His Little Sunshine by Della Cain

Chapter Eight

Quinn

I took a chance when I made him the fish-shaped cracker for his s’mores. Did he want a daddy, or was he being nice? It was hard to tell, especially coming at the tail end of the conversation, but one thing was for sure, he did like the s’more, and that made it worth doing.

“We’re headed in,” Evan said. He and Sebastian stood behind their chairs, the fire now nothing but ash. Johnson and Kasper had already gone inside, and it was getting late. “Put these out back?”

“I’ll show you where.” Brad got up and grabbed his own chair. “Just around here.”

“Any of ours go there, too?” Luke asked.

“Nope. Just mine and Declan’s. The rest live out here.” Declan was sitting in Holden’s lap all snuggled in. He was tired. They would stay out until last, though, to not abandon their guests which meant as much fun as we’d been having and as much as I didn’t want the day to end, it was time to go.

“We should get going,” I said to Brad when he came back.

“I’ll drive the car around, I guess.” He shrugged.

“Or you can leave it up here, and I’ll carry your bag down.” The driving path between the two houses was less than ideal. “That way, you don’t have to worry about your shocks.” It wasn’t bad if you had a truck, but, with his city car, it was probably best to skip it.

“Yeah, okay.” We wished everyone good night, and I had to give it to my cousin. He refrained from giving me the I-told-you-so glance. And really, nothing that happened proved him right, but he was my cousin, and in many ways like my brother, so I wouldn’t have been surprised had he teased me, even subtly.

Brad only had a tiny bag. I half suspected he hadn’t really been set in his notion to stay when he left, like this might be an emergency bag of some sort. I was happy to bring it to my place and was even more pleased that he didn’t try to talk me out of it.

I was looking for signs he might want a daddy, and I was finding them in places they weren’t, I was sure. But I counted this among signs that said he was.

“You probably have to get up really early to deal with the animals, right?”

I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side to avoid a hole. Even with the moonlight, the path wasn’t the best lit.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime. And I don’t work tomorrow.” I’d probably end up helping. It was the way of things around here, but technically, Sunday was my day to sleep in, run errands, and whatever else I felt like doing.

“That’s good. I kind of thought you worked all the time.”

“A lot, yes, but not all. I technically work for my cousin, but in a way, this is my ranch. Like it’s personal to me and not a job.”

“I get that. That’s why I like doing the work with Declan more than the television part of things. It’s personal.”

I pulled him aside again.

“Probably best if I just hang on to you.” He wove his arm through mine. “Besides, I want to.”

So shy and yet so bold.

“Probably for the best.” We were almost at the house, and I wanted to slow our pace, make it last longer. “You know, so you don’t trip.” I squeezed my arm a little bit closer, giving him a weird sort of arm hug. “And I like it.”

“I do, too.” He leaned into my side.

We walked the short distance to my porch in silence. “Let me show you the guest room.”

“Or maybe I could stay in your room?”

I froze at his words. Had he been drinking, I’d have thought it was the liquor talking, but he’d been drinking iced tea all night. Not a thing in it that yanks away your filter the way alcohol does.

“Do you want that?” Gah, of course he did, or he wouldn’t have said it, but there I was asking anyway.

“Do I want to get you naked and do naked things that make us both come? More than anything.”

“But? I sense a but.” I opened the door, and he stepped inside. I wanted to give him a few seconds to think this through.

“I live in the city, and you live here, and Declan thinks I need a daddy. I don’t even know what that means, but I half think he might be right. And that means even if long distance was fabulous, it wouldn’t be ideal for us because I don’t know what I want and need.”

He took a deep breath and continued his babbling. I appreciated it. It meant what he said was exactly how he felt at the time the words left his sexy lips, and not that he was forming them carefully to please me or fit in or whatever.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t…I mean, if you want to…we could have tonight.”

His eyes pleaded with me to give him an answer that wasn’t full-on rejection. Like I could reject him.

I cupped his cheek. “Oh, Sunshine, there’s nothing more I want than you in my bed.” I brushed my lips against his. “But if I bring you in there, I’ll want more. There’s no way one night with you can be enough.” His shoulders sagged. “I don’t need or want you to promise me forever, but I don’t want this to be one and done. You’re worth more than that.”

“I don’t want that, either. But nothing about being with me is fair.” He leaned into my hand. “I was sort of lying before—not to you but to me. I have been for a long time. It’s not half of me that thinks I might be little or middle or some mix thereof…it’s all of me, and I need to figure it out.”

“But you don’t need to figure it out tonight. It took me a long time to work out that I was a daddy. I was probably thirty.”

His jaw dropped. “I thought you were younger than me.”

Not where I was expecting him to go with that. Brad would always keep me on my toes if he decided to give us a try. That was for sure.

“I get that a lot. Declan thought I was his age. But nope. I’m on the wrong side of forty.” Barely. But enough Holden welcomed me to the old side on more than one occasion.

“You look good.” He let out a whistle that was more of a crack than music, but it worked.

“Be sure to tell my cousin that. He says I get new wrinkles daily.”

Brad looked to the floor, and I wanted to tap his chin and have him meet my eyes, but I waited instead…waited for more like a minute. Unlike a lot of what he said, this one he was thinking through.

“And if I find out I’m little but not like the kind who wants a daddy?” His voice hitched.

I put his bag down and wrapped him in a hug. “There’s no right way to figure any of this out.” His arms closed around me. “And there’s no way to know if we will even like each other come morning. But, I can promise you this…as long as you let me in, and I let you in, this can be a beautiful thing regardless of the outcome.”

“Meaning I won’t have to feel weird here if you don’t like my bedroom skills,” he murmured.

Oh my goodness, so much worry.

“Pretty sure that won’t be an issue, but yeah, if we decide we don’t work for whatever reason, you won’t lose this place or Declan or my cousin.”

“I’m…my stomach’s filled with butterflies, my junk is hard, and I want to take a step with you. Also, I’m scared.”

“Then we don’t do anything tonight.” I kissed the top of his head. “And we go slowly.”

He pulled back from me, the look on his face a cross of panic and confusion. “I’m saying everything wrong. I don’t want to go slow. I mean, I do, but just on the little and daddy thing, not on the other stuff, unless you’re wanting to.” He bit his bottom lip, and I brought my hands up to his cheeks.

“Thank you for telling me everything. Your trust in me means more than you can fathom.” His eyes softened, relaxing a bit. “How about this…everything daddy is completely off the table for tonight.”

“Okay.”

“So, let’s get you to a bedroom.” I worded it carefully. I would never push. Ever. But I had a feeling that in this case, guiding him in either direction would give him insecurity. This was better.

“Yours, right?”

“Yes, Sunshine.” I picked up his bag. “Mine.”