A Lock Of Death by Beena Khan

22

The sun had set when Dimitri and I had stepped out of his ancestral home in Old Westbury.

I had shifted from his penthouse and into his real home.

I had met Pakhan too.

At first, I hadn’t been sure what to say to him.

“Well, you have managed to woo my emotionless brother,” Alexander said smoothly when I ran into him at the staircase.

My eyes jerked up at him, surprised, but the playfulness in his eyes made me relax. His black eyes were still the same. A suit still clung to every inch of his body. A true Pakhan.

“He cares about you,” Alexander said softly. He looked away before replying, “I didn’t know what Boris had done.”

I exhaled roughly before fiddling with my braid.

“Why does it matter, Pakhan? You did what you did, anyway.” I tried to keep the hurt away from my voice, but it seeped out.

His black eyes shot up at me and narrowed.

“It matters because he came for you in that tower, given to you under my protection.”

I stayed silent and glanced at the floor.

“I can’t change the past,” he said after a beat, “But you will stay with us from now on. No one can get past these gates without me knowing because I live here.”

My eyes jerked up and he tilted his head.

“I used to say to Dima that he and I are one. You’re one of us now too.” He gave me one of his smirks before he walked away.

I snapped back into reality.

Dimitri’s blue eyes met mine, and I flashed a smile.

He didn’t return one, but I wasn’t disappointed.

He was still learning to smile.

I wished his eyes softened though. They always did these days when I smiled at him. Today, a complete brute greeted me, and I wanted to throttle him. One of his arms rested outside the window and the other gripped the steering wheel. An uneasy feeling churned through my heart. I tried to catch his eye, but he only stared straight ahead. I almost wanted to reach out to him.

What was going on with him?

I swallowed thickly.

I hoped he wasn’t having second thoughts about us.

He still hadn’t said he loved me.

Two weeks had passed since I’d said it and every day, I waited for him to say it back, but he never did.

I didn’t think he could ever love me though. He wasn’t wired to feel love. I brushed off my thoughts. I was just overthinking everything. He stuck with me throughout it all, even willing to take on his Bratva Brotherhood for me.

I glanced at him again to speak but the entire one hour ride filled with silence.

I scratched my head, puzzled once again.

“Is everything okay?” I finally asked.

He glanced over at me and his eyes blazed.

I wish I hadn’t spoken at all.

His jaw ticked and he focused on the road in front of me.

My heart fell, and I wanted him to look at me again.

Moody ass. I sighed silently and sulked in my seat, despair filling in my soul.

A few moments later, his hand reached out and his rough fingers stroked the back of my knuckles.

I glanced at him, and his eyes softened at me.

Blue. My heart brightened.

I smiled, and his lips lifted into a tiny one.

He continued stroking the back of my hand as he drove.

We stopped before a two-story brick house in an urban Queens location. Trees framed the front yard, but the leaves of them had fallen off.

My eyes watered in recognition at the familiarity of it all.

Exiting the car, my footsteps rushed to the house, my eyes brightening and filling with tears. I inhaled the cedar scent that I still recognized. The lights inside of the home were still turned on. My heart thumped and raced in excitement. I was as excited as a child discovering ice cream for the first time.

My childhood home.

Dimitri had tracked down my father.

Luckily, it was still the same house, and my father hadn’t shifted. He didn’t know I was coming today. Dimitri had mentioned my father still hadn’t remarried or had any other children. It was like he was waiting for me to return all along.

I glanced over my shoulder at Dimitri who double parked and exited out the door.

His gaze met mine again.

I turned back around with a smile and rang the doorbell, my feet almost jumping up and down.

Dimitri came up next to me.

I rubbed my hands together in the cold winter air before wrapping my wool coat around me tighter.

My French braid hung behind me, reaching past my knees.

Five seconds later, the door opened.

My father, Aram, stared back at me.

It was like looking into the spitting image of myself.

The same familiar hazel eyes I had met mine.

A lump formed in my throat. He looked older, and he had deep wrinkles around his eyes. His eyes dropped and his once golden skin looked darker. Deep, dark circles hung around his eyes like he hadn’t had a goodnight's sleep in ages. His black hair had specks of gray in them. He wore a white sweater with black pants. His eyes lit in recognition before they watered.

“Sweetheart, is that you?” my father croaked.

He remembers me.

My heart almost exploded in joy.

I was seeing my father in the flesh.

I had given up a long time ago that I might never see him again. Tears filled my eyes. I moved forward to hug my father, but an arm stopped me. Frowning, I stopped in my tracks.

Dimitri held my hand.

I glanced up at him, but he only stared at my father.

He wore no smile on his face at all.

He continued to look at my father stonily and uneasiness ran down my soul.

“Let’s go inside first,” Dimitri said, looking straight ahead.

I blinked back tears and nodded.

My father stepped back, allowing us to enter.

As he closed the door behind us, I stared at the familiar house I’d once lived in. The warmth of it greeted me.

My eyes fell on the burning fireplace near us. My hungry gaze took in the wooden floors underneath me. The same ones I’d once grown up in. Smiling, I returned my attention to my father who observed me.

He cleared his throat and asked, “Where have you been, baby? I’ve searched everywhere for you.” His voice cracked and his glazed eyes fell on me.

I blew out a breath. “I’m here now.”

I was about to step forward and hug him, but Dimitri stepped in front of me again, shielding me from my father’s gaze.

I held a sigh in, and I bore holes into his black leather jacket.

What was his problem now?

Was he seriously jealous of my own father?

I couldn’t help but smile.

Ever since I’d seen that side of him, it never went away.

It was just like he felt an emotion for the very first time, and now he couldn’t stop feeling it.

The Russian Bratva genes are strong.

I peeked out my head from behind him and latched onto Dimitri’s arm.

I smiled up at him, but he was too focused on my father.

I opened my mouth to speak.

“Tell her,” Dimitri said, looking at my father dead in the eye.

I clamped it shut instead. A shiver ran down my spine at the deadly undertones in his voice.

My puzzled eyes darted from one man to the other.

“I found Henry Stevens,” Dimitri spoke, his voice cold and harsh as steel.

Blue was nowhere to be found.

My blood, pulse, and heart froze.

I stepped out from behind him on wobbling legs and looked up at Dimitri.

He took in my confused expression, and his eyes softened.

The darkness in his blue disappeared as he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. His eyebrows creased as he licked his lips slowly.

Guilt.

I recognized that emotion.

I’d never seen that on him before.

“I am so sorry, Goldie,” Dimitri whispered.

His voice ached for the first time and my heart raced.

“Forgive me,” he murmured.

Before I could ask him any questions, he cleared his throat and continued, “Before he died, he said, it wasn’t just his fault.” My eyes glittered. I still didn’t understand. “What he meant was, he didn’t act alone. Someone helped him.”

He looked away and stared my father dead in the eye.

Puzzled, I rubbed the back of my neck.

Where was Blue going with this?

An icy shiver erupted on the back of my neck.

“Your father sold you.”

I was afraid I’d misheard him.

My throat tightened with acid.

A tremor rocked through my body.

An ache pounded behind my eyes.

My world crashed to the floor around me.

“He is lying!” my father roared out. “She’s my daughter. How could you think I would want to hurt her? Who the hell are you to come into my house?”

Maybe he didn’t watch the news. I didn’t want to believe a word, but Dimitri would never lie to me. He never has.

I glanced at Dimitri again, waiting for him to speak.

I still hadn’t said a single word.

I refused to look at my father.

I only focused on my Blue.

“Henry Stevens admitted the truth before he died. A dying man never lies,” Dimitri only replied.

My throat burned with something fierce.

Hatred tasted acidic in my mouth.

Dimitri glanced sharply at me, meeting my dazed eyes. His blue eyes darkened, his jaw tightened, and he looked away.

He reached behind his jacket and pulled out his gun.

He aimed it at the man I had called my father.

Startled, my puzzled eyes turned away and looked straight ahead. “I-Is it true?” I asked breathlessly.

A part of me still didn’t want to believe it.

My father’s eyes flooded with tears, and he shook his head. He walked toward me, but Dimitri cocked the gun at him, and he paused in his footsteps.

“You will tell her the truth otherwise I will pull this trigger and end you,” Dimitri threatened, his voice deepening.

“I…I…” my father stammered.

“You have three seconds,” Dimitri replied.

My father glanced at me. “I did nothing, sweetheart!”

“One.”

Dimitri started his countdown.

“This man is lying to you!” my father screamed.

“Two.”

“I would never hurt you!” my father’s voice cracked.

The torment in his voice brought tears to my eyes. They glittered, and it was difficult to make out his features. I reached the back of my hand and wiped them away.

I desperately wanted to believe him.

Maybe Dimitri had a misunderstanding.

“Three.”

Dimitri tightened his finger, one second away from pulling the trigger.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen that way!” my father spilled.

My soul cracked.

I didn’t know how many times it was possible for a broken heart to splinter. It had slowly mended with Dimitri, but now it cracked all over again.

I blew out a deep breath, the bile in my throat burning.

“Tell her everything,” Dimitri ordered.

I slammed my eyes shut.

“I was in debt, sweetheart,” my father protested. “I had a loan to pay off. Henry Stevens offered me ten thousand for you. It was only supposed to be a one time deal.” I wanted to shut out his words. “I didn’t know he would abduct you!”

I popped open my eyes and my murderous gaze fell on my father.

He cowered back from us.

I shook my head hysterically and a bitter laugh left my throat. Fucked up. Even my family was fucked up.

I had nothing to say to him, so I stayed quiet instead.

“She was ten,” Dimitri murmured.

My father pulled at his hair. “I looked everywhere for you, sweetheart. I told the police about you. I’ve searched for you,” he pleaded, his dreary eyes widened.

“Did you tell the police about Henry Stevens?” Dimitri questioned.

My body stilled and I held in a sharp breath at the reply.

My father’s mouth dropped but nothing came out.

“I read the classified case file,” Dimitri continued.

I almost wanted to ask how he had access.

He caught me looking. “My cousin works in the DEA. He retrieved the case file from the FBI.”

That answered my unspoken question.

Dimitri faced my father again.

“There is no mention of a Henry Stevens in the case. However, it is mentioned you said, she played outside when she was kidnapped.”

I released the breath and I leaned against Dimitri’s shoulder, latching onto him.

My father offered nothing in his defense.

“You were afraid of getting caught, huh?” Dimitri taunted.

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes again.

I just wanted to leave this place and never return.

“You knew if you mentioned him, he would rat you out too. So, you kept your fucking mouth shut because you’re a sleazy piece of shit. You ruined your own daughter’s life. You destroyed your own blood.”

Dimitri paused and he exhaled roughly.

I could feel the wrath coming out of his body, and I wanted to comfort him. Well, I probably needed the comfort most, but I didn’t want him to be upset too.

“What kind of father are you?” Dimitri snarled. “A fucking dead father.”

Pop.

He pulled the trigger.

My head jerked up when my father shouted in distress.

I stared at the bullet that had pierced his leg.

Blood exuded out of the injury and stained the wooden floor.

“I’m sorry!” my father screamed. “I never meant for this to happen! I tried to look for Henry, but his landlord said he never returned the same day.”

Those words meant absolutely nothing to me.

“You sold my virginity for ten thousand dollars?”

Both men turned to look at me.

I was surprised I’d even spoken.

I suffered my whole life because of the man in front of me.

My own treacherous father.

My lip curled up in a sneer, and the tears no longer fell.

I refused to shed another tear… except for the man next to me who stood side by side. I glanced up at Dimitri who now stared at my father, still aiming the gun.

I focused my gaze on my father again.

“You have to believe me, sweetheart. It was one of the biggest regrets of my life. I’ve lived my life as a lonely man,” my father protested, still holding onto his injured bloody knee.

I laughed mockingly. “Lonely?” I repeated. “What the fuck do you know about lonely? Do you know what’s really lonely? Having nine men fuck you together and yet still feel like you are absolutely alone in this world.”

My father gasped like I had slapped him.

Good. He should know what I’d been through.

Dimitri tensed next to me.

“You know what’s lonely?”

I moved away from Dimitri and inched closer to my father.

“Getting high to keep the nightmares away because you have no one to fucking talk to about your pain. The nightmares never stop,” I exhaled roughly, “Those men still haunt me in my dreams. They might be dead, but they’re still very much alive in my imagination. That’s fucking lonely.”

My father reached out for me again.

Pop.

Dimitri shot him on the shoulder.

My father collapsed onto the floor, and I did not pity him.

“You know what else is lonely?” I snapped.

My father’s pitiful eyes met mine.

“That I would never feel the sun against my skin without burning me. I can only watch others live in the sun while I have to stay in the shadows. That’s fucking lonely.”

“Sweetheart,” my father gasped.

“You know what else is lonely?”

I was on a marathon ready to school him on everything.

I refused to shut up.

“The one person who was supposed to protect me turned out to be the executioner of my life. My father. That’s fucking lonely.”

I crouched in front of him as he continued to bleed.

I didn’t want his dirty blood on me, so I stayed a couple of feet away. The only thing we shared was DNA.

This man meant nothing to me.

All he reminded me of was my past.

My father lifted his hand to reach out to me.

Pop.

Dimitri shot him in his hand and he shrieked.

The blood didn’t repulse me today.

I looked up, my broken eyes meeting Dimitri’s.

That man was my present.

My future.

My everything.

My Blue.

He could be ruthless like the others, but he had a gentle side that the others had lacked. The gentle side that only I had seen. That I knew existed. He’d only shown it to me.

Dimitri’s footsteps moved toward me, eyeing my father the entire time. His gun stayed pointed at my father.

I faced my father again, and I reached for my long braid and pulled it in front of me, letting it rest on my chest.

I glanced down at it.

Thick, strong, and heavy.

My hair was longer than most.

It was also strongest than most.

Without my fingers touching my father’s skin, I wrapped my thick braid, looping it around his thick neck four times.

His eyes widened in surprise, and he sputtered protests.

Dimitri hovered over us and pressed the gun to my father’s temple, ready to press the trigger.

A smile crawled on my face.

My partner in crime.

My father stopped resisting even though tears rolled down his eyes. I yanked on the braid tightly, suffocating the man beneath me as he choked.

His face reddened and his hands reached for my face, but Dimitri stepped on his hands, preventing him from moving at all. I stared into my father’s eyes the entire time as I strangled the life out of him.

I had no mercy for his soul.

This man was the executioner of my life, and I would execute him myself.

My long braid had magical powers after all.

It was a rope.

A deadly weapon that killed.

Never mess with women with pretty hair.

Our looks could be our deadliest weapon yet.

The female mind was dangerous when provoked.

People never expected a female to be so dangerous.

A murderer.

I yanked my braid harder even though it hurt my scalp.

I didn’t stop. I guess I was bat shit crazy too.

The life in my father’s eyes dimmed.

His face turned purple as he blew out his last breath. He flopped, losing all of his energy and sagging.

I still held on for another minute just in case before I let go.

I craved the same darkness that Dimitri might have.

I never killed someone before and today, I murdered my father. My morality had disappeared today, and it would come back later. But I had no regrets, and I would do it again.

I wanted to bring him back to life just to snap his neck again.

My dazed eyes looked up at Dimitri Nikolaev.

His sapphire eyes glinted and sparkled.

It only took one snap for someone’s deepest, darkest urges to come to the surface.

One snap for a good girl to go bad.

One snap for a widow to turn into the Black Widow.