His Little Sunshine by Della Cain
Chapter Six
Quinn
“We’re just going to check on things at the barn,” Holden said to Johnson and Kasper. “Why don’t you two bring your things in and get settled. Same room as last time?”
One of the changes Holden adjusted to when Declan moved in was that they had overnight company pretty often. That’s what happens when your friends live hours away. It was good for him. Holden liked taking care of people, and this place was more alive than it ever had been.
“That’s great. Thanks. When we’re done, maybe we can set up s’mores.” Johnson put his arm around Kasper, who was now beaming.
It wasn’t like they hadn’t had enough candy. Evan always brought some, but today he outdid himself. It’d be a miracle if someone didn’t leave the ranch with a cavity.
“Perfect.” Holden waved me to come with. We didn’t have anything that needed checking, meaning he wanted to talk to me about Brad.
I followed him out, giving the couple a wave. To my surprise, Holden didn’t start talking right away. In a way, that was worse because I was letting all the what-ifs build up inside me.
“What are you worried about in the barn?” I asked, unable to take the lack of talking.
“Nothing, and you know it.” He chuckled.
“Brad.”
“You like him.” We ended up near the calves…where I had found Brad earlier.
“I do. But tell me to back off and I will, cuz. Family first and all that.” I wouldn’t be pleased but, this was a complicated situation, given how his boy’s work was involved.
“If you just want to fuck, then back off. But I don’t get that vibe from you.”
“No. And if I wanted a fuck, I’d use a hook-up app.” I cringed at the thought of it. One-night stands had never been my thing, unlike my cousin pre-Declan.
“He’s not like other guys.” Holden scratched his chin. “He…his family…he might need time. As bad as your dad is, I get the feeling his parents were worse.”
My father was always an ass, but his true shittiness came when I stepped out of the closet. He expected me to be a “real man” and make tons of babies who could one day work the land. I ruined all of his dreams with one announcement, and he let it be known.
“I got that.” His trained me comment at dinner had told me all I needed to know. “And before you say anything about him being quirky or different, I know that, too. That’s part of what I like about him.”
“I wasn’t, but I’m glad you weren’t just looking at his ass and thinking you wanted some of that,” he said in jest. That wasn’t me, and he knew it.
“What I was going to ask was, what if he doesn’t want a daddy? Would you walk away?” Holden was asking me, in the most convoluted way, if I would hurt him. And I got it.
Brad was important to his boy and therefore important to him. But the truth was, I couldn’t guarantee that either of us would come out without some heartache. No one could ever promise that. But I’d guard his heart. That was the best I could do.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “No. But you know what? It’s not a deal breaker for me.” When I opened my eyes again, Holden was staring at me with an odd look upon his face. “What?”
“Not a deal breaker. Would you really settle for a relationship that didn’t meet all of your needs?”
“I can take care of someone without needing them to be little.” It wasn’t what I envisioned in a relationship, but I could make it work for the right person. “A couple of times today I thought he might be little or possibly middle, but then I remembered I found him hiding in the barn from your playdate.” When he danced his little dinosaur nuggets around, though…
“Don’t take that as him not being interested.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “I get the sense he’s intrigued. I just don’t think he knows what to do with that. I definitely wouldn’t go out and buy a crib, but I do think an open dialogue might be what he needs.”
“That is if he even wants to dive into something with me. He might just be feeling like the odd man out today.”
“I saw him kiss your cheek.” I knew it. It had been unusual for him not to just come on in. “So, try again.”
“He was thanking me for dinner.”
“At the rate you two are going, you’re never getting laid. It took me about one minute after meeting Declan before I was ready to take him home.”
“And you thought he wasn’t going to be here after that night, so you decided to skip all the steps.” I started toward the door. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I wanted to get back to Brad.
“Fair enough. I’ll let you be.” He followed me out. “Declan’s fine with you wooing his business partner.”
“So glad I have permission.” I rolled my eyes, but really I was glad. It had been one of the things worrying me and the main reason I hadn’t approached him earlier.
“Anytime, cuz. Let’s get that fire burning. Evan brought homemade marshmallows for the s’mores.”
“And you wasted our time in the barn?” I sped up my pace. “I’ve had one of those. They’re little bits of heaven.”
“They are indeed. I probably should put some burgers on or something to counteract all the sugar from today.”
“Probably,” I teased as we reached the main house. “I’ll go make sure things are ready for the fire. Did you need me to run to town for some drinks, too?”
“Nope. We grabbed some beer and soda yesterday.” We went our separate ways, but my mind stayed on our conversation.
Holden was right. We needed an open dialogue. Maybe we didn’t want anything the same, and friendship it would need to remain. But maybe we did, and that was worth the risk.