My Ten-Year Crush by Olivia Spring

Chapter Twenty-One

It was funny. For as long as I could remember, friends and colleagues always came to me for advice. Somehow they saw me as the logical one. The woman who was calm in a crisis and knew what to say or do. And often they were right. But not today. Right now I wasn’t feeling calm at all. My heart was beating at about five hundred miles an hour and my stomach was churning with a mixture of nerves and excitement.

These nerves were clearly caused by all of the expectations I’d put on things happening today. I couldn’t help it, though. It was like so much was building up to this moment. After yesterday, I didn’t want to have another missed opportunity.

Putting that kind of pressure on myself wasn’t good, though. Somehow I needed to get out of my own head and try to relax. Follow the advice that I’d give to other people and allow things to happen naturally.

There was a knock at my flat door. I took a deep breath before opening it.

‘Hey, Bells!’ Mike stepped in all smiles and of course looking drop-dead gorgeous. I felt my knees buckle and reminded myself to keep calm. He was wearing grey tracksuit bottoms and a vest top, which showcased his beautiful biceps again. He opened his arms wide, inviting me in for a hug. Heaven help me.

‘Hey, you.’ I wrapped my arms around his broad back and rested my head on his shoulder. He smelt all fresh and woody. I didn’t know what shower gel and aftershave he used, but I loved it. I wondered how long was reasonable to hold onto him before I let go. I held on for another minute or so before pulling away. Any longer and I would’ve melted into a puddle. ‘That’s a big bag. What you got in there?’

‘Well…’ He followed me into the kitchen. ‘I thought I’d get a selection of drinks, so there’s two different bottles of Chardonnay to choose from, gin, a bottle of tequila and some Bacardi Breezers: for old times’ sake…’

‘Amazing, thanks! Are you trying to get me drunk?’ I rested my finger on my chin.

‘Let’s face it, Bells, if I wanted to do that, it wouldn’t take much. You only have to take one sip of something alcoholic and you’re tipsy.’

‘Oi!’ I poked his solid abs. Didn’t take me long to give in to the temptation to want to touch him. ‘I’m not quite that bad. Not sure I’ll be drinking the tequila, though…’

‘Fair enough. But it’s here if you change your mind. I also got cheese balls and a cheesecake for dessert. The selection was a bit limited.’

‘No bread and butter pudding, then?’

‘Nope. And to be honest, you ruined me with your bread and butter pudding. I don’t know how you made yours, but nothing I’ve ever tasted since has been as good.’

That used to be Mike’s favourite dessert. Thanks to Melody’s bread obsession, there was always plenty in the kitchen when we all lived together, as well as butter and milk, and although I usually had to buy the cream, it didn’t take long for me to whip up. I hadn’t made one in ages.

‘High praise, thanks! Food’s almost ready, so I’m just going to set the table.’

‘Oooh, look at us being all grown up and eating at a table. Makes a change from juggling plates on our laps on the sofa or our beds. Let me help you.’

As we laid out the cutlery, Mike and I chatted easily. Earlier he’d played basketball with some friends and was in good spirits. I was so glad it wasn’t awkward. In fact, it was almost as if yesterday had never happened. I just hoped that didn’t mean his feelings had changed…

After pouring the wine, I dished out the food, putting a portion in a Tupperware container to freeze for Cassie to taste the next time she visited, then brought the plates to the table. We both got stuck in. It turned out pretty well, so it wasn’t long before we’d devoured every mouthful.

‘So, now that we’ve lined our stomachs, I’m going to have something a bit stronger. Seeing as I’m working tomorrow and need a clear head, the earlier I drink, the more time I’ll have to get it out of my system. Fancy one?’

‘What are you having?’

‘Do you even need to ask?’

‘Tequila?’

‘Yep!’ He smiled. He reached in the shopping bag for the lemon he’d bought and opened the cupboards, looking for the salt.

‘Okay, go on, then. I’ll have one shot and that’s it.’ A feeling of déjà vu washed over me as I recalled the last time I’d drunk tequila. I quickly pushed the thought away and helped Mike carry everything into the living room. After putting it all on the coffee table, we both sat on the sofa.

Mike sliced up the lemon and I sprinkled the salt onto the back of my hand in anticipation.

‘Ready?’ he poured the tequila into the glasses.

‘As I’ll ever be…’

He counted to three and we both downed it in one.

‘Nope.’ I winced. ‘Still not a fan.’

‘Some things never change,’ said Mike. ‘And actually, I think that’s a good thing.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. I mean, not for everything, obviously, but for the important things.’ Mike looked me deeply in the eyes. ‘Like this. Us. It’s like no time has passed. It doesn’t feel like we haven’t seen each other for so long. These past couple of weeks have been great. I’ve really missed this. Being with you.’

My heart flipped. It was like he’d reached into my brain, read my thoughts and said exactly what I was thinking.

‘I feel the same. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you.’ I held Mike’s gaze and the corner of his mouth turned up.

‘Can I ask you a question, Bells?’

‘Course.’

‘What happened… with us? Why didn’t you keep in touch? Was it because of what happened at your parents’? On the night of our graduation? Because I’ve regretted that ever since it happened. I wish I hadn’t—’

‘It’s okay,’ I jumped in. My stomach sank. It wasn’t okay. It had ruined me. But I didn’t want him to dredge it up again. ‘You said it was a mistake, so let’s forget about it.’ Talking about what had happened would just reopen the wounds. I didn’t know what had changed and why Mike hadn’t liked me before but seemed to like me now, and it was probably better that it stayed that way.

‘No!’ Mike grabbed my hands. ‘You’ve got it all wrong. When I said it was a mistake, I didn’t mean kissing you. I meant the way it happened. You were tipsy and I didn’t want you to regret it. I didn’t want to feel like I was taking advantage of you. You were too precious for that. If we were going to move from being best friends to something more, I wanted it to be special.’

What?

My head spun as I attempted to make sense of what he’d just said.

‘I’m confused. So, you wanted to kiss me?’

‘Kiss you? I wanted to do a lot more than kiss you, Bells! I wanted to make love to you. Run my tongue over every inch of you…’ Hearing those words sent shockwaves in between my legs. ‘But you weren’t Rebecca or one of my silly one-night stands. I couldn’t risk fucking things up. If I was going to cross that line with you, that would need to be it. I’d need to take myself off the market. For good. And I’ll be honest, I was also worried about whether I was ready. Mainly because of what had happened with my parents.’

‘Do you mean their divorce?’

‘Yeah. They got together too young. They met at seventeen, were married and had me by the time they were nineteen. Dad was Mum’s first. I think that not being with anyone else was one of the reasons she cheated and eventually left. She felt like she’d settled down too early and missed out on life. So I was worried that we were too young to get serious as well. I also thought about my friends, the accident and my promise to get out there, travel and live life… I just had too much going on in my head. So I had to leave. Before I did something that would hurt you and ruin what we had.’

‘But you did hurt me.’ I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had to tell the truth. ‘When you walked out, I felt like you’d rejected me. That you left because you didn’t want me. Because you thought I wasn’t good enough. Like you were comparing me to Rebecca and all the others and I fell short.’

‘Oh God, no, Bella! No!’ He shook his head and squeezed my hands tighter. ‘That wasn’t it at all. Nobody else could even come close to you. But I didn’t know how to deal with everything. How to be with you and still do all the things I felt I needed to do to honour my friends’ memory without screwing things up. And then when Rebecca came round, it was as if I’d been given a way out.’

‘But if you thought I was so special, why did you sleep with Rebecca just hours after we kissed?’

‘That’s what you thought? Fuck. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t like that at all. We talked and by the time we’d finished, it was after four in the morning. I fell asleep—fully clothed—then woke up late. I didn’t do anything with her. When I said I saw it as a way out, I meant I thought it’d be easier to just go away with her. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with my feelings. I could just tick a place I’d always wanted to go to off my list and try and figure out what to do later. But it didn’t work. I spent the whole time thinking about you. We argued constantly, mainly because she was frustrated that I wasn’t sleeping with her. I ended up moving out of the hotel into a cheap hostel. I should never have gone in the first place. It was the worst holiday I’ve ever had. Me leaving that night was never about our kiss being a mistake because of you. It was about me and my issues.’

All. This. Time.

All this time I’d thought that it was because there was something wrong with me. And now I found out that he’d actually wanted us to be together just as much as I had.

Shit.

I’d wasted ten years. Ten years of friendship, or maybe more, had been thrown down the drain. Never to be regained. A decade of questioning my worth. Always thinking twice about taking chances because I was afraid of being rejected.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I said.

‘I tried! When I came round the next morning, I wanted to talk about it, but you pushed me away. I tried when I came back—I wanted to tell you that Rebecca and I had broken up, for good, but you never wanted to meet. Why?’

My stomach plummeted. He was right. He had tried. Several times and I’d pushed him away.

‘I couldn’t face hearing the reasons why you didn’t want to be with me.’ I hung my head. It all sounded so stupid now. Never had I wished I’d spoken up about my feelings more so than at this moment. If I had, we could have solved this. I had to take my share of the blame.

‘You really don’t get it, do you? I was crazy about you. To me, you were perfect and that was the problem. Bells, you were always the gold standard. Every woman I ever dated during uni never lasted long because they weren’t you. Even in the past ten years, travelling to different countries and meeting so many different people, I thought that I could find someone to help get you out of my head, but I never did.’

Oh my goodness. He felt the same.

‘I thought it was just me. I tried. I really tried to stop thinking about you, but you were just always there.’ I exhaled. I’d wanted to say that for so long but had been too afraid to admit it.

‘I had no idea. I just thought you’d moved on and forgotten about me. I was so surprised when Melody told me you were single. I thought there was no way you’d still be available. It’s you, Bella.’ He leant forward. ‘It’s always been you. I’ve liked you since the first time we met at freshers’ week. But back then you were with Lance and I’d just got together with Rebecca, and then we became friends. And so many times, so many times I wanted to kiss you. To hold your hand, to make love to you. But you were just so perfect. So special. I couldn’t fuck it up.’

For as long as I could remember I’d been afraid to make the first move with Mike, but not anymore. We’d wasted enough time and I wasn’t going to waste another second.

‘It’s not too late,’ I said as we both edged closer, our faces now just inches away. I could feel his sweet breath on my lips. My heart thundered against my chest, desire pulsing through my veins. After years of waiting, things were finally about to happen. Properly.

Mike’s mouth crushed onto mine. Those lips. They were just as soft and delicious as I’d remembered. He slid his tongue into my mouth gently and every inch of my body sparked. I’d fantasised about kissing him properly so many times over the past decade, but my imagination didn’t even come close to how good this felt. It was everything I’d dreamt of and more. How had I survived this long without feeling his lips?

Our kisses became more frenzied with every second. Heat and pent-up sexual frustration flooded our lips. We’d held back our feelings for so long. It was like they were locked in a cage and now they’d been set free, we couldn’t pull them back.

I tugged at his vest, pulled it over his head, then ran my hands all over his firm, muscular chest. Damn. Mike pushed me back gently on the sofa and straddled me. I’d wanted him badly before, but now I felt him pressed against my body, a whole new level of desire and urgency hit me.

‘I want you, Mike,’ I panted.

Mike lifted my top over my head, tossed it on the floor, sat up and looked at me, lying there in just my bra and jeans. ‘God, Bells. You have no idea how beautiful you are. Everything you’re feeling, I feel the same. But I’m worried because… there’s something…’

‘Shh…’ I pressed my finger firmly on his lips. ‘We’ve wasted too much time overthinking and worrying. We’ve got a second chance to have something special. Let’s not waste it. Simple question: do you want me or not?’

‘Of course! So much. It’s just I…’ Mike paused.

We’d both agreed we wanted to take things further, so that was all that mattered right now. I was tired of overanalysing everything. Always being sensible. Always looking ahead. For once, I just didn’t want to think. I wanted to live in the moment. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I couldn’t let anything get in the way again. I didn’t want to spend another decade filled with regrets. We had to just go for it.

I pushed Mike back on the sofa, then stood up. I unfastened my bra and whipped it off before sliding my knickers and jeans slowly down my legs. I pulled them off my ankles and stood there. Naked. I was completely vulnerable and open to more rejection, but I didn’t care.

‘Jesus, Bells.’ Mike’s eyes burned with desire. ‘I knew you had a gorgeous body, but…’

Before I could catch my breath, he jumped off the sofa and scooped me up into his arms.

‘I really want to bend you over this sofa and make love to you or have you up against that wall, but if you’re sure you want to do this, I’m going to do things properly.’ He carried me towards the bedroom.

‘I don’t care where we do it. I just want you inside me.’

He kicked the door open, laid me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. Mike started kissing my neck before trailing his tongue across my shoulder, then down to my breasts. He began circling my nipples and I whimpered. I couldn’t help it. I felt utterly helpless. Consumed by the heat from his mouth.

As his tongue started to flick my nipple, he reached down in between my legs.

‘Fuck, Bells. You are so wet. I love it.’ He began stroking me and I cried out. It was like I’d been electrocuted. How could one man’s touch be so powerful?

Mike started kissing down my belly button, going lower and lower, until—

Ohhhh…

The second I felt his tongue between my legs, I felt like I was going to explode.

I lifted my hips off the bed, pushing myself into him. ‘You taste so good, Bells,’ Mike groaned and buried his head deeper. The sensations shooting through my body were almost too much for me to handle. Hearing the sound of his deep, sexy voice and feeling the heat from his warm breath was a powerful combination.

At first he started circling me, so slowly, with long, lingering strokes. I was in heaven right now. Every inch of me trembled with desire. Mike gradually picked up the pace. The flicks of his tongue became more urgent, with each one sending me closer and closer to the edge.

I dug my nails into his back. This was the definition of pure pleasure. I wanted it to go on forever, but I knew I was close. I felt the wave building and building; the room started spinning and the blood flooded through my veins at what felt like a thousand miles an hour.

I wasn’t ready for it to end. If I could just hold on for… just…

Too late.

I raised my hips, screaming with pleasure. I’d never been noisy during sex, but then I’d never experienced an orgasm like this before either. It was like I’d been hit by a tornado.

I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to regain consciousness. When I was able to strain them open again, I saw Mike lift his head.

‘I feel like I could have done that forever.’ He licked his lips.

‘Definitely no complaints from me,’ I gasped.

‘Good to know,’ he smirked.

‘Although…’ My chest was still heaving, but I wasn’t done with him yet. I’d waited too long for this to stop halfway. ‘Thinking about it, I do have one: you’re still wearing clothes. I can help you to resolve this issue if you like?’

‘Oh really?’ Mike moved from between my legs and straddled me.

‘Yes, really…’ I tugged at his tracksuit bottoms. Excitement pulsed between my legs as I peeled them down along with his dark grey boxer shorts. As his rod sprang free, my eyes almost flew from their sockets.

The rumours really were true. I’d known Mike was a big boy, but wow. Length and girth? This was the stuff of dreams.

I slid my hands hungrily up and down him.

‘Fuck, Bells,’ he groaned. ‘You are literally killing me right now.’

‘I’m killing you?’ I continued stroking him. ‘You have no idea what you’re doing to me. I want you inside of me so badly. No—it’s gone past the wanting stage. I need you inside of me.’ Using my other hand, I reached into my bedroom drawer and pulled out a condom. ‘But first, it’s my turn to taste you…’ I rolled him over onto his back.

‘I’d love that, you have no idea how much, but I won’t last. Just thinking about having your mouth wrapped around my cock is enough to make me come. If you really need me inside you, Bells, let me do it, right now.’

‘I’m ready.’ I tossed the cushions resting on the duvet onto the floor. I wanted to make use of every inch of this bed. ‘Do it.’

Mike rolled me off him, sending me onto my back again, quickly ripped open the condom packet and made fast work of sliding it on. He spread my legs, then thrust inside.

I gasped.

Oh my God.

This was finally happening. I’d fantasised about this for what felt like forever, and after waiting so long, Mike Jones was finally inside me.

We rocked back and forth and it was good, but something wasn’t right. Although I felt every inch of him, something was off.

‘You’re holding back.’ I looked up into his eyes. Mike paused. ‘I can feel it. I know you’ve got it in your head that I’m all sweet and innocent, but I don’t want to be anymore. I want you to fuck me.’ I raised my voice cautiously.

It felt weird saying that out loud. It was like something in me had shifted. I’d suddenly transformed from good girl Bella into naughty Bella and I liked it. I was sick and tired of toeing the line all the time and being so rigid. I always held back, and look where that had got me. Nowhere. I wanted to let go. To be bad for a change.

‘What did you just say?’ Mike frowned.

‘You heard me,’ I said firmly. ‘I said I want you to fuck me, Mike. Hard. I’ve wanted this to happen since our graduation night. Actually, well before then, so don’t hold back. Give me everything you’ve got.’

‘Well, well, well…’ Mike raised an eyebrow. ‘I can’t remember ever hearing you swear. I had no idea you had such a dirty mouth…’ His eyes darkened.

‘I swear just like everyone does.’ I gripped his bum firmly. ‘I just save my expletives for when they’re really needed. Like right now. So stopping fucking talking, Mike, and fuck me.’

‘You asked for it,’ Mike growled before thrusting inside of me at full power.

He got my instructions loud and clear and really went for it with gusto. As he pounded into me, I wondered if I’d bitten off more than I could chew. But those thoughts didn’t last long. Now this was finally happening, I was going to make the most of every second. I wrapped my legs around his back, pushing myself into him.

He went deeper and deeper, causing my body to spark with every electric thrust. Then he reached between my legs and began stroking my swollen clit. I was going to come again. I could feel it. I dug my nails into his back and lifted my hips, pushing harder and harder against him.

And then I felt it. The pleasure tidal wave. Zipping from my head, down my spine, through my legs right down to my toes and just everywhere.

‘I can’t… I…’

I felt like someone had put a bomb inside me and pressed the activate button.

As I exploded, Mike continued to pump in and out before growling loudly. He then collapsed on top of me.

Mike rolled off onto his back, and we lay there for a while, our chests heaving.

‘So… we did it…’ Mike turned to face me. As we looked into each other’s eyes, he ran his hands slowly down my body.

‘We did… thirteen years of foreplay must be some sort of record, but it was definitely worth the wait.’ I grinned.

‘You have no idea how many times I’d imagined doing this, Bells. Now that I think about it, that’s probably a good thing,’ he laughed. ‘But I didn’t ever dream it would be as amazing as this.’

‘Me either.’ Having sex with a friend should feel weird or strange somehow, but for me, everything just felt so right. I’d known we connected emotionally, but the physical connection was the final piece of the puzzle. Mike really was the whole package.

‘I’ve never been addicted to anything before, but I already know I’m addicted to you, Bells. I just want to do that again and again. I should probably warn you now… I’ve got a big appetite and all I want is you. I want to devour every inch of you. Like I said earlier, I want to have you everywhere in this flat: on your sofa, against the wall, in the shower… fuck.’

I moved my hand between his legs and started stroking him. ‘No complaints from me.’ I could already feel him getting hard and loved that he was so turned on. I was too. Naughty Bella had returned and was dancing on my shoulder. I couldn’t wait to feel Mike, over and over. ‘I’m ready to go again when you are.’