anything else. My breath released, and I finally blinked my wide eyes as I clumsily turned to head back to my car, daydreaming of next time.