Holding Her Heart by Melissa Tereze

24

Eden leantagainst the window frame, looking down onto the city. Considering she should have been soaking up the sun in Spain this morning, she couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be. Because she’d woken up in Aster’s arms, enveloped by her scent, their legs tangled. If she had to rate this on a scale of her greatest experiences, it was up there at number one.

She sipped her coffee, smiling as Aster turned on the shower. Not only was this morning entirely different to anything she’d ever known, but Eden couldn’t quite believe that it was a woman she’d curled up against last night. Over the years, she’d wondered if her life would ever feel complete without someone by her side. She knew in her heart that she longed for something more, a love so intense that it left her breathless, but as the years passed, it didn’t seem possible. As she aged, she considered whether she’d always be alone. But this morning, here and now, her chest swelled.

Eden settled on the window seat, pulling her knees up to her chest. As she closed her eyes, her mind cast back to last night. How Aster had been patient as they explored one another. The way in which she made Eden feel at ease with every stroke of her fingertips. One moment, her heart was almost beating out of her chest, but the next, calmness washed over her. It was incredible how things could feel so different with another woman.

And then the thought of sneaking into the shower with Aster suddenly flashed in Eden’s mind. Was it possible to be at such a place yet? Eden smirked. She was about to find out. She got to her feet, rolling her head on her shoulders as a little courage built in her chest. From last night, Eden knew Aster wasn’t shy. And as luck would have it, Eden didn’t appear to be either.

As she placed her cup on the kitchen island, Eden curled her fingers beneath the hem of her T-shirt.

And then a knock on the door had her frozen in place. Who the hell had bypassed the buzzer on the main entrance? She snuck towards the door, peering through the peephole. Fuck! It was her mother.

Eden didn’t need this right now. Of course the time would come to have a conversation with her mum about her newfound sexuality, but did it have to be this morning? Aster was here, and Eden really needed her to not be. Angela would frighten her away within a second.

There was another knock.

“Eden, I know you’re home. Your car is parked in its spot.”

Eden clenched her jaw, fisting her hands. If she didn’t answer, Angela would let herself in with the spare key. It hadn’t occurred to Eden that giving her mum a key would ever be a problem, but now the realisation was beginning to dawn on her.

“Eden!”

“Alright! I’m coming!” Eden unlocked the door and swung it open, gritting her teeth as she stared back at her mother. “What?”

“We need to talk.”

“No, Mum. Not right now.”

Angela frowned as she disregarded Eden’s wishes, her heels clicking on the floor when she slipped inside. “Yes. Now. I’ve been going out of my mind all night.”

Eden snorted as she slammed her front door shut. “Why? Because you’re so distraught by the fact your daughter is dating a woman?”

Angela spun on her heel; her eyes narrowed. “You’re not alone, are you?”

“This is my place, Mum. Who I have here is none of your business. It’s 8 a.m. for God’s sake!”

“So, she’s keeping you from work? Because you’d usually be at the office by now. This is already a mistake!” Angela threw up her hands. And then she started to pace. Pacing was never good. It usually involved a lot of ranting. “I mean, how can you possibly be dating a woman?”

“Quite easily,” Eden said. “And no, she’s not keeping me from work. In case you forgot, I’m supposed to be in Spain.”

“None of this makes any sense, Eden. I just…I don’t understand.”

Eden exhaled a breath. There was no use arguing with her mother. They could be civil. She moved towards Angela and guided her to the couch. “What exactly don’t you understand?”

“You’ve never dated a woman.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you would have told me.”

Okay, Angela had a point. Eden would have told her. But that didn’t mean that this had to be difficult to understand. It was straightforward as far as Eden was concerned.

“And I don’t know. It just seems…off.”

“Off or wrong?” Eden quirked an eyebrow. She’d never thought for one second that her mum would be so against this. “Because you were perfectly happy when Blair met Dom.”

“It’s different.”

“How so?”

“Blair isn’t my child. I may love her as though she is, but she’s not. Youare. And that is where my priorities lie. With you and wanting what’s best for you.”

Eden opened her mouth to speak, but she wasn’t sure she had any comeback. Did it really matter who gave Eden what was best? Did gender really matter? It hadn’t felt that way last night when Aster treated her with respect in the bedroom.

“In my opinion,” Aster said, her voice filtering through the air, “what’s best for Eden is whatever she decides, and what I have between my legs shouldn’t play a part in that.” Eden and Angela turned at the same time. Aster stood towel drying her hair in the doorway of the bathroom. “And I completely understand your uncertainty, any parent would probably feel the same way, but Eden makes me incredibly happy. I’d hope she felt the same way about me.”

Eden smiled, tears pricking her eyes. “I do.”

“When I met your daughter, I didn’t realise I was even looking for a relationship. I had no idea the impact she would have on me from working with her.”

Angela cleared her throat. “She’s a successful businesswoman.”

“I know. And I love watching her around the office. Her confidence is pretty astounding. She knows what she wants, and I think her success is proof of that.”

“What exactly can you offer her?”

Eden’s heart sank. The tone in Angela’s voice didn’t go unnoticed by either of them. That was clear in the way Aster’s eyebrow rose.

“Support. Someone to come home to and talk about her day with. A shoulder if she’s having a bad day. Trust, understanding, compassion, space when Eden needs it…and one day, love. The same things any couple would or should offer one another.”

Eden glanced in her mum’s direction. Angela simply stared Aster down.

“I’m not sure what you think the point of me being here is, but I know it’s nothing you could be thinking. I don’t want Eden because of who she is in business. I want her because of how she makes me feel when we’re together.”

“And what does your mother think of this? You must be what…in your early twenties?”

“I’m flattered, but I’m 32. And my mother would be thrilled I’d found someone like Eden. I know she would. But since she’s no longer around, I don’t have the pleasure of introducing them to one another.” Aster cleared her throat, eyeing Eden momentarily. A tear fell down her cheek as she smiled. “I should probably head off. Leave you two to discuss everything.” Aster dragged her hair up into a wet ponytail, turning her back. Eden’s heart broke for her. But then Aster turned back suddenly, another tear gathering at her jawline. “I know what I want, but Eden, if this is too much for you…if it’s going to turn your family against you, I completely get it, okay?”

Eden got to her feet, frowning. “N-no.”

“Babe, just give it some time,” Aster said. “I don’t want you to come to any rash decisions. Talk things through with your mum, and when you know, you know.”

Eden lowered her head, her eyes closing as she fought back the urge to cry. Why did her mum have to come here this morning and ruin everything?

“Well, that was quite the speech.” Angela sat back, crossing her legs. “Almost rehearsed.”

“Can you leave please?” Eden pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I’m not finished talking to you.”

Eden laughed. “Oh, you are. I’m not listening to another word you have to say.”

“Excuse me?”

“Leave, Mum. I can’t deal with this right now. And change the attitude; it’s appalling.”

Angela got to her feet, facing Eden. “You heard her. Give it some time.”

“Do you want me to be alone? Do you want me to just exist between here and the office?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then what do you want? Because considering you’ve always told me you want me to be happy, you’re making it very hard to do so this morning.”

“I’m just not convinced this is what you want. You think it is because you see how happy Dom makes Blair, but she had a terrible time with Barrett.”

“So?”

“So, you’re not a beaten housewife, my love. You don’t need to find love in the first person who shows an interest.”

Eden nodded. Not only was Angela insulting her, but she was insulting Blair, too. “You can leave now.”

“Eden—”

“I’ll make sure I let Blair know how you feel about her. And Dom. Which is a shame because they’re both very fond of you. As was I. But standing here this morning, I can’t fathom why.”

Angela’s forehead creased, the realisation of what she’d said now sinking in. “That wasn’t what I meant.”

“Sure sounded that way to me.” Eden moved towards the front door and opened it. She may have been unsure about her mother’s reaction, but this was just sad. “You know, it was Blair who told me you’d be okay with this. She was the one who encouraged me to go after what I wanted. After watching how her mum treated her, disowning Blair, I thought I would have a totally different experience. Seems I was wrong.”

“I-I don’t know what you want from me, Eden.”

“Your love and support would have been nice, but it looks like I only receive that when it suits you.” Eden tilted her head towards the outside corridor. “Leave. I’m done.”

Angela opened her mouth to speak, but Eden held up a hand.

“Leave. I won’t ask you again.”

“As you wish. But we’re not done with this conversation.” Angela stepped out into the corridor, fixing her cerise pink jacket. Eden couldn’t put her finger on the look in her mother’s eyes, but it left her feeling cold.

Eden barked a laugh. “Oh, we are. Don’t bother calling unless you change your attitude and your opinion. Because this, what I have here, isn’t ending. Like it or don’t. I’m not interested.”

Before Angela could respond, Eden closed the door. She needed a moment to breathe before she tackled everything Aster had said. While she loved most of it, she hated the idea of Aster thinking she was uncertain. This morning, Eden was more certain than she had ever been in her life.

Go in there and kiss her like there’s no tomorrow.

* * *

Aster sat perched on the edge of Eden’s bed, holding the hoodie she’d borrowed last night. She lifted it up to her nose, smiling against the material as she inhaled. Eden’s perfume wasn’t overbearing, it was just right. A slight fragrance that didn’t blow your head off. It was just there—calming and delicate—kinda like Eden herself. But that calmness was likely to be out of the window now after her little speech in the living room. Aster knew Eden wouldn’t have appreciated anything she said; it wasn’t her business after all. It was between Eden and her mother.

She cleared her throat and got to her feet, folding Eden’s hoodie and placing it neatly on the bed. Aster would love to take it with her, a memento of sorts, but it would only remind her of the one woman she knew had been off the table from day one. Last night may have been everything to Aster, but she feared the memories of touching something so precious, someone who meant far more than Aster thought, would keep her awake at night. This wasn’t supposed to be their first morning together. It was supposed to be all encompassing. They should have been lounging around, kissing one another and making plans.

The bedroom door opened slowly, Eden’s dark eyes coming into focus as Aster lifted her head. She smiled weakly, lifting her phone from the bed. “Sorry, I didn’t really want to leave while your mum was in the living room. I already feel shit enough.”

Eden frowned. “Why?”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did out there. I should have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business. I’m sorry.”

Eden closed the bedroom door and approached Aster. When she took her hand, Aster’s body tingled. “I’m glad you said what you did.”

“You are?”

“If Mum was unsure before, she’s certainly not now.” Eden pressed her body to Aster, smiling into a kiss. “You stood your ground, and I admire you for that.”

“I needed her to know that she has a wonderful daughter. But I’m not sure she’ll go for it.”

“That’s a problem my mum will have to deal with herself. And I told her that.”

“Eden, are you sure you’re willing to potentially fall out with her over this? Over me? I’d like to think I’m absolutely worth it, but what if I’m not? What if in a week or a month you regret choosing me in all of this, and then it’s ruined everything with your family?”

“I very much doubt that’s going to happen, Aster.”

Eden had a sparkle in her eyes that Aster couldn’t imagine seeing from anyone else. Bright, yet so dark. Inviting, yet a little apprehensive. Eden’s eyes always told a story, but this morning, Aster was struggling to read her completely. “Whatever you want to do, okay?”

“What I want is to keep doing this with you,” Eden whispered, her arms wrapping around Aster’ waist. “This morning…my God!”

“Did you feel okay?” Aster asked. It wasn’t the kind of conversation she wanted to be having, but Eden and how she was feeling meant a lot to her. “I mean, after last night. Did you wake up wishing it hadn’t happened?”

“Quite the opposite actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Aster couldn’t fight back the smirk she was wearing. Knowing Eden had enjoyed last night as much as she had herself…well, it helped a lot.

“I sat with my coffee this morning wondering what the hell took me so long.”

“It’s a big change in your life.”

Eden’s hands slid up the back of Aster’s T-shirt as she grinned. “Still, I feel like I’ve missed out on too much. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t plan to dwell on it for too long. That time could be spent doing much more exciting things.”

“Now that I could get on board with.”

“Good. Because I was hoping we could spend the day together. And the night…”

Aster winced. She would love to spend every moment with Eden, but she had to visit her dad first. “The night I can definitely do, and I can’t wait, but I have to head to my dad’s. Lily called a few minutes ago. He’s just been discharged, and I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“That’s great. I’m glad they’ve discharged him.”

“Me too…I think.” Aster pulled Eden down into a seated position on the bed. Was her dad in the right frame of mind to be home? “I hope he hasn’t convinced them to discharge him.”

“They wouldn’t do that if he wasn’t ready.”

“You don’t know my dad. He’s very persistent.”

Eden nodded, squeezing Aster’s hand. “Well, you’ll know when you get there. Maybe you should stay for a few days.”

“Lily will be there. She lives with him.”

“Right. Yes.”

“He can’t wait to meet you, by the way. I told him all about how gorgeous you are yesterday when I visited the hospital.”

Eden blushed, shaking her head. “I think he’s going to be disappointed when he meets me then. I’m really nothing special, Aster.”

Aster lifted Eden’s hand, kissing her knuckles. “Well, you are to me. And if I think you are, my dad will think so too. I can’t remember a time when I introduced him to anyone as important as you. Actually, I never have. Nobody seemed worth it in the past.”

“I’d love to meet him. But I don’t know when the right time for that will be. He’s your priority, and I’ve never done the whole meeting the parents thing before.”

“I’m happy to introduce you to him whenever you’re comfortable with that. There’s no rush, so don’t stress about it.”

“Okay. Maybe once he’s feeling up to visitors?”

Aster leaned in, her lips lingering against Eden’s when she kissed her slowly. “I can’t wait for him to meet you.”

“If he’s like you, I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

“No, you really don’t need to worry. He’s great.” Aster pulled back, aware that her hands were itching to roam Eden’s thighs. “Do you think things will be okay with your family?”

Eden shrugged. “Right now, I don’t care. I have much more interesting people on my mind. Meaning you. You’re people.”

“Good to know.” Aster sat for a moment, enjoying the intimacy of Eden’s bedroom. When she arrived yesterday, she hadn’t for one second imagined she would wake up here. But she had, and it felt incredible. “Now, should we have breakfast before I head off?”

“Yes. I’ll cook dinner tonight. Just give me an idea of what time you’ll be back, and I’ll have it in the oven ready for us.”

“That sounds like the perfect night to me.”

“Me too.”