Becoming by Jourdyn Kelly

CASS TOOK Adeep breath. Connor already didn’t like her. That certainly wasn’t going to get any better when she tells him what’s been going on.

“Are you okay?”

Rebecca’s sweet voice brought a smile to Cass’s face. “Yeah, I’m good. Just trying to figure out why I thought I wanted to do this.”

Rebecca scooted closer to Cassidy. The only thing she liked about this clunker of a truck was that the bench seat allowed her to be as close to Cassidy as she wanted to be. Well, that and the fact that the seat was much easier to have sex on than the bucket seats in her Mercedes. “Because you’re a good person and you thought hearing it from someone he knew would be easier.”

“He hates me, babe. What do you think he’s going to feel when he finds out Rand did all this to, um, be with me?”

“Betrayed by his wife. Look, you’re not going to become bosom buddies, but this is the right thing to do. And, I’m right here with you.”

Cass looked down at Rebecca’s breasts. “I only want to be bosom buddies with you.”

Rebecca laughed. “Stop looking at my tits, you fiend, and let’s go.”

Cass opened the door and hopped out. She then turned and helped her significantly shorter girlfriend out by lifting her from the waist. God, she loved this truck.

“Would you like me to talk to him?” Rebecca asked.

“Nah, it should be me, I think.” Yeah, she was all confident and shit until it came time to knock on the door. She decided to approach this with the same mentality she used when working out. Get in, get it done.

“Why are you hopping around?”

“Getting ready.” Cass bent her neck from side to side, satisfied by the cracking that resulted.

“Are you going to fight him?” Rebecca hid her smile behind her hand. There were times when Cassidy showed her age. Luckily, Rebecca found those moments very charming and cute.

“Only if I have to,” Cass mumbled but stopped bouncing on her toes. Okay, here we go. She raised her hand, hesitated, then knocked. “Maybe it’s too late,” she suggested after waiting a mere three seconds.

“Give him time, baby.”

Just then, the door opened, and Connor was there frowning at them.

“What are you doing here?” he asked irritably.

“Just a courtesy call, man. I—we—thought you should know that Rand is, um, in jail.”

“In jail? Are you crazy? She said she was going out with friends. What the hell did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

While the two exchanged words, Rebecca studied Connor. One thing stood out to her the most.

“Connor?” The arguing stopped at once and they both turned towards Rebecca. “Could we come in?”

“N-no. It’s late.”

Rebecca gave him the head tilt. “What happened to your eye?”

Connor’s hand involuntarily went to his face. “Basketball. Some dude elbowed me. Still made the shot.”

“Since when do you play basketball?” Cass asked crassly.

Rebecca discreetly touched Cassidy’s arm. “That must have hurt.”

Connor glared at Cass but shrugged. “I can take it.”

“I’m sure. Well, we just stopped by to let you know that the police will be here in the morning.” She saw his knuckles whiten as he gripped the doorknob.

“Why?”

Cass didn’t understand what the hell was going on, but she stayed quiet, letting Rebecca take the lead. Had she noticed something Cass didn’t?

“Because Miranda made accusations against you that they need to discuss with you.”

Connor’s face scrunched with confusion. “What kind of accusations?”

Cass felt Rebecca’s slight nudge. Great. Now she wants me to talk. “Connor, Rand came to me, hysterical, saying you were abusing her.”

“That’s fucking bullshit! I never touched her!” Connor practically snarled at Cass. “This is all your fault! It’s always about you!” He moved to close the door but was stopped by a delicate hand.

“Connor, we know she’s lying. And we’re pretty sure we know why. Blaming Cassidy for this doesn’t help any of us.” She took a chance and laid a hand on his arm. “Did she give you the black eye?”

“No!” He jerked his arm away and was ready to slam the door on them.

“When my ex’s beatings left marks that were visible to others,” Rebecca called out right before the door clicked shut, “she would tie me to the bed to ensure I didn’t go out in public.”

Cass’s heart constricted at the image of a battered Rebecca tied to the bed. It was one more piece of Rebecca’s past, and Cass hated it. But it also had Connor opening the door back up. She couldn’t wrap her brain around the fact that Rand was the one abusing Connor. She would never have suspected that. Hell, even when she saw the black eye, it didn’t occur to her. Rebecca really had seen something that Cass completely missed. Thank God she’s here.

“You were?”

“Abused, yes. For many years. So, I get your hesitation, but you need to tell the police.”

“You don’t get shit! Look, I’m sorry about what happened to you, but I’m a man. Do you have any idea what my life would be like if my friends found out that…” Connor looked around. “Come in.”

Cass followed Rebecca in, trying not to look Connor in the eye. For some reason, she thought if he saw any kind of sympathy coming from her, he would take it as pity. The truth was, it wasn’t pity she felt, but anger that she hadn’t seen this before. She knew Rand and Connor. Went to their wedding. She never saw a damn thing. Was it because Connor was a man? Was she so “unjaded” as Aunt Wills suggested that she couldn’t imagine a man being abused by a woman?

“Real men don’t get abused by women. That’s what people are going to say.” Connor gestured to the couch, opting to sit in his recliner.

Rebecca sat down in the middle of the couch so she could be close to Cassidy. “When we told you of Miranda’s accusations, you were very clear that you never touched her.”

“Never.”

“She hit you, you’re bigger than her, and yet you never once hit her back. I’d say that’s a real man,” Cass suggested with sincerity.

“Do you think my male friends will say that?” Connor scoffed. “They’ll call me a fucking pussy. It’s not the same. There’s no sympathy for men who allow women to beat them.”

Annoyed with the term, Rebecca nearly pointed out just how tough a pussy could be. Try getting a baby out of a damn penis. But she refrained.

“Do you think it’s easy for women to admit they’re being abused?” Rebecca asked softly. “I was a strong, independent woman when I met my ex. I made the horrible mistake of getting involved with her despite my reservations. Then I was stuck. I couldn’t tell anyone. How in the hell could I face people and tell them what I had gotten myself into? There are so many reasons we don’t tell, Connor. There’s the fear of being hurt even more or not being believed. Then there’s the victim-shaming, the embarrassment, and in some cases, women have no other alternative than to stay. But when I look back, my biggest regret is that I didn’t open my mouth before it was too late.”

Connor sat up in his chair, elbows on his knees. “How’d you get out?”

“She died,” Rebecca answered simply.

“Did you…?”

“Kill her? No. She had a heart attack while beating me. We both almost lost our lives that night.” Funny how that was getting easier and easier to say. “Listen, I can see that you care for Miranda as well as your reputation. But at what cost?”

Connor looked at the floor, contemplating. “I know who you are, Mistress,” he said at length, still not looking at them. “After we had lunch together, Rand became convinced that you were manipulating Cass into being with you. It was all she ever talked about. She was obsessed.” He looked up finally, eyes locking with Cass’s. “Obsessed with you.”

“I gave her no reason to be, man. You gotta believe that. I love Rebecca. She’s it for me.”

“What about your past with Rand?”

“If she told you we slept together, she lied.” Cass went on to tell Connor the truth about what happened between her and Rand that night when they were teenagers, surprised when he laughed.

“To hear her tell it, you two had a torrid affair. It’s why I never really liked you.” He shook his head. “Anyway, she made it her mission to find out more about you, Rebecca. She would follow you. One day, she came home so excited that she found dirt on you. She followed you to the club, took pictures. Said she was going to go to Cass once she had evidence that people were going into your room.” He laughed mirthlessly. “Can you imagine her surprise when she saw Cass going in there?”

Rebecca glanced over at Cassidy. Well, that was one mystery solved.

Connor caught the exchange that told him there was more he didn’t know. It occurred to him then that he still had no idea why his wife was currently in jail instead of him. “Hang on, if Rand is running around accusing me of abuse, why is she the one in jail? Can’t possibly be for lying.”

“Vandalism,” Cass offered.

“Vandalism? My wife? I think you better start from the beginning.”

“I tried telling you before. Are you going to listen this time?”

“Cassidy,” Rebecca admonished softly.

“Sorry.” Cass inhaled and blew it out slowly. “Okay. Like I said before, Rand showed up at my house acting very strange. Yeah, she was hysterical, but also kinda off. She told me you were using your, um, lifestyle to abuse her. I gotta say, man, I couldn’t see you doing that, but what choice did I have than to believe her? It’s happened before.” Cass risked a quick look at Rebecca.

Connor nodded. He understood Cass wanting to believe her best friend. It wasn’t any secret that there was no love lost between the two of them, so who did he expect her to side with?

“How did you figure out she was lying?”

Another look passed between Cass and Rebecca. “She wouldn’t give me details when I tried to get her to open up about it. Then, she, uh…”

“She came on to Cassidy,” Rebecca finished for Cassidy.

Connor barked out a mirthless laugh. “Of course, she did.”

“Yeah, well, that’s when I asked her if she was lying to me. She admitted she was. I threw her out, told her I was done with her.”

Connor’s brows rose. “Don’t tell me she tore your house up after that.”

“No, she threw a brick through the window at my place,” Rebecca said. “Along with a note saying she knew I was Mistress.”

“Damn.”

“She needs help, Connor.”

He looked over at Cass. “And it’s my responsibility to get her help?” He pointed at his eye. “This is what happened when I told her she needed help.”

“It’s not your responsibility to help her, Connor. But help yourself. If you press charges, she could be mandated to get therapy.” Doubt clouded the man’s face. If only she could get his ego out of the way. “It wasn’t until very recently that I came to understand that Samantha’s, my ex, death wasn’t my fault. But a part of me will always wonder what could have happened if I had come forward. Would she have gotten help?” Rebecca shook her head. “You don’t have to live with that burden, Connor. You don’t have to live like this. Take the chance that I didn’t. Please.”

Connor watched Cass pick up Rebecca’s hand and kiss it gently. He stood and walked over to a desk in the far side of the room. Digging a key out of his pocket, he opened a drawer and took out a manila envelope. When he sat back down, he waved it in front of him.

“Divorce papers. I filed a couple of weeks ago when I came close to hitting back.” Connor caught Rebecca’s gaze. “I don’t know if I can do this. You know, the only reason I went to your club was because she needed something “more” out of sex. I loved her enough to try anything. Of course, when she told me our roles wouldn’t be exactly what I thought, I was hesitant.”

“But you did it anyway.”

He shrugged. “At first, I thought it could be exciting. Giving up some of that control. Thing is, she was extremely aggressive from the beginning. The first time it got physical beyond the sex and BDSM she wanted to do things I wasn’t comfortable with. When that information gets out?” He shook his head.

“I have a friend at the police department. He helped me years ago. I can give him a call, have him come here to talk to you himself. If we ask, I’m sure we can convince him to keep it quiet,” Rebecca suggested.

“That’ll last for as long as it takes to get a trial going, right?” Connor opened the envelope. “Maybe I’ll travel. I’ve always wanted to see the world.” He took the contents out of the envelope and handed them over to Rebecca.

Flashes of the horrors she went through with Samantha ran through Rebecca’s mind when she saw the photos. Unable to look at any more, she handed them over to Cassidy.

“Jesus.” Cass swallowed down the bile that threatened to come up. How could Rand do this? “You documented the abuse.”

“Insurance. Rand tells me all the time that if I tried to leave her, she would make sure I lost everything. She would do exactly what she did with you. Accuse me. She said no one would believe me if I told them the truth. She was right. I never planned on using those unless I absolutely had to.” Connor addressed Rebecca again. “Your friend? I’ll talk to only him. Think he can get her sent to a hospital or something?”

“I think he’ll do his best.” Rebecca gave him a small smile.

Cass, on the other hand, was sure of one thing. Miranda would fight tooth and nail before going to a mental hospital.

“You’re not going to press charges?” she asked handing him back the photos.

“I’ll tell my story. But no trial. I don’t want to drag her parents through that shit. If she doesn’t fight spending time in a hospital to get help and signs the divorce papers, I won’t pursue jail time. After that, I wash my hands of this. Of her.” Connor rose from his chair, ready for this night to be over.

Rebecca took his cue and stood as well, bringing Cassidy up with her. “You’re doing a very brave thing, Connor.”

He grunted. “I’m not doing this to be brave. I don’t want to be the stepping stone for other men to feel safe to admit they are being abused. I just want it over.”

“The bruises and scars will fade, but it’ll never stray far from your mind.” Rebecca looked up at Cassidy and smiled. “Until you find someone who takes it away.”

Connor chuckled. It was a weird feeling to smile and laugh. It felt as though he hadn’t done that in a long time. “As great as I think you two are together, I think I’m going to focus on myself for a while.”

“I have the number for a terrific therapist if you’re interested,” Rebecca smiled. “She can even do sessions over Skype no matter where you are in the world.”

“She?”

“I’m sure she could refer you to a very qualified male colleague if you prefer.”

“Nah, it’s good. I’ll, uh, think about it.” He held his hand out to Rebecca, surprised by how strong the elegant hands were. “Thank you. Both of you. You had no reason or responsibility to come here and give me a heads up. Especially after the way I’ve treated you,” he told Cass.

“Forget it. Rand gave you a good reason not to like me.” Cass lowered her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t see what was going on. I should have known something.”

Connor shook his head. “There was no way I was going to let you see what she was doing to me. Hell, I denied it to myself until I couldn’t anymore.” He chucked Cass on the shoulder amicably. “Don’t worry too much about this shit. I know what I said earlier, but this isn’t on you.”

“Yeah.” Cass didn’t believe that, but now wasn’t the time or place to argue. “Keep me posted if you can?”

Connor agreed, thanking them again before escorting them out.

Cass stood outside of Rand and Connor’s home and breathed in the chilled air. Everything still seemed so normal—except how she felt.

“What now?”

Rebecca looked up at Cassidy, whose eyes were closed. The fatigue was obvious. So was the confusion. Rebecca knew when this all sank in, it would be difficult for Cassidy to accept the truth about Miranda. She anticipated some anger and sadness and silently vowed to be there for Cassidy every step of the way.

“Now we go home.”