Taken by E.M. Leya
CHAPTER THIRTY
Faith glanced across the backyard to where Ben was talking to Noam. She loved these nights where they all gathered and spent the evening acting like they didn't battle the darkness in the world. It was good to get away from the team house and act like normal people for a change.
"You ready for school to start back up?" Trenton sat down beside her.
"It will be good to get back, but I miss you guys when I'm there." She hated that she'd chosen a school so far away, even if it was the best choice for her.
"Maybe once things settle down a bit here, Ben and I will fly out and see you. We've talked about traveling a bit." Trenton nudged the toe of his shoe against hers. "It will be good to see what kind of trouble you're getting into there."
"Who has time for trouble? Once classes start, I'm so tired I don't even have time to think about trouble, let alone get into any." She nodded toward Ben. "So things are going good for the two of you?"
"Really good. We're taking it day by day, but he's amazing. I can't imagine having to do this without him. We're taking things slow, but I think that's what we both need right now."
Faith nodded. "You mean sex?"
Trenton shrugged.
"For a long time, I was too young to really worry about what would happen when I was faced with that, but now that I'm older, I think about it more. I've dated, kissed a few guys, even made out a bit, but I haven't been brave enough to…" Her cheeks heated.
"Good. I'd have to kill a guy if he touched you. Of course, I'm sure Xander would beat me there to kill him."
Faith waved her hand. "You guys really are overprotective."
"That's not a bad thing." Trenton grinned. "But I know how you feel. Ben and I aren't pushing the sex issue either. I'm scared I'll freak out and ruin things between us. I still have nightmares sometimes."
"So do I. They don't always go away." She stared down at her shoes. "I was really young when it all happened to me, so I don't know if it's different in how our minds deal with things. For me, the rape was all I knew. I had no good experiences to compare it to, so in my mind, sex is painful and nasty. You've had good experiences, so maybe if you focus on those instead of the rape, it might make things easier for you to move forward." She was sounding more like Katie every day. Maybe she should have gone into psychology instead of medicine. "If he's okay with taking it slow, then there's nothing wrong with waiting until you're ready."
"He's amazing." Trenton stared across the yard at Ben.
Faith was glad they had each other. She'd worried Trenton would withdraw and hide in his apartment, which if it hadn't been for Ben, was exactly what he would have done. She still saw moments when he was tense or nervous, but Ben seemed to know when to be there, and a simple caress or whisper helped calm Trenton down before a panic attack set in. "You're not coming back to the team, are you?"
Trenton looked surprised. "Have they all been discussing that?" He looked around the yard at the rest of the team members.
"Not really. I mean, I heard Dad and Xander talking, but not the whole team. I think everyone expects you won't be back though. I mean, if you think about it, you've got the worst part of the job. You and Dad. You both sit, going through videos and searching out the abusers. You see and hear things I don't even want to imagine. That's hard enough for anyone, let alone someone who's been on the receiving end of the abuse." She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "I could do Xander's job, but not yours. It would be too much."
"Well, you're right, I'm done. I won't be back. I know it will leave them shorthanded, but I just can't bring myself to even attempt to do it. I know it would be too much. Besides, I'm tired. I was burning out long before I was taken. I've known for a while it was time for a change, I just never really knew what that change would be. Now, while I still don't know what I want to do, at least I have someone by my side to help me explore ideas."
Xander walked up and put a hand on Faith's shoulder. "You getting all the info from him to share with us later?"
Faith batted Xander's hand away. "I'm not your mole. Dig for your own info." She smiled up at him. As annoying as he could be, she loved Xander as if he really was her other father. He'd been amazing in helping her through the struggles in her life and stepping in so her dad didn't have to get involved in some of the more personal stuff. For some reason, Xander was just easier to talk to.
"If you're all wondering about my future plans, I don't really have any." Trenton shrugged. "I won't be returning to the team. I do know that much. It's more than I can handle. I was just telling Faith how burned out I was before, but after this, I just can't go back."
Xander took a seat beside them. "And everyone will understand that. We've been talking about either scaling back the number of stings we do or hiring new and younger people to come in and take over. We're all getting to the point we want to be home with our families more. Beau and Kasey want to be home more with their kids. I can't blame them for that. Carter is on the east coast more than here. Bryon and Becca are both talking more about easing back and doing some traveling. I think it's time for the whole team to reevaluate."
"It's hard not to feel like it's my fault everything is changing." Trenton sighed.
"It's not. You said yourself you were feeling burnout before it happened. I think we all have been. The passion isn't there. The drive to take all these motherfuckers out is still strong, but the energy level needed just isn't what it used to be. We're getting old. I mean, this shit was easy when we were in our thirties, but now…" Xander laughed. "We're old."
"Speak for yourself." Beau walked over. "How you feeling?" His gaze went to Trenton's shoulder, then leg, both of which were covered by his clothing.
"Okay. No issues." Trenton smiled. "Was just talking to Faith about all the trouble she has planned when she gets back."
Xander growled.
Faith laughed. "I'm clear across the country, Xan. You can't scare me with growls any longer."
"I'm convincing your father to move," Xander teased.
"Where are we moving?" Matt walked up.
Faith sighed. "Nowhere. You and Xander don't need to be spying on me anymore." She loved her fathers, but both of them could be a little overbearing. Hell, the whole team could be. "I'm too busy with classes to worry about dealing with you guys."
Matt kissed the top of her head before taking a seat on Xander's lap. "You know you miss us teasing you all the time."
She held up her phone. "Facetime. I still get to deal with you almost nightly."
Trenton smiled. "I'm going to miss this."
"You going somewhere?" Matt asked.
"Not going anywhere, just not coming back to the team," Trenton explained.
"That doesn't mean you're going to miss anything." Bryon walked over, his arm around Becca's waist. "It just means we get together more often like this." He waved his hand around the backyard as he came to stop beside Trenton. "You've been tired for a long time. I'm not surprised to hear you say you're done. We completely understand. Just promise us that you won't disappear on us completely."
Faith fought back the emotion that was building in her chest. She hated change but knew sometimes it had to happen. It would be so much easier if she was closer.
"I'll never disappear on you guys. Ben and I are staying at my apartment for now. We might do a little traveling while we both decide on our next steps." He glanced up as Ben and Noam walked over. He reached out, taking Ben's hand. "I don't know if I ever said it, but thank you for rescuing me. I know you guys might not have been the ones to come in, but you sent the SWAT Unit in. I owe you guys everything." He looked up at Ben. "Especially you."
Ben bent and kissed him.
"I know I've been having some issues getting back into the swing of things. I'm still not a hundred percent, but I'm working with Katie to get there. There's a lot of things I'm dealing with, some from recent weeks, and some from my past. I'm trying. I really am."
Faith stood and rushed to him, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you."
"I love you too." He brushed her hair back and smiled at her. "And I'm so proud of you. You have come so far. When I start to falter, I remember all you faced and I know if you could do it, so can I. But I'm going to keep you on speed dial for those times when I need a pep talk."
"You know I'll always answer." She hugged him again, the turned to Ben. "And you have my number and will call if you need anything. I know we've been focusing on Trenton, but you went through some shit too. Don't deal with it alone, okay?"
Ben smiled. "I'm working with Katie as well. Trenton and I are learning that talking things out sometimes really does help, but I promise if either of us needs anything, we'll call."
"Any of us," Noam insisted.
As the rest of the group wandered over, and kids started to beg for food, Faith smiled, looking at how her small family had grown into something so amazing. One day she'd be back, and when she was, she'd have her own kick-ass team, but even then, she'd have these guys. They were always going to be her family, and no matter what the future brought, they'd stand by one another forever.