Where You Can Find Me by Fiona Cole

9

The next twoweeks flew by. November gave way to December, and our Indian summer disappeared with it. Thanksgiving passed in a blur. It was never a big deal in our family after our parents passed away, but Jameson and I started our own tradition of spending Thanksgiving at a Japanese hibachi grill. The holidays made me miss Asher the most, and I could see the sorrow on Jameson’s face. While we made the best of our quirky traditions, we missed the family we once had. Sometimes, like this year, Evie would join us when she didn’t have the time to travel home to California. She said she preferred our hassle-free tradition to the craziness of her family. I think she really just liked torturing Jameson. Evie naturally had a carefree, whimsical attitude toward life, but I thought she enhanced it for the sake of getting on his nerves. I preferred to lean back and enjoy the show.

Jameson fought his attraction to Evie, and the more he fought, the more frustrated he became. It never failed to amuse me when he got his panties in a bunch. Evie and I would always give each other knowing looks and laugh at my brother’s expense. I somehow managed to always be surprised by the shade of red his anger brought on. One day those two were going to collide. I felt both dread and excitement for that day.

Jack took some time to go see his family in Texas. I didn’t ask him to join my family since we had only been seeing each other for a few weeks, and there was no need to rush it. We had spent the last two weeks much like the first one. We met up for lunch every once in a while and tried to see each other on the weekends. Sometimes we texted all day, silly messages sharing lame jokes—nothing important. Other days, we didn’t speak at all, but I often woke to a message he’d sent in the middle of the night.

I knew he worked on the case, which took more time than he wanted. He never talked about it, and I never asked, but I could sense the tension that maybe things weren’t going as easily as he had hoped. Sometimes when we saw each other, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair looked like he had dragged his hands through it one too many times. He sounded tired and drained, whether it be emotionally or physically. However, despite whatever he may or may not have had going on, he always made me feel worth it. And that was what I needed in my life in that moment. My past was just that—my past—but sometimes, feelings linger and cling to you in minor ways. You never notice them because they’re small and insignificant until they’re not anymore.

Whenever I looked at Jack, part of me was pulled toward my past, and it weighed me down. When I looked at how beautiful he was, I questioned my worthiness. I wasn’t necessarily putting myself down, but I understood my average looks. I was fit from working out, but I had never been described as a knockout. My defining feature was most likely my eyes. They were large in a pretty way, and the bright green made them stand out against my darker hair. Other than that, I had accepted that I was average. After some struggles, I learned to look on the brighter side of life. I knew beauty was in the eye of the beholder. I knew there were different strokes for different folks, and apparently, my stroke was just right for Jack. I tried to let it be at that. I tried to let my insignificant hang-ups be just that: insignificant.

But sometimes, the past had a way of butting its head in your business when all you were trying to do was let it go.

Jack:Let me take you to dinner tomorrow night. Nothing too fancy, but somewhere we can be together. Maybe dance a little.

This message came lateThursday night as I climbed into bed.

Me: Jack, I’m not having sex in a bathroom with you again just because you get me to dance.

Jack:Haha! Not what I was thinking. But I won’t lie. I wouldn’t be opposed.

Me: I bet. And am I not worth fancy?

Jack:Oh, baby. You are worth more than anything fancier I can give you. But I heard this place has good food, and I thought I would try it with you. I still feel bad about canceling last weekend.

Jack and I had plans to see a movie, and he had to cancel last minute because a meeting ran over. I tried to reassure him not to worry, but obviously, the man couldn’t listen.

Me: Don’t feel bad. I told you this already … don’t make me spank you. *raises eyebrow*

Jack: Oh, Lu … Don’t play with fire.

Me: But I’m already hot—and you said you wanted to try new things with me. ;)

Jack: You have no idea the things I want to try with you, Lu.

I stopped for a minute and considered my options. I knew my next response would be a turning point. I could have made a joke and turned it back to a more friendly conversation, or I could have responded the way I really wanted to. The past few weeks had been simple between us. We touched and kissed, and sometimes the kisses got a little heated, but we always managed to pull back. We had to because we were usually out in public. But tonight, in the privacy of our homes, I could take this somewhere further. I paused, staring at the screen, contemplating my options.

Me: Tell me…

I had thrown the ball into his court. I wasn’t saying I wanted to go further, but I wasn’t denying that I wanted to.

Jack: … what??

Me: Tell. Me.

Jack: Lu, the things I want to try with you … I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been trying to take things slow, but every time I think about you, I remember our night at the club. I remember how soft you are. How sweet you taste. The way you moan my name when you come.

My breathing sped up, and I felt a flush invade my cheeks.

Me: Tell me more … please.

Jack: That reminds me of the way you begged me to let you come. I remember the way your breasts bounced when I fucked you. But what I remember most is the fire and desire in your eyes when we were being watched.

Jack: I remember when you told me you liked it.

Jack: That’s what I want to try … I want to find, and try, all the things that make that same fire and desire come back into your eyes. I want to try everything with you. Anything for you.

Me: Oh, god.

Jack: Do me a favor, Lu.

Me:Anything.

Jack: Make yourself come for me … send me a picture to prove it … I can’t call now. Otherwise, I could talk you through it, baby, but prove it to me another way.

Shit. My body was on fire. One big throbbing blaze. It roared louder and louder with each message that came from him. I thought I would feel shame when he reminded me of how turned on I was when that guy walked in on us. But instead, what I remembered was the desire to be watched and wanted when it happened. Jack’s approval only ignited the burn hotter. I didn’t need his approval, but I wanted it.

With his words swimming in my mind, I set about my task. With a tentative touch, I swiped my thumbs across my nipples. When they hardened, I pinched them hard, gasping and lifting my hips in reaction. Lifting my tank to just above my tits, I used my left hand to continue playing with them, and with my right hand, I pushed into my underwear to feel my pussy. I was so wet from his words that I knew he wouldn’t have to wait long for proof.

With trembling knees, I dug my heels into the bed, my pointer and ring finger parting my lips to expose my clit. The cool air blew against me, and I used my middle finger to rub my bud. I continued to play with my nipples, remembering how Jack sucked on them, almost making me come from that alone. Pushing two fingers inside, I massaged while my vagina tightened, gaining friction. I pulled out and began to run my two fingers in tight circles around my clit and roughly pinched and pulled on my nipples.

A moan slipped from my throat, and I wished I could hear Jack’s voice whispering in my ear. All of a sudden, his eyes flashed in my mind, almost sending me over the edge. Clenching my eyes, focusing on the image, when from behind him, my imagination conjured the guy who walked in on us. Jack smiled and made room for the stranger with gray-blue eyes. I gasped, knowing what was coming next. Heat spread throughout my body as my heels dug deep into my mattress, causing my ass to lift off the bed, clenching tight as my pussy began pulsing through my orgasm. Slick fingers rubbed quickly, trying to extend the pleasure as my pulse pounded through my body. I stopped breathing and tightened every muscle, making it last.

At last, I took a breath and relaxed back on the bed, slowing my fingers to bring me back down from my climax. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, smiling at how good it felt. Then I thought about how Jack asked me to prove it to him. I grabbed my phone, thinking of taking a picture but not wanting to be so obvious. I pulled my fingers away from my clit and heard how wet they were.

So wet I could see my cum.

I decided to be a little obvious and took my right hand and held my left breast, letting a little of my nipple peek through. I captured only half my face in the picture showing my glazed eye, the sweat along my hairline, and the pink flush still tainting my skin. Without thinking too much about it, I sent the picture.

I waited, but I didn’t have to wait for long.

Jack: …. Fuck me, Luella … I just … I’m fucking speechless. I would give just about anything to lick to those damn fingers clean.

Me: I’ll lick them clean for you.

Jack: *growls* Tomorrow night. We are going on a date tomorrow night. And, Luella?

Me: Yes, Jack?

Jack: The rules of this game have changed … the speed of this game has changed. Be ready.