Big Boy by Skyler Snow

Carter hadn't shownup to the gym. That was the biggest red flag. Lately, he'd been coming in faithfully, but him disappearing was never a good thing. I finished up work and went to his place immediately to check on him, every sense in my body tingling. What if he was spiraling? It was easy for him to fall into a black hole and I wanted to be the one to drag him back out.

As soon as I knocked on his door, I heard him shuffling inside before the door was wrenched open. Carter looked exhausted like he hadn't slept in days on end, but I had only put him to bed two nights ago as we fell asleep on another video call. I reached out and touched his cheek.

"You haven't been responding to my texts. What's wrong?"

Carter shrugged. "Little tired.”

"And?" I asked, raising a brow. "What else?"

"Nothing."

Carter turned and walked into his apartment. I followed, closing the door behind myself before I turned around and really focused on the space around me. Damn. There were pillows and blankets tossed on the floor where Carter was obviously spending most of his time along with some bottles of water and snack wrappers. He plopped down with a grunt and grabbed his remote before he started playing again. Captain America was on his lap and he looked small hugging the stuffie that I had brought for him.

"Hey, it's only been a few days since I've been here. Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah."

I didn't believe him for a second. But, I didn't pester him. Instead, I searched around his kitchen and found garbage bags. I grabbed one and started to toss out empty water bottles, wrappers, and leftover food. Depression. I recognized it when I saw it and Carter was there. Once I'd disposed of all the trash I took another bag and collected the laundry that was strewn all over the apartment before I sat the bag in the living room.

"You didn't have to do that," Carter said as he glanced up at me. "I should have cleaned it."

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. Don't worry about it." I crouched down beside him and he avoided my gaze before I grabbed his chin and held it there until we made eye contact. "We can sit here and do nothing. Together. Or we can go somewhere. I have a place I like to visit when I'm feeling down."

"Yeah? Where?"

"It's a surprise. If you can get up and get dressed for me then we'll go."

Curiosity passed Carter's face. "Do I have to pick out my clothes?"

I smiled. "Nope. Let Daddy take care of clothes and you go ahead and shower. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Daddy." Carter's sadness lifted a little and I saw excitement as I helped pull him to his feet. "I'll be quick."

"Good boy."

I gave his head a firm pat and he nuzzled my palm. Carter stayed right there cuddling my hand as I scratched and rubbed his scalp. If he was a cat he would be purring. Finally, he pulled away with a groan.

"We could just stay here and do this," he muttered, his eyelids fluttering closed. "Feels good."

"Do you want to do that instead?"

Carter opened his eyes and seemed to think about it before he shook his head. "No. I want to know what the surprise is."

"Curious boy," I smiled. "Okay, let's get ready then."

Once Carter was in the bathroom showering, I went into his bedroom and looked around until I found some clothes for him to wear. I smiled at the brand new shirts that he'd bought, ones that fit properly, and picked one out. He was big into superheroes so I grabbed the iron man one and a pair of comfortable black jeans and some briefs. A maroon sweater completed the outfit since I didn't want him to get cold. I laid everything out on his bed and went back to cleaning to occupy my time.

I was in the living room running a vacuum over the carpet when Carter came out. He looked refreshed, his hair brushed and his beard neat. I put the vacuum away and held out my hand. Carter immediately crossed the room and slipped his hand into mine. I gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“You look amazing,” I said as I reached over and adjusted his already perfect clothes just to touch him. “And happier.”

“I guess a little,” he muttered. “Are we leaving now?”

“Yep, we’re all set to go.”

I led the way out of his apartment and helped him into the car. Yes, I didn’t have to, but I buckled up his seatbelt for him and closed the door gently. I wanted to take care of him as much as possible. He needed to be cuddled and comforted and shown that he was an absolute prince.

"Where are we going?"

I chuckled. "It's a surprise, remember? We'll be there soon enough."

Carter groaned. "Come on, tell me." He tugged at my sleeve. "Where are we going?"

"Hey, behave yourself or I'll turn this car around."

He snorted. "You'll turn the car around? Really?"

I grinned. "Come on, if I'm acting as your Daddy I might as well step into the dad role."

A groan left his lips. "You're so corny sometimes."

"You love it."

We teased each other and I saw the darkness lift from Carter's face. By the time we arrived at Plus Arcade, Carter was in a much better mood. The moment his eyes landed on the building, however, his eyes widened and he bounced in his seat excitedly.

"An arcade! I haven't been to one of these in ages!" He hopped out of the car as soon as we were parked and ran around to my side. "Come on, Daddy. Hurry!"

I burst out laughing. Just like that he had slipped into his middle space and was ready to go. As I watched him bouncing in place I wished that I was his permanent Daddy. I loved being around him, helping him out, and seeing him grow. And every time he called me Daddy, I wanted him to call me that forever.

We held hands and he practically dragged me into the arcade. Bright lights and noises greeted us as we walked through the double doors. Carter's brown eyes lit up and he took off as I pulled out my credit card and went to get tokens for the machines.

"Carter, stay close to me."

He bounded back and tapped his foot impatiently as he leaned on the machine. "Can't you go any faster?"

"Someone's feeling bratty tonight," I mused as I typed on the screen. "Chill, I'm almost done."

"Daddy, I know but I-"

I leaned over and kissed him. Carter instantly stopped talking, his eyes going wide. Even when I pulled away he was still frozen in place, blinking. I chuckled and finished up before I grabbed a cup and filled it with gold tokens. "Here, for you," I said as I handed him the cup. "What should we play first?"

Carter cleared his throat. "Um, I uh..." He coughed. "Want to race?"

"I'd love to." I grinned. "Lead the way."

Carter’s excitement came right back. He led me through the rows of games and stopped when he found something he wanted. We played a racing game first, killed zombies, and then went head to head on my favorite fighting game.

"Ah man come on," Carter groaned. "Why are you so good at this one?"

"It's a classic and I have Mei. She's the best fighter in the game."

"That's not fair," he huffed before he pressed the start button. "Let's go again."

I chuckled and started. Carter was good, but I was better when it came to fighting games. The more I kicked his ass, the more he was determined to beat me. I glanced over and smiled at his scrunched-up face, fully concentrating on beating me. When I looked back at the screen, I tapped the buttons, but not nearly as fast as before. Carter's character picked mine up and tossed her across the screen before a huge K.O popped up.

"Finally!" he shouted. "I got you that time."

"You did," I said as I watched him shift his hips side to side in a little celebratory dance. "Hey, hey don't rub it in now."

He grinned. "It's hard not to. I finally beat you."

"Good job." I petted his head. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Carter. I wish this was a real date."

The words slipped out of my mouth without thinking. I usually took my time and talked slowly letting my mind work before I opened my mouth. But when I was around Carter things just popped out without me realizing it half the time.

"Why can't it be a real date?" Carter asked.

I shifted from foot to foot. "I don't want to get in the way of your healing," I said honestly. "I don't want to hurt you." I shook my head, my voice more resolute. "I'll never hurt you. My desire to be with you isn't as important as you being in a good place."

Carter's face looked red even under the blue wash of the lights. "I uh wow," he whispered.

"Sorry, that was a lot," I muttered.

He shook his head. "No, it's not that. I love that you care about me so much that you don't want to take advantage of me or anything. That means a lot." He reached out and took my hand. "But what I'm going through, it's a lifelong thing. I'll always be in recovery even years later. You know that."

"I do," I nodded.

"So, ask me on a date," he said quietly. "You make me feel better than anyone I've ever met. When I'm with you I forget I'm fat and you're a god. We're just... us. And I want that."

I rolled my eyes. “I am not a god, will you stop that? You’re fucking hot and if I have to prove that, I’ll bend you over one of these games right now. Stop talking shit about yourself.”

Carter's cheeks somehow became even redder, the blush working down his neck. For such a big guy, Carter had the shyest, softest demeanor. He was my personal teddy bear. It made me want to pull him into my arms and hold him close.

"Hey," I said as he tilted his head and raised a brow. "Want to go out on a date with me?"

A grin tugged at Carter's lips. "I'm not sure about that. I'll have to check my schedule."

My jaw dropped. "What did you say?"

Carter laughed and snatched the cup of tokens before he ran away from me. His raucous laughter made my heart feel warm. I followed after him, not speeding up past a walk as he freaked out trying to get away from me. When he turned around, I grinned and he let out the cutest damn yelp as he sped off again.

He definitely had a point. Carter would always be in recovery with an eating disorder. I was the same way fighting off body dysmorphia and trying to stay on the right track. But Carter really made me feel at home with myself. And I wanted to be that for him too. We could take it slow because I didn't want to put any pressure on him that he couldn't handle, but I was falling for Carter. And I wanted to be with him the way he clearly wanted to be with me.

I caught up to him and pressed my lips against his neck. "What was that you said before running away?"

Carter squirmed. "I said uh I'll think- Fuck!"

I blew on Carter's neck and he practically melted. My tongue traced over his skin and he let out a quiet groan as he tried to focus on the arcade game in front of him.

"You never answered my question," I said. "Do you want to go out on a date with me?"

Carter nodded hard. "Of course I do, Daddy. I'd love that."

I chuckled and plucked up a token before pushing it into the machine. "Good boy."

He groaned. "Can we go home soon?"

"Why?" I asked innocently. "Is something wrong?"

Carter shook his head. "You know what you did, Daddy."

I chuckled. Someone was all worked up. Clearly, he was feeling a lot better than he was before. As I watched him dive into his next game, my heart skipped a beat.

I wanted to be Carter's Daddy forever.