More Than This by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 4:

Isabella

I

was so happy. Hand in hand with Giovanni, we walked through the city, taking in the sights. I laughed at a bad joke he made and he smirked, showing me that deep dimple of his that I loved so much. He caressed my hand with his thumb and brought my hand to his lips, leaving a sweet kiss on it. My heart swelled with happiness. He pulled me into his arms and I was content. There was nothing else that I needed but to be here with him.

He pulled away to face me. “I love you, Casey.”

Casey?

My eyes flung open and I was greeted by darkness. My heart ached at that cruel dream. My cheeks were stained with tears again. I cried for hours before sleep finally found me and then I was greeted with that? I reached for my phone to check the time and found the battery had died. I dragged myself off the couch and went over to my bag, digging through it until I found my charger. I plugged it in by the counter and left it to charge. I had no idea what time it was or how long I had been asleep. The hovering sadness I was feeling settled in again and the dull ache in my chest wasn't going to be leaving me anytime soon. I dragged myself to the shower and turned it on. My appearance in the mirror caught my eye and I was saddened by it.

I looked defeated.

Dark bags under my eyes and bloodshot stained eyes from all the tears I couldn't hold back. I stared back at my reflection and I wanted to apologize to the sad girl in front of me for getting her into this mess in the first place. I wanted to apologize to her for allowing her to fall for Giovanni. I wanted to apologize for the pain she was feeling right now. I turned away from my reflection and removed my clothes, stepping into the shower. The hot water hit my skin as I took a deep breath in. I closed my eyes and stepped forward, tilting my head back against the water. For a brief moment, I felt calm and collected as I focused on the hot water. I thought of nothing more for those few seconds, but it was short-lived before memories of Giovanni and I flooded my mind. The memories of that night in Valencia under the hot water. A night filled with passion and love - at the time we hadn't said that to each other, but we were already in that place. The warm tears stained my cheeks again.

“Come on, Isabella,” I reprimanded myself. “Stop crying.”

I quickly finished up in the shower and turned the water off. I started to feel more collected as I stepped outside, wrapping my body with the towel. I thought back to earlier when Giovanni was banging at my door. I should have opened the door. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I couldn't bring myself to face him.

You can't run away from this.

That phrase echoed in my mind. I needed to rip the band-aid off and speak to him. I needed to find out everything I could about Casey's pregnancy and what that meant for us. The thought of Giovanni with Casey in any way were thoughts I hated to entertain so the idea of the two of them starting a family together was killing me inside.

I made my way to my room and quickly changed into something more comfortable and much warmer. Within days winter had started to make itself comfortable in the city. As I pulled a hoodie over my head, I heard my name from the kitchen.

“Isabella?” Reyna shouted. “Izzy, where are you?”

“I'm here,” I replied as I strolled down the hall and came into view.

“Oh, thank goodness!” She threw her arms around me. “I've been trying to call you, but you weren't picking up.”

“Sorry about that, my phone died.”

She pulled away to meet my gaze. “I saw the story about Casey.”

I remained silent. I didn't know what to say. My boyfriend got another woman pregnant and it was out there for everyone to see. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

“Is it true?”

I nodded.

“I'm going to kill him,” Reyna announced.

“Rey, please.”

“I'm serious, Izzy,” she reiterated. “What happened? How far along is she?”

“I don't know.”

“How long has he known?”

“I don't know that either. I think since yesterday, but I could be wrong,” I mumbled.

She pulled me to the couch to sit down next to her, never letting go of my hand.

“Have you seen him?” she asked softly.

“He arrived to fetch me at the airport but I couldn't face him when I found out so I took the metro home. He followed me here and spent a while outside banging for me to open the door but I just couldn't. I don't know why, Rey, but I just couldn't bring myself to open the door.”

A stray tear escaped my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I didn't want to continue to cry. I was already tired of it and my eyes were burning from having to constantly wipe my tears away.

“I understand you need time to process this,” she started.

“Thank y-”.

She quickly interrupted me to continue her thought. “But, Izzy, you have to go and speak to him. You run away when things get difficult and I don't want to be the friend that lets you do that this time. Especially not with something like this.”

I hung my head. “I know. I just don't know what to do. I'm so angry at him and the blurred lines of our timeline together. I love him so much, but could I really stand by and watch while he and Casey raise a child together?”

That thought alone brought on another wave of nausea.

“How could I put myself through that?” I continued. “I hated to see him with anyone else and now they're bringing a baby into this world. Shouldn't they at least try to be a family for the sake of the baby? I don't even know what I'm supposed to do in this situation.”

This time the tears streamed down my face again and I couldn't hold them back. Reyna pulled me closer to her, allowing my head to bury itself in her shoulder. I held onto her and allowed my emotions to overcome me. I had to go and speak to Giovanni, but I couldn't afford to break down in front of him. He'd want to comfort me and how would I be able to leave his arms?

“Listen to me, Izzy,” she said as she ran her fingers through my hair. “I am going to be here for you okay? Whatever you decide to do, you need to go and see him. You are going to drive yourself crazy with all these unanswered questions.”

She was right. I wasn't going to be able to figure anything out if I didn't get the answers that I deserved. I pulled away from her and took a deep breath in. I wiped my tears and tried to prepare myself for the conversation I was going to have to have.

“I'll call him now,” I said and went to my phone on the counter.

I turned it on and all my notifications started to come through. Missed calls from Reyna, messages from Katrina and Sergio and there was a recent voicemail from Giovanni. I took in another deep breath and brought the phone to my ear.

“Isabella,” he slurred. “Isabella, please talk to me. I need you to talk to me. We need to talk.”

He sounded as if he had been drinking as he continued. “Baby, I love you and I need you to know that. Please, we have to figure this out together. I'm sorry.”

My heart ached for him. I hated hearing him like that. We needed to talk about this and I wasn't going to be able to wait until tomorrow to do so. I felt bad that I hadn't opened up earlier, but I didn't know what the right way would be to handle this situation. I scrolled to his name and stared at it on my screen for a few seconds. Giovanni Velázquez, the man who changed it all for me, and now I had this terrible feeling inside that I was going to have to let him go.

How could I do that?

I pushed that thought out of my mind and dialled his number.

After the second ring, he answered, “Isabella?”

“Hi, Giovanni.”

“You called me. Fuck, thank you for calling me back. I tried to call - I’ve been trying to call you, I wa-” he rambled on, slurring his words.

He was definitely drunk. I leaned against the counter trying to put together what I wanted to say. Just hearing his voice was already painful enough, but I was adamant to keep it together, even if it was just for this phone call.

“I needed some time to wrap my head around what's going on,” I explained. “And I have some questions.”

“I'd be surprised if you didn't,” he joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Can I see you? I need to see you.”

“Yes, I'd like to meet up and talk.” I kept my tone as clipped as possible.

“Can I?” he asked as he mumbled again. “Can I come to you again?”

Through his constant slurring and mumbling, he was in no condition to get behind the wheel right now. As much as I wanted him to come to me so I could be in the safety of my own place, I didn't want him going out and endangering himself or others.

“No, I'll come to you,” I said. “I'm going to leave now.”

“Okay, thank you so much, baby,” he murmured.

“See you soon.”

“I love you, Isabella.”

I shut my eyes in an attempt to stop the new tears that had formed. “I'll see you, Giovanni.”

I ended the call. I couldn't say it back to him, no matter how much I wanted to. It pained me to hear him say it. The three words I had waited so long to hear him say. The three words I had been longing to hear and now they brought on a wave of pain I didn't think I would have to experience. I wanted to tell him I love him and that we would make it through this. I wanted to tell him that no matter what happened, we would have each other, but I couldn't. I didn't know if I could keep my word and I refused to lie to him.

My phone hadn't charged much, but I disconnected it and reached for my keys.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Reyna offered.

“That's okay, Rey, this is something I have to do myself.”

She pulled me in for a hug again. “I love you, Izzy, and you'll be okay.”

“I love you, too. I'll see you in a bit.”

I grabbed my big jacket on the way out and closed the door behind me. I hailed a taxi as I reached downstairs and gave the driver Giovanni's address. I leaned my head against the window as I stared up at the dark sky.

A storm was brewing.